Listen to the little ones

by Sharon O | Jun 25, 2011 | Uncategorized

I hope my last blog was not too intense.
My husband said to me after reading it,
“wow… you must have been mad.”
Well… yes I was…
and still feel angry that children so often have little choice as to what their lives will include or be involved in.
Big people make decisions and little people have to abide by them no matter if they like it or not.
As a child advocate I feel it is important to see the world through the eyes of the children.
As a grandma I get to see this many times as I watch and observe the mixed bag of feelings of the little ones. Often times I can give a different opinion because I am grandma, and a voice of experience. I am not a tired parent I am grandma with a ‘different point of view.’
When I was little and growing up I remember feeling
like ‘I had no voice.’ I really didn’t. None of us did.
We moved many times and we had no choice.
You just followed and did as you were told.
We changed schools many times and learned to adapt in order to survive.
Life is not fair for the little ones.
Perhaps that is why Jesus made such a strong opinion about them.
He was a child advocate.
He used them as an example because he knew they believed without question.
Sometimes as an adult it would be good for us to put down our adult ‘world’ and try to see the world through their eyes.
When I have a toddler around I get on the floor and try to see their worldview as a little one always looking up.
It is very different than looking down.
Try it sometime you will be amazed.
It is a perspective of smallness of lack of ability and of needing help.
I am short and often times I have to ask for help when trying to reach tall things.
Little ones are not that different.
They need our help. They need our guidance.
They need our time to listen and understand their point of view.
They don’t always ask in a way that we think is appropriate.
They just want us to be available.
I am not saying give them their way always.
That would be wrong and would not teach responsibility or obedience.
But I am saying we need to think of the children.
Next time when you are out in a public store look at ‘the faces’
listen to the dialogue around them and look in their eyes.
Learn to put yourself in their place and ask yourself how you would feel.
Take time to listen to the precious ones.

I think it is very important to play and let them know they are very important to us.
As adults we don’t do that often enough. Let the child run and express joy.
Perhaps we can learn something from them in the process.
(picture is of Faith at age 3 running freely as a child in our favorite place ~ the beach)

Upsetting show

by Sharon O | Jun 21, 2011 | Uncategorized

Following on the topic of children.
I am a child advocate and I have been very upset and angry at a show that TLC has on its station.
Maybe I have said this before but little children and especially little babies should be just that.
They have innocence no one has the right to remove.
They are precious and they should be protected.
They are not beauty queens and they should not forced to be.
They are not competitors either.
They are not puppet’s to fulfill some mother’s unfilled need to be a winner at any cost.
I have never watched the show in it’s entirety because I dislike it so much.
I have seen previews and that was enough for me to form an opinion.
I think it should be illegal. Just as it is illegal to exploit children in other instances why shouldn’t this show be illegal? They are forcing little girls, to dress up like Vegas girls and show off and dance and it just makes my stomach turn. What are these parents thinking and especially what are they trying to prove? It is incredibly sad to me that the parents have agreed to do this in return for money.
The previews have shown little ones screaming and crying because the dresses are itchy and they don’t want makeup on and they are tired and they are children who just want to play and be little.
I think the mom’s should STOP.
I think the producers should STOP.
I think the station is wrong to promote this type of show.
Who is protecting the children?
Never would I force a child to do anything against their will.
Oh I have made them realize it is bedtime when they are not minding and way too tired to make a good choice for themselves.
I don’t force them to eat… I negotiate. Let’s count… if you eat two to four bites then you can get down. Children can have a voice and they do tell us if we listen when they feel safe or not.
This show is wrong.
It is never ever ok to have these kinds of shows that devalue the life of a little child.
It is sickening to make these little precious ones prance around stage as if they are 35.
Today I just wanted to share my opinion however strong it is.
I was going to post a picture of the show but the whole concept makes my stomach turn.
I can’t do it. 
If you don’t know the show just imagine…
what toddlers and tiaras would look like.

A first for us

by Sharon O | Jun 18, 2011 | Uncategorized

This week was a first for us.
I went to our first grand daughter and our first grand child’s sixth grade graduation.
She is tiny in size in comparison to a lot of her friends.
She is very smart, and very beautiful of course I am grandma and I would say that. But she is very beautiful and I feel very honored to be her grandma.
She changed my life forever.
I remember when she was born. It will be something never forgotten it is etched in my heart as a wonderful tender memory.
She arrived 6 weeks early weighing only 2 pounds 11oz, that night a tiny miracle stole my heart. 
She was so wonderful and so perfect. I worried. I prayed. I cried.
I marveled at her beauty. I was amazed at how healthy she was.
She had iv’s for a few days in her head, she had no oxygen and took no time to learn how to drink a bottle. Normally preemies struggle with that and she caught on very quickly.
She was released to go home when she was 3 weeks old after graduating from nicu weighing 3 pounds 9 oz.
Did this grandma worry? YES and I prayed intensely for her to be strong.
I will always pray and be her advocate.

                   

It was an emergency and when she and her mommy were in a crisis God’s angels protected them and I have told her they have always had a hand on her life because she is very special and God has a very special plan for her.
A few weeks ago we celebrated her 12th birthday and I cannot believe she is going into 7th grade now. Time keeps moving forward and the children grow and grandma watches with sadness mixed with tender memories.
I hope and pray she will always know how much this grandma loves her.
She was a first for us. She made us grand parents.
The job is an honor and privilege. Thank you Faith Elizabeth.
We love you always.
(picture on blanket was at age 5months weighing 8 pds 5oz)

An advocate and a place of refuge

by Sharon O | Jun 10, 2011 | Uncategorized

Our Pastor taught on Nehemiah this last Sunday.
I have to admit it is not a book I readily rush to in the old Testament. Not sure why I love the stories of the old prophets and teachers in some ways it is more interesting than the new Testament.
My favorite part would be the Psalms.
One year when our children were younger I did an in depth study on Israel and the Minor Prophets and it was the BEST Bible study I ever experienced. I learned more in that year than I did my whole ‘life’ as a Christian.
In Nehemiah God teaches about the concept of advocate ~ anytime there is an injustice there needs to be an advocate in place to protect the one or ones ‘in crisis’. 
Advocate means: one that defends or maintains a cause or proposal of safety. Or one that supports or promotes the interest of another.
Pastor said: to be a person of refuge is about collaboration.(which basically means the act of working together on a joint project.)
Also a to be a person of refuge is to be in close proximity. (One has to be close to walk alongside someone else. It can’t be done through distance or miles.)
Pastor also said: to be a person of refuge is about filling in the gaps and helping one to rebuild what was perhaps broken or unsafe.
Pastor also said: to be a person of refuge is to be a person of courage when perhaps the one ‘being helped’ is not that strong.
Pastor also said: to be a person of refuge for another is about a lifestyle of open hands and open hearts.
To be an advocate for someone is to put your own opinions on the sidelines and to think solely of the one you are advocating for.
It is a place of strength and purpose and I suppose a place of power and control in some sense.
I have a sister who I have to do all business and social services calls for. I have to pay her bills and keep her in line with appointments and assessments. I can say I am her advocate. I am her voice and I help her to stay safe and in a controlled environment.
My husband is becoming his dad’s advocate. Speaking for him when he sometimes cannot.
Who in your life are you advocating for?
A child ~ A grand child ~ A coworker ~ Someone elderly ~
Someone at your church or volunteer position?
Are you opening your hand and heart to help one another?
It is a challenge for us all to look beyond our ‘self’ and see and experience those who ‘need’ someone to come alongside them.
Following up from the last writing Jesus was an advocate for women.
He gave value and voice to them and walked alongside them
as they learned they had purpose.
I think it is a challenge for us all.
Are you a place of refuge and advocate to anyone today?
If you are not…I challenge you to ask yourself why.
Perhaps there is someone who needs you to be their advocate and place of refuge.
Just a little ‘something to think about.’

You ~ His precious and cherished one

by Sharon O | Jun 8, 2011 | Uncategorized

I often think of the times when Jesus met with the women of the bible.
He had a soft spot for them… not in a bad way…
of course not… but in a way to give them honor and self worth.
Mary and Martha both loved him in their own ways and he allowed them to be individual and unique for they each had a purpose and relationship with him.
He met the woman at the well and spoke to her perhaps for the first time like she had value and hope. He told her the truth about her life and then said ‘go and sin no more.’
As if to say to her, “I believe you can change.”
Then there was the woman who came to him near the end of his life who poured the expensive perfume on his feet and washed them with her own tears and hair. He allowed her to give knowing it was from her heart. He allowed her time of ‘worship’ for him for he knew it was important to her and I believe he knew what the ‘perfume’ represented for his life. His death was near.
Remember the disciples were angry and not understanding the ‘cost’ of the giving of her valued gift?
He drew them to him because he was full of gentleness and love.
I understand that. I am drawn to someone who is gentle and kind.
I want to spend time with them.
A wonderful man by the name of Bruce Marchiano wrote a book called:
Jesus, the man who loved women.
Bruce portrayed Jesus in a movie and he learned to know Jesus through the process of making that movie. I loved the way he showed Jesus with compassion and laughter and love. It is a ‘unique’ style of acting and a wonderful example of ‘who’ our ‘Lord’ is and perhaps could have been. I don’t think he was always serious and grumpy as some portray him. I think he enjoyed life. I also think he was fun to be with as well as challenging. The movie is called, ‘The Gospel according to Matthew’ and it won’t disappoint you if you ever want to purchase it.
You can find it on the website: Bruce Marchiano ministries.
He started out as an actor and became a believer. He thought he could do the role and never let it ‘sink’ into his heart. But God had other plans for him. Now Bruce is a man who serves God on missions and is a  dynamic voice for those who need to hear the Gospel. I really like him and I really like what he stands for. Click onto the link for more information. I have heard him speak and he is truly a man who loves Jesus.  This is my next book to read for the summer and I am suggesting ‘others’ to read it too. Perhaps you are a woman who needs to know your value and worth ‘through the eyes of Jesus’.
http://www.brucemarchiano.com/about/bruces-story

Through indepth and dramatic exploring of Jesus’ encounters and relationships with women two thousand years ago, a revelation of his heart for women is revealed – the intimate depth of his love, compassion, respect, tenderness, hope and promise for… you, his precious and most cherished one.

A litte Monday thought

by Sharon O | Jun 6, 2011 | Uncategorized

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option” ~ Unknown

I have placed this on my facebook page and I really think it has value in processing.

Sometimes we give and give and then all of a sudden we realize that in the big picture of life, it is better to let go.
Don’t do anymore. Be quiet. 
This is a good reminder for us all.
Don’t give more of yourself than is necessary or needed.
Someone will always have a need and sometimes it is better to step back and say ‘no’. 
It is not good for me to do this and it is not healthy for my bleeding heart to continue to give in such a way that I am make myself less than what I am.
It is like a draining of emotional and spiritual ’emptiness’.
In a new holy boldness…
I pray for someone who needs to read this little thought for the day.
You are valuable. You are loved. You are special.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.

Our courtyard

by Sharon O | Jun 5, 2011 | Uncategorized

In the summer our courtyard which used to be just a piece of grass with no personality comes alive with flowers and beauty.
It is too hot most of the afternoon and into some of the evening, but in the early morning it is wonderful to have breakfast or just a cup of coffee and a little conversation.

It is quiet. It is private. It is peaceful. I find it refreshing to sit out and listen to the birds as the wind blows.

My best friend and I had a vision. We kept talking courtyard as a little space for flowers and an extension of the back yard but a bit different than the yard itself.

After the vision became a reality then my husband and my brother in law laid the bricks and stone and we then purchased the trees and plants and created a ‘private’ place where no one can see unless they know it is there.

My dad made me a metal gate that we use to separate the dogs from courtyard. I would prefer they are not  allowed to hang out in there, they have a big back yard that is shaded just for them.

The courtyard was a dream and a vision. The flowers will become big and beautiful and we even brought in blueberries this year and a strawberry pot. Integrating flowers and fruit.

This summer we will have lots of fun with children making memories of roasting marshmallows in the fire pit or just listening to the angel fountain as the water bubbles up and down.
Our courtyard is a wonderful gift we gave to ourselves.
I hope you have a ‘special place’ to enjoy with your family and friends summertime is so different than fall and winter. The evenings are often warm enough to sit out way after dark till the night skies are full of stars and darkness.
~ Our courtyard ~

A place of angels and roses and remembering that Life is all about being together.
Our courtyard … A place of relaxation and rest and peace and family.
It holds many memories for us as we move into another summer.

The Beach

by Sharon O | Jun 4, 2011 | Uncategorized

Today we went to the beach. My place of peace, relaxation, and restoration.
I stood in the wind. It blew my hair and I didn’t care if I had a bad hair day.
It was warm, 75 degrees and so refreshing after weeks of being so sick.
We ate outside at a restaurant and enjoyed chowder, and wine and fresh ‘fish and chips’.
It was a wonderful day to forget bills, phone calls and other assorted things to deal with.
I love the beach.
If I ever had a chance I think I could move there.
My only problem is my delightful grand children.
Grandma will just have to wait and purchase a motor home that way I can have the best of both worlds. My own bed and bathroom and my grandchildren too.

Gratitude is a treasure

by Sharon O | Jun 2, 2011 | Uncategorized

As Oprah closed her last seasons show she ended with these words:
“I want you to know that what you have to say matters to me. I understand the manifestation of grace and God, so I know that there are no coincidences. There are none. Only divine order here.
I am truly amazed that I, who started out in rural Mississippi in 1954 when the vision for a black girl was limited to being either a maid or a teacher in a segregated school, could end up here.
It is no coincidence that a lonely little girl who felt not a lot of love, (this is when my throat got choked up and I could feel the tears relating so much to her words) even though my parents and my grandparents did the best they could, it is no coincidence that I grew up to feel the genuine kindness, affection, trust and validation from millions of you all all over the world.
From you whose names I will never know, I learned what love is. You and this show have been the great love of my life. Every single day I came down from my makeup room on our Harpo elevator, I would offer a prayer of gratitude for the delight and the privilege of doing this show. Gratitude is the single greatest treasure I will take with me from this experience.
The opportunity to have done this work, to be embraced by all of you who watched, is one of the greatest honors any human being could have. And I thank each of you for allowing me to speak in such a way that, no matter what was happening in your life, you could see the best in yourselves.*
For everything there is a season, we know and our time together on this platform is coming to a close. In a few moments when the final credits roll, I see it not as an ending, but as an extraordinary beginning. One chapter closed. The next chapter beginning for all of us.
I’ve been asked many times during this farewell season, ‘Is ending the show bittersweet?’
Well, I say all sweet. No bitter. And here is why: Many of us have been together for 25 years.
We have hooted and hollered together, had our aha! moments, we ugly-cried together and we did our gratitude journals. So I thank you for all  your support and your trust in me. I thank you for sharing this yellow brick road of blessings. And I thank  you for tuning in every day. I thank you for being as much of a sweet inspiration for me as I’ve tried to be for you. 
I won’t say goodbye. I’ll just say…until we meet again.”    

You might wonder why I have spent so many ‘days’ writing about Oprah and sharing her last closing time with the viewers. I guess it is because I see in her a ‘winner’~ someone who did not take her ‘lowly’ beginning and leave it to be ‘her lot in life’. She looked beyond what was known at the time and pressed forward into a new and more hopeful direction. She is a self made house hold name although she said, “God had his hand in it all the time.” So many times I remember watching her show and finding the courage after to press forward into my own healing, pressing forward in to what I knew I had to do to get better and be well. As a mom I listened to her and often was encouraged by her even though I was older than her by a few years. I do not worship her nor do I think more highly of her than needed. But I do see her as a ‘up and coming’ Maya Angelou with wisdom and strength clothing her every move. I think she is a real authentic person who is wonderful and I wish her great success in her ‘new direction.’
I think Oprah’s story of survival and success is a wonderful tribute to herself and to all women. 
You can better yourself even if you start one day at at time.
She said ‘gratitude is a treasure’ and I believe when we become grateful and thankful for where we have started from and where we have ended. 
Then the journey is worth every deep and dark and desolate hole we crawl out of to get well.
If we find wholeness and hope and realize gratitude is our treasure.
Then it is worth every step we have walked to get there.