Continuing on with writing to your teenage self:
As your teen years continued you moved from your first year of high school into your second.
Somewhere in this time frame your mother was remarried and you knew you were mostly in the way.
With someone new in the home you also learned to lock doors.
You learned to be hypervigilent to not go home alone if someone else was there.
You learned to be cautious with all relationships.
You dated some but none seemed a good match for you and of course how would you know at such an early age.
You began to go to church and you found God in a solid miraculous way.
You sang in the church singing group and you took first and state in speech competitions in the serious interpretation and poetry category.
You also remember there was no one in the audience to watch you
receive your reward telling you that you did a great job.
Church became your main ‘out of the home’ experience aside from school.
Church also was what you got grounded from.
There was a prayer room above the upstairs in the church and you would sit there for hours sometimes after school just waiting alone in the quiet.
One of your good friends had cystic fibrosis and you knew she prayed for you always.
Her faith was strong and you didn’t fully understand it.
You had some very serious ups and downs in this time frame of life.
There was also a motorcycle accident which injured your knee in a serious way.
You listened to Janis Joplin and related to her type of escapism through music.
Music was very important to you.
It helped you manage what you felt inside.
Even if the feelings were very numb a song sometimes would give them life.
Somewhere in your sophomore year you met the man you would eventually marry.
But neither one of you knew that at the time.
You continued in your art and your speech classes and still didn’t academically improve.
Those who knew you said you were funny, serious, and easy to know.
You were faithful to those who were faithful to you.
You were still always very concerned about your sister.