by Sharon O | Nov 1, 2010 | Uncategorized
November 1st.
The beginning of a new month and a new season…
it’s a time of giving thanks and pulling our hearts into a new direction.
Thanksgiving when I was growing up was actually a very special day.
In the midst of the chaos of a strange and distant home we always knew that thanksgiving was at our grandma’s house. Actually it was grandma and grandpa’s house but he was often a silent figure sitting in his upholstered rocker swivel chair next to the side table holding his coffee or snacks.
For many years grandma did all the shopping cooking and preparing.
She would shop for days and make sure all the food was ready for cooking.
The dining room table decorated with china and crystal goblets along with fancy napkins and other accessories that went along with a beautiful table. Usually there would be a wonderful fresh flower arrangement and candles near by.
I will always remember how the multi colored lighting reflected off the dining room light making the ceiling a kaleidoscope of beauty and color.
As little girls we would anticipate the day at grandma’s.
Starting our day watching the Macy’s thanksgiving day parade on the console tv. Then prepping ourselves with showers or baths and setting out nice clothes for it was not a day for jeans… it was a day for pretty outfits and hair done. (I still remember the pink foam rollers wrapped around forming curls in my very straight hair).
I will always remember the china and the crystal and the forks and spoons ‘just for’ the pickles olives and cranberries. The turkey would cook and the potatoes would boil and grandma would stir and cut and prep the olives and pickles and we would gather in the kitchen and the guys would gather in the living room. There was always ladies chatter and men’s chatter not really saying much in the process.
It is funny now for me to think back because even though the dinner was fancy and proper and wonderfully made. The conversation was ‘stilted’ and maybe not even real. As children we didn’t really know that but later as the years moved on it became more true that the tradition was just that…
dinner at grandma’s.
Not a family reunion of warmth and love.
I am not saying we didn’t love each other, it was different. It was more out of obligation than wanting to be there in a warm and welcoming setting.
In the home my husband and I have made our thanksgiving is just as fancy.
That was a rule I brought into the relationship… that holidays were to be special.
A time for celebration and remembering.
We serve on china and crystal and with matching assorted plates and bowls, we have cloth napkins matching the cloth tablecloths. It is a tradition of beauty captured by my grandma and passed down from me to our children.
The difference is the conversation and the mood.
We thank God for the beauty and the bounty and the children’s voices and the hum of soft music. We are thankful for life is truly a gift for us to enjoy and give out.
We are thankful as we look upon the faces connected to us by family history.
I remain thankful for grandma’s traditional beautiful table setting and all that she showed me.
Even the lesson to ask and listen and ask more and listen deeper.
For in the faces of family and through the blessing of the meal…
we will join our hearts together.
I pray this November will be… for new traditions… new love and new life.
What do you pray for?
by Sharon O | Oct 29, 2010 | Uncategorized
Ann Voscamp writes a beautiful blog called ‘A Holy Experience’.
If you have never experienced her style of writing and her words from the heart I encourage you to add yourself on her blog list. You can click onto it from the emblem on the right in my favorite section.
A few weeks ago there was a writing conference in Hershey Pennsylvania called The Relevant conference. Ann was one of the speakers and so many of the ladies who attended it have been writing about their thoughts and feelings this last week. It is has been such a blessing to read them and see what God has done. Ann was just one of the many speakers who shared their hearts and their words from God to a group of ladies who were searching and who went with the hopes to improve their writing and increase their readers.
They say that is not what they learned.
It wasn’t about ‘blog readership’ it was about the Lord meeting them in a new and deeper way.
One of the blogs I read shared what Ann said to them and I am now going to share it with you.
I hope it is ok to do that.
I felt the words were so real and so true they must be shared whether you know who Ann is or not. This blog is often about healing and God’s ability to take what was broken and make it whole again. Sometimes it is different but most of the time is returns to the question, “how are you doing with God?”
This is what the blog writer shared from Ann:
You don’t have to come to the keyboard knowing what you are going to say. It comes from God to us to heal us and then through our story to heal another. Story is the way the Spirit of God binds our wounds. When these words find their mark. God heals two hearts ~ yours and mine.
When I read this I said ‘YES’ to myself.
That is what this blog has been for… to share stories of hope and healing.
To share that we must often step back and think about the journey we have been walking and living before we can press forward.
To share what God is doing in and through the power of words~ good and bad.
Someday I want to go to the relevant conference but not to go and find out how to increase blog numbers or readers or visits. But to go and find out how to focus in and draw deeply from the well of God’s grace and mercy and wisdom and love. So that can be shared in a deep and meaningful way to those who read.
This blog has always been God’s.
It is not about me and I hope it has not reflected a ‘me’ attitude.
Some things shared might be personal but the intention is always to challenge the readers into a new and deeper ‘way’ of thinking.
I hope it does… I hope it challenges… I hope it encourages…I hope it shows a peaceful gentle spirit who ‘sits’ with me in the chair as I write and listen and then push ‘publish’.
The prayer from my heart is give the reader ‘something to think about’ and give God the glory in the process.
If that ever changes and the story becomes different.
I will close down the blog and end it.
by Sharon O | Oct 27, 2010 | Uncategorized
What is the main attribute of Jesus that is rarely talked about?
Our Pastor posed this question.
In all honesty I said, “He always chose to do the will of the Father.”
Others said, “He was gentle… He was loving… He was patient…
He had compassion.”
These are all true and all a part of who Jesus is and was.
The question goes deeper than that.
Dictionary.com summarizes it as:
Attribute: a characteristic quality or symbol of a particular person.
Our Pastor said:
“We must remember Jesus as the Lion of Judah, strong, courageous,
bold with power and strong intent. When demons met him they ‘knew’ who he was.
“He was never intimidated by them HE was intimidating.”
The Son of the Most High knew what to say and do, and the ones who were terrorizing the people became the terrorized by the one who held the most power.
Jesus was not afraid of them or scared of who they were.
Mark 5:1-5
They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes. When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an evil spirit came from the tombs to meet him. This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him any more, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons with his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones. When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? Swear to God that you won’t torture me!” For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you evil spirit!”
Jesus was not afraid of the evil that came from behind the spirits in this man.
Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”
Pastor said at this time the man who was known as ‘the evil one’ had lived for years in the rocks and no one wanted anything to do with him. He said,”For the first time in years, someone was asking the man,
“Who are you and what is your name?”
It is an identity issue and it is relational. (I care for you as a person who are you?)
The story goes on as Jesus sends the demons into pigs which were symbolic at the time as unclean and over a cliff to die . Then in vs. 15 the story continues:
When they (the towns people) came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. vs 17 Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region.
(why… because they saw and were afraid of his power)
As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. (wouldn’t you? He just saved his life and his identity)
Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.”
(Go home to your family who hasn’t seen you for years)
Jesus said ‘GO Home and tell them who healed you.’
That speaks of responsibility to move forward and away from what you were.
Pastor said, “So many times your past defines who you are now. It bullies you and it makes your identity not what it really is in the present moment. When you are intimidated you lack faith.”
The man who was healed was no longer the man hiding in the rocks.
He was different… he was released… and he was able to sit with a sound mind in the presence of Jesus. (A word was spoken and a life was changed forever)
Isn’t that just awesome that Jesus would reach out and change this man who didn’t even ask to be changed?
Jesus was not intimidated by demons and he was not afraid of them. He said to them ‘MOVE out’ and then he sent them with his words to their death.
Jesus was not intimidated he was intimidating.
The demons knew who he was… they knew about his power and they were afraid of him.
The man in the rocks was identified as a ‘mean spirited possessed person’ by the circumstances he had been living in. It wasn’t his real self. It was a ‘circumstance’ or situation he could not over come by himself.
Pastor ended by saying:
Being intimidated means I am being in the presence of a threat… being intimidating recognizes that I am present with a being that isn’t threatened.
A few questions for us to ask:
What circumstance do we want to find ourselves in?
What identity are we going to link to:
Someone who is hiding in the rocks or someone who has a renewed mind sitting in the presence of Jesus?
by Sharon O | Oct 25, 2010 | Uncategorized
It seems that the theme lately has been life changing moments.
Not sure what God is trying to show me or teach me but I am ready and willing to learn from the lessons given. In a moment in time everything changes from one ‘place in time to another’ one memory to another or one ‘season to another’.
Today my husband’s dad ~ my father in law who is 88 years old lost his dear old dog.
After 11 years of spending time together yesterday she went into a ‘stroke’ type situation and was admitted into the dog hospital. Within hours he was admitted to a hospital too.
Anxiety and stress created heart issues for him. It was looking like a heart attack but not really sure… one cannot be sure until the test results are back from the lab.
Abby the dog died today she was over 14 years old.
She was in surgery when the vet realized she was full of cancer and as an old dog she was not going to get better. He checked with dad’s daughter and made sure it was a good choice. Dad was still in the hospital when Abby left for good it was really the only choice left for her in order for her to not suffer.
When we found Abby she was a few years old and she was an energetic pup. At the time when I found her on line a young couple was moving to Guam and the quarantine for her would be so costly they decided to give her away. We met her and the first time she saw dad and mom she realized this old couple needed help she got up off the floor and she moved closer to dad as if to say ‘WELL when are we going home’.
She realized she had a job to do and she ‘assigned herself the job’ of being a hearing and aide dog. They took her home and got her settled and she got to work right away. The phone would ring and because mom and dad had hearing issues Abby would bark and stare at the phone she would tap it and bark until they answered it. She would wake them up in the morning with a bark and she would wake them up if someone came to the door. Her bark was loud and sometimes a shrill sound but she assigned herself the job of being a hearing-watch dog and whatever it took to do the job she did it. She was excellent at her job and she impressed whoever came into the door to visit. Before she came to live with them she was an average family dog. After moving in she had a mission in her heart and an important goal and meaning for her life.
When mom O got sick Abby stayed by her side not wanting to leave. She would lay there and just ‘wait’ and watch each hospice person as they came and left. Checking on mom to see if they left her comfortable and resting. After mom O died Abby stayed close beside dad O. She was his shadow and she was never going to leave him. She would go outside to play and then want to come right back in to sit by his side.
We knew she didn’t want to leave his side. Today she did… it was out of her control.
He is in the hospital tonight with symptoms that won’t let him come home and he is resting with a grieving heart missing his dog terribly but understanding that she had to leave.
It is a story of a man and his dog.
Of love with a different meaning and a relationship that was full of helping one another.
Today Abby left for good.Tomorrow Dad O will have to go for a walk alone. Ride in his car alone. And sit in his chair alone.It is sad and it is his life now and it is a journey we all must face at some point in time.
Saying goodbye to a ‘life time love’ then saying good bye to a helper and guide and a ‘shadow’ that never chose to or wanted to leave. Today Abby left for good. Good bye miss Abby…
you were a good girl and you loved dad and mom a lot. Be at peace old girl.
Heaven is waiting for you to run and jump and bark and play. Maybe you can have a new job there…
Can you watch mom O for us now? I am sure she will be happy to see you.
Take care of her for us ~ you have a new job assigned to you now. Go do it with all the gusto you have within you and make us proud. You go girl and maybe you will find some pine cones along your way.
by Sharon O | Oct 24, 2010 | Uncategorized
Continuing on the life changing moments theme.
This week was one of the most exciting in a long time.
Our friends at church were waiting for a visa to come through and be approved.
The Scottish preacher named Scotty was leaving to go home to Scotland.
His wife was waiting on her visa. It didn’t come and it didn’t come.
His plane ticket was paid for and he was leaving today to go to back to Scotland.
He hoped she would go too but he couldn’t wait for her because of the expiration date of his own visa.
We prayed and prayed down to the last few days left before he was leaving.
At last her visa came in on Thursday and they finally could book a flight together.
This morning they were loaded on the plane ready to face the new chapter of their lives together.
God is good and awesome and miracles do still happen.
It was an exciting experience to see the prayers of many answered just in time.
The other exciting thing that happened in our church.
We have a young couple who was expecting triplets. YES I said ‘three’.
She is tiny probably around 5 foot 1 inch and her normal weight about 110 pounds.
The babies were growing and she became larger and larger finally she was put on bed rest.
The babies were due the last part of November early part of December.
Last Tuesday she was rushed to the hospital as one of her babies lost some water.
They were able to put her on bed rest again and monitor the babies and wait till they were older and it was safer to deliver.
She was at 34 weeks and really too early to deliver the doctor was hoping for 11 more days.
Yesterday she woke up with severe labor and the C section was scheduled as quickly as possible and at 34 weeks and 5 days the boys were born.
Elliott weighed in at 4 lbs 6 oz, Tucker weighed in at 3 lbs 15 oz, and Oliver was 5 lbs 8oz. They all were near 17-18 inches long and they are healthy and needing very little intervention.
Today two of them have to have help with their breathing using a ‘cpap’ which is normal for preemies and the bigger one is doing fine breathing on his own.
GOD protected them and preserved their health and the health of the mommy.
Life changing moments for a family.
In the matter of a few minutes of time they became parents of 3 precious little boys. Adding to their family with another son waiting at home with grandparents. They will have four babies under two as soon as they all get home and get settled. A busy house full of excitement and fatique they are a ‘new’ family with many blessings ahead of them.
God is in the process of changing people through life changing moments.
We all have these moments where all of a sudden things are different for us.
Life as we knew it is changed forever.
In a moment of time:
One couple was on a plane heading to Scotland thanking God for an answer to their prayers.
The other couple enjoying the new experience of ‘being parents’ of multiples and thanking God for protecting and keeping them all safe through the process.
Life changing moments.
Lord God may we thankful and always lean on you as we journey through the many changes of life as we live it.
For you are the one who we draw strength from and we thank you for caring for every part of our lives as we seek you.
Praise you God for these miracles and moments of knowing that YOU are in control no matter how much we worry and wait.
You are God and we thank you for taking care of us all.
by Sharon O | Oct 20, 2010 | Uncategorized
I have a question for you.
Our Pastor asked us the other day:
Can you identify your life changing moments?
The moments in time when you did a direct turn around and life as you knew it was different.
Remember when I shared my testimony about how God heard the prayers of an unsaved broken little 15 year old.
Who didn’t know how to pray to a Holy God?
He heard the prayer anyway… He listened…He stopped and saw through my empty self and discarded rules about prayer.
He was more concerned about my heart condition.
Life changing moments can be any thing and can be very different for each of us.
We all have had them and it really would be good to take notice of them.
My first: the answer to prayer from a searching heart
My second: the saving love of a Savior to someone who didn’t understand love
My third: the protection and deep abiding compassion of a Savior who cared for me
There are many many more life changing moments but these are just a sample.
Do you remember yours?
Can you write them down and document them?
What were they and how did they effect you?
How old were you when they happened?
I challenge you to remember…it is important to your walk with the Lord.
Just as in the old testament when things were done and recorded we too should record our ‘life changing moments’ so we can tell others.
I am sure the disciples could all identify and remember when Jesus came by them and said, “Come follow me.”
I am sure the women at the well could identify and remember every word when Jesus said to her, “Go and sin no more.”(especially after she realized HE knew her life for what it was).
I am sure the blind man who was given sight could identify and remember exactly how Jesus gave light to his dark world.
I am sure the crippled man who had been on the mat for 30 plus years could identify and remember the words that were said when he picked up his mat and started to walk for the first time.
Life changing… moments in time… where all of a sudden you know this will be a different day.
You remember the words, the conversations, the tone of the moment?
Can you remember them… the ones that forever changed you?
Pastor said to us, “Decide what will hold you back and what will it take to find a new passion for God.” We cannot hold back we must move forward and move past our blocked heart condition.
Your life changing moments were not accidental they were orchestrated by God the Almighty.
Isn’t that enough to bring new passion for Him?
I challenge you today to remember and thank Him for the moments in time that changed you forever.
by Sharon O | Oct 18, 2010 | Uncategorized
I am moving away from my normal blog style tonight.
Felt the need to write something that was pressing on my spirit triggered by a season and time.
I hope for my readers it is not to difficult to share~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A writing…
So many wounded and broken ones in a crowd so large.
Look around… and listen… Look around and see… With the eyes of Jesus.
If it was possible for us to see their aching hearts we could touch their pain~
But in the process of reaching out we scare them away for touch was not an inviting gesture in their day to day’s events.
We cautiously say “we care” and hope that it does not get interpreted as…
“I want something from you.”
We say to them “we will listen” but we know it will take great patience for words are difficult to process and say…
when the wounded ones were supposed to be quiet and never share.
Recovery is slow. Recovery means to move with caution.
Layers upon layers have to be pulled back and healed.
It is a slow ‘Holy Spirit’ moving of a soul
gently tugging and healing the broken heart…
reaching in and bringing peace to a ‘fragile’ place inside to the one who is hurting.
What was once thought to be ‘dirty’ becomes redeemed.
What was once thought to be ‘broken’ becomes whole.
The fatigue of holding in so much lays heavy on ones heart.
It is like a thick blanket smothering the life out of the one walking without a soul…
into the world where everything looks normal.
The ability to pretend becomes more and more less able.
Words cannot come out unless invited.
Words cannot come out unless one is ready.
Words cannot come out unless there is safety.
Prayers are needed for the wounded ones to share.
Prayers are needed for the ones who are listening.
Prayers are needed for hearts of compassion
to sit and hear and not judge or get angry…
in the presence of the broken fractured one
who could be sharing a story for the first time.
Only God can do this work of miracles.
Only God with spiritual hands can reach in and touch~
the broken hearts and souls of the wounded ones.
Church…
A place where the wounded ones can come to the altar without fear…
and be healed.
Church…
A place where the gentleness of Jesus can place an arm across the shoulders of those who fear and don’t understand the gentleness.
Church…
A place where lives can be restored and renewed and
the broken negative tapes in confused heads
can be replaced with praise and worship ones.
Church…
A place where destruction can be replaced with value
and discontent can be restored with hope.
So many wounded ones in a crowd so large…
Look around and listen… Look around and see…
And ask yourself…
Are we willing to be the eyes and hands and feet of Jesus
to a world so desperate for healing.
by Sharon O | Oct 14, 2010 | Uncategorized
Grandma learned something important.
Not long ago I was showing my grand daughter Faith my blog.
She was happy to see ‘herself’ in a few photo’s and she was reading what I had written about her camp and her fair days and her life. She thought it was pretty neat and was even excited to see it all then she then asked me, “Are you going to write about my mom or put a picture of her on your blog?”
I said well I can but I have to ask permission first it is not right to just ‘assume’ she would want me to share her ‘life’ with my readers. Faith looked at me with a puzzled look and said, “Well you didn’t ask my permission.”
Oh wow how true those words were.
I had just assumed that it was alright to post them and technically it is alright with her but she is absolutely sending me a message and teaching me something in the process. I did not call and ask her permission and I didn’t ask if I could post a picture or even talk to her about what my plans were.
This lead me to think about other issues around children.
Have you ever watched people at the store or other places with children?
People will go up to a baby and touch their face or their hair and say, “Oh aren’t you so sweet?”
Why do we feel it is acceptable to touch a child when we would never go up to an adult and touch their face and say, “You are so beautiful.”
We don’t pat them on the head and say ‘Hi’. Why would we not do that?
Because it is a boundary issue and we would be in their personal space.
It is called ‘your personal bubble space’ around you. Others need to stand back and ask first if they can enter your ‘space with you’. It is really disrespectful for us to assume that a child might want us to touch their head or hold their hand. They should be able to say “NO” that is what we teach them when we teach
‘good touch~bad touch’.
So why do we assume that they ‘wish for us’ to be in their space or share part of their life with others?
Children need respect just as adults do.
I was wrong to put Faith on my blog without asking permission first.
She was not mad at me she wasn’t even disappointed but she did make a point in telling me ‘You didn’t ask’. She is eleven and in sixth grade she should be able to use her voice and say, ‘You can share Or not’.
I stand corrected. As a grandma I went against everything my heart stands for.
The protection of children and the right for them to have a voice.
From now on if I share anything ‘personal or show a picture’ I will do my best to get permission from the one who I am writing about.
I hope this gives us all something ‘new’ to think about.
Have you ever shared something or told something about someone without asking permission first?
If you did how did you deal with it after you realized your mistake?
by Sharon O | Oct 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
In keeping with the topic of the seminar I went to a few weeks ago.
I was searching through my notes that were taken during the sessions and found a few tidbits that are worth sharing.
The speaker said, “There are three voices that will keep you away from God and His purpose for you.”
The ‘chatter of comparison.’
The ‘insane scream of perfectionism.’
The ‘whispers of the illusion of control.’
Each one of these resonated with me.
Comparison is really hard because often times I see a house and I say, “wow I wish ours was that nice and pretty outside. The presentation is so welcoming. I wish we had that type of entry way, I wish our kitchen was bigger, I wish we had that much room, I wish….. ” continuing on with my discontent.
When I say that out loud I am becoming less thankful and less content for the home we have and live in. It is a nice home.
It is peaceful.
No it is not updated to ‘todays’ standards of granite counter tops and elaborate decor but it is adequate and comfortable and it is ours.
I feel safe here.
When I compare I lose sight of how God has blessed us.
Perfectionism was something I had to put down and let go when we first got married.
My mother was a perfectionist and very compulsive… every thing had a place and nothing was ever messy. Nothing was ever out of order. Our home was perfect and immaculately clean.
We were not happy though so the trade off was not so ‘good.’
In time I realized in order to have a peaceful happy home I would have to lower the standards. I realized that perfectionism is a strain on relationships and can hinder a peaceful home. (Admitting that sometimes the standards have really lowered to a messy state at times)
The illusion of control is also a big one. When one is raised in a ‘home’ that is unsafe or in today’s lingo dysfunctional the one thing that is needed is control and order. I still have to have some sort of control in some things. It is not easy for me to step back and say ‘ok you do it’…
maybe it is a trust issue maybe it is just a process that will always be with me and a part of who I am.
In order for me to feel safe I have to have some sort of order in my day and some sort of ‘idea’ of what is happening around me.
When the illusion is formed that ‘I can be in control and I can handle all this’ it is exhausting to one’s soul. The most peaceful process is realizing “you are not in control and you never will be.”
When I finally grasped that… it was like a big sigh of relief. There are few things I am actually in control of and that is good.
God is in Control of our lives and what is given to us is what HE feels we can handle.
Do you ever feel overwhelmed or over loaded with too many ‘things’?
Take a break and evaluate what is causing all the chaos in side the ‘over whelmed feeling’.
Is it comparison to others that you or your life can’t or don’t match up?
Is it perfectionism that cannot be quenched or managed and that is why you are tired?
Is it the need to be in control when you can’t be and shouldn’t be?
I ask these questions for myself as well as those who are reading this.
Something new for us to think about.
The questions for each of us to ask:
What is keeping us from God and all that He wants us to become
and how can we be more open to what that process will look like for us.
by Sharon O | Oct 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
This turtle was given to me by someone when I was a little girl. I have kept him for a lot of years and he has survived many moves and many changes. I remember at one point in time I named him Herman. Why? who knows maybe from the Herman Hermit show? (they were a singing group in the 60’s) When I first showed this to my grand daughter Faith she didn’t like him she said ‘who would give you a sad turtle?’ from a little girl that was a profound question because who would give a little person a sad turtle? The answer has never come I don’t know where he came from or who gave him to me just know he has always been here.
This little dolly is another ‘child hood’ collectible. She has never had any clothes on and she is always smiling the silly smile. Kind of reminds me of Lucy on Charlie Brown. I have no clue where she came from either just know she has been a part of ‘life’ for many years. I let the grand kids play with her since she is not really breakable. The little one I babysit loves to pack her around because she is small and easy to carry.
I find it interesting that I would have a very sad turtle and a silly smiling doll. Kind of makes you wonder how ‘crazy making’ our lives were back then.
These are just a few of my ‘collectibles’ from the past. I am sure I will find more.
God is challenging me to ‘explore’ many things these days and as I continue the path to ‘de-cluttering’ I am sure more will surface. For now my turtle will go back in the bedroom and the dolly back in the toy box.
Do you have a special toy or book from childhood?
A special doll or teddy bear?
Just something to think about.
