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It’s hard for me to believe

It’s hard for me to believe I have not written in a few weeks.
Life has been crazy busy with getting ready to move and packing boxes and going through old ‘memories’.
I will return with good words and thoughts as soon as I get settled and the boxes are unpacked.
Many things have been looked at, gone through and removed.
I am able to say, “take it away”, without a lot of regret.
It is a good feeling but we are still taking too much and in time I will go through it all one more time.
Moving has been an exercise of discipline and also determination.
It has been very hard and very fast.
Our house sold in three weeks then we had fourteen days to find another one.
We found a small one and it will work well for us.
Single level, no stairs, in a senior community.
Not the one we originally wanted but it will be fine and a good fit we hope.
So much will change, so much will be different and new.
New is ok. It is good to shake the comfort zone sometimes.
I am a creature of familiar things and I really don’t like change.
So this will be a journey of many levels. Grief included.
Saying good bye to our community, our neighbors and familiar stores.
It will be hard, and very stretching. My cats are even a bit disturbed.
If you pray we could use some right now. The days are often filled with overwhelm.
Where do I start and where do I stop and how is it ever going to be done?
Change is good.

For I know the plans for you

“For I know the plans for you” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
In those days when you pray, I will listen.
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you.” says the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11
This verse has been a key for me during the last few weeks preparing to move from one home to another.
It is a trust issue, and a believing that ‘all things will work for good.’
I like the promise that say’s, “if you pray, I will listen”… but there is condition, it has to be from the heart.
He knows when we are sincere and when we are not.
Just as a parent knows when their child is telling us something that is not true.
It is a discerning moment of truth or ‘not’, confess to me or there is going to be a consequence.
I know when our kids were growing up I could always tell, I have a sense of discernment and could know if something was not true.
I cling to the promise that God knows a head of us, what is going to happen.
He is in the planning and the preparing and we only need to be still and wait on him.
Is it easy? nope but it is necessary.
He knows what we need before we need it, we only need to wait and listen.
Is there something that you are wrestling with that has you praying and asking?
Is there an internal struggle and or anxiety about something?
It’s time to regroup and remember the promises HE has given us.
Also I think it’s a good thing to humble ourselves and lean into what we do not fully know.
God has plans for us we only need to trust and wait. Do we know the final outcome? Nope
Shall we encourage each other in this ‘process?’
Yes we shall. Always be encouraging and always challenging ourselves to trust with our whole hearts.
Let us pray:
Father God you have shared with us that you know the plans for our lives.
You do not want us to go through hard times, you want us safe and secure.
Yet should we find ourselves in the middle of hard times, you are with us.
So as we gather ourselves for this new awareness of your truth; protect us, listen to us and walk alongside us.
Help us to fully know and understand we are not walking this road alone.
Thank you Lord, Amen

Plans are moving at a very rapid pace

Plans are moving at a very rapid pace, changes are taking place and attachmenets of the heart are being challenged in every direction.
I do not do change well. When I put roots down I want them to be deep and strong.
Our house has sold and we had 14 days to find suitable housing for us.
We purchased a small two bedroom, two bathroom home that is quaint and cozy, with an over size single garage.
The more space you have the more you fill it; so this should be a great little simplified home.
It is in a different town than ours, maybe that is good. I am not sure yet.
This is a senior community but not the one we originally wanted.
We prayed, we searched, we talked, we waited, and we found one.
The first three homes we really liked we were not allowed to purchase for some reason or other.
Mostly we got bumped off with a cash buyer. The real estate market is a very tricky one these days.
This is not a fancy home, built in1973 they have remodeled it and it is a place that is comfortable.
The next ten weeks will be busy, we will be packing and packing and packing.
We have a double size garage that has to be cleaned out enough to fit into a single size.
There will be many changes but we are not leaving our church. We have friends we are not leaving.
Our grandchildren will get used to it, once they know it’s our home.
The couple who bought ours are young, first time buyers.
That is exciting for them. I think it will be a great house for a young potential family.
I don’t know if they have children or not but the yard is perfect for them, fully fenced.
I am not yet ready for my heart to catch up with the news.
When we first moved into this home I didn’t really like it.
As the years have come and gone it holds many memories both good and bad.
All of our grandchildren know this as ‘our home’…grandma and grandpa’s.
I guess we will all adjust.
Even my kitties are pretty disturbed with all the new behavior we are showing as we are coming and going a lot more.
It will settle in time. It will feel like home eventually, I will be ok in time.
For now there are many changes for our lives as we move through this process.
If you pray send one up for us, we need all the help we can get.
During the final move we are hiring a moving company, they are efficient and fast since they are most likely young and able to do the work.
Keep us in your prayers we need it.

The decision to put our house up for sale

The decision to put our house up for sale was not an easy one for us.
In our hearts we know it’s the right thing to do, but emotionally it is hard.
We have lived here over 23 years and I have roots here, in this house and in this town.
Our grand children have known this home as ours. The place where they come and hang out.
Grandma and grandpa’s place. The yard with the tree one can climb or the landing at the top of the stairs where they sit and share stories.
The stairs are the main reason we need to leave, they are steep and they are a hazard as we grow older, no one needs a broken hip or leg. Falling is not a choice.
The new place wherever it may be; will have a single story layout.
I am looking forward to something new and fresh and yet at the same time I am sentimental and don’t want to leave this home.
We know our neighbors and told them about our plans; of course they don’t want us to leave.
Life is often a series of choices. As we get older it becomes more difficult as we settle into our comfort zones. Our places of peace.
We have looked at other houses and neighborhoods and none have felt ‘like home to us.’
There is one little community we had an offer on a condo and it was denied because our house was not sold yet. We like that 55+ community and the builder; and it is becoming our first choice.
So the decision would have to be prayed over, talked through and decided as a firm plan.
I love our home and I also trust in this process. We cannot be overwhelmed or exhausted.
The journey is one we are not taking lightly nor are we rushing out to purchase something just because we think we need to.
In the right time it will happen we just have to keep trusting, praying and waiting.

Finding things as I pack and unpack is exciting

Finding things as I pack and unpack is exciting for I am often amazed at things I have stored and missed.
Years ago in the year 1995 my husband and a team of ‘workers’ went to Mexico with young teenagers.
They went to build a house for a family, which actually was the size of a small storage shed in our way of living.
They drove and it was a much planned trip so there was little free time.
After many months I presented the team with a prayer.
This was actually the beginning of my many writings and the beginning of my ‘finding my gift’.
David the leader of the group who was going with my husband said, “you have a gift and YOU do need to use it.”
I miss him. He was killed a few years ago with his wife in a tragic car/bike accident. I would love to talk to him again.

The prayer: David read to the Mexico team
Day 6 March 23, 1995
Lord, our hearts are heavy today.
Just a short time ago we had this trip as a vision
A dream
An idea
And now we pack to leave we must say good bye – to go home.
You have brought us to this place for a reason – maybe many.
We have grown –
We have learned about the people around us – about each other and even about ourselves.
We have been challenged
Physically at times, spiritually – YES!!
And even emotionally.
Help us, Lord
To not forget the lessons we have learned.
The memory of this place.
Impress it upon our hearts
Help us to go home and let this not become just a story to share –
But let it be a story from our heart
It was from You –
Through You –
By You –
The reason we are here.
Yes, we worked hard.
We dreamed, we prayed – we sought out the resources, but it is only because You blessed it
That we are here.
We are torn, Lord –
We want to stay, to minister, to play, to reach out to those around us.
And we want to return – to families, showers and our own beds.
Lord, impress upon us as we leave that we have done all this, not through ourselves, but through you.
You have been here.
You have struggled with us.
We have learned so much.
Give us the desire now to leave with gladness of heart – knowing that someone’s life has been changed because we were here.
That is did matter – to one –
Guide us safely home.
May we find rest and peace.
Thank you Lord, for all that you have done this week – this trip – this moment.
In the blessed, Protective, Name of Jesus.
Amen
[It was the beginning of my writing.
Raw and received well.]

In the middle of a potential move

In the middle of a potential move; I am both challenged and excited.
When you are packing and organizing and getting things cleaned out, you find out how messy you really are.
For example, dusting is not high on my list. I will vacuum and dust around things but to actually remove things and really dust, it doesn’t happen often.
So as we stir the dust around while moving things I see how very much I need a house keeper or in the very least a good schedule for cleaning.
We have our hearts set on one home but it is an estate and if our house does not sell, we will miss the opportunity to get it.
That will be so disappointing, so we are feeling hopeful and trusting in this process as much as possible.
Boxes are arranged to look good even in the middle of ‘storage’ and containment setting.
I have rearranged bits of each room to look better than it did.
We get used to the ‘casual lived in look’ and only until something like this takes place, where we really clean then we realize how little effort we make to keep it nice.
Our home is not dirty. It is not overly cluttered. I have collections and items that need to be maybe moved out.
We try to do the ‘like it or love it’ decision or is it sentimental and we must keep it.
After 45 years of marriage we have stored and carried many things.
Each move was one of ‘let’s take it and store it till that someday’ when we will finally go through it.
For example my grandparents gave me a hope chest for my high school graduation.
It is pretty and I like it, but I have not opened it for probably 30 years. I have no idea what is in it.
I have a roll top desk that is the same way, it gets cleaned out about every 4 or 5 years. I can’t tell you what is in it.
Moving is a way to start over, start new and fresh and if we get the home we like it is going to be very nice and needing nothing.
I am trusting in this process and change, pray with us for this to happen.