by Sharon O | Aug 1, 2014 | Uncategorized
I was asked to participate in a blog hop by a blogger friend.
She wrote her ‘questions’ out and then introduced my blog.
http://jeanniepallett.com/writing-questions-blog-hop
Part of the blog hop included a series of questions for me to answer about my own blog.
So I will attempt to answer in the best way possible.
1. What am I writing or working on?
For the last few months I have been centering into a more firm writing theme, beginning with a basket full of words as as starting point.
Each word represented itself etched on a clay heart.
I laid them out and began to form a series of words from the beginning point to an ending point, (which hasn’t happened yet) in reference to the recovery process.
I began with one word, discovered it’s full meaning and then wrote about it in full detail.
My goal was to have them follow a logical sequence that would make sense to the reader and anyone following the process with me.
It has been a good and wonderful way to write.
Focused and similar so that my blog is not jumping around with a variety of topics.
My other theme has been sharing my grief and loss.
I write what is currently going on in my life but with discernment as to privacy and names. I do believe this is the way right now
God wants my blog to be moving.
2. How does my work differ from others of it’s genre?
I focus on feelings, matters of the heart. Growth towards God. Encouragement and hope.
3. Why do I write what I write?
When the blog began it was birthed out of a lot of prayer, soul searching and willingness to write from my heart with little editing or over thinking.
When I first retired from full time work God gave me the time, the tools, and the encouragement from my husband to begin a writing process.
One day he said to me, “I read a lot of engineering blogs and I think you can the very same thing in your own writing style.”
After he said that I had no clue what a blog was or what people did with them.
So the challenge gave me a reason to dig further and read others writings and then pray about my own ‘way of sharing.’
Within a few weeks God gave me the desire to write from my heart in an open and real authentic way and then proceeded to lead me into the ‘name’ of the blog.
Something to think about was birthed out of the desire for someone to read what is written then step back and say, “I have never thought of it that way.”
All my life writing has been a healing process for me.
As a child I would often have a pen and paper near me to write or to draw with and I knew what was written if secured in a safe ‘place’ was only for my heart and my emotions.
It was a place of ‘safety’.
I could write and not worry about the issues or concerns surrounding my words.
It was my own journey of healing.
Now as I have become more mature in the process of writing and blogging I moved from a private ‘blog setting’ to one open to the public.
That took great courage for me.
I am by nature very private but as my husband said to me one day:
“If you wrote a book, would you always know who read it or purchased it?”
my answer was no.
So I released my control and allowed God to take the blog where he wanted it to go.
Soon after that time, I began to do guest posts and joined others at writers conferences and discussions.
I write because the story God has given me, is not for my purpose but for the purpose of helping others.
We all have a story and it is our responsibility to share it.
4. How does my writing process work?
Well I have a den/office room which is where the majority of all my work is done.
My computer sits on an large antique desk and there are piles of papers nearby to help in the note taking.
I begin by processing the thought or theme, or I follow a word prompt, then it takes generally about 5-8 hours to finally publish the writing as a finished piece.
I read it out loud and sense how it feels or sounds, then I pause and come back to it. Giving me space and window of opportunity to tweak a word or two and even whole paragraphs will be removed or rewritten.
Each blog takes hours unless it is a quick five minute word prompt.
Sometimes if I am reading a book I will take notes, not to copy from someone but to stir ideas in my own process and presentation.
Whenever the blog is written it is bathed in prayer, and checked many times before the final ‘publish’ button is pushed.
In 2010 this blog began. Each year since then has been put into a book form so a legacy of words can be passed down from my children to my grand children.
It is a perfect preservation of who I am as a person and what I believe in as a believer, the words reflect my personality and my faith and what is most important to me.
If one person can be changed, challenged, moved and encouraged, by this legacy of writing then I believe every hour spent in this writing chair was worth it.
by Sharon O | Jul 22, 2014 | Uncategorized
It seems like so long ago since the word series was started.
A lot has happened since then.
I wanted to continue with the theme then major set backs made me take a big pause in the writing and my ‘mind’ could not find the words to share what was deeply resting on my heart.
Today I am ready to tackle the next word in the series.
We have reviewed courage, willingness, trust, tenderness, power, balance, change, rest, healing, compassion, play, humor and beauty.Our fourteenth word will be delight.
Dictionary.com says: high degree of pleasure or enjoyment.
To give, to have, to receive great pleasure.
An example of the word is this:
She delights in going for a long walk in the country.
When one is moving from a recovery process to health and healing.
Sometimes one feels guilty when they begin to feel joy or the ability to be ‘delighted’
in the normal things of life that are meant to be enjoyed.
Delight is a lighthearted joyful word.
The bible mentions the word 106 times on many occasions throughout the old and new testament.
Psalm 40:8 I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.
Psalm 51:6 Behold, you delight in the truth in the inward being, and
you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Psalm 119:14 In the way of your testimonies, I delight as much as in all riches.
Psalm 119:16 I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.
Psalm 119:24 Your testimonies are my delight, they are my counselors.
Psalm 37:11 But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace.
Psalm 37:23 The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
These are just a few of the many beautiful passages using this word.
I would challenge you to take the time to look it up and refresh your heart
and your thought on this word called ‘delight’.
“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals
that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to,
worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch.
Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity,
wonder, spontaneous delight, or any other experience
that reveals the human spirit.” EE Cummings
Zephaniah 3:17
“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you
with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”
by Sharon O | Jul 19, 2014 | Uncategorized
Dictionary.com said: the state of having the bud’s open.
A flourishing healthy time of great beauty.
The five minute word challenge using the word bloom begins now.
I have heard the saying. “bloom where you are planted,”
but I think there must be more to that story.
Bloom is having the bud’s open.
I can see it as a physical ‘sense’ or a spiritual sense.
Open my eyes Lord, open the eyes of my heart so I may see you.
A time of great beauty would be to discover the majesty and power
of a loving heavenly Father with a faith that only comes by a trust that is small and yet so powerful.
Bloom: I think of a multi-layered rose with it’s tiny bud trying ever so slowly to open.
On my side bar the saying that says, “it was more painful to stay a bud, then to open.” Is so true.
When I held my heart tight and inward it was much more difficult to reach out to others.
I think to bloom where we are in our environments and our families is a wonderful, powerful thought.
The bud is different than the finished product.
In a spiritual sense. The old man is different than the new.
When one is baptized it has been said that the old man leaves and a new man begins.
Bloom, the state of having the bud to open where exposure can show the beauty that was hidden.
Where no one ever saw or experienced that beauty and/or the person in a spiritual sense who was deep inside.
Bloom:
A flourishing healthy time of great beauty.
I pray we all find that one day.
by Sharon O | Jul 14, 2014 | Uncategorized
You write for five minutes with no editing.
starting now:
Belong: dictionary.com says- it is to be bound to
by the ties of affection, dependence or allegiance.
Appropriately placed, in relation of or to a member.
Belong: I can say after forty years of being married to my husband.
I belong to him and he belongs to me.
It is an attachment, a tie of affection and a way of life together.
Not only because we choose to be that way but because we belong together until death parts us.
Family is that way.
United because of affection, dependence or allegiance.
Standing up for each other and saying, “I am here for you.”
We belong to each other because we are related.
We have the same genetics, the same data in our system that says ‘we are family’.
I see pictures of myself at times and see parts of my mother.
It is hard to deal with sometimes but it is what it is.
My husband often says,
“when I miss my dad all I have to do is look in the mirror
and I can see him.”
Related and belonging.
His brothers all look alike, you can tell they come
from the same parents.
Belonging to each other.
To be bound to…
because we choose it.
Belong.
an unedited writing for the week. with no over thinking.
by Sharon O | Jul 6, 2014 | Uncategorized
Following the thought process of ‘a spiritual whitespace’
A place of quiet and rest.
The word prompt for Friday was Exhale.
Dictionary.com says it is to Breathe Out.
(example sentence: Breathe in deeply and make an effort
to exhale all of the air out of the lungs.)
I remember when we were expecting our first child.
We took the Lamaze birth classes to learn how to relax
when the labor process would begin.
A large part of that class was learning how to breathe.
Breathe in… hold it…then breathe out.
It was a cleansing breath.
Breathe in… hold it in then breathe it out.
We would do that routine over and over as it helps
when the pain arrives.
This concept also works in other situations.
The urgent call, your daughter is being taken by ambulance to the ER after a car wreck.
Breathe in… hold it and breathe out
The manager tells you to move and you have no idea where you will find something you can afford.
Breathe in… hold it and breathe out.
The bills are over whelming you and you have no idea how to fix them or pay for them on time.
Breathe in… hold it and breathe out.
The car breaks down and you have to be towed.
Breathe in… hold it and breathe out.
Cleansing breath…
realizing that you are not in control of anything.
Last month we sat in a room with a dying man.
Listening to the sounds of his breath as it moved slowly
with the help of oxygen pumping air into tired lungs and heart.
Pulsing …in a rhythmic pattern.
In and out… in and out.
Inhale then Exhale… Breathing out. Letting it go.
We were in the room when he took his last breaths.
Five times he breathed in and out.
I counted them. In a rhythmic way.
Then the final exhale.
It was over.
The early morning call telling me my dad passed away.
It was over. His breath was gone.
I laid in bed and took a deep breath of my own and then let it go.
Exhale the cleansing breath.
The early morning call telling me my mom passed away.
It was over. Her breath was gone.
I laid in bed and one more time finding myself
doing the exhale cleansing breath.
It is only by God’s grace we breathe in and breathe out.
Genesis 2:7
then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and
breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, the man became a living creature.
Breathing in and exhaling out.
There is a beginning and then an ending.
The new baby cries taking in his first breath,
the old man dies exhaling his last.
Exhale: Breathe out. The process of letting go.
by Sharon O | Jun 25, 2014 | Uncategorized
Bonnie Gray is the author of the blog called: Faith Barista.com
She is a beautiful gifted writer who has been on a journey of the heart and spirit as she faced hidden memories and experiences beginning with her first panic attack.
If you have ever been on a ‘spiritual journey’ you know what it is like
to venture into unknown thoughts, memories and feelings.
It is hard. Difficult. Scary.
Sometimes you have no choice.
I have been in this place too.
It is deeply disturbing and emotionally stretching
to move through the process of healing.
As she says in her book: “I only have whispers, etched in pain.”
Because sometimes a whisper is the only voice we find when doing this kind of deep work.
She opens the book with the concept from Jon Acuff that
somewhere in our lives or at some point in our lives
we stopped valuing rest.
We rush everything wanting the instant microwave finished way.
But it doesn’t work and in most situations we must
learn to slow down to rest… it is crucial to our health and healing.
Without rest we can become weary, sad and non-focused.
Even Jesus took the time away from the crowds to rest.
Bonnie says:
“Take the journey then allow your story and your voice to emerge from deep within.”
With a good therapist and an understanding husband.
Her story unfolded in ways she could never have imagined.
She has written the most moving and challenging book I have read in a long time.
It is vulnerable, real and emotionally deep.
I am reading it slow for it calls for reflection and non rushed time.
I am also keeping a box of kleenex very near as it stirs a hearts emotions.
I can relate to a lot of what she has written.
The lump in my throat and the tears close when reading her words.
When my own journey took place
I had no idea what it would be like or who I would become
when I came out of the fog and the road traveled internally.
My journey of healing took many long painful years.
Bonnie’s story is very similar.
It is not easy to go back where we have hidden parts of ourselves.
It is scary but as Bonnie says in her book,
“Jesus wants us to know there is no place we can find ourselves
where his presence cannot reach us.
He is right here.”
This is a book about a journey.
A journey and a path we do not walk alone.
With good therapy and a willing spirit the process can begin.
Bonnie says: “It’s time to restore our souls.
To care for what is tender, what is broken and what is fragile.”
She tells us that the desolate places are necessary.
Even Jesus went there.
He will meet you in your quiet healing place when you are ready for the journey.
It isn’t always deep and gut wrenching but it is still a place of healing.
There was a crippled man Jesus chose to heal
but before he did that
He asked him a very important question.
The question remains for us too:
Do you want to be well?
It is a decision and a choice we all must ask ourselves at some point in our lives
if we want to see change happen.
In order for us to move forward sometimes we must go back.
Bonnie shares her journey with gentleness, vulnerability and grace.
Through the rest she so needed and through the healing ahead of her
she discovered whitespace.
“Spiritual whitespace brings us to a different peace where we are real.” It is a “soul rest… an empty canvas with no pictures uncluttered.”
“Whitespace is a choice to convey quality and artistic value.”
“It is in the margins, unmarked and untouched.”
“Whitespace keeps the message from getting cluttered and draws
attention to what is really important.”
Healing… restoration… and hope.
This book is a beautiful story of wounds that are healed
and lessons learned differently.
As Bonnie says to all of us:
God uses all of our broken pieces to make something beautiful.
God is making something beautiful out of you.
I challenge you to move forward and believe “that the other side of brokenness is restoration.”
“Making room for spiritual whitespace takes us on a journey to awaken our hearts to God again.”
by Sharon O | Jun 21, 2014 | Uncategorized
The five minute writing prompt gives a word every Friday.
The rule is you write freely for five minutes without editing
then you publish it.
I don’t always participate.
But sometimes I choose the challenge.
Today I felt like the word was good for me.
(I did take longer than five minutes as I needed to look the word up and stir my thinking as I processed)
Release.
Dictionary.com says…Release is:
A freeing or releasing from
confinement (emotional or physical),
obligation, pain and emotional strain.
A grant of permission. To allow something to be known.
Relinquish or surrender.
To free from one’s grip or control.
Release.
Such a powerful word and since we have been learning about words in this ‘blog series’ it is very important to explore the meanings.
Release.
Let it go… with open palm and open heart.
In church I release my heart hurt and the stress of my week.
I let it go.
In prayer I release the tension, the sorrow and the tears.
Above it says that it is freeing from emotional confinement because sometimes we pen ourselves in to the ways of the past and we do not allow those rules to break down.
Let it go.
It is healthy… it is healing.
Granting permission to feel the feelings and not apologize.
To speak and say ‘the feelings’ or thoughts
then let it go.
Release. such a healing process… such a freedom.
by Sharon O | Jun 16, 2014 | Uncategorized
September 20, 2013 my dad passed away.
In the early morning hour of June 16, 2014
my mother passed away.
I believe they are together.
The passing of time shows us how fragile life really is.
We grieve. We remember.
We walk this road of sadness one more time.
For us it has been a lot of loss in a little over a year.
The journey is over.
by Sharon O | Jun 16, 2014 | Uncategorized
We are still waiting.
Our mother is still here.
Still fighting for breath… still holding on for some reason.
Today is father’s day.
We lost our dad in September of last year.
Soon the past will be just that.
A memory shared from pictures in a box.
A card found from long ago mail.
Letters written in hand writing never to be seen again.
Treasures mixed with emotion and mixed with memory.
It is not easy to sit in a room when someone is dying.
It is a sacred time.
A time for quiet and peace.
It is also a time for emotion and patience.
The waiting…
Where the soul is waiting for that moment when it should leave.
I do believe the soul goes and the shell is left behind.
Once that loved one is gone
the story is not over
it then becomes a choice of how we remember.
Max Lucado once said:
You change your life by changing your heart.
Saying good-bye is a matter of the heart.
Each day we sit and watch the ending of a life
we wait and we pray and we do a lot of thinking.
Thinking isn’t bad if it leads us to a better ‘mind set’
and or heart condition.
We have sat in this waiting room now four times.
As I have said before it is labor intensive.
It is the hardest part of this life we live.
by Sharon O | Jun 9, 2014 | Uncategorized
My mother is dying.
It is a strange thing to think that soon I will be like many others in this ‘stage’ of life.
As my husband calls it, an orphan.
No parent.
Nothing.
Mothers day and Father’s day have been empty for me for a long time because of certain circumstances.
But now it will truly be an empty day.
No hallmark memories to fill the hallow space of heart.
Death is such a strange thing.
She is in a coma and not really responding.
It is a matter of time.
Perhaps a few days or even a few hours.
Eventually minutes when the breathing stops.
The heart gets a message to stop the beating.
Then the shell of the one who once lived will lay empty.
The angels come and escort the ‘one home’ to a heavenly home.
If they are a believer.
Those left behind will pick up the reminders of
when times were different.
When both of them were alive.
She has been leaving for quite some time.
Dementia and parkinson’s are the reason.
Dad passed away in September of last year.
Loss has been the story lately for my husband and I.
Starting with my husbands mom four years ago.
Then his dad, last March.
My dad, then a good friend within a week from each other.
My old special cat, the same week.
Two weeks ago another very special family friend and last week another family friend.
I am tired of saying good bye.
