Continuing on the topic of writing to your teenage self.
I have been going back in time…
like a time warp of some kind whirling back and back and further back as if I am in ‘the twilight zone’.
I sort of see her … now what would I say to her?
Looking at her… eyes and standing beside her.
At age 14 you have been through many things.
Most of them difficult and yet you navigated through them.
You have moved many times.
You have gone to many different schools.
You learned to not attach because if you did you might not be there in six months.
Your junior high years were chaotic.
You learned to pull in and tightly wrap an imaginary ‘bubble’ around you.
Personal space was important to you.
Time alone was your place of refuge.
There were two different high schools in your freshman year.
This time it was different the last school was the one you finally stayed in till you graduated.
Your sophomore year you were searching and struggling and this is the kind of song you would surround yourself immersed into the music sitting on the floor in your bedroom leaning against the bed.
Your place of refuge.
Your safety zone with the door shut.
Yes you would be alone a lot.
You felt safest alone.
With one sister married and the other a runaway on the streets you were left to pick up the pieces of responsibility.
The mother required that of you.
You always did what was expected of you and rarely did you say anything about it.
There really wasn’t any choice.
Your best friend was Joyce and she came to stay with you a lot when the adults were gone.
Your other best friend was Cindy. She knew you in junior high.
You could be good friends with those who cared and you knew who didn’t.
You excelled in art as you drew pictures of black and white trees.
You loved Choir and hated PE.
You were not much of a student academically and you kept the ‘world’ away from you.
You were quiet, responsible, funny and very serious.
You were a rock not ready to be opened.