by Sharon O | Feb 23, 2015 | Uncategorized
The word for today is open.
You write for five minutes with little editing and deep thought.
Random writing about the word open…
it is deep and wide and we can do this.
With arms open wide… and hearts ready to receive we ‘open’ ourselves to what the Lord can do for and with us.
He is strength and song. he is our salvation and he is OUR God and our father.
We will praise him and extol him… worship and proclaim his love to all who will hear, and all who will listen with an open attitude and a willing heart.
We stand in silence ready to receive.
We raise our hands to worship. To give honor.
To adore and thank our Lord God.
When we are open we are ready to accept, we are ready to find something new and exciting.
The doors are not shut to our hearts, or spirits or emotions.
With arms open wide.
We wait with anticipation to receive of ‘our Lords’ gift to us.
by Sharon O | Feb 15, 2015 | Uncategorized
The new word of the day is When.
We write for five minutes with no editing and no proof reading.
Spontaneous, word choosing, thought provoking five minutes.
When:
To my husband.
We always talk about the future as if it will come, I pray it does but we talk in terms of ‘when we retire’ we are going to get the motor home, pay off bills, re-do the house, then sell it.
We talk of plans to England and to other places of unknown new ‘memories’ to share for us.
We talk of times of relaxation and little rules.
We share what we would like to do when the time is free and there are no obligations to tie us down.
I often wonder would we really like to be free with no accountability.
Will we enjoy visiting different places on different day of the month.
Will we like driving and chatting and finding new restaurants or hiking trails, new adventures to take pictures of for photo albums.
Will we like sleeping in and not having to worry as much.
Will we enjoy the freedom that retirement gives.
I often wonder how will you do when you have no yard to mow and few things to tinker with in the garage.
Will you be totally bored or will you be able to relax and enjoy the carefree life.
I wonder what our new hobbies will be or will we just walk and talk and enjoy our days together.
When we retire it will be very different on many levels.
Insurance will be on us, that is scary. The checks every two weeks will not be as predictable.
Scary too.
But the flip side is the time we can spend together.
It will be good, and sweet and maybe sometimes boring but that is ok, I like being bored with someone I care for.
When we retire it will be us together with our kitties.
And that will be good.
by Sharon O | Feb 11, 2015 | Uncategorized
February 11th is my sister’s birthday.
This year will be her 62nd… this picture was of her 60th.
Every year I wish her happy birthday knowing in my heart,
it is a miracle we thought would never happen.
In 2006 after visiting with her on many occasions, consulting with the doctor, and pleading my case, she was put on hospice.
The diagnosis was death pending, within six months or sooner.
She had liver failure, hepatitis C and starvation.
She was wheelchair bound with her 90 pound frame barely fitting into the leather seat.
The pictures stored in her photo album paint a picture of her reality in ways that words never could.
No one can grasp the depth of the situation unless one was there to witness it, like we were.
Her husband died in the early morning hours on July 26th, 2006.
He was her caregiver.
It was shocking, sad, numbing, unexpected and a very horrible day for all of us in the family, when I received the phone call in the early morning hour telling me, he was dead.
My sister, who was dying just became a widow.
When I heard the news I knew I could never leave her there to die alone, they lived in a small ‘5th wheel trailer’ and I knew I had to move her to a safer and more caring environment for her last days.
When my husband and I arrived at their home, 14 miles from ours, there were police, and coroner car, fire truck and chaos all around the surrounding area.
When I saw her, she looked so fragile and broken and scared and maybe not even understanding.
He was gone.
We loaded her into our car and drove in silence with my husband and I in our own thoughts, as she slept in the back seat with her head pressed against the car window.
The hours ahead of us seemed surreal, what we were experiencing was like a very bad dream, only it was real and we were awake.
There were many things to do when we brought her home. I had to call my work and let my boss know I would not be back till she passed away, then call hospice, and family.
Our family room would become a resting place for the dying and we would sit with her as we watched and waited for her to die.
We started her out in a loveseat hideabed then moved her into a hospital bed for the final journey of her hospice care. The hospice team told us she had just a few weeks left so we were just keeping her comfortable.
We began a journey none of us would ever want to repeat.
She was drowning in a sea of alcoholism and like life guards, we jumped in and rescued her.
For me it was especially exhausting as I didn’t know how to swim or navigate this care taking process.
There were many things to deal with and it was physically and emotionally taxing on all who were involved.
The care taking team consisted of my husband and I, our older sister and her husband, the hospice team and most important the doctor who helped us. I will forever be grateful to him for his patience.
Days moved into weeks as we gave her round the clock care, as her thin body laid on the sheet of the hospital bed.
Detoxing the demons out of her was a balance between medications every two hours, monitoring the seizures and praying the hallucinations would leave.
You cannot believe the horrible effects detox has on a person.
She had to have specific drugs to ease the discomfort and chaos inside her body and brain.
In the midst of the really hard, there were a few really funny moments of comedy relief.
Remembering the middle of the night when I was so exhausted to take her outside for a smoke, I gave her one that was unlit and told her to smoke it.
This was breaking my rule to never have cigarettes in my home, but she had no idea it wasn’t lit and I would hold the ash tray near her bed telling her to dump the ashes and she would.
I would watch her inhale and exhale pretend smoke, while feeling relieved I didn’t have to get her in her chair to go outside. She smoked the same cigarette for four days before I had to start over with a new one.
The hospice team was amazed and we all laughed about my crazy idea of an unlit cigarette.
Everyone involved in the process with us was amazed at our ability to work together on this very difficult journey.
We realized her tolerance was very high, she was drinking a fifth of vodka daily, so in order for that to be removed one has to taper down slowly, or the body will crash in a violent way.
The doctor was amazing along with the hospice team and especially the chaplain, who helped us create a memorial service for her husband out in our courtyard, as she was too ill to go anywhere outside of our home.
Day in and day out we took care of her and loved her through her wrecked life.
Soon her strength began to come back to her as we removed the alcohol from her system.
We were giving her three oz doses of vodka two times daily and that seemed to keep the detox process comfortable for her.
She had to have help to eat, walk and move around the house.
She slowly began to wall walk holding onto the walls for stability and a bit of independence.
In seven weeks were able to move her out of our home and into an adult foster home setting.
When that setting didn’t work well, we were able to move her into an assisted living facility not far from my home.
The day she chose to live was the day she quit dying.
The journey was long, hard and would we ever do it again?
No, I have told her many times. It was very hard.
Today she is alive and living in an assisted living home.
Her brain is slowly coming back to her and she is thriving.
It is a story of love, sacrifice, sisterhood and hope.
It is a story of family, a journey of life and death and then life again.
It is a story of sisters.
There is so much more to this story I could share and someday I will when the time is right.
We brought her home to die in a safe and loving place.
By caring for her, praying for her, and giving hope, her life was restored from a wrecked life going no where to a place of healing with a new future.
Each year I am thankful she can have another birthday.
Because I will always remember the year she almost didn’t.
by Sharon O | Feb 8, 2015 | Uncategorized
When my oldest grand daughter was in pre-school I would take her to school and pick her up every day.
She was with me all the time as her mom worked.
One day we were running a bit late, and we got in to the car, she was buckled in to the car seat and I drove down the road.
After coming to a stop, I turned left and began driving while I noticed blinking lights behind me.
Wondering what that was about I pulled over and the officers car pulled over behind me.
Now I couldn’t believe anything could have gone wrong having been in the car less than five minutes.
I rolled down my window and the officer said to me, “do you know why I pulled you over?”
I honestly could not so I told him I had no idea.
He said that I pulled out in front of him.
Anyone who knows me and knows how I drive, also knows I would not ever ‘pull’ out in front of a police car.
At this point while he was talking to me my grand daughter in the back seat lost her patience.
She said, “I am going to be late for school. We need to get going.”
I calmly told her to let the nice gentlemen talk to us.
She again reminded me it was a school day and she was going to be late and she didn’t like to be late for school.
I tried my best to get her to be more quiet, while not looking to obvious with a police man standing by my window.
He then said to her, “let me talk to your mommy and then you can leave for school,”
I thanked him and let him know I was grandma.
He then looked at my license and told me to be more careful before he walked away.
A verbal warning was wonderful and I was free to continue driving.
It was a crazy morning and even more crazy to be stopped.
Then I as we walked her into the pre-school room she excitedly told everyone about grandma and the police and how they stopped us and the lights were flashing and it was so exciting.
Another funny moment in the small town in Oregon.
by Sharon O | Feb 4, 2015 | Uncategorized
There was a time in years past, when I could sing and carry a decent tune, in fact in high school there were a few ‘choir recitals and solo contests’, even won a few of them.
In our early married lives my husband and I used to sing together in church and on occasional wedding settings, remembering the one wedding where we were asked to sing endless love and evergreen.
The one wedding where for some reason the piano player and the singers were not ‘so together’, yet she rescued us and made us sound very good in the end.
That my friends, is a gifted musician.
I sang solos in church and concert settings, with a friend of mine.
It was very comical because she was tall and very large and I was short and very petite, she stood beside me while I was on a chair.
It has been a great grief of mine to lose my voice.
I warble out a tune now in the key of a mans voice and I can sing really well with our music pastor at church.
High notes and myself do not meet anymore on any song.
Too many throat infections have taken the tones away.
I have grieved this loss. It was very hard because music has always been a comfort to me.
In prayer one day I had to give it to God and ask him to bless my attempt of a joyful noise.
The alto notes that were once my ‘scale’ is now lower and rarely do I sound like I once did.
Harmony used to be a ‘go to’ for me. So love to listen to the voices blending with different notes.
On Saturday afternoons we sit in our family room and listen to the Gaither’s as they sing their southern gospel songs, and we do join in and sing, but when I do it is clear the voice has changed.
Along with many other parts of the aging process that have changed me in the last few years.
God knows this has been a deep grief to me.
So much scar tissue surrounds the vocal cords and my ‘sound’.
When we had the opportunity to sing to the dying.
I listened as others sang the beautiful hymns as we comforted those who were leaving us.
My normal role it to be the observer and that time was no exception.
I had to observe and listen and experience this very different kind of loss on many levels.
The beautiful part of singing is gone now, but that doesn’t stop me from singing.
Oh believe me, I sing and I sing to my heart’s joy… but not where any one can hear.
God knows my heart and that is enough for me.
He really is the only audience I need these days.
by Sharon O | Feb 1, 2015 | Uncategorized
The word was wait: and the directions are to write for five minutes without editing, then push publish.
It is an impromptu writing challenge.
Let’s begin.
Now that you have experienced some of the humorous parts of this blog, I will get back to serious writing soon.
If someone is not a writer it is hard to imagine the amount of energy it takes to write a ‘writing’ to the point of clarification and understanding to the reader.
I have never been a published writer but as time has moved on, my ability has grown and deepened.
The rules don’t always apply to my style of writing.
It is more from my heart. Or from what the Lord is sharing with me.
Wait is a great word for us right now.
My husband just had a knee replacement. He must wait for the leg to heal.
Impatience is not going to be helpful in this situation.
We have people we want to see and visit with and places we want to go explore.
But wait is the rule right now.
It is not as hard as it feels.
Dictionary.com says wait means: to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as in until something happens.
To postpone or delay something, to continue as one expecting something, a period or interval of waiting.
It demands patience, lot’s of it.
It is important to slow down and let healing begin whether one is healing physically or emotionally.
If a hurt took place it takes a lot of time to heal that hurt.
On many levels.
To look forward eagerly means,
“I am waiting patiently for the day I can be whole and healthy again.”
Waiting means to serve or be in attendance.
I have waited on him because he could not do things for himself.
It is a growing learning process for both of us. To be patient and trust in the process.
The bible says: “they who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they will mount up their wings as with eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint.
Teach me Lord, teach us Lord to wait.”
by Sharon O | Jan 29, 2015 | Uncategorized
This was written in 2011 but many of the readers have never seen it so it is being shared today as I have no brain energy to write a new blog post.
AND I was told that is is very funny, we all could use a bit of humor today.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
A bit of Humor
I thought I would share a bit of humor today.
My son is a police officer and he works at the station down town where we live. He enjoys his job and enjoys the satisfaction of helping others and recently worked up to a Sergeant position. His normal job is in a district attorneys office the police job is for continual training and to add to his resume. I am sure it is very interesting at times for him when his mother has had a few ‘moments’ with the officers of the law in the area. Not intentionally of course I just happened to get in situations where we meet on occasion.
Sometimes it is with someone he knows other times like this story he didn’t know them.
The first funny moment was during a construction period not far from the new addition to our town called the Allison Inn. The road crews were making a round about to make traffic easier to deal with. Round abouts are circles going left or right allowing the drivers to slow down and yield depending on the direction they are going.
 |
| (drawing of a round about) |
I happened to have my sister in the car at the time and we were driving through the mess of the road construction and apparently I went the wrong way.
I was heading into on coming traffic driving on the wrong side of the road.
Yes I said …the WRONG side of the road…oops.
Now my sister noticed it first and then she quietly said, “Are you going the right way?”
I realized I was in error and tried to get where I was supposed to be, only I ended up high centered on the edge of the concrete barrier with one tire up and one tire down and I was stuck. Afraid to gun the engine and get unstuck, I stayed there a few minutes to re-think my problem.
In the mean time we notice some headlights coming my way as it was dusk and night was quickly coming upon us. The headlights were in my lane since I was in their lane. It was a bit frustrating to realize how stuck I was and cars were beginning to line up on the other side wanting to go past me.
About the time I realized I was not able to move my car forward or backward.
I noticed the first car that showed up in front of me was a sheriffs cars with headlights on top. When the officer stopped his car he opened his door and stepped out staying behind his door and said to me in a loud voice, “Get off the road… back up and get off the road. You are blocking traffic.”
Using his bull horn to get my attention.
If you have ever heard one of those they are loud and somewhat unnerving.
Especially when someone is armed and in uniform telling you to move and get off of the road. I wasn’t sure what to do other than what he said and I was a bit afraid to move my car and hurt it. I was in quite a predicament and not sure of my next move.
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| (from a clip art I found) |
Now you would have thought he could have come over to help me, or to see if I was ok or to just talk quietly instead of using the mega bull horn with people watching. NO he told me to move in a very loud way and with force in his voice. “Get off the road you are blocking traffic.”
I WAS STUCK couldn’t he see that? It should have been very obvious.
After having the instructions to get off the road given to me by an officer of the law
I told my sister to hang on.
We were getting out of there.
I pressed my foot on the pedal of my car and tried to back up then I tried to go forward and finally dropped onto the road and drove off leaving the officer in a cloud of dust with a line of cars behind him to carry on for the rest of the night. My sister thought it was funny although she kept her comments to herself till later.
I was worried about my car and upset the officer didn’t come help me.
I asked my son about it when I got home and he said, “Mom if I would have found you like that I would have had you walk the line.”
That’s my boy… Thanks Son.
A bit of humor from the small home town in Oregon.
Only this time the neighbor… looked through her window and saw me at the mail box taking mail out then driving away.
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