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A different kind of loss

by | Feb 4, 2015 | Uncategorized

There was a time in years past, when I could sing and carry a decent tune, in fact in high school there were a few ‘choir recitals and solo contests’, even won a few of them.
In our early married lives my husband and I used to sing together in church and on occasional wedding settings, remembering the one wedding where we were asked to sing endless love and evergreen.
The one wedding where for some reason the piano player and the singers were not ‘so together’, yet she rescued us and made us sound very good in the end.
That my friends, is a gifted musician.
I sang solos in church and concert settings, with a friend of mine.
It was very comical because she was tall and very large and I was short and very petite, she stood beside me while I was on a chair.
It has been a great grief of mine to lose my voice.
I warble out a tune now in the key of a mans voice and I can sing really well with our music pastor at church.
High notes and myself do not meet anymore on any song.
Too many throat infections have taken the tones away.
I have grieved this loss. It was very hard because music has always been a comfort to me.
In prayer one day I had to give it to God and ask him to bless my attempt of a joyful noise.
The alto notes that were once my ‘scale’ is now lower and rarely do I sound like I once did.
Harmony used to be a ‘go to’ for me.  So love to listen to the voices blending with different notes.
On Saturday afternoons we sit in our family room and listen to the Gaither’s as they sing their southern gospel songs, and we do join in and sing, but when I do it is clear the voice has changed.
Along with many other parts of the aging process that have changed me in the last few years.
God knows this has been a deep grief to me.
So much scar tissue surrounds the vocal cords and my ‘sound’.
When we had the opportunity to sing to the dying.
I listened as others sang the beautiful hymns as we comforted those who were leaving us.
My normal role it to be the observer and that time was no exception.
I had to observe and listen and experience this very different kind of loss on many levels.
The beautiful part of singing is gone now, but that doesn’t stop me from singing.
Oh believe me, I sing and I sing to my heart’s joy… but not where any one can hear.
God knows my heart and that is enough for me.
He really is the only audience I need these days.

Five minute Friday

by | Feb 1, 2015 | Uncategorized

The word was wait: and the directions are to write for five minutes without editing, then push publish.
It is an impromptu writing challenge.
Let’s begin.
Now that you have experienced some of the humorous parts of this blog, I will get back to serious writing soon.
If someone is not a writer it is hard to imagine the amount of energy it takes to write a ‘writing’ to the point of clarification and understanding to the reader.
I have never been a published writer but as time has moved on, my ability has grown and deepened.
The rules don’t always apply to my style of writing.
It is more from my heart. Or from what the Lord is sharing with me.
Wait is a great word for us right now.
My husband just had a knee replacement. He must wait for the leg to heal.
Impatience is not going to be helpful in this situation.
We have people we want to see and visit with and places we want to go explore.
But wait is the rule right now.
It is not as hard as it feels.
Dictionary.com says wait means:  to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as in until something happens.
To postpone or delay something, to continue as one expecting something, a period or interval of waiting.
It demands patience, lot’s of it.
It is important to slow down and let healing begin whether one is healing physically or emotionally.
If a hurt took place it takes a lot of time to heal that hurt.
On many levels.
To look forward eagerly means,
“I am waiting patiently for the day I can be whole and healthy again.”
Waiting means to serve or be in attendance.
I have waited on him because he could not do things for himself.
It is a growing learning process for both of us. To be patient and trust in the process.
The bible says: “they who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they will mount up their wings as with eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint.
Teach me Lord, teach us Lord to wait.”

The third funny post

by | Jan 31, 2015 | Uncategorized

Blast from the past again… for your enjoyment.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Binoculars and wild imagination

The next event that happened with the local police department was just a few weeks after the night incident.

found in clip art 

My best friend who had recently gotten married after being widowed for almost seven years, asked me to pick up her mail out of her mail box while they were on a short vacation.
I said, “sure I can do that I have done it before, no problem.” 

She just lives about a quarter mile from me and it was easy to drive by quickly and pick her mail up. When they got home I would give it all to them. Easy thing to do for a friend, I thought it was no issue.

Only this time the neighbor… looked through her window and saw me at the mail box taking mail out then driving away.
She immediately wrote down my license plate and yes you guessed it, she called the police department and told them I was stealing mail out of her neighbors mail box.
So one more time, around dinner time, we get a knock on the front door and two officers were there asking my husband if the white car in our driveway was mine. 
My husband said, “yes why are you asking?”
Well they said they received a report of mail theft and had to come over and check it out.   
My husband explained that she was my best friend and I was only helping her out.

I could not believe the nosy neighbor actually called the police, and they were at my door again, in less than a few weeks. I am sure they were really beginning to wonder who Officer O’s mom really was. 
Another funny moment in the life and small town in Oregon.

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The next funny post

by | Jan 30, 2015 | Uncategorized

The NEXT blast from the past post for your enjoyment. 

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Night Visitors

The next funny moment with police officers happened just a few months after the last incident.

One night I was sitting in our family room watching a detective show.

I like criminal minds or NCIS or other detective shows like documentaries as long as they are not too ‘gruesome’ in details.
This particular night I was in my bathrobe, and it was late around 10:30-11:00 and enjoying a glass of wine and relaxing before bed.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I could not imagine who would be visiting this time of night.
Looking out the little hole in my door I noticed officers in uniform standing on the step. 

I opened the door and saw one of them over by my garage and two of them standing before me as I greeted them in my bathrobe.
I asked them, “Can I help you?”
They said to me, “Mam we think someone is in your home and we are here to see what is going on inside your house and make sure you are safe.”
I was shocked by what I heard because I knew it was only me and my cat and my husband who had gone to bed earlier. They continued, “There was a 911 call from your home and we have been monitoring your open phone line and listening to conversations and we feel you are in danger perhaps there is an intruder in there with you.”
I was still shocked.
If there was an intruder wouldn’t I know it? asking myself who on earth would dial 911?
I said to them, “I will be right back”, as I shut the front door leaving them standing there waiting for the door to open again and not knowing if I really had a bad guy observing my every move.
I rushed upstairs as fast as my slippers and bathrobe would let me, and woke up my husband asking him.
“Did you call 911?”  
He was asleep and answered me in a groggy tone, “why would he do that?” 
He asked me, “what was going on” and I told him “we had police at our door.” 
Then I rushed back downstairs to open the door again, this time I found all three officers standing there requesting to come in to our home.
(In case this ever happens to you it is NOT good advise to shut a door on any officer of the law especially if they think you might be in danger and especially if you have more than one.)
Of course by this time my husband was awake and downstairs inviting all officers in and we chatted about what might have happened.
The phone was set on speed dial and apparently it fell or was knocked into or whatever and it dialed 911. There was no answer on my end of the phone of course because I didn’t know the police were there listening to it. They listened to part of the show on tv and apparently thought it was a real situation. 
(no I am not making this up it really happened.)

After chatting with them (I was still in my bathrobe) and after they realized ‘we’ were related to our son who worked at the station they left.
My husband went back to bed 
and I went back to my much needed glass of wine.
As I sat down in my chair and thought about what just took place in the last half hour, I wondered what they really heard on that phone call and how long had they been listening?
Was I talking to myself??
or talking to my cat??
What on earth did they hear on the show to cause such a concern and what was I was watching?
Sure hope that never happens again.

Also I wondered what they said to each other as they left our house and what they wrote in the police report.
It must have been very interesting.
The next day I went into my work at the pharmacy and I just had to share with anyone who would listen to
another ‘adventure’ in the little home town in Oregon.

POSTED BY  clip art found on line for the purpose of the story

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A bit of humor for you

by | Jan 29, 2015 | Uncategorized

This was written in 2011 but many of the readers have never seen it so it is being shared today as I have no brain energy to write a new blog post.
AND I was told that is is very funny, we all could use a bit of humor today.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A bit of Humor

I thought I would share a bit of humor today.
My son is a police officer and he works at the station down town where we live. He enjoys his job and enjoys the satisfaction of helping others and recently worked up to a Sergeant position. His normal job is in a district attorneys office the police job is for continual training and to add to his resume. I am sure it is very interesting at times for him when his mother has had a few ‘moments’ with the officers of the law in the area. Not intentionally of course I just happened to get in situations where we meet on occasion. 
Sometimes it is with someone he knows other times like this story he didn’t know them. 
The first funny moment was during a construction period not far from the new addition to our town called the Allison Inn. The road crews were making a round about to make traffic easier to deal with. Round abouts are circles going left or right allowing the drivers to slow down and yield depending on the direction they are going.

(drawing of a round about)
I happened to have my sister in the car at the time and we were driving through the mess of the road construction and apparently I went the wrong way. 
I was heading into on coming traffic driving on the wrong side of the road.
Yes I said …the WRONG side of the road…oops.

Now my sister noticed it first and then she quietly said, “Are you going the right way?”
I realized I was in error and tried to get where I was supposed to be, only I ended up high centered on the edge of the concrete barrier with one tire up and one tire down and I was stuck. Afraid to gun the engine and get unstuck, I stayed there a few minutes to re-think my problem.
In the mean time we notice some headlights coming my way as it was dusk and night was quickly coming upon us. The headlights were in my lane since I was in their lane. It was a bit frustrating to realize how stuck I was and cars were beginning to line up on the other side wanting to go past me.
About the time I realized I was not able to move my car forward or backward.

I noticed the first car that showed up in front of me was a sheriffs cars with headlights on top. When the officer stopped his car he opened his door and stepped out staying behind his door and said to me in a loud voice, “Get off the road… back up and get off the road. You are blocking traffic.” 
Using his bull horn to get my attention.
If you have ever heard one of those they are loud and somewhat unnerving.
Especially when someone is armed and in uniform telling you to move and get off of the road. I wasn’t sure what to do other than what he said and I was a bit afraid to move my car and hurt it. I was in quite a predicament and not sure of my next move.

(from a clip art I found)

Now you would have thought he could have come over to help me, or to see if I was ok or to just talk quietly instead of using the mega bull horn with people watching. NO he told me to move in a very loud way and with force in his voice. “Get off the road you are blocking traffic.”
I WAS STUCK couldn’t he see that? It should have been very obvious.
After having the instructions to get off the road given to me by an officer of the law
I told my sister to hang on.
We were getting out of there.
I pressed my foot on the pedal of my car and tried to back up then I tried to go forward and finally dropped onto the road and drove off leaving the officer in a cloud of dust with a line of cars behind him to carry on for the rest of the night. My sister thought it was funny although she kept her comments to herself till later.
I was worried about my car and upset the officer didn’t come help me.
I asked my son about it when I got home and he said, “Mom if I would have found you like that I would have had you walk the line.”
That’s my boy… Thanks Son.
A bit of humor from the small home town in Oregon.

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Post surgery recovery

by | Jan 28, 2015 | Uncategorized

I have been quiet for a short season of time because my husband had a knee replacement and we have been doing the necessary things for recovery.
It is a very major surgery.
It has taken a lot of time for both of us as he is not able to do much for himself.
The leg is very injured. There is about a 14 inch incision or longer.
They basically take one knee out and put the other knee in.
You can imagine what they must do to get that done.
VERY major bruising. A whole lot of pain.
He is not one to complain but it is very uncomfortable.
The one good thing the doctor told me his existing bone structure is like an old oak tree.
I would imagine that is a good thing.
I am tired but taking care of myself in the process not leaving home much.
This is a short season of time and recovery is necessary.
Writing will continue very soon.
God is using this quiet to teach me some very good lessons.
Prayers are appreciated.
At times he is a very silly man.

Listen

by | Jan 24, 2015 | Uncategorized

This month has flown by rather quickly for us.
Already it is the end of the month and wow… where does time go?
I have not met my ‘personal goals yet’.
Exercise and organization were on the list.
But I am slowing down and savoring quiet time and letting the
Lord teach and guide me through this guided quiet.
Silence is a great teacher.

God has shown me more than once that I must stop and listen to the quiet He is drawing me towards.
Yes there is wisdom in slowing down.
Yes there is healing in the quiet.
Yes we find truth when we reach inside ourselves and search the word of God and journal and let our words speak to the ‘hearts’ that wish to receive.
An online friend made this picture and it spoke to me.
How many times have we sat in the quiet by a fire and listened to the crackling logs, and felt the days pressures remove themselves as we bask in the warmth.
It is healing. Restoring. It is peaceful.
This year I choose to write more often with a deeper intent.
This year I plan on attending at least one writers conference and pursue the gift that God is moving me towards.
Someday maybe a book will form out of what is learned and experienced.
For now I choose to listen for words that bring hope and healing.
As we anticipate a new and different year.

A gift to myself

by | Jan 13, 2015 | Uncategorized

I decided on my 60th birthday I was going to give myself a diamond.
When I turned age 50 I purchased diamond ear rings. Just one pretty stone nothing fancy.
So I knew age 60 should be something similar.
Did not know what kind, or what shape, just knew it was going to be special. At first I found a band that had a nice series of diamonds in it, that were very nice. I left the first time I saw them and knew I would return to purchase the band. That night while sleeping things didn’t feel right for me.
In the morning, I found this quote on someone’s blog I think.
A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.
I knew after hearing that it must be a simple single stone.
God has been chipping and chipping and molding me into something new, something different, something stronger.
I have felt emotionally like a dark cold piece of coal at times, then after a short season there was a time of renewing and energy, bringing brightness and beauty.

Healing and hope.
We have been married 41 years and I am also closing down my therapy, having spent years in counseling it is time.
I am healed. I have learned new things and new tools and I am strong, much stronger then when I began.
Coal when put into the fire becomes strong too.
The day I decided to go into the local jewelry store it wasn’t clear to me what I was looking for.
When they showed me this one. A vintage stone. An antique set.
Pre-owned but era of 1920-1950 I had to have it.
I am vintage too, age 60.
Did not want to find something too flashy because of my wedding set.
It also had to be reasonable in price.
It met all criteria. And I loved the vintage look.
The band is not as old as the diamond.
Old and new, similar to what one has at a wedding… something old and something new.  Forty one years is just like that, old memories blended with new ones to come with each passing year.

A diamond is a chunk of coal… that made good under pressure.
Yes I have felt it all. The pressure to heal, the pressure to grow, the pressure to be strong.
It is good. It is mine. I am 60 years old. Married 41 years. 
Finished years of therapy. I am entitled to treat myself and I did.
I feel no guilt. Nothing other than it was something I needed to do for myself.
It was a gift to me. My husband loves it. I love it. I remain hopeful for a new and stronger new year. 

Sharing something with you.

by | Jan 10, 2015 | Uncategorized

http://www.mundanefaithfulness.com
http://www.mundanefaithfulness.com/

It should click right into her personal blog.
I am taking a break for a second to share this wonderful blog with you all.
She is courageous. She is loved.
She is on a journey non of us would want to go on yet, she is strong
and keeps her humor. If we can all teach living while in the process of dying.
We would be much better off.
You can subscribe to this blog as long as she is writing.
As we know time is not her friend.
Please if  you are a praying person, put her high on your list.
For her to be strong. For her doctors. For her husband.
Most of all for her precious little children.

More thoughts on the word of the year

by | Jan 10, 2015 | Uncategorized

Hope.
When you hear the word, what does it sound like to you?
Do you feel anticipation of what is to come… or a new beginning?
The bible shows this word 204 times. That is pretty impressive.
The first one to show up on dictionary.com was this one:
[and endurance produces character, and character produces hope]
which is actually the middle of a scripture reference from Romans 5:4
Full verse: Romans 5:3-5 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.
The definition of endurance is this: the ability or strength to continue or last, especially despite fatigue, stress or other adverse conditions.
My paraphrase of the verse: When we have hard and difficult times our character develops through those experiences, and then that character we received, produces a new hope within us.
I am sure we have all been there at least once in our lives.
Sometimes I have felt like my character should be done by now.
I want to say to God, no more please.
But God continues to say to us:
Romans 12:12 Rejoice in our confident hope.
Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
1 Corinthians 13:13 Three things will last forever – faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these is love.
Psalm 119:49 Remember your promise to me; it is my only hope.
I believe hope is powerful.
It brings awareness that there will be something better for us.
To the parent in the hospital room, waiting for an answer or breakthrough, hope is vital, critical and life giving.
It encourages the will to not give up.
Think of the prisoners of war who survived terrible things because of the hope within them.
From dictionary.com – “to look forward to with desire and
reasonable confidence. to believe. trust.”
Hebrews 11:11 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
Hope.
Remember the time when Jesus was born, they were waiting for a Savior to come rescue them.
This person, this Messiah would save them.
It was hope that kept them waiting and asking, ‘is this the one?’
It’s sad though, because what they were expecting, was not what they received.
God gave them a baby. An infant. A king who would grow up into his ‘power’ and authority, with teachings and lessons and then he would return back to his father.
They could not grasp or accept this infant as ‘their hope.’
Only Simeon and Anna knew for sure the meaning of ‘hope’, having waited for years for that right moment when they could meet him.
Isn’t that just like us sometimes. Our preconceived ideas of how God will provide for us often times, stop us from ‘grasping and taking hold of’ the hope he provides for us right in front of us.
We do not see through spiritual eyes.
Our vision is blurred… while we wait and we lose so much by not trusting.
Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer,
Can you see how important hope is to us?

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