This is going to be a test.
I am having issues with my blog site and the current way it is posting my writing, so I am asking my readers, IF you receive this, please let me know.
It is quite frustrating, and I am not sure what to do with this new problem.
There is a lot I would like to write about, but I need to know if it is going anywhere other than an unknown cyberspace.
THIS will be a test. Thank you
Our little girl turns one.
Our great grandbaby is almost walking now and soon she will be the center of attention in a circle of people, and she won’t know why.
The party is mostly for mom and dad, and grandma and grandpas.
Little one will love it. She most likely will try her first taste of something sweet.
An Aunt is making cupcakes. Mommy reserved a part setting so people can come and mingle without being crowded.
We will take our trailer and go to the park when it’s time.
It really is a blessing to have these experiences and to be here for her.
I am excited. When I was going through my cancer recovery, I prayed that I could meet a great grandbaby.
AND here we both are, in this moment in time. Together.
I can’t show many pictures as my face book page was hacked, and I won’t go through that again.
But I will brag that she is the most amazing and cutest little person we have ever met.
We will be in the area for a few days then pack up and leave for home.
Our neighbor is watching out for the house and cats.
I am excited. Can you tell?
Little one waddles like a little penguin. She is brave when walking and so close to letting go.
It is a busy time for young parents. They have a lot to look forward to.
I do realize I am older now and my energy is not up to what a young mom would have.
It is ok. I can’t enjoy her and hold her while I am sitting down if she will let me.
Did I say she is a very busy little one?
She will be surrounded by so many who care for her.
She is BLESSED as we are to be with her.
Every moment I can be with her and see her joy and see her sweetness.
I will be there.
Our little one turns one.
And We will sing Happy Birthday and clap.
And I will probably shed a tear or two.
Our little one turns one.
To be a realist: you tend to be very emotional and extremely levelheaded.
No matter the situation you always are able to look at facts in order to make things run smoothly.
————-
I have had this in my phone for a long time because for most of my life I have had to look at facts and truth and be emotionally strong.
I also feel I am levelheaded in many areas for me to press forward and move on in my life.
To be a realist?
Yes, I feel it fits me on many levels.
Where I got this quote is a mystery. IT is not mine, but I am sharing it today.
————–
My dad once said, “you can’t finish if you never start it.”
This is very true, and I have tried to make this work with my writing.
If I don’t take the time to start, to think, to process the words and the meanings
what will I finish and how will it end?
————-
I took a test to see what career ‘you’ were actually meant for: It said YOU are a writer:
You have an unmatched skill for creating vast worlds both through facts and pure imagination.
Your mind is full of creativity, artistry, and expression.
Your heart gracefully guides your hands as you work to bring what is truly your spirit to life,
You were truly meant to guide the world with your words.
————–
Now I don’t think I was meant to guide the world with my words, but I can share words of encouragement,
I can let others work through their words and their process and encourage them.
I am always happy to see others succeed and I appreciate the time it takes to do it well.
Am I a realist?
I am not sure, but I can’t be fake, and I can’t be over judgmental, and I just don’t have it within me to argue or fight.
Maybe I am a realist. I see the world with discerning eyes and sometimes it hurts and saddens me greatly.
To be a realist: you tend to be very emotional and extremely levelheaded with a logical mind. 
Today the 24th is a very special day for our family,
Our first grand daughter was born, and we became grandparents.
She was expected to arrive in July but mom had health issues that were too serious to ignore.
Faith Elizabeth came into our lives weighing only 2 pounds 11 ounces. Seventeen inches long.
Tiny and a bundle of intensity.
We were in love the moment we saw her.
I remember the trips up to the hospital where the NICU rooms were.
You let them know you are there to see ‘your’ baby.
Then you wash your hands and be sure you were very clean upon entering the room.
Tiny little fighters lay in the incubators with warming units and oxygen and buzzers and bells.
It really is a place of miracles and also a place of sorrow.
Hopes that were once high and excited rest inside this room of healing.
I am in awe of the work that these nurses and doctors do with the tiniest ones.
Faith had to have an IV in her head where the vein is easier to find on one so small.
I happened to be there when they were removing it and she was so mad screaming and carrying on.
They pulled her hair and that made her mad and they held her still and that made her mad.
Grandma was in tears because it hurt my heart to see her upset.
Her stay there was only three weeks and then she came home.
Weighing only 3 pounds 9 ounces and one of the tiniest babies to go home.
She was strong and amazing and a precious miracle.
Today, 26 years ago we celebrate who she is and who God made her to be.
Happy Birthday Faith Elizabeth.
We love you and always pray that your life will be a testimony of God’s protective love.
Today the 24th is a very special day for our family.  ( The three sisters a few years ago. Yes, Faith and the twins.)
Years ago, when I entered into a season of therapy.
I was given at some point in the process of group time or maybe a gift from someone, a basket of words.
They are heart shaped and etched into the pottery stone.
The basket is broken.
Symbolic of what was to come in the days ahead of my ‘healing journey’.
I don’t remember if it always was that way but for me now
it represents the fragile and broken spirit I had when entering into the season of healing.
In the recovery group we were instructed to pick a word and then write about it in our journal books.
Giving voice to our ‘thoughts’ on paper so the feelings would not stay hidden deep inside ourselves.
For many survivors’ feelings stay hidden and silenced and the only way out of that season of silence is to move through it.
The only way out is through.
We were told that over and over.
The only way out is through.
You must move from the dark places inside to a lighter ‘healing place’ restoring your spirit and your broken wounded self-inside.
A broken leg cannot heal if one keeps walking on it, there must be a time for restoration and rest.
Then after a short time of ‘healing’ physical therapy begins so the bone can learn to accept the pressure.
Emotional healing is very much the same concept.
Restoring the broken wounded child and moving her into a strong voice of an adult.
A few nights ago, in the quiet of our room I woke up with the idea of writing the words as a blog post.
Each week one word would be written and focused on.
Exploring the meaning and the thoughts surrounding that word.
——————
When we are broken, we don’t see the potential for healing.
We only feel the brokenness deep inside ourselves.
(or we feel nothing at all)
We are not sure what to do with that internal mess.
so many times, those who enter into this journey go in with great resistance and fear because we don’t know or understand what it will look or feel like.
To find our voice and put words to it.
Our feelings get misunderstood and jumbled and we remain closed off from them because they feel foreign and new to us.
Those who have lived in difficult places or scenes cannot begin to believe when entering a season of healing that it won’t always feel ‘this way’.
A basket of words is a good tool to start when working with someone who is closed off and resistant.
Our group leaders were brilliant and caring and compassionate and wise, they were sensitive and gentle never pushing but always encouraging us to become stronger.
A basket of words is a good beginning
when the door to one’s heart and voice is closed.
Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us?
It was a question they asked themselves.
On the road walking to the village of Emmaus seven miles from Jerusalem.
A few of the men walked along, they were talking about everything that had happened.
As they talked and discussed these things, Jesus himself suddenly came and began walking with them.
But God kept them from recognizing him.
He asked them, “What are you discussing so intently as you walk along?”
They stopped short, with sadness written across their faces.
Then one of them said, “You must be the only person in Jerusalem who hasn’t heard about all the things that have happened there the last few days.”
Jesus asks, “What things?”
The things that happened to Jesus, the man from Nazareth.
He was a prophet who did powerful miracles and was a mighty teacher in the eyes of God and all the people.
But our leading priest and other leaders handed him over to be condemned to death, and they crucified him.
As they talked, he scolded them and then took them through the writing of Moses and all the prophets
explaining from all the scriptures the things concerning himself.
The night was ending, and they were heading home, and they offered him a chance to stay with them.
As they sat down to eat, he took the bread and blessed it.
Then he broke it and gave it to them.
Suddenly their eyes were opened, and they recognized him and at that moment he disappeared!
They said to each other, “Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?”
It’s a very good question for many different situations.
My husband and I were at Costco one day and an older man saw my husband’s logo on his shirt and asked about its meaning.
The more this little old man talked to us, the more I thought I should know him.
I listened intently.
Then I said, “Were you a Pastor at one time?”
Yes, HE was OUR Pastor over 35 years ago and I knew HIS VOICE.
I didn’t recognize him at first.
I knew the ‘burning within me’ that recognized him for who he had been.
Not the little old guy we shared with, but the Godly man who taught the word with power and giftedness.
The question is a very real one.
“Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us?”
Our Pastor friend was killed in an accident a few months later but I will never forget HIS VOICE and his gentleness.
And I will always be glad we were able to see him one more time and pray with him in the middle of Costco.
“Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us?” The question still haunts me a little bit.
It is Sunday. the day of the resurrection.
Mary went to the tomb with spices where Jesus was laid.
She knew that needed to be done and because of her love for him, she made the long walk.
Arriving there she noticed the stone was moved and the tomb was empty.
Weeping and wondering she didn’t understand where he could be?
There were angels there and they asked her, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?”
He is not here, he has risen.
She just wanted to know where he was so she could see with her eyes and believe in her heart.
Just tell me where they placed him, and I will go find it.
The angels said, “HE is not here”.
Sorrow was upon her heart and at one point the angels asked her why she was crying.
She said, “if you have taken him somewhere please let me know.”
At that time Jesus said to her, “Mary”.
She was startled and happy wanting to cling to him and hold onto him.
He said, NO don’t. It is not time.
And Mary went to tell the disciples all that she saw and heard so that they could go see and hear also.
Now we have to back up a bit because the only one who could say her name with great meaning was JESUS.
“Mary”… personal and unique and heart felt from Jesus.
Her name. When someone says your name. it is a reflection of relationship and honor.
“Mary”… the same voice that spoke to her out of her old way of living.
The same voice that healed her heart in the way that ONLY Jesus could do.
I wonder if HE knew that was the only way her heart would believe.
Hearing his voice one more time would be just what she needed.
That would be amazing when you think of how she understood him to be gone.
Then hope came to her.
“Mary”.
A miracle story and a proclamation from her, “I have seen the Lord.”
It is Sunday the day of the resurrection.
And they said to her, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?”
We are in the quiet time of Saturday. the day before the resurrection of Jesus.
They all knew there was a difference.
They saw and observed the horrific death of Jesus.
They observed the skies changing colors into deep darkness.
They knew something was taking place and even Jesus had told them it would happen.
Often, we go into denial when we are told news that our heart can’t take.
Listening but not taking it in emotionally.
I often think of Mary and Joseph.
Weeping and watching at the foot of the cross.
Any mother would be desperate to see her son not in pain or agony.
She knew he was different. She knew the prophecies were coming.
She was watching too.
I often think of Peter. Knowing he denied Jesus his friend, three times.
I often think of Judas. Knowing he betrayed Jesus, and his guilt was too much for him.
I often think of the disciples all watching, waiting and wondering.
I often think of Mary Magdalene, who found value and beauty through this Man called Jesus.
He believed in her and did not want her to go back to her old ways.
Now Jeus was in the tomb.
It was dark and the stone that was placed in front of it was just an example of the fears of the leaders.
Would he, could he, be able to move the stone?
The leaders felt for sure they made it difficult.
The quiet of Saturday was preparing all for the rejoiceful Sunday to come.
So much happened and so much to take in.
I would imagine the disciples talked among themselves about the times shared with him,
We often do that when someone we care for is no longer present in our lives.
We remember, we share, we find opportunity to honor that person who we cared for.
I wonder if they felt that too.
Oh, I wonder about even Jesus when on the cross he said, “FATHER” knowing HE was not seen or accepted.
The woundedness was horrible and the sorrow was deep.
There is so much I wonder about.
We are in the quiet time of Saturday the day before the resurrection of Jesus, and all would see the hope given to us soon..
The three days wait begins at the start of good Friday, leading into Sunday the resurrected Easter.
We are not told anything about Mary and how she responded, or even Joseph.
They knew the birth of Jesus was significant and miraculous and they also knew HE was called to be different.
No one is prepared for a death of a child, no matter how old they are in your life.
No one could imagine a cross, especially a parent who has watched their child grow and mature and do ministry that they tried to understand.
Mary knew he had abilities to perform miracles, she had been there, seeing it with her own eyes.
I cannot even begin to imagine the horror of seeing YOUR child, however old he is, in a chaotic violent crowd then ultimately killed.
The disciples disappeared fearing for their own lives.
The intensity of the cross was a familiar way of dying in those times, although JESUS was God and man he still suffered in His humanity.
Through the town they drug him as they brutally beat and yelled at him.
The cross was horrific in every sense and not one part of the body was ignored.
Pain and sorrow were hand in hand as the followers watched him hang there.
At noon the word tells us that Jesus called out a loud cry, “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?”
It was all a part of the original plan, but the isolation was so intense for him.
When he finally died the temple curtain in the sanctuary was torn from top to bottom.
Witnesses observed and said, “This truly was the son of God.”
Darkness covered the entire area in a very surreal way.
Those who were there knew something was very different.
Even the thieves on the crosses next to Jesus knew that he was unique and not like the others.
The man called Joseph of Arimathea was allowed to remove his body and prepare him for burial.
The two Mary’s watched and followed.
Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus.
The leaders were unsure of Jesus power, so they placed a very LARGE stone in front of the entrance of the tomb where they laid him.
Three days wait begins at the start of good Friday.
.
This week has great meaning for many Christians.
Churches will be full of visitors and others who make it a normal part of their week.
It is a serious week.
Soon we will experience the quiet Wednesday before everything begins to change.
Jesus understood and knew the magnitude of this time for him.
Just as when he was a little baby being born, laboring and struggling through the process of life.
This time he is laboring and struggling towards his death.
He knew it was a difficult death in fact in the garden he even pleaded with God, “Father, is there any other way?”
I can’t imagine him walking the pathways of crosses with those who had been placed there before him.
I can’t imagine the heart wrenching reality of all that would take place.
In the garden when he needed others to be with him, they moved to safety or even fell asleep.
It was a struggle as he worked through what was to come for him.
He knew it had to take place for the story to be fulfilled.
He was there from the beginning, and he knew he would be there to the end.
The middle part was the hardest.
Isn’t that kind of like life? The middle part is where it all happens then it’s soon over.
Nothing was a surprise for him.
The agony and the abandonment, the weight of so much on his shoulders, the week would be a multitude of emotions.
Through it all HE KNEW HE WOULD WIN.
But the process had to take place.
Just as the journey to Bethlehem for Mary and Joseph before birth was long and scary and often difficult.
The journey of the cross is not much different.
I would not want to be there.
When I was a little girl, I remember hearing the song, “were you there, when they crucified my Lord?”
NO, I would not want to be there. I want warm calm moments.
I cannot be around violent scenes or issues.
Every player in the journey to the cross had to play a part and be an important part of the plan.
They all had jobs to do even if they fully didn’t understand the role they played.
This week has great meaning for many Christians as we wait in the quiet.
Simplicity
my blog button
