by Sharon O | Jun 6, 2012 | Uncategorized
Day two of the challenge we are supposed to write about how we believe in ourselves as a writer.
How we believe in the gift given to us to put words on paper so that a story can be told.
He says to courageously embrace your gift of writing and begin strong not doubting yourself.
When we embrace something that is a strong statement and a close intimate action.
Usually we embrace what matters to us.
So our writing should matter too.
He says to meditate on the gift of writing.
We are to take the time to do what needs to be done for us to write from deep within our spirit.
He says to not let anything distract us.
He even suggested that we get up two hours earlier in the morning for the purpose of writing.
It is encouraging to try to write with a purpose and to learn to write well.
I find my confidence is not as strong as it should be or perhaps could be on this topic.
This challenge is going to push me into a new place and purpose.
I wait for the final lesson.
by Sharon O | Jun 6, 2012 | Uncategorized
This week the blogging community has been challenged by a man who writes and encourages and teaches others to pursue their gifts and abilities.
I don’t know this person and I am not familiar with anything about him but I do appreciate his challenge.
It is hard.
He shared the 15 habits of great writers and challenged us to ‘write about them’.
The first one was to declare that you ‘are a writer’.
I will see if I can stay disciplined enough to write something for this challenge every day.
Writing has been a journey for me and to actually say or even to believe that I am a writer takes a lot of ‘strength’ from inside.
On my new business cards part of the title says creative writer and blog author but do I really believe that in my heart?
It feels like pride to me, as if I am saying ‘look at me… notice what I am writing’.
The flip side of that feeling is the bigger issue:
I read this the other day and put it on my facebook because it was such a wonderful reminder.
“The most fundamental thing is not how we think of God, but what God thinks of us.” ~ CS Lewis~
I know God loves me and has given me gifts to share for others.
Could writing be one of those gifts?
Perhaps.
Do I need to trust more or deeper in order for me to believe the gift he has given is good enough for others to receive?
Perhaps I do.
I am a writer.
I think I can say that but what is the next step I need to do to believe that my words can help others?
A few things for me to think about today as this challenge begins.
by Sharon O | Jun 3, 2012 | Uncategorized
“But the Lord said to Samuel,
“Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.
The Lord does not look at the things people look at.
People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
~ 1 Samuel 16:7 ~
Joining Deidra on jumping tandem ~ The Sunday community ~
by Sharon O | May 31, 2012 | Uncategorized
Two days ago we received a call from my son in law telling us our daughter and her three daughters were in a serious car accident and our daughter was being transported to the hospital in an ambulance.
I couldn’t really process that news.
My heart felt like it was sinking.
We had a 45 minute drive and the whole time I was praying and hoping and wondering what was going on.
It is one of those times when you say an arrow prayer right up to God asking Him for protection.
It felt surreal for me to have half my family in one crumpled car.
The angels were working overtime and did their job very well.
The little girls were not visibly hurt at least for that day.
Sarah our daughter had neck and back trauma but not enough to create serious issues.
She could move her legs and feet and even though she was slammed hard it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.
Many things could have been worse.
The lady who rear ended her going over fifty five miles per hour said ‘it was her fault’ as she was trying to light a cigarette and she apparently didn’t see our daughters car stopped with her left signal on. Sarah had three cars heading towards her and one full speed car coming behind her and the only thing she could do was try to get away from the full impact.
When she was hit from the rear it spun her car and pushed it into a fenced field missing a telephone pole by less than a few feet.
I believe the angels worked quickly to keep them all safe.
They will have residual headaches and soreness but they are alive and even though the car is crumpled our family was protected and safe.
I believe in Angels.
I believe that nothing is by accident.
Even this kind of experience has a purpose.
I just feel so relieved that it all turned out as good as it did.
Have you ever had a time of feeling so incredibly thankful?
It would be good for us all to say ‘thank you’.
by Sharon O | May 27, 2012 | Uncategorized
The most important thing in life to remember!
You are unique… individual… and created by God for a purpose!
Psalm 139:
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
(joining Deidra on jumping tandem on Sundays)
{Photo by Larry O from Oregon}
by Sharon O | May 24, 2012 | Uncategorized
If you are reading this on the 24th it is important for you to go back and read the last four ‘posts’ I did on the 23rd. They are in order telling a story…beginning with the title “13 years ago.”
by Sharon O | May 24, 2012 | Uncategorized
As the night continued our daughter was not out of recovery and as a concerned mom I could not leave and go home until I knew she was going to be stable and settled in her room.
It was close to 1:30am when she finally was out of recovery and I could head home for some much needed sleep for myself.
Since it was a work day this mom and new grandma had been awake almost 24 hours.
I headed home and at the same time I was leaving my husband was heading to the hospital to see our daughter and our new grand daughter.
We were grandparents for the first time.
We were on a new journey together and it would be a change for us.
I believe God knew it would be a good change.
One of my favorite pictures of grandpa and our new ‘little one’ is this one.
She had been in nicu a few days as her IV was gone and it looks like she was resting peacefully.
As a first time grandpa to lay your hand on a soft ‘tiny’ person and pray over them is an honor.
She stayed in nicu for 3 weeks needing different levels of care.
Then they released her to go home at 3 weeks and 3 days old weighing only 3 pounds 9 ounces.
When our daughter called me at work I was surprised she could go home that soon.
After 6 weeks of being home the time came for Sarah ‘our daughter’ to go back to work and someone just had to be with this little tiny bundle so ‘grandma’ quit her job and stayed home with her for three years giving her a good start at life.
We both needed this time for nurture, growth and renewed hope.
I believe God knew my heart needed a purpose to give and nurture and
learn to love again perhaps even for the first time on a new and different level.
Faith Elizabeth was our miracle baby ~
here she is at age 5 months weighing only 8pds with dimples and beautiful blue eyes.
Our joy had come and our lives were changed.
I was a stay at home grandma and loving it.
God was restoring my heart and giving me peace.
Home became a ‘safe’ place for me.
Our marriage was restored with a lot of work and we knew we were beginning a life together as grandparents.
Our story is her story.
She was our miracle.
So many things could have happened with her and didn’t.
God saw her and formed and completed her beauty way before she was even born.
Psalm 13913-16
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.
by Sharon O | May 24, 2012 | Uncategorized
As my husband shared his story later with us.
He was called by our son and was told that the baby was coming early and he needed to come home as soon as he could. He had great grandpa with him and they were driving down the road as fast as they could without breaking the speed limit. Our son was a policeman at the time and alerted the state troopers in that area that his dad needed to be found.
It was dark by then and a police man pulled him over just to tell him that ‘his grand child was coming soon’ and to drive safely home.
While he continued to drive home in the dark of the night we waited at the hospital with great anticipation.
Worry crept in and sat down beside me and of course all the ‘what if’s joined too’ emotionally I was a mess but had to stay strong in the midst of the crisis that was taking place.
The doctor came out about 10:50pm and said to us:
“Mom is stable and in recovery and baby girl weighed in at 2pds 11oz she is NICU (which is a neonatal intensive care unit) and she will stay there until she is strong enough to leave for home”.
This was our first experience with a neonatal setting and very scary.
This is where tiny babies are placed to ‘grow’ in an incubator setting.
My only experience was one of watching little baby chicks in a warming unit not little tiny babies trying to grow. With anticipation and fear I walked in and met her for the first time.
She was precious. She was bright eyed. She was so very tiny.
She was beautiful. She was serious with dark eyes staring at me as if to say ‘will you always love me and be my grand mother’.
She was everything I could ever imagine only tinier.
I was instantly in love and I promised her at that time to do everything in my power to keep her safe and protected and be her grandma for as long as God allowed me to live.
I determined in my heart to be there for my daughter and her daughter.
They named her Faith Elizabeth…
she was a gift to us when we needed something very special.
When we needed change and purpose and a new reason to love.
God knew it would take a baby to change our hearts.
by Sharon O | May 24, 2012 | Uncategorized
The baby wasn’t due till July and so life was just moving in a distant direction between work and our relationship with each other.
Days moved into weeks and we still had not solved issues that were dragging us down.
Therapy didn’t seem to help this time either.
It was a sad journey for us and we had no clue what it would take for things to change for us.
It was around five in the afternoon on the twenty fourth of May when I came home to listen to the answering machine.
There was a call from our daughter who was crying and she said:
“I am in crisis and we have to get the baby out tonight… you can come to the hospital if you want to”.
(we laugh about that now ~ how silly of her)
My husband was in Bend about three to four hours away from where I was and our daughter was in deep crisis about to deliver a premature baby.
I was immediately in shock.
I called my son and daughter in law and she drove me as we followed our daughter and her husband en route to the labor and delivery section of the hospital.
Forty minutes later we arrived after what seemed like a slow ‘processional’ to the emergency department.
I didn’t know at the time but according to the nurses waiting for her ‘she should have been in an ambulance’.
The nurse from the first hospital had laid her down in their car on her side and had told her ‘don’t move any other way so the baby can stay stable’. The heart beat would change as our daughter would move to get comfortable. There was low amniotic water on the baby and our daughter was in pre-eclampsia and toxemia which could prove fatal to one or both of them. Not arriving in an ambulance was a very bad decision on someones part when they did arrive and all chaos broke loose.
Our daughter was rushed to the labor and delivery floor.
I was still in shock not knowing what to think or feel.
As our wait moved into the early night time hours our son made sure I had something to eat.
Usually in times of tension or stress that is the last thing one thinks about and he was just making sure I was taking care of myself through this process.
I remember sitting in the waiting room feeling so alone (even though I wasn’t alone) with deep thoughts on my heart about so many things.
The doctor came out and told us that mom and baby were stable but the baby might be three pounds once they get the emergency surgery finished.
I felt myself begin to cry.
Holding back the tears I prayed for the first time in months.
I don’t think I bargained with God or promised anything I just ‘prayed’.
How would we become grand parents and start a new role together feeling distant and apart from each other?
For the first time in many months God was beginning to stir my heart and turn my heart towards our home.
by Sharon O | May 24, 2012 | Uncategorized
The year was 1999.
Our twenty fifth wedding anniversary was in the fall the year before and we were struggling in our relationship with each other.
Isn’t it said that every couple goes through a deep intense season at least once in the lifetime of their marriage?
We were like two ships in an ocean passing by each other and never acknowledging the journey we both were travelling.
Something happened between us and we were distant with each other harboring deep hurt and pain.
Words were few and when spoken they were more like the small talk of two strangers who really didn’t know each other.
For months we had no connection emotionally along with no words of ‘real meaning’ shared.
At this point we were both working full time.
It was convenient to keep the distance between us ‘not a topic to talk about’ by evening we were both tired and in our own ‘thoughts’.
I was still going to therapy, and trying to figure out how I would move out on my own.
Yes … I said … move out.
The reality was for me my finances couldn’t pay the rent or food or gas or food for my dog which would go with me of course and my two cats.
The type of dog I had required a yard and I couldn’t find that either.
Therapy had to be a part of the plan and that was not financially in the picture either if I moved.
It seemed the roadblocks were big and the reality set in that I had no choice but to stay where I was.
God was preparing me in many ways and on many levels.
My therapist worked with my ‘heart’ and challenged me on many levels too.
Our daughter had told us in the fall she was expecting a new little baby.
That was something to look forward to and about the only thing that was worth holding onto at the time.
The month of May began and our daughter was looking very cute and round with our first grand child due in July.
I knew it would be life changing for us all but I had no idea what that really would mean.
