Four Feet Eleven

by Sharon O | Sep 19, 2012 | Uncategorized

Continuing with with writing a letter to your teenage self:

As you grew confident in the church ‘youth singing group’ you would sing this song during most every concert.
They thought because you were 4 feet 10 and weighed under 90 pounds you fit the song very well.
The audiences loved your energy and your ability to entertain them.
You toured with the group about two years singing at assorted churches, youth events and even prisons.
You didn’t mind doing solo’s and even did a few duets.
You found purpose and a reason to get up in the morning when you found your voice.
You became engaged to be married during your senior year and you soon found out the wedding plans were not really your own. 
You relinquished the task to your mother and grandmother.
Your grandmother handmade your dress and you planned on keeping it for years as it was a keepsake.
At age 18 you were planning a high school graduation and also a wedding.
The colors would be fall colors, yes, you would have avocado green, fall oranges and yellows with a touch of white in your wedding.
The guys would wear yellow tuxedos and the girls would have dresses using the fall colors .
The flowers were fall mums and some roses mixed with greens.
You created your wedding announcement, thank you notes and rolled up scroll to hand out to the guests in your graphic arts class your senior year. 
You not only received all of them without cost you also received dual and triple A’s on your report card.
You were responsible for paying for your wedding so you had to make good inexpensive choices.
A family friend took your pictures and your ‘new’ mother in law made the cake.
At age 18 you stood between girlhood and womanhood.
Somewhere in the middle your childhood left.
You would find yourself soon walking down an aisle to a new and different life and another move.
As Karen and Richard Carpenter would sing, “we have only just begun”.
You would leave your old life to begin a new one 
only this time it would be a choice of the heart instead of a choice made by others.

“Bridge over Troubled Water” Simon & Garfunkel

by Sharon O | Sep 18, 2012 | Uncategorized

Continuing on with writing to your teenage self:

As your teen years continued you moved from your first year of high school into your second.
Somewhere in this time frame your mother was remarried and you knew you were mostly in the way.
With someone new in the home you also learned to lock doors.
You learned to be hypervigilent to not go home alone if someone else was there.
You learned to be cautious with all relationships.
You dated some but none seemed a good match for you and of course how would you know at such an early age. 
You began to go to church and you found God in a solid miraculous way.
You sang in the church singing group and you took first and state in speech competitions in the serious interpretation and poetry category. 
You also remember there was no one in the audience to watch you 
receive your reward telling you that you did a great job.
Church became your main ‘out of the home’ experience aside from school.
Church also was what you got grounded from.
There was a prayer room above the upstairs in the church and you would sit there for hours sometimes after school just waiting alone in the quiet.
One of your good friends had cystic fibrosis and you knew she prayed for you always.
Her faith was strong and you didn’t fully understand it.
You had some very serious ups and downs in this time frame of life.
There was also a motorcycle accident which injured your knee in a serious way.
You listened to Janis Joplin and related to her type of escapism through music. 
Music was very important to you.
It helped you manage what you felt inside.
Even if the feelings were very numb a song sometimes would give them life.
Somewhere in your sophomore year you met the man you would eventually marry.
But neither one of you knew that at the time.
You continued in your art and your speech classes and still didn’t academically improve.
Those who knew you said you were funny, serious, and easy to know.
You were faithful to those who were faithful to you. 
You were still always very concerned about your sister.

I Am a Rock – Simon & Garfunkel Lyrics

by Sharon O | Sep 18, 2012 | Uncategorized

Continuing on the topic of writing to your teenage self.
I have been going back in time…
like a time warp of some kind whirling back and back and further back as if I am in ‘the twilight zone’.
I sort of see her … now what would I say to her?
Looking at her… eyes and standing beside her.
At age 14 you have been through many things.
Most of them difficult and yet you navigated through them.
You have moved many times.
You have gone to many different schools.
You learned to not attach because if you did you might not be there in six months.
Your junior high years were chaotic.
You learned to pull in and tightly wrap an imaginary ‘bubble’ around you. 
Personal space was important to you.
Time alone was your place of refuge.
There were two different high schools in your freshman year.
This time it was different the last school was the one you finally stayed in till you graduated.
Your sophomore year you were searching and struggling and this is the kind of song you would surround yourself immersed into the music sitting on the floor in your bedroom leaning against the bed. 
Your place of refuge.
Your safety zone with the door shut.
Yes you would be alone a lot.
You felt safest alone.
With one sister married and the other a runaway on the streets you were left to pick up the pieces of responsibility.
The mother required that of you.
You always did what was expected of you and rarely did you say anything about it.
There really wasn’t any choice.
Your best friend was Joyce and she came to stay with you a lot when the adults were gone.
Your other best friend was Cindy. She knew you in junior high.
You could be good friends with those who cared and you knew who didn’t.
You excelled in art as you drew pictures of black and white trees.
You loved Choir and hated PE.
You were not much of a student academically and you kept the ‘world’ away from you. 
You were quiet, responsible, funny and very serious.
You were a rock not ready to be opened.
   

Blue Skies from Joel

by Sharon O | Sep 17, 2012 | Uncategorized

This morning, I went for a run. Unlike usual, it felt great!
The crisp autumn air combined with the warmth of the sun on my face brought unescapable joy -even though life has me traveling through dark valleys. I find that it is so easy to get down when that is the direction I keep looking. But the key to climbing out of the dumps is looking in the direction you want to climb – up.
When I got home, I went to the backyard and crawled in my hammock perched underneath a vibrant red Japanese maple – and all I could see were blue skies. In Portland, I know the clouds are certainly coming. But learn a lesson from the trees – they never stop reaching for the light. We need to remember that just beyond the comparably thin layer of clouds, there are infinite blue skies. And like the trees, we need to keep reaching…even on the cloudy days.
So today, I encourage you to stop, look up, and take a deep breath.
There are blue skies.
And remember the lesson of the trees and never stop reaching

“The Sound of Silence- original version – Simon and Garfunkel

by Sharon O | Sep 16, 2012 | Uncategorized

There is a new theme in the blog land to write a letter to your teenage self.
Wow I thought
that would be really hard for me to do.
My teenage years were not the easiest.
Not typical.
Not normal or even peaceful.
Oh we lived in a clean nicely kept home.
For many reasons I was quiet and very cautious.
For many reasons no one knew the life behind closed doors.
This attempt will be a difficult one.
Be patient with me as I process this young teen who didn’t know herself very well.
The first thing:
The first thing I would say to you is this:
God saw you when you were in your room with the door shut
listening to the quiet music of Simon and Garfunkel.
You related to it. 
You sang every word and stored them deep into your spirit.
You were alone most of the time and when you were not
You allowed others around you sometimes 
although
You rarely let others close to your heart.
You were reserved and cautious and you had every reason to be.
You had every reason to be.

On this day

by Sharon O | Sep 11, 2012 | Uncategorized

On September 11th.
I remember it was early in the morning as we were either making breakfast or just finishing it.
The TV was on as we were watching either Good morning America or a local Oregon show.
The station changed into a scene so catastrophic it was hard to believe or imagine.
The news stations were not just showing and delivering news.
They were bringing to the face of America a tragedy.
A sorrowful moment.
A day of disbelief and unimaginable terror …we were all silent as we watched.
Words could not even touch the scenes that we were watching.
The first airplane hit… then the second… the news of other planes going down.
Then in total absolute shock the first tower began to tumble down
crumbling like a ill designed tower of metal.
We watched dust and debris floating all over the screen filled with people running.
Then the second tower weakened by its broken foundations fell toppling itself onto the remains of the first.
I could not get away from the images they were showing on the screen.
My grand daughter was two at the time and I tried to watch it without her seeing the horror of the moment.
This was live viewing as our modern technology allows the sounds and
the screams mixed with panic as we watched the
the dust falling
and the trauma unfolded into our own living rooms.
With my stomach in knots all day long churning and turning like a washing machine agitating
like others I was glued to the television set and could hardly remove myself from the family room.
On September 11th we were attacked like no other time in history unless we remember pearl harbor.
On our American soil.
Our land of the free and home of the brave.
Many of those brave souls died.
Those who didn’t die had their spirits changed forever.
Nothing would have told each and every one of them that on that day
as they rose to get ready for work or school,
have a muffin or a cup of coffee.
That it would be their last one. EVER.
That their lives would be changed
in a moment… in an instant.
Can you even imagine?
Saying goodbye to your loved one with plans for the evening or weekend to come
or dropping your child into the daycare not realizing it would be the last hug,
the last kiss or the last little smile you would share with them.
There were children in the buildings just as there were adults.
It was an American tragedy eleven years ago.
My fear is that we have forgotten so much.
My fear is that our ‘American patriotism’ that rose to the surface so many days after the tragic moments
has numbed itself.
I pray we never ever let our guard down to let evil prevail.
We must be strong as a nation.
Our United States of America must always remember
we are stronger than our enemy.
Evil did not win then and it cannot win now.
May God continue to Bless Our America.

Stopping to Breathe (from Joel)

by Sharon O | Sep 11, 2012 | Uncategorized