In keeping with the topic of the seminar I went to a few weeks ago.
I was searching through my notes that were taken during the sessions and found a few tidbits that are worth sharing.
The speaker said, “There are three voices that will keep you away from God and His purpose for you.”
The ‘chatter of comparison.’
The ‘insane scream of perfectionism.’
The ‘whispers of the illusion of control.’
Each one of these resonated with me.
Comparison is really hard because often times I see a house and I say, “wow I wish ours was that nice and pretty outside. The presentation is so welcoming. I wish we had that type of entry way, I wish our kitchen was bigger, I wish we had that much room, I wish….. ” continuing on with my discontent.
When I say that out loud I am becoming less thankful and less content for the home we have and live in. It is a nice home.
It is peaceful.
No it is not updated to ‘todays’ standards of granite counter tops and elaborate decor but it is adequate and comfortable and it is ours.
I feel safe here.
When I compare I lose sight of how God has blessed us.
Perfectionism was something I had to put down and let go when we first got married.
My mother was a perfectionist and very compulsive… every thing had a place and nothing was ever messy. Nothing was ever out of order. Our home was perfect and immaculately clean.
We were not happy though so the trade off was not so ‘good.’
In time I realized in order to have a peaceful happy home I would have to lower the standards. I realized that perfectionism is a strain on relationships and can hinder a peaceful home. (Admitting that sometimes the standards have really lowered to a messy state at times)
The illusion of control is also a big one. When one is raised in a ‘home’ that is unsafe or in today’s lingo dysfunctional the one thing that is needed is control and order. I still have to have some sort of control in some things. It is not easy for me to step back and say ‘ok you do it’…
maybe it is a trust issue maybe it is just a process that will always be with me and a part of who I am.
In order for me to feel safe I have to have some sort of order in my day and some sort of ‘idea’ of what is happening around me.
When the illusion is formed that ‘I can be in control and I can handle all this’ it is exhausting to one’s soul. The most peaceful process is realizing “you are not in control and you never will be.”
When I finally grasped that… it was like a big sigh of relief. There are few things I am actually in control of and that is good.
God is in Control of our lives and what is given to us is what HE feels we can handle.
Do you ever feel overwhelmed or over loaded with too many ‘things’?
Take a break and evaluate what is causing all the chaos in side the ‘over whelmed feeling’.
Is it comparison to others that you or your life can’t or don’t match up?
Is it perfectionism that cannot be quenched or managed and that is why you are tired?
Is it the need to be in control when you can’t be and shouldn’t be?
I ask these questions for myself as well as those who are reading this.
Something new for us to think about.
The questions for each of us to ask:
What is keeping us from God and all that He wants us to become
and how can we be more open to what that process will look like for us.