Following the last blog:
What if those who have offended us won’t move towards us into a place of healing.
Then what do we do?
On Sunday our pastor said, “Offense means in the biblical text: skandal (that was the spelling he had on the screen) ~ to stumble or to snare as in a trap.” (showing us the example of a large mouse trap)
Dictionary.com said offense is: a violation, a transgression, the feeling of resentful displeasure, the act of attacking, to trespass against.
He said, “When an offense is allowed to grow and entangle itself around something it strangles the life out of relationships.”
The offender begins to poison any attempt at ‘reconciliation’ or healing from anyone especially the one offended. They wall themselves off  as the offense is stirred and churned over and over until the words harbor expectations that cannot ever be met.
The offender will demand peace without wanting to realize they must do something in order for the peace to take place.
The offender brushes off all responsibility to the offended one and demand that they calm the storm or calm the chaos between them. People who are offenders are critical and have great difficulty thinking in a different way. Critical people are offended by other peoples happiness; they struggle with it because they cannot seem to be that way themselves. Critical people are unapproachable. They recoil when asked to ‘accept responsibility.’ They get angry and defensive when asked to deal with the hurt they caused. Most often they push the closest people near them away and demand space from them. Offenders who are critical feed off of unresolved hatred or unresolved issues. They delight in seeing the other person suffer almost as if  it is a pay back towards them. They generally do anything they can to not apologize as they justify the ‘fault is not theirs to deal with.’
Pastor said ‘what kind of person do you want to be and what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?’
What will happen in the midst of a place of healing between the those who are involved matters more than what has happened between them.
Jesus did not ever minimize the hurting people he maximized the healing they could receive.
In a place of healing the hurt is dealt with in an honest real way so that healing and restoration can begin to take place.
The legacy you choose to leave behind is directly related to the openness of heart you express towards another.
Is your heart open to maximize the healing today and be kind to someone who hurt you?
Would you be able to walk away and let it go if they chose to never be responsible?
It is something to think about as we continue to explore this topic of hurt.