by Sharon O | Mar 11, 2016 | Uncategorized
At the memorial service for Frances there was a guest there who was invited to give the eulogy.
It was a wonderful surprise to see my youth pastor from high school, Ward Hill.
![IMG_1046 [1127794] ward and I](https://sharono-somethingtothinkabout.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/IMG_1046-1127794-ward-and-I-360x480.jpg)
He was a great influence for me as a young teen.
My family life was broken and I had a lot of questions to ask him.
When I began to go to the youth group I had no idea what to do or how to act.
Eventually I joined the youth singing group called the open door singers and we traveled all over Oregon for concerts.
It was a good and positive time for me.
Ward was a kind, gentle man. He had a wife with four children and they lived as a family together.
I watched with great amazement how he worked with the children and they worked together as a team in the youth group, then our singing group leaders were also married with two children.
So I was able to see the interaction between ‘a healthy family’.
I lived at home with my mom and sister’s, my dad had left many years before that.
My mom was remarried in my sophomore year of high school and that was both uncomfortable and unsafe.
As a young person I had many questions and many concerns, about life and struggles that were day to day.
At one point in time I met ‘my boyfriend who is now my husband’ and I also gave my life to Jesus and became baptized.
God gave me peace and also a life changing moment after I had said a prayer from my heart.
Testing him. Basically throwing a fleece out to him to see if he KNEW what I needed to believe.
Only a God who knows our hearts could ever answer a prayer like the one I said.
To this day many years later, I believe HE knew I had to have something tangible and real to hold onto in order for me to believe.
The story is in this:
Before I became a Christian.
My view of God was full of skepticism and unbelief.
He was like a Santa who gave things to people when they asked.
He was very far away and not an all knowing, GOD.
Jesus was a man in a story book.
I was not raised in a Christian home. Yet I do remember walking to a small church as a little girl to Sunday school. As I listened to the stories of the bible on flannel graph boards,
God and Jesus were unreachable to me.
They were characters in a hard backed book. I couldn’t touch them or feel them. They were songs sung to the music of an un-tuned piano. Jesus loves the little children… only I was not one of them.
The way God reached out to me is a wonderful and powerful reminder,
that HE does indeed listen to the prayers, of those who do not know Him.
He listens to the heart cries and He is moved with compassion.
In my freshman year of High School, I began to search the meaning of life. We had moved again to a new rental home and another new school. It was at the bus stop while waiting for the bus I would engage in conversation with a girl there. She was an honor student who lived with her parents in a normal stable family. I was very different. I would wear the Diana Ross ratted hair style, fake eye lashes (yes I did say that) and white eye shadow. Every day this girl would ask me questions. Pursuing me. Forcing me to ‘think’ about God and church and life.
Every day I argued with her.
My life experience had been much different than hers.
My concept of ‘love’ was not something she could understand. We were two friends speaking different languages.
She talked often and gave me lots of questions to think about.
As our friendship grew I began to listen to her and then I decided to test her ‘GOD’.
My sister Mary had been gone for many months on the street, living life as a drug addict and runaway. I missed her greatly and wanted desperately to see her. We didn’t know if she dead or alive and it was a heart ache I couldn’t take care of on my own.
I remembered this girl told me ‘GOD hears all prayers’.
I didn’t believe it but what could I lose by not trying?
One night as I was going to bed. Not knowing how to pray or how it all works for Him to hear you.
I prayed a simple prayer. A bold one. A searching from the heart prayer.
I said, “God I would believe, I think I can believe you, if you can find my sister.
The girl tells me you know everything, you see everything. So you should know how to find her. I want her home.
IF you are God. IF you know everything then YOU can bring her home tonight.
When I wake up in the morning I want her sleeping in her own bed. IF you can do that, then I will believe.”
I went to bed and fell into a deep sleep. Unusual for me at that stage of life.
You can imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning, and saw her across the room sleeping in her own bed. The police had found her in the middle of the night and contacted our mother. She had been beaten badly but she was home, sleeping in her bed, in our room.
It was a miraculous reunion of sisters. A cry from a young persons heart to a God who hears.
We were always hopeful she was alive, but never knowing.
Mary didn’t stay at home very long. She left soon after the first night, but my prayer was answered.
Now I had to deal with ‘the girl at the bus stop’. I made the phone call telling her what happened.
She told me about God, church and her youth group.
I believe God knew the only way I would trust, was for Him to show me an answer to a simple prayer.
From a simple heart. HE can do the unimaginable. I trust Him. The journey continues.
The girl at the bus stop is now my sister in law. We married brothers.
The years after God came into my life were not easy. But because of the strength
HE gave I was able to trust Him through the process. He was hope when I felt hopeless.
He was my peace when it wasn’t peaceful. He was love on a Cross saying to me, “I care deeply for you”.
His ways are mysterious and wonderful and I am always in awe of His love.
I have never regretted that first life changing prayer. I hope this finds you encouraged.
Our God is a God who hears the simple prayers of faith.
It doesn’t have to be fancy or elaborate it just has to be from the heart.
(I know this was long but the story had to be shared, Frances was my sister in law’s mother.)
by Sharon O | Mar 9, 2016 | Uncategorized
In my last writing I mentioned our son.
Today is his birthday, 41 years ago we brought home a tiny little baby boy all six pounds and nineteen inches long.
He was our first, we learned to be parents, of course we made many mistakes and struggled in our new role.
He was our blessing, a perfect tiny little person.
We learned by doing and hoping we would make it from one day to the next.
Being a parent is hard, there is no manual to read like in drivers ed. You don’t get a ‘You did it, you made it’.
We brought you home into our tiny little house, and we learned together.
You were our dimpled boy and our delight.
You grew and continued to bring us joy and laughter and many memories.
You had an incredible sense of pretend, there were no ‘electronic devises’ back then, other than our box size television.
You played and you had a wonderful imagination.
Some days you were a cowboy, some days you were riding your ‘bike’, some days you were a rescue person like on the show emergency.
You were our joy.
You grew and each year there were many new experiences for you.
You played the French horn for 8 years and I learned to love the mellow deep sound of the instrument.
You had your dog Noah who followed you and who helped you climb the rocks and hills outside our home.
Then we watched you graduate from high school, then go to college and then meet your love, still married many years later.
It has been quite the journey to walk with you through the many adventures and joys you have had.
We are very proud of you son.
We have prayed with you, walked with you, advised you and challenged you.
It has been a good 41 years. May we have many more.
Christopher which means Christ bearer, you have grown, your love for the Lord, your family and your country is what we are proud of.
You have become a wonderful husband, father and son and brother… God be with you and protect you always.
You will always have our love.
by Sharon O | Mar 9, 2016 | Uncategorized
Saturday the 5th we went to our second memorial service for someone in 8 days.
It was for a dear sweet little lady named Frances.
I worked with her at one point in time in our ‘newly married’ days, we sewed professionally for Pendleton woolen mills.
It didn’t take her too long before she guessed I was pregnant with our first baby, who would be our son.
I had a very hard time managing the early morning time being at work at 6:30 am and then to add the extreme nausea.
The machines were power sewing machines, and they had a ‘hum’ to them when they were sewing.
The hum actually was my breaking point as it put me to sleep, which caused me to sew my thumb.
After they had to remove the needle from my nail, wrap my thumb up, they laid me off.
I really didn’t mind. I was too sick to work.
Frances was so excited when she found out I was expecting a new little baby, 41 years ago.
She was our sister in law’s mother and the sweetest lady one could ever meet.
She was kind, and had a great smile and a great encouraging attitude, always fun to be around.
She was also the best friend of my husband’s parents. Her husband and the ‘folks’ would love to play Skip-Bo and eat snacks.
When someone dies it is always a hard and difficult time.
She was ready to go and made the decision to leave the hospital and go home on hospice.
When someone dies it leaves those of us who are left behind with only memories, pictures and stories we remember.
When we know they lived a good and happy life it is easier to let them go, even though we grieve we don’t grieve without hope.
She love her Lord Jesus. Her faith got her through a lot of hard and difficult times, and she remained strong.
When she closed her eyes and breathed her last breath, I am positive she entered into Heaven and asked,
‘Where is Dorothy?’ my husband’s mother who passed away a few years ago.
She also got to see her son who passed away and her grandson.
Frances Eva Henthorne 1926-2016 … She will be missed.
by Sharon O | Mar 3, 2016 | Uncategorized
I have been quiet this week, doing a lot of thinking and praying and pondering.
Life has been both good and really hard, so it is good to take a quiet little break.
We went to our ‘friends’ memorial service which was packed with many people.
It was a day of remembering… and gratitude that we were able to know her.
Our ‘grown’ children are finding good blessings around the corner for them.
Something every parent wants to see and know.
Our lives are moving at a pace that is slow yet fast approaching my husband’s retirement.
Job changes, money changes, I heard our doctor is no longer ‘in business’ so that is a new change.
I don’t like change.
I like the familiar. I like to know what is coming at me and what to expect.
Some things are out of our control. So I wait and tell myself to breathe, and enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.
Sometimes that is all you can do.
by Sharon O | Feb 26, 2016 | Uncategorized
The word prompt for the day is another easy one that fits right into our ‘week’ very well.
The word chosen is ‘Morning.’
Tomorrow morning we will get up and get ready to go to one more memorial service for one more friend who passed away.
It can be termed as MOURNING in the Morning.
Yes, same word two different spellings and two different meanings.
It is very sad to think that she is gone. No longer here, but in Heaven now.
I remember our conversations, our prayers for each other and our emails.
She left too soon. Born in 1960 and leaving in 2016.
God does know when we begin life and when we end it, but it seems so soon.
I have to trust that for some reason God wanted her to leave this place and move to a quieter more pleasant ‘scene’.
It is ok we can miss her from down here and we can wonder what it would have been like to have her stay.
Perhaps the best ‘peaceful place,’ is in heaven considering her struggle for the last four years.
Tomorrow morning we will drive to a church, sit in a pew bench, sing a few songs and remember, mourning is just for a short time.
Good bye my friend. I will miss you.
by Sharon O | Feb 24, 2016 | Uncategorized
I am tired and very weary of saying good bye and going to memorial services, for those who we know passing from us in un-expected ways, leaving us shocked or surprised and deeply saddened.
This Saturday we have a memorial service for our friend. She was beautiful, gifted, sweet and gentle.
I will miss her. When I heard she was on her death bed I was torn between going to visit and not.
Usually when one is on hospice, time is limited, and I had heard she was thin and gaunt looking and did I want to remember her that way?
I think not.
I remember her as a strong survivor who was courageous and brave.
I remember her as someone with deep faith and a warm spirit.
I remember sending messages via email to her and we would chat and talk and share, then she was not there.
The email address not available anymore.
I worried, I prayed. I fretted and wondered. Then I heard she was sicker, much sicker.
Cancer is a thief stealing from us those who we care for and wish to spend time with.
She fought hard and tried desperately to live in such a way as to find strength and stamina.
I wished to see her, but also respected the time she had with her family when someone is passing from this life to the next, it is a sacred time almost a holy place in time for remembering, for family and close intimate friends.
We were friends but I was not sure if it qualified me to ‘visit’ her in such a fragile condition.
Oh we knew her for over 15 years, but how comfortable would it be, to visit and observe, when she was dying.
It was a hard struggle for me to know what to do.
She was a daughter who loved her family, she was a kind and gentle person.
This Saturday we will walk into a church, listen to the words spoken and music sung and say good bye to one more, who left too early.
Then next Saturday we will go to another memorial service for an older person, who lived her life well and was ready to leave.
Each service will be a sad reminder that someday, we all will be ‘the one’ others will be coming for and I wonder, when it comes to be our time,
I pray and I hope we will leave a legacy that others will remember for many years after.
A good and positive legacy, of life, and love and hope and faith shared.
I will always remember our friend. Her beauty, her faith, her courageous smile.
She was beautiful.
by Sharon O | Feb 16, 2016 | Uncategorized
I didn’t get to the word prompt last Friday as I was focusing on the Valentine theme week, so today I am sharing the word prompt.
The word they chose is: Limit
An easy word I think, we often get to the end of our ’emotional, or physical road’ and sense there is a limit to what we can or cannot do.
I certainly am noticing many things in the last year that has changed for me.
Stairs are not as easy to climb, I cannot lift heavy objects as easy.
There is a Limit to my tolerance for rude people or behavior. I used to be able to ignore them, now I want to express my opinion.
Life is too short for rudeness or disrespect from others. I set a limit on those kinds of people in my life.
As we move towards our retirement money will be set to a Limit. It will not be as easy to spend knowing that ‘this is it’, and the well can get dry.
As we get older we set a Limit on our choice of snacks and wrong foods because as I have learned from reading, we really do become what we consume.
There has to be a Limit of the ‘not so good’ choices and an increase of the good choices.
When our children were little we would take them to the beach or camping and we would set the perimeters around where they could play.
The boundary was placed and they were given limits, or places of confinement for their safety.
The same as when we had our ‘dog’s there were certain limits we gave them, as to where they could go.
Life is full of these kinds of decisions, no matter what age we are, there are rules of limit for us.
It is good. It is safe and peaceful.
God even said that in the garden of Eden when He told Adam and Eve, you can eat everything but NOT from this one tree.
Did they listen? no. Did they get the cause and effect of that bad decision? yes. And we do to when we don’t follow the rules.
It is good to have a limits within our boundary where we can stay safe and secure as we move through life.
by Sharon O | Feb 12, 2016 | Uncategorized
When looking at the Bible there are 686 references to love inside this wonderful book.
That is powerful and obviously it means a lot for us because nothing was put in the word that God did not want.
[Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5] .
There are commandments and then there are affirmations on the ‘word love’ for us to pay attention to and act upon.
[So be very careful to love the Lord your God. Joshua 23:11]
There are instructions on how to love others, how to love our families and how to even love our selves.
[You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5]
There are so many wonderful verses to pick and choose from I am not sure where to begin.
I am hoping you understand and follow by now that our God is a wonderful, loving and respectful God.
[But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
Psalm 86:15]
He is always faithful, always waiting, always loving no matter what we do.
[When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. Psalm 94:18]
It is comforting to know HE cares always, is never too busy, although that is hard to imagine as He is God.
[ For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Psalm 11:5]
He stay with us throughout every generation and every span of time.
[But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— Psalm 103:17]
Oh I pray we grasp the depth and the width and the wonderful powerful love HE gives us over and over and over.
[For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Psalm 108:4]
It is good to remember and give thanks, it is good to remember and feel grateful. It is good to hold onto the promise, HE is not ever leaving.
[Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble. Psalm 119:165]
I pray we all in this time ‘of love’, remember God loves us. US that is You who are reading this, and ME who is writing this. Loves US.
[I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. proverbs 8:17]
[He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8]
[For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16]
There are many more verses I could share with you, I think the point has been made.
God’s love is always, available for us whenever we decide to seek him.
[God looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
Psalm 53:2]
On this Valentine weekend I pray we remember ‘the one Valentine,’ who gives us peace and hope and joy forever
and loves us with an unconditional love.
by Sharon O | Feb 11, 2016 | Uncategorized
Tonight in a restaurant my husband and I saw an old friend of ours.
It was a bitter sweet moment because he and his wife were good friends of ours.
He was a Pastor, had a small church, a great ‘wife’ who loved him and who also was diagnosed with breast cancer.
No fault of her own. It is just something that came to her.
In time, after a year or two, she had surgery to restore what was lost. Not a lot of chemo. Just a new look.
When you marry one of the vows are ‘for better or for worse’. She saw the worse. Parts of her body ‘removed’ and new parts aligned with the ‘old spaces’ left empty.
There was choice he made to ‘discontinue’ his vow. He lost his marriage, his church and He lost his first love.
He left her alone, without insurance, she was still medically ‘fragile’, he said she was not ‘perfect’, no one is.
It was no fault of her own, the scars spoke of courage, of bravery, of letting something go and replacing it with a healing better place.
He chose. He left her alone. I would encourage her, tell her she was brave. She was beautiful.
So tonight I am struggling with the news he shared. She is in last stage of dying, on hospice. Perhaps tonight.
He complained that family would not let him see her. Then he went to sit down with a lady I didn’t know and eat a meal. Is that right?
Eat a meal with someone who is not ‘your wife’… when she perhaps is dying?
It is not about HIM. NEVER has been.
In first Corinthians a book of the new testament, it says in chapter 13: 13
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
So when someone is dying. Someone you loved at one point in time, is leaving, I miss her already.
Her courage. Her stamina. Her resilience. Her love for HER God.
I have no way of finding out how to find her or see her. She was beautiful, a survivor. A warrior on many fronts.
How should I react? I am sad. She fought hard, then it came back, she fought more and I don’t know the final results. I heard it moved into the bone. The deep and dark and spreading place between morrow and cell giving birth to the wrong cells structure.
Love is NOT conditional. Love is ‘now’, right now.
I am sad for my good friend I know she loves the Lord, but I wish I could hold her hand and tell her ‘you are so beautiful, special and loved.’
Love is a choice. Some choose to not do the very hard.
by Sharon O | Feb 10, 2016 | Uncategorized
A life restored by the power of love.
February 11th is my sister’s birthday. This year will be her 63rd… this picture was of her 60th.
Every year I wish her happy birthday knowing in my heart, it is a miracle we thought would never happen.
In 2006 after visiting with her on many occasions, and realizing she was going down a fast road of fading away, I consulted with the doctor, and after pleading my case with great emotion
I said to him, “if she will not allow anyone to take her to the doctor, then let the doctor come to her.”
She was placed into hospice care, the diagnosis was death pending, within six months to live or sooner.
She had liver failure with a score of over 800, hepatitis C and starvation more like failure to thrive.
She was wheelchair bound with her 90 pound frame barely fitting into the leather seat. 
The pictures stored in her photo album paint a picture of her reality in ways that words never could, in fact I took it every where I went so I could plead her case more effectively. No one can grasp the depth of the situation unless one was there to witness it, like we were.
I remember the early morning call when her daughter said to me, “dad is dead.” I could hardly hear the words as I was barely awake and trying to focus.
Her husband died in the early morning hours on July 29th, 2006. He was her caregiver. I know it was hard as he was watching her die right in front of him, day in and day out.
It was shocking, sad, numbing, unexpected and a very horrible day for all of us in the family, when I received the phone call.
At first I thought it might be my sister. Then she repeated, “dad is dead.”
Oh my goodness that means ‘she is alone.’ My sister, who was dying just became a widow.
When I heard the news I knew I could never leave her there to die alone.
They lived in a small ‘5th wheel trailer’, and I knew I had to move her to a safer and more caring environment for her last days till she passed away from us.
When my husband and I arrived at their home, 14 miles from ours, the police, and coroner car, fire truck and chaos was all around the surrounding area.
When I saw her, she looked so fragile and broken and scared and maybe not even understanding.
I remember hugging her for a very long time.
He was gone, forever gone. A very big ‘family loss’ and a very deep one for her.
We loaded her into our car and drove the 14 mile drive in silence back to our house.
My husband and I in our own thoughts, as she slept in the back seat with her head pressed against the car window.
The hours ahead of us seemed surreal, what we were experiencing was like a very bad dream, only it was real and we were awake.
There were many things to do when we brought her home. I had to call my work and let my boss know I would not be back till she passed away, then call hospice, and family.
Our family room would become a resting place for the dying and we would sit with her as we watched and waited for her to die.
We started her out in a loveseat hide-a-bed then moved her into a hospital bed for the final journey of her hospice care.
The hospice team told us she had just a few weeks left so we were just keeping her comfortable.
We began a journey none of us would ever want to repeat.
She was drowning in a sea of alcoholism and like life guards, we jumped in and rescued her.
For me it was especially exhausting as I didn’t know how to swim or navigate this care taking process.
There were many things to deal with and it was physically and emotionally taxing on all who were involved.
The care taking team consisted of my husband and I, our older sister and her husband, the hospice team and most important the doctor who helped us.
I will forever be grateful to him for his patience and knowledge of this addiction process.
Days moved into weeks as we gave her round the clock care, as her thin body laid on the sheet of the hospital bed. Detoxing the demons out of her was a balance between medications every two hours, monitoring the seizures and praying the hallucinations would leave. I slept on a cot giving medications to her every two hours. You cannot believe the horrible effects detox has on a person, tremors take place, nausea and unsettled behavior. Seeing things that are not there are all a part of the detox cycle.
She had to have specific drugs to ease the discomfort and chaos inside her body and brain.
In the midst of the really hard, there were a few really funny moments of comedy relief.
Remembering the middle of the night when I was so exhausted to take her outside for a smoke, I gave her one that was unlit and told her to smoke it.
This was breaking my rule to never have cigarettes in my home, but she had no idea it wasn’t lit and I would hold the ash tray near her bed telling her to dump the ashes and she would do as she was told. I would watch her inhale and exhale pretend smoke, while feeling relieved I didn’t have to get her in her chair to go outside.
She smoked the same cigarette for four days before I had to start over with a new one.
The hospice team was amazed and we all laughed about my crazy idea of an unlit cigarette.
>
Everyone involved in the process with us was amazed at our ability to work together on this very difficult journey.
We realized her tolerance was very high, she was drinking a fifth of vodka daily, so in order for that to be removed one has to taper down slowly, or the body will crash in a violent way.
The doctor was amazing along with the hospice team and especially the chaplain, who helped us create a memorial service for her husband out in our courtyard, as she was too ill to go anywhere outside of our home. We sang songs, shared a few words and remembered the very special person that he was to us.
Day in and day out we took care of her and loved her through her wrecked life.
Soon her strength began to come back to her as we removed the alcohol from her system.
We were giving her three ounce doses of vodka two times daily and that seemed to keep the detox process comfortable for her.
She had to have help to eat, walk and move around the house. I remember feeding her like a mom would feed her toddler.
She slowly began to wall walk holding onto the walls for stability and a bit of independence.
In seven weeks were able to move her out of our home and into an adult foster home setting.
When that setting didn’t work well, we were able to move her into an assisted living facility not far from my home.
The day she chose to live was the day she quit dying.
The journey was long, hard and would we ever do it again?
No, I have told her many times. It was very hard. Too hard and too exhausting.
Today she is alive and living in an assisted living home. A place of safety for her.
Her brain is slowly coming back to her and she is thriving, she is enjoying life and enjoying family.
It is a story of love, sacrifice, sisterhood and hope.
It is a story of family, a journey of life and death and then life again.
IT IS A STORY OF SISTER’S …
There is so much more to this story I could share and someday I will when the time is right.
We brought her home to die in a safe and loving place. By caring for her, praying for her, and giving her hope.
Her life was restored from a wrecked life going no where to a place of healing with a new future.
Each year I am thankful she can have another birthday to enjoy her grand children and her family.
Because I will always remember the year she almost didn’t.
