So many changes are taking place.
Our three grandchildren are moved into college now and adjusting in little ways.
It’s nice because they all three are at the same campus and they can keep each other company.
It’s hard when you move away from home.
Your comfort zone is now a new one, your safe place must be established in the middle of college days and new people.
New rules or none are the norm now. Although when one is 18 the rules that work for an adult is what they have to pay attention to.
They are learning to manage daytime structure and how to navigate the expansive campus.
One has already changed her direction of study. The other two are doing the tasks to make it work.
I miss them a lot, but I know this is necessary for them to grow and become independent.
The weather is still nice and so far, they have had no difficult roads to navigate.
How are the parents doing? They are missing them.
It is a road of life for them. When I was their age, I got married.
None of them are ready for that. I am not saying we were either, but it was what everyone did in the 70’s.
We pray for them always. We try to encourage and keep an open wallet, if they need something.
They have no jobs at this point.
It is a major life change and how it all works out will be a wait and see for us adults waiting at home.
Soon fall will bring rain and the mountains will be harder to travel.
Thanksgiving and Christmas will be vacation times if they can come home.
I actually think this time of learning for them is good.
Becoming an adult is not easy and if you can do it together it is much easier for everyone.
They are becoming close cousins.
So many changes are happening in our lives, and we pray and turn our hearts to our loved ones.
So many changes are taking place.
I am waiting for autumn to arrive.
Fall foliage and crispy air, with sweaters and warm pants. My soul is peaceful in this setting.
Soon we will watch the trees change.
I read a message about how the trees teach us how to let go and right now we are feeling it.
Next week three of our grandchildren move from home and head to college.
Life changes for all of us. They are 18 and considered ‘adult’ but wow it is a big world out there.
I pray always for safety. I pray always for wisdom in their decision making. I pray for health.
It will be a change for sure to have them gone.
When I was 18, I graduated in June and got married in November.
I am not recommending that these days, but it worked for us.
One granddaughter thinks she wants to pursue a forestry program, one wants to be a writer, (they are twins).
Our grandson wants to pursue criminal justice and maybe law. It’s really hard to know what you want to do at this age.
Autumn is a time for change and a time for renewal and a time for school for many children to return to.
The leaves are always so beautiful and often times we get in our car and go for a drive to find the colors.
It is amazing. Not as defined as some states but we do have some beautiful valleys.
I am also waiting for the rain.
The parched land and rivers need it desperately we have had forest fires and without water it’s difficult.
The firefighters are doing their best to put out the fires by helicopters and by land.
It’s definitely a serious time and a time for rain to come and stay for a while.
I am waiting for autumn to arrive.
A vacation to remember happened a few weeks ago in the Central Oregon location.
We were camping in the Lapine State Park, and it was very hot the first day we arrived.
We found lunch in a town called Sisters which on a normal day is fun to explore.
It was so hot, and we were standing outside waiting for a lunch and I thought I was not going to make it.
I am not by nature a HOT weather fan and it was scorching.
I tried not to complain. I just wanted it cooler.
We did the best we could to make it through the first day after we set up our campsite.
The second day was a cooler day, and we were surprised by a storm or lightning, thunder, then rain and then hail.
It was glorious and I wanted to go outside. Of course, I did not.
We were concerned about the overhead windows in the trailer.
The rain was very hard and pounding sounding like rocks.
One trailer in the area had a tree fall down on it, the people were inside but not harmed.
The trailer was very big and very expensive and very much damaged.
We managed that day and night, and the next day was just a day for hanging out in the camp.
Then the following day we went to see Crater Lake.
I am a true Oregonian and I had NOT ever seen it in person, in real life.
I was NOT disappointed.
The weather was about 76-78 degrees, with a soft wind. It was beautiful.
So majestic one cannot even imagine the beauty.
I have not downloaded my photos yet off my phone but believe me, it was beautiful.
After that day we packed up and headed home.
The cats were ready for mom and dad to return, and I am always a home body.
Even though we had our trailer which is a home away from home.
Not the same as actually being HOME.
I will try to get a few pictures for this writing as I can figure it out.
A vacation to remember is always one for the memory books.
My recent experience with the medical system, was a lesson and a new awareness.
First of all, with all the virus stuff around there are a lot of questions that are being asked before they see you.
Do you feel nauseated, do you have a fever, do you test positive for covid? do you have chills, so many questions.
I said to the provider, NO I think I have bronchitis and I need an antibiotic.
The first discussion was in my chart, the provider said, if it is bronchial that is bacterial and won’t respond to antibiotics.
Now I have to say, there are very few of them that I can take without getting secondary issues like hives all over my body.
So, there is one called Azithromycin or Z-pac, I have had it many times and it helps.
I finally decided to go to immediate care and see what they would tell me.
The provider listened to me. Really listened.
I said, “I am using my inhaler, I am using homeopathic cold and calm tabs. I just feel I need something a bit stronger.”
This provider actually LISTENED, and I felt validated and heard. That’s a big win.
I was told I might not need to fill a prescription, but I could have one anyway.
YES, the only way this will go away is to treat it.
I have had it many times and I know how I respond.
My lungs were clear, ears are fine, the doctor just diagnosed me having bronchitis, which I already knew.
So, I left the clinic feeling heard, and carrying my paper RX to drop off at the pharmacy.
I am not a drug seeker, when I worked at the pharmacy there were many calls for ‘drug’ choices.
I am not doing that; I just want to feel better and needed to get what I needed.
I am old enough to remember the old-time doctor who actually knew you and your family.
Those days are gone now.
It is not the same. Masks, face shields, and distance is what it is all about now.
How sad, what a world we have become, less personal and more ‘fearful of being sued’.
My recent experience with the medical system, was a lesson and a new awareness of many things.
The beach is our happy place. Although my husband loves to go to central Oregon too.
Every Thursday he goes down to a camp at the coast to help do maintenance it is a kind of relaxing workday for him.
We used to live closer, then we moved thirty minutes more from the drive, so it adds a little bit longer.
I often go with him. It is peaceful and relaxing but today it was not a good choice.
When they have kid’s camps there, I am very limited as to where I can walk or hang out.
For safety reasons and for camp rules.
When we take our trailer, it is easy for me to set up a chair and read or do whatever outside the trailer.
Up on the hill stands three crosses, because it’s a Christian camp.
There is a bench, and I told my husband when the time comes for me to leave here,
I want to be scattered near the bench so anyone can sit and remember me while watching the ocean.
I remember one day walking on the beach with our little granddaughter who was almost 3 maybe 4, we were talking, and she was picking up shells.
Then all of a sudden, she looked up and said, “OH MY GOSH, three people died.”
It was quite the funny moment for sure.
I was remembering when an accident happens sometimes there is a cross left on the side of the road, and I guess she thought three people died up there.
You just have to laugh at these little kids, they can be really funny. And it became a time for teaching the truth of the cross to her.
I will always love the beach. It is relaxing, and centering for my spirit.
The beach is our happy place.
Where do you like to go for a favorite ‘relaxing’ spot?
Another month is flying by us and my goodness it seems like time is moving fast.
The end of June and soon the fourth of July and activities like picnics and watermelon will be on the calendar.
We had graduation parties and watched as the 18-year old’s moved out of ‘teen years’ to adult hood.
One of our granddaughter’s actually said, “I’m an adult now.”
Yep, and the responsibility to do right is very present.
These young adults are amazing. I am so proud of who they have become.
Grandpa and grandma couldn’t even imagine it when we were holding those tiny little ones.
The future is theirs and they all have very different plans.
I think it is awesome.
When I was that age, I was ending high school and planning a wedding.
It will be really exciting to see what all takes place in the new season of college for all of them.
Moving away and living in a changed [world] will take some adjusting.
I think they will be just fine.
Life is pretty good right now. I have little to complain about.
Oh, some pains that come with growing older, follow me throughout the weeks.
I am working on the solution. Just sometimes hard to manage.
I have a high pain tolerance so when I am complaining, it is real and uncomfortable.
I always tell myself it could always be worse.
The cooler weather has changed into hot.
Not like last year when we had 116 scorching days, and we don’t have the fires.
But it has been in the 90’s, today is only 70 something and I am enjoying it.
By nature, I am a fall person.
I do have summer clothes and sandles but give me warm pants and a sweater any day, for comfort.
That’s probably why I live in the pacific northwest, the weather is mostly cool and comfortable.
Another month is flying by us, and time will tell how it all takes place for these young graduates.
Remembering a sister.
June 8th, 2019 my sister passed away.
She was the middle sister, and she had many strikes against her from day one.
When I heard about her death I could not let myself feel it.
We had just moved to a new home leaving our old one after 35 plus years.
We finalized the paper work in April and it was a lot of adjusting to a new place and new neighbors.
She passed away in June and life changed forever.
The year ended with a diagnosis of breast cancer for me, which led to surgery and radiation.
Still not really processing all the stress and changes that stirred within me.
Then quarantine arrived and changes took place again.
There was no closure between us when she died.
It was a difficult time of her sickness and the ability to visit with her wasn’t possible.
We had some really good memories throughout the years and I will hold on to those in my heart.
I know we helped her stay alive much longer than she should have..
She was on hospice in 2006 for the first time and she was very near death.
It was a rough season for us, my husband and I and my other sister and her husband worked around the clock.
Keeping her alive.
When you work with an alcoholic the only thing on their minds is ‘where is my drink?’
It did not matter if she shouldn’t have it, in fact part of her ‘prescription’ was a glass of alcohol.
It is not a good thing to totally take away the ‘drug’ choice when working with an addict.
It has to be monitored and carefully given especially in the amount that she was consuming.
She was able to live in an assisted living center and it helped her to stay stable, although she would often find someone to give her a bottle sometimes.
I’m not exactly sure what she died of, I am guessing her liver finally gave up.
She had Copd from years of smoking, she had serious health issues but still managed to defy death many times.’
I used to tease her about the ever ready battery she plugged into at night.
She had a life that was wild and crazy and she ‘danced’ to her own drumbeat throughout out the years.
Never did she fit into the ‘normal’ way, she tried, her husband tried with her.
But in the end her ‘wild’ ways won.
Today I remember a sister who was just little over a year older than me.
I will remember good times and her laughter and her humor and allow myself to grieve.
Who she was as a sister, and friend.
Sometimes there are no words.
When I think of the events in the last few weeks and the devastating deaths in many states.
It is hard to know what to say. How to process. What to do.
The latest where little children inside a school were shot down with no warning.
I see the sorrow on the news, and I can hardly deal with the incredible sorrow.
What is happening? I do think and agree with many who say the home has been the reason.
When the homes, and society as a whole, give minimal consequences.
This will continue.
It has continued over and over, and it is not the fault of the guns or the weapons of choice.
In my opinion it is a heart issue.
Years ago, there was a fear of authority, and the discipline was swift and firm.
I don’t have much to say about all this.
Words are not adequate to use when this type of thing happens.
We weep with those who weep. We pray with those who pray.
We hold our loved ones a little closer in our hearts just because.
I cannot imagine what took place on that day or any other day these things have taken place.
I cannot imagine the fear, the terror, the horrific scenes, it is too much.
The emergency vehicles and the workers, trauma scenes filling their days.
The police trying to figure it all out when there is chaos and tragic circumstances.
Someone made the choice to hurt and wound and kill just because opportunity let him.
I pray for the families who are broken and in deep grief.
I pray for the teachers who are left behind.
I pray for the city who is broken.
The Friday word prompt that was given this week was HEAL.
Is it possible to heal after something like this?
Weeping and wailing like Rachel in the Old Testament who wept for her children.
Someday the word HEAL will be back in the lives of those left behind.
But not now. Not any time in the future.
It is too hard. Too raw and too intense.
Sometimes there are no words and that is the reason why silence is important.
(I’m not sure where I found the heart, but it is appropriate for this writing,)
As the months move by so quickly, we soon will see spring leaving and summer arriving.
I welcome the warmer days, NOT hot days just comfortable warm.
Normally, I love to wear sweatpants and soft sweater type tops.
I am a fall person. The cool air is refreshing to me.
This summer I hope to be able to wear tank tops and summer pants.
I live in Oregon, and it is not often weather of our choice.
Then this month we have graduating grandchildren.
Twin granddaughters and one grandson.
They are 18 now or almost, driving and becoming young adults.
It is exciting to see their future but also scary.
Two of them just had potentially major car wrecks where the cars were totaled.
God spared them.
It was a scary phone call to receive when one is listening to a very upset driver.
Both could have been very hurt. Both were saved.
In a moment, in a very quick moment everything can change.
Our oldest granddaughter has a birthday this month too.
She will be 23, then the three who are 18 and then we have one grandson who is 14 and one who is 11.
This grandma is standing back and watching them all grow so fast.
It’s quite amazing and I am so proud of all of them.
Being a grandparent is a special kind of honor.
I feel I am a cheerleader, an encourager, a prayer warrior and believer in who they are becoming.
The three who are 18 are thinking of college and that is a natural thing to do.
But hard on the parents.
It’s all a part of the process of growing up.
When I was 18, I got married.
Very young and very not sure how to do it.
My mom at the time decided I needed to move out at 18 so my ‘then’ boyfriend and I got married.
He was 19. (We have been married now 48 years)
I would never expect that any of my grandchildren to move out just because they were 18.
They need time to decide a direction in life.
It worked out for us.
As the months move by so quickly, we will soon see summer.
The last writing I did, was about the Easter story and how it all played out for Jesus.
The intensity of the days, the ‘friends’ of his who deserted him when he needed them the most.
Yes, even the Son of God needed those who he cared for to sit with him and pray with him.
It’s a common thing in our group of friends to say, “hey can you pray for this?”
Jesus wanted them to be with him, in the ‘depth’ of the moments.
I also think it was really interesting when he came out of the grave, spoke to Mary, who HE knew and loved.
Then he didn’t allow her to recognize him until it was the right time in her ‘heart’ to receive.
Also when he was walking down the road with a few guys who were talking about the ‘scenes’ and they didn’t know who he was.
UNTIL he felt the moment was right to reveal himself to them.
Later they said, “were not our hearts burning when he spoke to us?”
It is in the knowing and the recognizing… He didn’t force the truth of who he was.
But HE did reveal it over and over.
Jesus knew they all had to experience HIM being alive to believe.
He showed them, especially Thomas who said he would not believe unless he felt the wounds.
Jesus addressed that with him.
I imagine when it was all over, they had to return to their old ways one more time.
Peter was fishing, for HE was a fisherman. The others returned to their ‘jobs’ or homes.
It was upsetting and disturbing and they all didn’t really know what to do with all that had happened.
Jesus confronted when HE needed to, and gave compassion when that was needed too.
Mary was the best example of that.
He saw her and had compassion for she was in terrible grief.
Only Jesus could help her in that sorrow.
I think the most that we can walk away with in the story of the cross, is the fact that Jesus truly loved us.
So much that HE gave, chose, relinquished himself, even though HE could have stopped it all.
It is a story that is true, and it is a story of healing.
The last writing I did was about Easter and we understand now what took place in that season of time.