I did a post yesterday and blogger went down for a full day and it didn’t save my ‘post’ I am now needing to re do it, how does one get the thoughts back?
grr.
Let me work on one for tomorrow.
I was also reminded I have not backed up my blog on any other format incase blogger decided to crash.
Thankyou Lord for the lesson learned.
of flowers
A son sharing from his heart 
This year has been a strange year for us.
Not only did my husband have shoulder surgery which included two visits to the ER for allergy issues that were potentially ‘serious’ then he had a skin cancer removed which could also have been very serious.
His recovery has been good but slow moving.
May arrived and I was feeling rather good that we had nothing facing us.
Then I was diagnosed with Shingles.
For those who don’t know what they are: Adult chicken pox
I had a spot that seemed to me a bug bite? It was red and very sore and somewhat itchy
and my whole side was tender and sore like a pulled muscle.
Then the ‘rash’ moved into other areas eventually becoming blistery and more painful.
Never had a rash that hurt before so I looked it up on Web.Md and diagnosed myself
then went to the doctor to get medication.
He gave me an antiviral drug which are very large pills and of course
the course of treatment is to take them five times a day.
(This lady chokes on the tiniest of pills)
sigh…not having fun again.
Three years ago I came down with the mumps on both sides of my face.
I literally looked like a round helium balloon with little slanted eyes.
It was horrible. Very painful and awful.
Oh did I say painful?
(I have pictures to prove it …take my word they are not pretty)
This pain is equal as far as being uncomfortable and tender.
At least this allows me to eat with the mumps your jaw won’t open very far.
I drank a lot of chicken broth and juice.
Fortunately I have a high pain tolerance and this is not ‘covering’ my whole body.
But what it is covering… ‘hurts’.
It feels like contractions that are deep within the area with sharp knife like ‘throbbing.’
I told my husband I was unsure if I wanted to know what June might bring for us.
So far it hasn’t been that great of a year for us.
God is good and is taking care of us I just pray that He give us strength to press forward even in times of stress and inconvenience.
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Normally this blog is not so much about me and my ‘challenges’ just wanted to share so that those who pray can add me onto their list. My new goal is to get this immune system of mine stronger and more able to fight off ‘catastrophic’ childhood diseases. It is very strange that my body has had two in the three years.
Have you had any recent shots lately? Do you know of someone above age 60 they can get the RX for a shingles shot. Please suggest it.
Leaving you with ‘a little something to think about.’
I am having a hard time these days.
Our house has been attacked from somewhere within by a family of carpenter ants. Well it is actually called a colony. Do you know how well I sleep with visions of ants crawling on my bed and on my head?
Oh and don’t mention the ants who crawl across the key board as I am typing or walk across my fax machine.
Whap… I slap them. I am getting good at creating death.
They are creepy and they are making me a bit goofy.
I see black ‘spots’ everywhere.
Of course sometimes they are real… like the one walking across the bathroom wall or the kitchen counter.
We have sprayed professionally ~ they tell me it takes time.
We have set out traps filled with poison.
I suppose that takes less time too.
What I am beginning to think about is the spiritual side of this.
What about the ‘ants’ who desire to destroy our relationships.
Divisive thoughts along with harsh words, critical spirits and disrespectful tones.
Aren’t they as damaging as a carpenter ant colony?
Don’t we risk the ‘danger’ of having our home destroyed by invisible creepy crawling things who’s goal is to take us down? Are we even aware of the possibility?
We didn’t have any clue carpenter ants were in our home slowly chewing away our ‘frame’ which held us safe and secure.
Are we just as unaware of the enemy who slowly chews away at our love, our friendships and our relationships with others?
Just something to think about today as I am searching the walls for movement of a creepy crawly.
Help us to be vigilant Lord and show us the enemy who prowls around our secure places.
Give us courage to take command and make them leave.
We pray we can say with a strong voice, “Whap you are gone”.
We have seen devastation.
We have seen beauty.
A hurricane so forceful it tore cement poles in half and carried houses away for miles.
A wedding of royalty of Kings and Queens
and fairy tales.
We have seen lives destroyed.
We have seen lives changed by words spoken through the act of love within a marriage ceremony.
Is the Lord’s coming near?
Devastation of land and lives over and over and
it is as if He is speaking to us.
Japan experienced it in full force
Cities destroyed by Tsunami waves.
It is as if He is saying to us:
I am God.
I am Power.
I am in control.
Lord God there is so much to see and experience and talk about.
Worlds are in contrast ~
Lives left with devastation with ruined homes and broken dreams
Lives brought together by a kingdom of wealth and
Duke and Duchess and horse drawn carriages.
A fairy tale world who would never understand or know
the devastation of homes ruined
and lives changed.
It has been a strange and weird week.
Filled with ups and downs ~ sadness and happiness mixed together
leaving us unsure of how to feel.
I pray for a new and better week.
Jeremiah 31:3
I have loved you with an everlasting love.
Hebrews 13:5
Never will I leave you or forsake you.
If I pray:
Open my eyes Lord and open my ears.
Show me your Love ~
Then I must read the above verses and understand they are the answer to my prayer.
When I feel abandoned ~
I can go to the word
and realize God will not go away.
When I am unsure of love ~
I can go to the word and realize his love is really all I need.
When I am unsteady ~
I run to the Psalms and they steady my path.
When I am searching and unsettled ~
I must realize
God is always after deeper healing for me
and deeper character with deeper transparency.
My prayer for us all today is this:
Jesus breathe life into us.
Breathe hope and healing.
Help us to know and experience and feel
your strong arms around us.
Only You
can fill our hearts that break
Only You
can heal the wounds so deep
Only You
can hold us close
Only You
Our Abba Father
Can breathe hope and life and love
into our hearts that are broken and tired.
Thank you God ~
we have so much to be thankful for.
Our last look at the topic of hurt.
Pastor was saying last Sunday that our hurts often define us.
He said, “If we let the hurt and pain shape us then we allow the hurt to move into something good. Remove the negativity that is attached to the hurt and build on what could be strong in it.”
He said, “A survivor looks for sympathy. An over comer looks for majesty.”
That is a thought that has stopped me in my tracks a few times this week.
Do I look for the majestic moments in the ‘trauma’ of life?
How do we live our lives as over comers?
We pray.
“Lord shape me through the hurt, help it not to define my identity,
help it to grow me into a better stronger person
who can help others in the process of their pain and heartache.”
Can we allow ourselves to know that God’s heart breaks over our heart break?
He is sad when we are sad.
He weeps and keeps track of our weeping. Every tear is recorded.
Pastor said, “If you don’t see the opportunity in the midst of the pain ~ you loose the lesson.”
“Healing is like a moving target, it feels healed and then it is not, it feels settled then it is not. It is a continual process of deep internal work. Healing is not the absence of pain, healing is the step to wholeness that we desire through the pain.”
It takes movement on our part and trust too.
Pastor said, “If you do the possible, God will do the impossible. God will bless you through the hurt and he will join you in it, you are not and have not been alone.”
He said, “Being an over comer is allowing the hurt to strengthen and shape you.
The final result will be HOPE…
the only hope that comes from a healing caring God.”
As we enter into the Easter week our pastor continued on the ‘hurt’ topic.
This time he focused on Peter, and the conversation he had with Jesus.
Remember when Jesus was in the garden praying and how he had asked for some ’emotional’ support from his ‘disciples’ and found them all resting instead of praying with him. His heart was broken deeply for he knew the pain ahead of him was not really what he wanted to experience. Remember he was God in flesh so the flesh would experience the flogging, the weight of the cross, the crown of thorns forcibly placed on his head. He knew the separation between himself and God would take place.
His heart was heavy.
He knew yet he chose ~ to love us.
He knew and He continued to press forward in obedience.
He knew the nails that would pierce his hands.
He knew hearts would grow cold against him and the hatred from the people.
In the courtyard in John 21:7 someone said to Peter, “You knew him”… and Peter said, “No I have no idea who he is” … “No I don’t know him”. Three times Peter denied Jesus.
Three times as Jesus had predicted to him and on the third denial the rooster crowed and Peter immediately remembered what Jesus had said, “You will deny me three times”…
his heart was full of grief and remorse and anguish because of what he had done.
After the resurrection Peter and the ‘guys’ were back to fishing. It was the only thing they knew to do.
A figure came near them in the water they realized it was Jesus. John 21:7 Peter jumped out of the boat to go to him. Pastor said his heart was so broken by what he had said that he ‘raced’ to go see Jesus even in the water. (Like a long lost friend returning) Jesus said to them in verse 12, “Come have breakfast.” The disciples didn’t have to ask who he was they knew it was the Lord.
Later on as they were talking Jesus said in vs 15, “Peter do you love me?” and Peter said yes.
Then Jesus asked again in vs 17: “Peter do you love me?” and Peter by now frustrated by the questions said, “Yes again” in the voice tone of …’I am hurt you would even ask me again.’
Then Jesus asked a third time, “Peter do you love me?” at that point Peter was hurt and sad over the fact that Jesus did not believe him. Jesus was restoring the relationship that Peter had broken. When Jesus needed him the most, when he needed the support in the most intense way.
Three times. He denied. 
Three times he was asked by Jesus ~ it was more like the question of, “where is your heart Peter?”
Jesus was restoring Peter’s identity to him. As a friend and as a brother who loved him.
It was a confirmation from Jesus that they both knew the significance of the three questions.
I am wondering if there was an opportunity between you and Jesus.
What three questions would Jesus ask you today?
Simplicity
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