“I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seeds every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life.
It’s the trees way of being strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out it’s treasure in the wind.”
quote is by Mary Sarton
( I don’t know who Mary Sarton is but I do love this thought and wanted to share it)
[photograph is by my son Christopher O]
Continuing on the topic:
Whatever captivates your heart controls your destiny.
Our pastor has been teaching through the book of Ephesians found in the New Testament by a writer who was writing from prison. It is a powerful encouraging book and one we can learn many things from.
As Pastor began his teaching he shared that when we begin to walk with Jesus we experience a spiritual change within us from the inside out.
An internal shift takes place as our faith matures.
He said so often in the beginning we are taught to want a comfortable faith and one that makes it easy for ourselves.
Such as a comfortable church with padded cozy pews and music that is what ‘I’ like with teachings that make me feel good and don’t push me to dig deeper.
(I am not saying padded pews are bad it is for example only)
In the beginning we learn to go to church with the ‘serve me’ attitude instead of entering the thought process of how can I serve others.
He said responsible Christians are not necessarily doing it right.
The real goal for us is intentionality.
Our pastor teaches the concept of the church in different settings how people meet us and we meet them within the context of where we all live.
That might be in a coffee shop, a living room or a restaurant or maybe even in a workplace.
He encourages us to become intentional in our belief and walk with God so that it becomes a decision we make on purpose.
To live a life purposely intentionally relating and listening to the spirit of God within us.
It is through that intentionality that others ‘see’ him through us.
He said we determine our confidence and identity in God
through our direct relationship to him and his word.
If there is no relationship we can’t share in a meaningful way.
If our true identity is not ‘identified’ with a loving God we can’t really share that love with others.
Then he leaned in and said to us,
“Your intimacy with God is your greatest intimidation to the enemy.”
The enemy is anything opposing God’s truth within us.
What captivates our hearts will control our destiny especially if
our destiny is not following after a Holy personal God.
Pastor left us with many thoughts and a question,
“Have you lost the AWE of who He is?”
For me that question brought a deeper meaning.
I thought about the way we displayed our Christmas nativities
and I wondered are we in awe over the story in January
just as we were in December?
What captivates our hearts I think comes from the decisions we choose to make and whether we have lost our feeling of awe towards him.
A question for us is this:
What would it take for us to educe awe in such a way
that what captivates our hearts will control our destiny towards him.
(Educe: to draw forth or bring out, as something potential;
Awe: an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear,
produced by that which is grand or extremely powerful. Inspired with wonder)
Is our passion and longing like the shepherds in the field bowing down in awe of what the angels told them or have we lost the feeling of who He is in our hearts?
Something for us to ask ourselves and think about as we start this new year.
Where is our intimacy and awe today?
Saying Good bye to your mother… in such a wonderful powerful way.
A tribute to a beautiful lady.
Happy Birthday honey…you are a light in my world.
We are a team.
You put up with my funny ways and my memory issues :o)
You are love when I am unlovable
(remember my mumps twice…what a fat face)
You are my cheerleader
My encourager
My friend
for 38 years we have forged together
and for 1 month we were the same age.
Now you are the older man.
(for those who don’t know we are 11 months apart)
You scared me with your liver biopsy but the results were good.
Our God is a mighty God and kept you safe.
Happy Birthday…I hope to share many more with you.
Hope your day is a good one.
So how is the new year treating you?
Are those new years resolutions
(meaning: resolve, determination, perseverance, tenacity; strength and fortitude)
staying strong and firm or are we slacking yet?
I am including myself in this question.
Lately we have had a few snow days and one intention of mine was to go out and walk in it.
To enjoy the ‘beauty’ of the wet crispy stuff on the ground and breathe in the fresh cold air.
My heart wanted to do this but my body was saying ‘cold snow’ means ‘cold feet’ which means ‘cold toes’ which means you will pay for it later. (I have some circulation issues)
At age 57 I can’t do what I used to get away with.
I generally pay for it if I don’t make good choices for myself.
So I chose to stay home and take care of myself and watch the snows beauty from the inside.
As I sat with my coffee the list of things to do grew by the minute.
Finish the ironing.
Work on writing projects.
Organize several rooms.
There is always so much to get done and it often seems we have little time or motivation to do it.
The allure of a good book and a quiet room by a fire was capturing my attention.
It is always easy to move away from what is not so fun and replace it with was is fun.
Writing is high on the list, as I sit next to the ironing pile.
Denial is wonderful in some circumstances
not so wonderful when one is working on the betterment of oneself.
Remember the concept of sabotage and how subtle it can be for us?
I do believe someone once said that creative people just figure out how to be more creative in the midst of what needs to be done.
Perhaps this week has been a challenge for you too.
The intentions of our hearts are important.
We cannot out talk them, over direct them or ignore them.
We must purpose an attitude towards our goals and allow our hearts to achieve them.
So how ARE you doing?
Our pastor continued this last Sunday on the topic of what captivates your heart.
In the pursuit of praying for God to hold your attention.
He said to us:
“Over time you will make decisions that will sabotage your heart and your love for God.”
The sabotage begins slowly most times without you even being aware it’s happening.
(The meaning of sabotage:
any undermining of a cause; to injure or attack; vandalize or cripple;
deliberate destruction; disrupt especially by secret means).
We can have this happen or do this in an unconscious way but it still harms the intention of our heart.
We begin to fall out of love and worship:
When we focus on responsibility instead of relationship.
When we allow other idols
(such as computer, tv, cell phone, you name it)
to entertain our heart.
When we make a list of all the reasons it wasn’t meant to be for us.
When we distance ourselves from others or from God.
When we dwell on unmet expectations and let our heart rest in other places.
It is a slow disintegration of what is meaningful to our heart.
Pastor asked the question: “How do we return to our first intention?”
and return back to our first love.
Returning love:
Is forgetting the ‘if’ clause.
(If it had been easier I could have continued
if they had been different I would have loved more or tried harder
if it it didn’t require so much from me
if I didn’t have to give up so much from my personal life
if IF IF)
We need to stop that way of thinking
if we want to grow deeper and stay faithful
Returning love is remembering.
Returning love is creating margins and boundaries and practising presence.
Returning love is re-establishing the treasures of our heart.
Returning love always means taking a risk.
Returning love is obsessing over who or what you removed from yourself and realizing why.
Was it a good choice?
It all goes back to the same question:
What captivates your heart will determine your destiny.
In this new year
are we ready to clear out and demolish
what is unhealthy and unfruitful in our lives
starting with the subtle sabotage.
A little something for us to think about.
The other day in church our pastor said to us;
“What captivates your heart will determine your destiny ~
what you are passionate about will woo you”
Read that again s l o w l y.
“What captivates your heart will either lead to your demise or to your delight”.
The definition of captivate is this:
to attract and hold the attention or interest of, as by beauty or excellence; to capture;
(when I think if capture I think of an animal who cannot get away)
The definition of passionate is this:
compelled or ruled by intense emotional or strong feeling.
So the question for all of us:
What captivates your heart and your interest most of the time.
Some people get addicted to gambling, some get addicted to shopping, drugs or alcohol, some get addicted to bad choices whether that be in people or in jobs, some are addicted to the Internet or other new things such as texting on their cell phone or playing games on their cell phones.
Addictions are something that enslaves you to something physically or psychologically habit forming.
It is something that pursues you and creates a dependence on it.
The whole point is what captivates your heart and your thinking.
What are you most passionate about could be harming your soul and spirit
Or it could be positive and helpful.
Pastor said to us, “don’t ever get complacent over the things that take you away from those you love including the Lord”
(complacent: pleased especially with oneself often without the awareness of some potential danger or defect; smug, un-bothered or untroubled)
If what you are captivated by is harmful or hurtful to yourself or those you care for
it is time to let it go and start over.
What captivates your heart will determine your destiny.
Do you know what that destiny is for you?
I did it.
I opened my blog to more than ‘who’ I choose.
It is against my grain and personality.
Fear grips me and I feel exposed like ‘someone’ peeking into my life and not asking my permission first.
Most blogs are written so they can be read by anyone.
I am by nature a very private person
but I have been told by more than one or two
that my blog would minister to and help others but
in order for that to happen
the suggestion was for me to open it up.
They can’t be blessed if they never have an opportunity to read it.
In this process it makes me feel vulnerable and watched.
Kind of like someone reading my diary or journal when they didn’t ask first.
I know it IS MORE about ME
than anyone else.
I feel exposed
maybe I will feel ok with the concept in time maybe not.
My husband said to me, “If you wrote a book and sold it
you would never know who purchased and read it
so why are you worried about your blog”
I don’t think I am worried
just feeling vulnerable.
from dictionary.com
vulnerable/vulnerability
1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
2. open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.
3. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend: a vulnerable bridge.
Perhaps it all boils down to actually opening oneself up for others to see
just who you really are.
It is for me “something to think about”
INTENTIONAL
To Be intentional in all things.
To cultivate and move deeper into an attitude of gratitude.
This year I want to become more intentional about many things in life.
Intentional means to choose on purpose.
Making a concerted effort to be intentional about something and knowing the reason why.
Having a strong sense of purpose toward a goal.
I want to be more intentional about our family, and those we love.
Life is short.
If we lose the opportunity to say ‘we love them’ or ‘we appreciate them’ or ‘we are praying for them’ it is a tragic loss.
I want to be more intentional about our friends.
Spending more time with them and cultivating the deep friendships we have making them better and stronger.
I want to be more intentional about sending notes or cards in the mail.
Everyone wants to be remembered.
Everyone wants to know they matter and they are being prayed for.
Encouragement is a gift we can give to others.
It cost very little and it is easy.
A quickly written ~ “I’m thinking of you” note.
A quickly written ~ “I’m praying for you” note.
We have lost the art of handwriting these days.
Everything is on the computer or texts on a phone very seldom do we talk to each other.
Voice inflection tells everything.
Be purposeful to call someone and just chat for a while.
It is good to make personal contact when it happens everyone is blessed.
This year I am purposing in my heart to be more intentional in all the details of my life.
Beginning with relationships.
I wonder more and more, if the first thing should be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but you truly love them.
– Henri J.M. Nouwen –
Moving into my word for the year this picture is a symbol for me.
We cannot do life alone.
We cannot isolate ourselves.
We cannot think we are an island not needing anyones help or encouragement.
Because we have twin grand daughters this picture is meaningful for me.
I saw them as tiny little individuals laying next to each other needing each other for lifes’ hope
life’s richness and life’s heartbeat.
God created us to need others.
Let us not forget that.
Is there someone you need to call today
or write a note to or go visit?
Simplicity
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