I am tired and very weary of saying good bye and going to memorial services, for those who we know passing from us in un-expected ways, leaving us shocked or surprised and deeply saddened.
This Saturday we have a memorial service for our friend. She was beautiful, gifted, sweet and gentle.
I will miss her. When I heard she was on her death bed I was torn between going to visit and not.
Usually when one is on hospice, time is limited, and I had heard she was thin and gaunt looking and did I want to remember her that way?
I think not.
I remember her as a strong survivor who was courageous and brave.
I remember her as someone with deep faith and a warm spirit.
I remember sending messages via email to her and we would chat and talk and share, then she was not there.
The email address not available anymore.
I worried, I prayed. I fretted and wondered. Then I heard she was sicker, much sicker.
Cancer is a thief stealing from us those who we care for and wish to spend time with.
She fought hard and tried desperately to live in such a way as to find strength and stamina.
I wished to see her, but also respected the time she had with her family when someone is passing from this life to the next, it is a sacred time almost a holy place in time for remembering, for family and close intimate friends.
We were friends but I was not sure if it qualified me to ‘visit’ her in such a fragile condition.
Oh we knew her for over 15 years, but how comfortable would it be, to visit and observe, when she was dying.
It was a hard struggle for me to know what to do.
She was a daughter who loved her family, she was a kind and gentle person.
This Saturday we will walk into a church, listen to the words spoken and music sung and say good bye to one more, who left too early.
Then next Saturday we will go to another memorial service for an older person, who lived her life well and was ready to leave.
Each service will be a sad reminder that someday, we all will be ‘the one’ others will be coming for and I wonder, when it comes to be our time,
I pray and I hope we will leave a legacy that others will remember for many years after.
A good and positive legacy, of life, and love and hope and faith shared.
I will always remember our friend. Her beauty, her faith, her courageous smile.
She was beautiful.