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Releasing our hurt

by | Mar 24, 2011 | Uncategorized

Continuing on the subject of hurt.

The other day Pastor had several boxes on the stage and he said, “Where do you put your hurt”?
Are there boxes in closets where you say, “Lord these are not for you to deal with, they are mine.”
Do you have categories in your box that are OK to show and others that are not?
He said there could be a box for ‘storage’. “Let’s not open that one right now”.
There could be a box for recycling, “I have dealt with this before but it keeps coming around to be dealt with again.” Recycle those jagged places and allow them for good to strengthen you.
Put them down and release them.
Each box could hold and represent a part of your ‘wounded’ heart.
Moving boxes represent someone moving.
That is a good and positive thing.
Moving in the right direction is even better.
We cannot see God as one who is powerless to help us or too powerful as in a tyrant.
Through the lens of our ‘broken ness’ we must see him
as one who cares deeply and desires to help heal us.
Our hurts can be handed off to the one who can heal them permanently.
Our relationships can be released and given permission to teach and grow us.
Showing our hurts to another is the best way to ‘release and remove’
the power of the hurting place inside us.
When it used to be safe and necessary to hide the hurt,
it is no longer the safe way.
That rule inside must be replaced with a positive and more relational one.
Sometimes we think God is too busy or not available or not interested in our hurting hearts.
That is so untrue and so not like him.
{Psalm 5:6-7} Away from me, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.
{1st Peter 5:6-7} Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.
{Isaiah 63:9} In all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of his presence saved them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.
{Deuteronomy 31:8} The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

I hope these verses leave you with an encouragement that is so strong
that releasing the hurts is the most ‘natural action you can do right now’.

Release them and allow him to restore you. 
It is a new year for a new you ~ today could be the day to begin.

Hurt and healing

by | Mar 21, 2011 | Uncategorized

Our Pastor is doing a series on the topic of HURT.
What a heavy topic.
I sat there in the chair and thought, ‘I could write a whole book on that topic’.
This last year was an intense year of hurt, with mom O struggling with cancer and losing her battle. With a relationship that is close to me sending out words that not only hurt my heart but hurt my spirit too.
We remain unhealed. It will be a journey of ‘intense’ confrontation I am afraid and it will also require some deep seated ‘feelings’ to resurface. It will be no fun but it is necessary for healing to take place.
Pastor said, “sometimes we don’t intend to hurt others…there is emotional hurt~ spiritual hurt~ physical hurt~ and relationship hurt.” Sometimes we say words that are misunderstood or sometimes we say words that were intentionally twisted by the other person. Pastor said often our messy lives transition into hurtful ones. If someone is an emotional mess they will send off waves of pain towards anyone in their paths it is normal to lash out instead of look inward. It is normal to push away rather than push in.
Hurt means: to cause bodily injury to; to cause bodily pain; to affect adversely or hurt one’s reputation; to cause mental pain; to offend or grieve; to produce a painful sensation to some one.
These are heavy intense words.
Today, can you think of someone you have hurt who you need to go talk to?
Today, can you prayerfully ask God to stir within your spirit the words you have said that perhaps wounded someone?
I think this journey has to be a personal one to heal us from the ‘hurt’ and woundedness we carry.
God takes the hurt to produce a deeper character in us.
Are we willing to let him? and are we willing to take the steps to form the deeper character?
Leaving you with something to think about.

Resting in His peace

by | Mar 16, 2011 | Uncategorized

The other day as I was cleaning out my my desk.
I came across a piece of paper with writing on it;
don’t know if it is a quote from someone,
a part of a sermon note or just where it came from.

When your heart is at rest you invite others to rest.
It is important to move out of your anxiety and worry or fear.
There is room for your soul to wait and pause
and listen in the midst of the uncertain times.
As you entice others towards the heart of God
you entice yourself to move in that direction also.
(Entice: to lead on by exciting hope or desire)
Isaiah 30: 15
In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness
and trust is your strength.
Find refuge and healing in His Love.
Let your heart show up
with your defenses down.
Have a gentle quiet spirit and a heart of faith.
A heart that trusts God.

Zephaniah 3:17
“The Lord your God is with you,
the mighty warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”

We don’t understand all the ‘rumblings’ of the
past events. The world is feeling uncertain and
the promises of protection can feel like empty words.
We must wait, and rest and trust IN a God who is in control
when we feel so out of control.
Our refuge is His peace the peace that passes ALL understanding.
Do you need to feel peaceful today?

The risk to blossom

by | Mar 12, 2011 | Uncategorized

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin
A few days ago I wrote about your story and what that means.
How we all have a story to tell.
My own journey is deep and full of winding trails of healing and more healing and even more deeper healing. It took years for my heart to hear the reality of what my body already knew to be true. It was a connection. Like a dot to dot on a page that has no image it is only when the dots are met and one begins to draw the real image forming out on the page one can finally see what was not clear in the beginning.  
The verse above, speaks of remaining a tight bud.
I believe for many years my heart was a bud that was forged into tightness by the actions and behaviors from others. While pushing back the pain I was feeling my back went out and my neck tightened and I eventually wore a back brace and a neck brace and saw a chiropractor several times a week.

My body remembered traumatic scenes before my mind did.
My body remembered language and touch before my brain did.
I was crushed beneath the weight of the burden of stuffing it all down so others could not ever see the burden I was carrying.
The risk to remain that way was too much. For years my spirit was full of pain and I could not hold it in any longer. The breaking point was when I went into anaphylactic shock more than once for no reason. My body again remembering on the cellular level what my brain could not comprehend at least not yet.
It was more painful and damaging to stay tightly held together.
Slowly the Lord began to loosen the protection of my heart.
In therapy I learned that the fault was not mine.
The blame needed to go to those who did wrong.
The blossoming began very slowly.
My character was becoming whole in small step by step movements orchestrated by a God who knew me deeply.
The healing was deep and the wounding was seen for what it was and then moved into a safe place perhaps to not ever be looked at again in the same way.
There are many deep valleys to the story.
Many places of darkness and trauma began to heal and be replaced with a ‘new’ reality of healing and hope.
The old reality began to be altered into a new one.
Not to discount the old but to acknowledge it for what it was and replace it with a new image. Instead of saying ‘I didn’t matter’ or ‘it didn’t matter’. I have learned to say, “Yes I mattered a lot” and “Yes it did matter to the little girl who was so very sad and alone.”
It is a change of wording and heart condition.
It is a place of deep healing and hope.
It takes courage to examine what formed our thoughts and opinions and it also takes courage to make that first step, that first phone call ~ that first declaration that this cannot be done alone.
Thank you God for the beauty of the blossom.
Thank you God for the beauty of Life as I know it now.

What we call our destiny is truly our character and that character can be altered.
The knowledge that we are responsible for our actions and attitudes does not need to be discouraging, because it also means that we are free to change this destiny. One is not in bondage to the past, which has shaped our feelings, to race, inheritance, background. All this can be altered if we have the courage to examine how it formed us. We can alter the chemistry provided we have the courage to dissect the elements. Anais Nin

( flower photos by marmar_99)

In the meantime

by | Mar 8, 2011 | Uncategorized

Do you ever wonder sometimes what is next in your life?
What God has in mind for you or what might be in your future?
I do.
I am considered semi retired and not working outside my home.
It is a form of taking a break.
Taking a pause in life till the next set of events start happening.
In the meantime:
the definition of ‘meantime’ is the intervening time or period as between events or process.

It is what I call discovering what is most important.
A time to slow down and listen.
A time to grow deeper and wiser.
A time to center into what ultimately is the most valuable to you.
It is about making choices because you can.
In the meantime
you wait and you wonder
you pray and you seek.

When I worked full time we were busy all day long.
At night when the day finally ended the fatigue set in and bedtime looked pretty inviting.
These days my life is more quiet and pacing myself is much easier.
If rest is needed it is ok to lay down and rest.
If writing is needed it is ok to spend time with that too.
It seems that I am more healthy these days other than a few seasonal illnesses that happen.
It is all about learning yourself and becoming a student of who you are inside ~ where others don’t see.
What is ‘in the meantime’ looking like for you?
Are you ready for the next set of events?
Can you ask God to strengthen you for what is ahead?
Can you say with an open heart and an open hand
I will accept the circumstances whatever they may be?
All of us have the ‘meantime’ seasons it is what we do with them
that really matters.
I pray this be a bit of encouragement as the journey continues for us all.
In the meantime we wait.

Your story

by | Mar 4, 2011 | Uncategorized

Our Pastor shared this on a Sunday and I have been thinking about it now for days. God gives each of us a story for us to share.
Mine is different than yours.
We all have one. We all had a journey of some sort.
We all have something to share.
I hope and pray you discover yours and share it with someone. Our growth comes out of sharing and remembering how much he has done for us.
“In your story you are going to continue searching for a reason God should love you.
In your story you are going to continue finding reasons why he shouldn’t.
So here’s my suggestion: give up your version of your story and embrace his.
In his story, he loves you not matter what you’ve done.
In his story, he doesn’t love you because of what you’ve done.

In his story, he could not love you more and he will never love you less.

It’s a better story. It’s a true story. It’s a story of grace. The grace of God!”
This is ludicrous, absurd so nonsensical…we could even go as far as saying it’s foolish!”
But it is Love…
It is real… and it is the most valuable ‘truth’ you can ever hold onto.

Are you ready to share your story?

Generosity

by | Mar 1, 2011 | Uncategorized

Our Pastor has been sharing what it means to be generous.
What it means to have an open handed~ open heart attitude and thought.
He shared with us that God wants for us to become generous people.
Dictionary.com says that generosity is to give or share liberally free from meanness or smallness of mind or character; to give abundantly with a ready heart without being stingy.
Pastor began to teach us and say:
“Generosity is not measured by our allowance, it is measured by our allowing.”
Learning to give out of an ‘openness’ with no intention or desire to get anything back.
Generosity is the outflow of an inflow of trust.
Trust in a God who will take care of us in spite of our circumstances.
Then he shared how comparing will always discount what God is doing in our hearts and lives.
He said in Exodus the people began to resent the manna that God was providing. They began to grumble and complain and whine and say;
“We remember when we had it all.” In Exodus 16:1-3 it says: The whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “IF ONLY we died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death” verses 5-10 continue showing us the grumbling of the people.
Pastor said Resentment and regret always starts with IF: “If only we were back in the old days when we had all the food all the drinks we could enjoy. Now we only have this manna.”
Basically saying what God was providing for them was not acceptable to them. It wasn’t enough.
Comparing our present provision to our past gets us no where and helps us miss our blessing in what HE is doing now. God provided for them every day exactly what was needed for that day. The instruction was to gather it daily, every day, they didn’t want it they wanted something more.
Pastor then asked the question: “Can you trust God and be obediant to him?”
Pastor said, “God’s faithfulness to you is not equal to your trust in Him. God is faithful even if you choose not to be.”
It is a choice ~ it becomes a matter of our heart.
Then he said, “Generosity shows the expiration of our heart.”
I had to think about that one for some time to really grasp what it meant.
Then he asked us,”What does it mean to be rich? if you define rich by how much money you have your definition is a moving target. Rich is not defined by money it is defined by heart condition.”
He continued to teach, “Richness and wealth is not measured by what’s in your bank. You must redefine what it means to be wealthy and what it means to be rich.
When we do that we begin to realize how truly rich we are.”
How truly rich we are… we are very wealthy people.
Are you feeling the convictions that I did?
We are truly rich and wealthy people.
It is only our discontented hearts condition that discounts the truth for what it really is.
Lord God I pray for our hearts to be broken and to become more generous in the way that you desire. Help us to be grateful and generous with open hands and open hearts.