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Spring is a time for flowers and birthdays

Spring is a time for flowers and birthdays.
It’s always so delightful to have the first few warm days of spring after the winter’s rain.
This part of Oregon is known for rain and overcast skies and when we are treated with a spring warmth and blue skies we all try to go out and enjoy it.The flowers are beginning to bloom. Crocus tiny purple and yellow colors, buds of daffodils and beginning tulips peek out from under the dirt. Our children were both born in March. First our son and then our daughter.
Our son Christopher was such a surprise. We were young in our marriage and learning how to navigate adult hood and then parenting, back then they didn’t have all the tests to tell you what your baby would be.
It was a wonderful surprise.
He turned 43. A man now with son’s of his own. His wife Sarah also born in March and the same age.
Then our daughter Sarah will be 40 this week.
Life is passing us by and it is just so quick.
Those days of raising babies, a blur to the memory. Where did we live? what did we do? how did we survive?
Then the puppies and kitties added to our mix of children and days of daycare.
I was back then considered; a stay at home mom.
I wanted to be home, in fact I took in day care kids to help pay for extra things we needed.
It was something that we both wanted and felt it to be important for us as a family.
When I think of birthdays and spring, it reminds me of new beginnings.
Every year we have a chance to make things better, and more personal.
A time of renewing and restarting.With both of our children in their 40’s it feels like we are getting older and hopefully wiser.
We are grandparents to 6 wonderful children all very different.
Spring is a time for flowers, birthdays and remembering.
All the wonderful things that make our lives rich and beautiful.

The story and legacy of a man

The story and legacy of a man’s life was on the internet today.
The reverend Billy Graham was laid to rest in the Billy Graham gardens.
He was ninety nine when he died, lived a good long life and one that was watched both near and far.
He was a man of integrity and honor and he was someone who most people respected.
The service was amazing and simple. The music was the same, simple and pure.
The legacy He left behind was one of deep faith and rich words sharing the gospel wherever he would go.
Many times I have watched the altar call, as a choir would sing, “Just as I am.”
As hundreds and hundreds of people would walk forward to give their lives to Jesus.
It never got old. Come as you are, HE is waiting for you.
I am sure the stories his family would tell would perhaps be different than what we hear.
We all know every family has ‘moments’ that they could share that are not public.
The wonderful heritage and legacy of parents who loved well, is a rare find.
It would have been a great honor to meet him. Someday in Heaven that is possible.
As I listened to the children now grown talk about “my daddy”, I felt the lump in my throat.
Tender words, spoken about a man who aged into the late senior years.
“Good bye, daddy.” They said, before leaving the podium.
The stories from their hearts shared with emotion and memory.
I watched a very special tribute to a very special man today.
We all have a chance to leave a legacy. Not necessarily like Billy Graham but we do have influence and a circle of those around us who follow our words and actions.
May we do it well, so that at the time of our parting and the time for those to remember us, do so in a kind and loving way… with a memory of legacy and faith.

Time seems to be passing quickly

Time seems to be passing by so quickly these days.
Yesterday as my husband and I were driving to the beach I realized it is the first of March.
In fact once we got to the beach I had to do some scrambling to pay a bill that was due the first as I had spaced out that February was ending.
Getting old has it’s moments I guess. Seems like we just had Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Spring will be just around the corner and we will enjoy some sunny days of warmth and newness.I am by nature one who loves the rain and the coolness of our climate but sometimes it is good to have a sunny warm day.
My husband and I go to a Christian camp and he volunteers his time helping out with a much needed list of things to get done. Normally in his work world he is an engineer designing dental equipment but sometimes when given the opportunity he loves to be on the farm equipment.
He is actually retired but working just a few days a week now for a few months.
I am often sitting in the office or today I am in my trailer and enjoying the warmth of heat, coffee and time alone.
I walk the trails when it’s warmer and enjoy the flowers of the coast and the oceans landscape of flowers and sand.The Oregon coast range is often cold and rainy and it’s a wonderful majestic time of beauty and force of nature.
It is raining outside and very cloudy  not sure if I will get a walk in today the wind is cold and it’s nice to be cozy by the heater.
These pictures were from a different time here at the beach.
Another place I love to visit is what they have named a conversation pit. I imagine people sitting and sharing matters of heart or soul and enjoying the time together around a fire perhaps making smores. This is a special beach for us.
We will always have a fondness of heart for this place.
It’s nothing special yet it is… and it is a place for spiritual growth if one allows themselves to listen to the quiet and peace of the day. I have already told my husband should I pass away before him, I want to be placed here where I will be remembered.
Near the crosses and near the ocean that roars constantly.There are three crosses overlooking the ocean high upon a hill… reminding me of the song ‘the old rugged cross.’

One of the first writings in my 2010 book

One of the first writings in my 2010 book was about our first grand daughter Faith Elizabeth.

Her name is Faith ~ February 2nd, 2010
Our oldest grand daughter was a preemie, arriving early weighing only 2 pounds and 11 ounces and she was 17 inches long.
She was due in July and came in May surprising all of us. She was bright eyed and very tiny.
Our first experience in grand parenting. It was scary and we were filled with prayer and concern.
She had to stay in the neonatal side of the baby unit for a few weeks moving from one side to the other.
After several weeks she was allowed to come home, weighing only 3 pounds 9 ounces.
She was healthy and precious and I knew I had to be a part of this little child’s life.
Our daughter had to go back to work and I quit my job so I could stay home with our little Faith.
She started out sleeping in an old fashioned wicker bassinet basket I found in an antique store.
When she slept in it she looked like a tiny baby doll. As she grew we moved her upstairs to her crib.
I would leave the baby monitor on so I could hear her as I did assorted things downstairs.
She knew it was her room and we had a schedule that worked well for all of us.
As she grew older she would wake up slowly in her room and play quietly.
I had the monitor on so I could hear whether I needed to get her right away or not.
My favorite memories are of her waking up and talking to her menagerie of dolls, bears and blankets.
I would sit downstairs and listen to her wonderful baby noises, we laugh about it now.
She is almost 11 and in 5th grade and she would say to me, “tell me about the time I was talking upstairs” and I would give her the full report of my memory.
When she was waking up I would hear her say, “I am running” and I could hear the squeaking of the crib mattress, or she would say, “Nama I am jumping” and I could her feet scuffed on the mattress pads.
I learned she needed to wake up slowly to be in a better mood.
After awhile the room was quiet and I would hear her say, “Nama come get me, I want out.”
The sad pitiful voice, knowing she could not yet climb out of the crib by herself.

As I think of this scene I often wonder, if God had a monitor on us what would he hear us say?
Would he hear, “daddy I am running, jumping running to you. I need you please come get me”
I wonder does he smile just as I did for my grand daughter when he hears us?
We can open the door to our heart just as I opened the door to her room.
I would see her reach out to me for she knew I was safe, she knew I was her rescuer.
She knew when I would take her out of the room, she was held by the one who loved her.
My challenge today is this: do we allow God to delight in us and ask him to rescue us?
Do we realize sometimes we cannot get out of a situation without his help?
Just as Faith could not get out of her crib, without me.
We need to know we need him in the same way. He rescues and protects and rejoices in us.
Just as I did for my precious little grandbaby.

There was an advantage of not knowing

There was an advantage of not knowing what I was doing in the beginning.
I wasn’t controlled by rules of writing or how to get readers or even the ‘right way to write’.
I was just lead slowly and surely by the spirit of the Lord and that is how it all began.
Each day I set aside some time for writing. Even if it was just a small amount.
It felt as if I was lead to share and to move forward and it was all new and good.
Often times I would use sermon notes to give me an idea.
Sometimes I would think of everyday activities and how that would become a blog post.
At first I would think of a topic and then google a picture and then add it into my post.
Years later I know now that is not the correct way to do a blog, in fact it’s not a wise thing to do.
If one wants to do pictures within a blog it has to be one that is taken by yourself or borrowed with permission from the original print owner.
The other thing I learned; was how to water mark the pictures using pic monkey.
It is all such a learning curve just like anything we choose to do.
Time and effort create a positive result.
It’s not hard if someone just takes on the challenge, if that is what your heart is calling you to do.
Some people sew as a hobby, or paint or teach exercise classes.
I choose to write and what I write about depends on what is going on within my heart or home.
Again the question tries to create doubt, who would want to read it?
That can’t be a stumbling block or a discouragement.
A well known writer has once said, “we write for one.”
The audience of one, Our God and then adding to that, ourselves.
So just a little more history of why it all began and how it began.
Are you ready for some early reading? Let the sharing begin.

The reason and the purpose came clear

The reason and the purpose for my writing came clear to me as I was creating the ‘my page’ in my first blog book.
I knew every author does a ‘paragraph’ thanking others who were walking them through it and I had to create my own thankful page.
In doing that I realized the reason why I did this.

– Something to think about -2010- In your quiet moments
To my family and friends.
Something to think about was birthed after much prayer. I thank God who gave me the courage to write this and I thank my husband who was beside me through the process. From my heart I leave a legacy of words for those who I love and care for, through this journey I have learned about love, life, faith and family bonding.

It was a bit rough around the edges but the sentiment was exactly right.
A legacy of words. That is why I write.
So that someday my grandchildren could have something tangible in their hands written by grandma.
Not just an old picture of me that becomes a dim memory, as we all have those.
Words written and read are like small gifts we can unwrap and enjoy.
You learn a lot about someone when you read their words and their ideas about life.
I have some letters and cards given to me from those who I care for and each time I read them I am moved back into time.
That is the gift of memory.
The reason why it is written; is just as important as to who it is written.
Words came easy to me in the beginning because there were so many stored away in compartments.
I saw life in the form of words, or stories to be shared or experiences that could be put in a story.
Is that not like a writer? to ask what can I glean from this?
I never thought of myself as a writer but as time has moved me forward, I have found peace in that title.
From the moment I chose to make this a place for words from my heart, the legacy or something handed down from the past began.
I pray it continues to not only bless those who read it but challenge them too.
That is the reason I sit tapping away each week, spending hours upon hours choosing words.
A legacy of words. Just as nice as an antique porcelain tea cup, only more tangible and treasured.

The self talk that almost stopped me

The self talk that almost stopped me in the beginning was the negative process of words.
I didn’t have enough belief in myself to think that I could actually write something, that would have impact on someone who was reading.
Growing up in a home that was not encouraging it was really hard for me to pull up, “you got this” even after all those years.
Not only was it hard to write the words; the scariest part was to even imagine someone reading them.
My counselor was paid to read and reflect with me.
That is so much different than someone ‘reading’ because they want to.
One of the scariest things I have ever done was to open the blog to the general public or audience of who I didn’t even know.
My mind was full of ‘what if’s .
What if it wasn’t good enough, what if I embarrassed myself, what if I failed miserably, what if someone chooses to steal my words?
So much that could discourage a young writer and I had to make the decision to not listen, to the what if fears, for it could smother all creativity and was that the purpose?
No the purpose was to share from my heart and to follow the leading of what God had began.
Philipians 1:6
[being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.]
I had to trust in this process and continue on just as anyone who wants to be better.
If you want to learn how to hike, you buy good shoes, good socks, you create a path and you move forward.
Every step is a direct result of wanting new results and new hopes for yourself.
We don’t challenge ourselves when we stop. We challenge ourselves when we move past the fears.
Occasionally I would receive a good word from someone and even though it was hard to receive, it was a building block of belief for me.
In order to do what God had pressed within me through the power of suggestion, I had to write on a regular schedule and I had to not worry.
The journey continues and hopefully will continue as time allows. The story is not finished till the words are all shared. (path photo from Laurie H in west linn) .

This beginnning of the story as I moved forward

The beginning of the story as I moved forward; was to learn how the blending mixture of words worked for me throughout the process of writing.
As I sorted out the reason why I wanted to write the challenge was becoming more clear.
Not only did my husband challenge me but I challenged myself in discovering what was important.
In the earlier years when I was growing up journaling was my way of putting feelings on paper so I didn’t have to hold them in so much.
In counseling it is a powerful process of healing and sharing for sometimes words cannot be spoken but they can be written without any rules.
It is a healing place to share and to let the words find their place in a solid form on paper.
In therapy I knew my counselor would read the words before I got in the room so we had ‘topic’ to work on.
When writing on the blog, I didn’t allow myself to think of who would read them or have fear of the power of words that were written.
I just moved forward in baby steps feeling confident that this was a good direction.
As the blog emerged the lessons learned through the process of discovery were; to find a name, find a banner or heading and figure out a brand.
I didn’t know what all that meant but as it took place the birth of the blog happened.
A very special friend of ours made the heading banner for me which is exactly what I wanted.
At the time there were free sites that would hold your blog as a service so I began on blogger.
It was easy to figure out and since I was a new ‘writer’ I didn’t have the expert advise showing me what to do or not to do.
As I grew in the knowledge I realized that the Lord was leading me each direction and as I took courses it was clear to me that what they were sharing was already done.
How funny it was to me that I didn’t even know what I was doing, yet I was doing it right.
I made business cards that looked the same as the blog name and I made it personal using the three crosses that are found at camp Winema on the Oregon coast.Everything needed to match and what I wanted to create was identity.
The goal was to have something personal and creative so that every time someone saw that name it would be a connection to my blog.
This is the beginning of the story and the reasons why I have chosen to write, connection and identity.
In sharing some of my story or writings I hope it can challenge others to do the same.
Without the risk we lose the opportunity to bless others.

The journey of writing began after I decided to retire

The journey of writing began months after my decision to retire from my pharmacy job.
After working full time for many years, it was both refreshing to have free time and a little bit confusing as to what my days would look like.
I found myself slightly bored and not sure of what to do with the time that was now available to me.
My husband mentioned that I should start a blog.
I had no idea what a blog was and I didn’t have any idea what I would write about.
Why would I think anyone would want to read anything I would put on a page?
My husband again challenged me to tell my story.
Since I was still in counseling at the time I didn’t know what that would look like.
My counselor shared with me his feelings on the idea and told me he felt I was qualified to write.
So one day I sat down in front of the computer and googled blog and then googled blog sites and figured out; after a time of prayer what I wanted ‘my personal page to look like.’
I learned how to pace myself and how to take baby steps and how to share things that were once hidden.
I didn’t want anyone to read the words for it was personal to me and very similar to a diary.
Tapping on the keyboard brought healing as I put into words the feelings that were stored away.
The first few years the blog was private only for those who I chose to be active readers.
I was scared of criticism and also scared of sharing my part of what I remembered about life growing up.
I had to face those feelings and allow myself to write in an open hearted way without fear of judgement.
For a few weeks I may bring out a few of those old writings.
It began in the year 2010 and here I am in 2018 still writing and still sharing.
Only time has matured my style and ways of getting around a sentence.
I didn’t want to make my blog public but again my husband said, “If you were to write a book, would you always know who was going to read it or purchase it?”
No of course not. The idea is to write a book and sell it to whoever likes it. That was his point.
He said to me, “tell your story so others can be blessed by it.”
The journey of writing began when I finally decided to not hide anymore.
Hopefully in sharing some of those early posts you can see how far ‘I have come’… in my healing. The fear is not in starting our journey. It is not being true to ourselves to finish it.

After we have challenged ourselves

After we have challenged ourselves to think in different ways and think of different words to use.
It would be fair for us to say, ‘this is new and I need time’ to learn how to do this.
When I am sharing with someone I can say, “Every Thursday we go to the beach and it brings me joy and peace to listen to the ocean and set the time aside to write here in this safe place.”
Now I could have said, “I love the beach…” Which would be true but the descriptive words I used made the sentence more personal as it told the story of how it felt for me.
One can visualize the ocean, and the sounds of the waves, then the quiet tapping on a keyboard.
Often I think we take the easy way around language and sharing; to make it less difficult for us and those reading.
I tend to write the way I present myself in person and often that is in word pictures but also to the point of facts.
For example, “The sky is grey today.” When you read that you pictured in your mind a grey sky.
But if I said, “The sky is full of multiple colors of grey with a mixture of sun breaks and a bit of wind.”
Did you see it differently?
Our words paint a picture for those who are reading them.
I think as a writer it’s important to make the point known and my goal is always to leave a bit of ‘wondering’ when the reader is finished.
That is why when I began this journey of blogging I prayed for a name and I heard the words, “something to think about.”
I want those to walk away with a sort of ‘AH Ha moment’ as well as a challenge for thinking.
My husband’s dad as he moved into the journey of memory loss, would often say to my husband, “I’ve never been on this road before”, and it was the same road he traveled many times.
That is what I want for this ‘space’ when someone is reading it.
It is my hope that my words do not repeat themselves and do encourage those who faithfully read them.
I want them to walk away with, “I’ve never thought of it that way before.”
Writing is hard work and those who do it often know how important it is to make it simple to read yet powerful in presentation.
It’s kind of like our songs at church that stay with us throughout the week. Simple yet meaningful too.
As we challenge ourselves to think in different ways let’s challenge each other in the journey too.

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