Grandma learned something important.
Not long ago I was showing my grand daughter Faith my blog.
She was happy to see ‘herself’ in a few photo’s and she was reading what I had written about her camp and her fair days and her life. She thought it was pretty neat and was even excited to see it all then she then asked me, “Are you going to write about my mom or put a picture of her on your blog?”
I said well I can but I have to ask permission first it is not right to just ‘assume’ she would want me to share her ‘life’ with my readers. Faith looked at me with a puzzled look and said, “Well you didn’t ask my permission.”
Oh wow how true those words were.
I had just assumed that it was alright to post them and technically it is alright with her but she is absolutely sending me a message and teaching me something in the process. I did not call and ask her permission and I didn’t ask if I could post a picture or even talk to her about what my plans were.
This lead me to think about other issues around children.
Have you ever watched people at the store or other places with children?
People will go up to a baby and touch their face or their hair and say, “Oh aren’t you so sweet?”
Why do we feel it is acceptable to touch a child when we would never go up to an adult and touch their face and say, “You are so beautiful.”
We don’t pat them on the head and say ‘Hi’. Why would we not do that?
Because it is a boundary issue and we would be in their personal space.
It is called ‘your personal bubble space’ around you. Others need to stand back and ask first if they can enter your ‘space with you’. It is really disrespectful for us to assume that a child might want us to touch their head or hold their hand. They should be able to say “NO” that is what we teach them when we teach
‘good touch~bad touch’.
So why do we assume that they ‘wish for us’ to be in their space or share part of their life with others?
Children need respect just as adults do.
I was wrong to put Faith on my blog without asking permission first.
She was not mad at me she wasn’t even disappointed but she did make a point in telling me ‘You didn’t ask’. She is eleven and in sixth grade she should be able to use her voice and say, ‘You can share Or not’.
I stand corrected. As a grandma I went against everything my heart stands for.
The protection of children and the right for them to have a voice.
From now on if I share anything ‘personal or show a picture’ I will do my best to get permission from the one who I am writing about.
I hope this gives us all something ‘new’ to think about.
Have you ever shared something or told something about someone without asking permission first?
If you did how did you deal with it after you realized your mistake?