My recent experience with the medical system, was a lesson and a new awareness.
First of all, with all the virus stuff around there are a lot of questions that are being asked before they see you.
Do you feel nauseated, do you have a fever, do you test positive for covid? do you have chills, so many questions.
I said to the provider, NO I think I have bronchitis and I need an antibiotic.
The first discussion was in my chart, the provider said, if it is bronchial that is bacterial and won’t respond to antibiotics.
Now I have to say, there are very few of them that I can take without getting secondary issues like hives all over my body.
So, there is one called Azithromycin or Z-pac, I have had it many times and it helps.
I finally decided to go to immediate care and see what they would tell me.
The provider listened to me. Really listened.
I said, “I am using my inhaler, I am using homeopathic cold and calm tabs. I just feel I need something a bit stronger.”
This provider actually LISTENED, and I felt validated and heard. That’s a big win.
I was told I might not need to fill a prescription, but I could have one anyway.
YES, the only way this will go away is to treat it.
I have had it many times and I know how I respond.
My lungs were clear, ears are fine, the doctor just diagnosed me having bronchitis, which I already knew.
So, I left the clinic feeling heard, and carrying my paper RX to drop off at the pharmacy.
I am not a drug seeker, when I worked at the pharmacy there were many calls for ‘drug’ choices.
I am not doing that; I just want to feel better and needed to get what I needed.
I am old enough to remember the old-time doctor who actually knew you and your family.
Those days are gone now.
It is not the same. Masks, face shields, and distance is what it is all about now.
How sad, what a world we have become, less personal and more ‘fearful of being sued’.
My recent experience with the medical system, was a lesson and a new awareness of many things.
My recent experience with the medical system, was a lesson and a new awareness.
The beach is our happy place. Although my husband loves to go to central Oregon too.
Every Thursday he goes down to a camp at the coast to help do maintenance it is a kind of relaxing workday for him.
We used to live closer, then we moved thirty minutes more from the drive, so it adds a little bit longer.
I often go with him. It is peaceful and relaxing but today it was not a good choice.
When they have kid’s camps there, I am very limited as to where I can walk or hang out.
For safety reasons and for camp rules.
When we take our trailer, it is easy for me to set up a chair and read or do whatever outside the trailer.
Up on the hill stands three crosses, because it’s a Christian camp.
There is a bench, and I told my husband when the time comes for me to leave here,
I want to be scattered near the bench so anyone can sit and remember me while watching the ocean.
I remember one day walking on the beach with our little granddaughter who was almost 3 maybe 4, we were talking, and she was picking up shells.
Then all of a sudden, she looked up and said, “OH MY GOSH, three people died.”
It was quite the funny moment for sure.
I was remembering when an accident happens sometimes there is a cross left on the side of the road, and I guess she thought three people died up there.
You just have to laugh at these little kids, they can be really funny. And it became a time for teaching the truth of the cross to her.
I will always love the beach. It is relaxing, and centering for my spirit.
The beach is our happy place.
Where do you like to go for a favorite ‘relaxing’ spot?
Another month is flying by us and my goodness it seems like time is moving fast.
The end of June and soon the fourth of July and activities like picnics and watermelon will be on the calendar.
We had graduation parties and watched as the 18-year old’s moved out of ‘teen years’ to adult hood.
One of our granddaughter’s actually said, “I’m an adult now.”
Yep, and the responsibility to do right is very present.
These young adults are amazing. I am so proud of who they have become.
Grandpa and grandma couldn’t even imagine it when we were holding those tiny little ones.
The future is theirs and they all have very different plans.
I think it is awesome.
When I was that age, I was ending high school and planning a wedding.
It will be really exciting to see what all takes place in the new season of college for all of them.
Moving away and living in a changed [world] will take some adjusting.
I think they will be just fine.
Life is pretty good right now. I have little to complain about.
Oh, some pains that come with growing older, follow me throughout the weeks.
I am working on the solution. Just sometimes hard to manage.
I have a high pain tolerance so when I am complaining, it is real and uncomfortable.
I always tell myself it could always be worse.
The cooler weather has changed into hot.
Not like last year when we had 116 scorching days, and we don’t have the fires.
But it has been in the 90’s, today is only 70 something and I am enjoying it.
By nature, I am a fall person.
I do have summer clothes and sandles but give me warm pants and a sweater any day, for comfort.
That’s probably why I live in the pacific northwest, the weather is mostly cool and comfortable.
Another month is flying by us, and time will tell how it all takes place for these young graduates.
Remembering a sister.
June 8th, 2019 my sister passed away.
She was the middle sister, and she had many strikes against her from day one.
When I heard about her death I could not let myself feel it.
We had just moved to a new home leaving our old one after 35 plus years.
We finalized the paper work in April and it was a lot of adjusting to a new place and new neighbors.
She passed away in June and life changed forever.
The year ended with a diagnosis of breast cancer for me, which led to surgery and radiation.
Still not really processing all the stress and changes that stirred within me.
Then quarantine arrived and changes took place again.
There was no closure between us when she died.
It was a difficult time of her sickness and the ability to visit with her wasn’t possible.
We had some really good memories throughout the years and I will hold on to those in my heart.
I know we helped her stay alive much longer than she should have..
She was on hospice in 2006 for the first time and she was very near death.
It was a rough season for us, my husband and I and my other sister and her husband worked around the clock.
Keeping her alive.
When you work with an alcoholic the only thing on their minds is ‘where is my drink?’
It did not matter if she shouldn’t have it, in fact part of her ‘prescription’ was a glass of alcohol.
It is not a good thing to totally take away the ‘drug’ choice when working with an addict.
It has to be monitored and carefully given especially in the amount that she was consuming.
She was able to live in an assisted living center and it helped her to stay stable, although she would often find someone to give her a bottle sometimes.
I’m not exactly sure what she died of, I am guessing her liver finally gave up.
She had Copd from years of smoking, she had serious health issues but still managed to defy death many times.’
I used to tease her about the ever ready battery she plugged into at night.
She had a life that was wild and crazy and she ‘danced’ to her own drumbeat throughout out the years.
Never did she fit into the ‘normal’ way, she tried, her husband tried with her.
But in the end her ‘wild’ ways won.
Today I remember a sister who was just little over a year older than me.
I will remember good times and her laughter and her humor and allow myself to grieve.
Who she was as a sister, and friend.
Sometimes there are no words.
When I think of the events in the last few weeks and the devastating deaths in many states.
It is hard to know what to say. How to process. What to do.
The latest where little children inside a school were shot down with no warning.
I see the sorrow on the news, and I can hardly deal with the incredible sorrow.
What is happening? I do think and agree with many who say the home has been the reason.
When the homes, and society as a whole, give minimal consequences.
This will continue.
It has continued over and over, and it is not the fault of the guns or the weapons of choice.
In my opinion it is a heart issue.
Years ago, there was a fear of authority, and the discipline was swift and firm.
I don’t have much to say about all this.
Words are not adequate to use when this type of thing happens.
We weep with those who weep. We pray with those who pray.
We hold our loved ones a little closer in our hearts just because.
I cannot imagine what took place on that day or any other day these things have taken place.
I cannot imagine the fear, the terror, the horrific scenes, it is too much.
The emergency vehicles and the workers, trauma scenes filling their days.
The police trying to figure it all out when there is chaos and tragic circumstances.
Someone made the choice to hurt and wound and kill just because opportunity let him.
I pray for the families who are broken and in deep grief.
I pray for the teachers who are left behind.
I pray for the city who is broken.
The Friday word prompt that was given this week was HEAL.
Is it possible to heal after something like this?
Weeping and wailing like Rachel in the Old Testament who wept for her children.
Someday the word HEAL will be back in the lives of those left behind.
But not now. Not any time in the future.
It is too hard. Too raw and too intense.
Sometimes there are no words and that is the reason why silence is important.
(I’m not sure where I found the heart, but it is appropriate for this writing,)
As the months move by so quickly, we soon will see spring leaving and summer arriving.
I welcome the warmer days, NOT hot days just comfortable warm.
Normally, I love to wear sweatpants and soft sweater type tops.
I am a fall person. The cool air is refreshing to me.
This summer I hope to be able to wear tank tops and summer pants.
I live in Oregon, and it is not often weather of our choice.
Then this month we have graduating grandchildren.
Twin granddaughters and one grandson.
They are 18 now or almost, driving and becoming young adults.
It is exciting to see their future but also scary.
Two of them just had potentially major car wrecks where the cars were totaled.
God spared them.
It was a scary phone call to receive when one is listening to a very upset driver.
Both could have been very hurt. Both were saved.
In a moment, in a very quick moment everything can change.
Our oldest granddaughter has a birthday this month too.
She will be 23, then the three who are 18 and then we have one grandson who is 14 and one who is 11.
This grandma is standing back and watching them all grow so fast.
It’s quite amazing and I am so proud of all of them.
Being a grandparent is a special kind of honor.
I feel I am a cheerleader, an encourager, a prayer warrior and believer in who they are becoming.
The three who are 18 are thinking of college and that is a natural thing to do.
But hard on the parents.
It’s all a part of the process of growing up.
When I was 18, I got married.
Very young and very not sure how to do it.
My mom at the time decided I needed to move out at 18 so my ‘then’ boyfriend and I got married.
He was 19. (We have been married now 48 years)
I would never expect that any of my grandchildren to move out just because they were 18.
They need time to decide a direction in life.
It worked out for us.
As the months move by so quickly, we will soon see summer.
The last writing I did, was about the Easter story and how it all played out for Jesus.
The intensity of the days, the ‘friends’ of his who deserted him when he needed them the most.
Yes, even the Son of God needed those who he cared for to sit with him and pray with him.
It’s a common thing in our group of friends to say, “hey can you pray for this?”
Jesus wanted them to be with him, in the ‘depth’ of the moments.
I also think it was really interesting when he came out of the grave, spoke to Mary, who HE knew and loved.
Then he didn’t allow her to recognize him until it was the right time in her ‘heart’ to receive.
Also when he was walking down the road with a few guys who were talking about the ‘scenes’ and they didn’t know who he was.
UNTIL he felt the moment was right to reveal himself to them.
Later they said, “were not our hearts burning when he spoke to us?”
It is in the knowing and the recognizing… He didn’t force the truth of who he was.
But HE did reveal it over and over.
Jesus knew they all had to experience HIM being alive to believe.
He showed them, especially Thomas who said he would not believe unless he felt the wounds.
Jesus addressed that with him.
I imagine when it was all over, they had to return to their old ways one more time.
Peter was fishing, for HE was a fisherman. The others returned to their ‘jobs’ or homes.
It was upsetting and disturbing and they all didn’t really know what to do with all that had happened.
Jesus confronted when HE needed to, and gave compassion when that was needed too.
Mary was the best example of that.
He saw her and had compassion for she was in terrible grief.
Only Jesus could help her in that sorrow.
I think the most that we can walk away with in the story of the cross, is the fact that Jesus truly loved us.
So much that HE gave, chose, relinquished himself, even though HE could have stopped it all.
It is a story that is true, and it is a story of healing.
The last writing I did was about Easter and we understand now what took place in that season of time.
Sorrow can often be our reality of choices and the consequences to follow.
4-16 When it was time, he sat down, all the apostles with him, and said, “You’ve no idea how much I have looked forward to eating this Passover meal with you before I enter my time of suffering. It’s the last one I’ll eat until we all eat it together in the kingdom of God.”
17-18 Taking the cup, he blessed it, then said, “Take this and pass it among you.
As for me, I’ll not drink wine again until the kingdom of God arrives.”
19 Taking bread, he blessed it, broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, given for you. Eat it in my memory.”
20 He did the same with the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant written in my blood, blood poured out for you.
21-22 “Do you realize that the hand of the one who is betraying me is at this moment on this table?
It’s true that the Son of Man is going down a path already marked out—no surprises there.
But for the one who turns him in, turns traitor to the Son of Man, this is doomsday.”
23 They immediately became suspicious of each other and began quizzing one another, wondering who might be about to do this.
(Remember, Jesus KNEW it would be Judas) but he washed his feet too.
I can’t imagine the emotions of Jesus.
Knowing what was ahead of him. Understanding the separation of those who followed and loved him, yet soon to be denying any of it.
We will do many things to save ourselves. Including denying what we know in our hearts.
Peter thought HE would NEVER deny Jesus.
33 Peter said, “Master, I’m ready for anything with you. I’d go to jail for you. I’d die for you!”
34 Jesus said, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Peter, but before the rooster crows you will have three times denied that you know me.”
54-56 Arresting Jesus, they marched him off and took him into the house of the Chief Priest. Peter followed, but at a safe distance.
In the middle of the courtyard some people had started a fire and were sitting around it, trying to keep warm. One of the serving maids sitting at the fire noticed him, then took a second look and said, “This man was with him!”
57 He denied it, “Woman, I don’t even know him.”
58 A short time later, someone else noticed him and said, “You’re one of them.”
But Peter denied it: “Man, I am not.”
59 About an hour later, someone else spoke up, really adamant: “He’s got to have been with him! He’s got ‘Galilean’ written all over him.”
60-62 Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
At that very moment, the last word hardly off his lips, a rooster crowed. Just then, the Master turned and looked at Peter.
Peter remembered what the Master had said to him: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
He went out and cried and cried and cried.
Sorrow can often be our reality of choices and the consequences to follow.
This week has great meaning for many Christians who will go to church and celebrate Easter.
It is a serious week. This would be considered a quiet Wednesday, before it all begins.
Jesus understood and knew the magnitude of this time for him.
Just as when he was a little baby being born, laboring and struggling through the process of life.
This time he is laboring and struggling around his death.
He knew it was a difficult death in fact in the garden he even pleaded with God, Father, “is there any other way?”
I can’t imagine him walking the pathways of crosses with those who had been there before him.
I can’t imagine the heart wrenching reality of all that would take place.
Not only in the physical but the emotional too.
When he needed others to be with him, they moved to safety.
When he needed others to sit and pray, they fell asleep.
It was a struggle as he worked through these final moments for him.
He knew it had to take place for the ‘story’ to fulfill all that was written.
He knew… HE was there from the beginning and now HE will be there to the end.
Nothing was a surprise.
But oh, the agony, the abandonment, the weight of so much on his shoulders.
The week would go up and down with many emotions and through it all we know HE will win.
But the process had to take place.
Just as the journey to Bethlehem for Mary and Joseph, before birth, was long and scary and difficult.
The journey of the cross is not much different.
I would not personally want to be there.
When I was younger there used to be a song that asked, “were you there when they crucified my Lord?”
No, I would not want to be. I want warm fuzzy moments not crucifixion pain and agony scenes.
Every player had a part to finish this part of the story.
Just as in the birth of Jesus, the death of Jesus had players who did their jobs even if they didn’t know it fully.
This week has great meaning for many Christians.
A new month and a time of worship.
This is the season leading up to Easter.
In the Christian world many are doing a purposeful time of sabbath, a quiet moving towards the day.
When our children were little it all surrounded around the little ones, easter egg hunts were fun.
The decorations and fancy dresses or good shirts and pants were festive and nice.
The dinners with family and the time of celebrations were added into those moments.
Now we don’t have any little ones and I do enjoy the quiet moving towards, the season.
The story of Easter is hard, it is celebrations, and it is grief so intense no one can put words on it.
Palm Sunday the people were excited to see Jesus, they praised him and greeted him as he rode into town on a donkey.
Did you know that every donkey has a cross on its back into the fur? Interesting fact.
The time of celebrations were loud and as the movies show on tv very exciting and happy.
Then not even seven days later the mood changed, and the passion of Christ became more evident as he was put on a cross.
That had to be the most horrific way to die, and so much was hard, and confusing and grief intense.
The story is found in the New Testament.
It was written for us to remember, for us to understand, for us to grasp.
It was planned out just as Christmas and the birth of Jesus was, the death was planned too.
[For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish.]
It is all about choice, and belief and hope given.
Psalm Sunday was the festive beginning leading into the week of Easter.
We read the story and we sing the songs, but do we grasp within our hearts the intensity and the love?
A new month and a time of worship.