We went to a memorial service a week ago.
As I was sitting there listening to the friends talk about the one who passed away
it made me think of my ‘life’.
If I died suddenly what would others say about me.
What unfinished work would I have left.
What would my life’s statement leave behind.
The legacy that I have tried to pursue is good and honorable
but would the real value of it speak
to the ones who would be sitting at my service?
I wonder
what others would say.
I wonder
did I make enough impact.
I wonder
how can I change the vision or direction right now.
Just in case.
None of us knows if we have tomorrow.
The one who passed away most likely didn’t know although they said he might have known.
He had his bible open.
(very similar to the story of my husbands brother who left too soon).
I wonder
how that would feel to anticipate the passing of time.
Part of the reason I have a word of the year is
so that I can center in and become quiet.
It is necessary in order to do things differently.
As I have been sitting and pondering
thinking and praying
a song came to me.
A song I dedicated to my husbands mother several years ago after she passed from our lives.
Perhaps it means a lot to me too.
Perhaps it would be a part of my legacy should I ever leave early.
Just wanting to share a few things I am thinking about today.
My new word of the year has brought a challenge to me already.
Not expecting it.
I settled into the word ‘Quiet‘… believing it would teach me a great lesson. Then my computer went down.
I said in a calm voice to myself, “This is not what I expected”.
It is not hard for me to turn the television off or the radio and sit in our home in silence.
It is peaceful to not have noise.
The challenge was adjusting to no computer which in turn meant no writing which in turn meant no interaction with others or online communication.
It was hard.
Did I say it was hard? yes …
I did what I could to remain patient and listen to the message of waiting and being still and finding new things to do with my time.
Exercise was a first start. I began to do that slowly.
Cleaning was another start.
The den was a disaster and in order for a computer repairman to come into our ‘home’ the room had to be straightened up and put into order.
I wondered as I was cleaning if I do that with the Lord.
“I will spend time when my heart is right then you can see me in my ‘best’.”
As if he doesn’t already sees the condition of our brokenness?
The word of the year has brought me a first test. Quiet can mean many things.
As the year continues I will remain in a quiet mode and continue
to be still and know that HE is God.
The lesson is to listen… within the stillness for the message
then allow the message to teach us what our heart needs.
My people will abide in peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings,
and in quiet resting places.
Isaiah 32:18
~~~~
but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of
a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:4
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God, my shepherd!
I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
Psalm 23:1 msg
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I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.
Psalm 131:2 msg
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So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment.
Sisters ~
Visiting parents who are aging and needing help.
We support each other.
Our tears represent words unspoken between us saying,
“I understand. It is sad”
Our journey is not over.
It is actually in the middle phase of decision making and choices.
Mother is 81 and dad is almost 86.
Both in ill health.
One remembers. One does not.
Neither one of them very strong.
Our journey is not over till we say good bye to them.
Sisters ~ supporting each other in ways only sisters can.
Till the time comes for us to walk another road ‘as sisters’
as a new journey will begin for us.
Joining Diedra on jumping tandem with the Sunday community.
A question that has been brewing for a season now.
In my mind and in my heart.
Many of us who are in the sandwich generation between grand children and senior parents are torn between the care of both.
Senior parents add a dimension of life we are not yet familiar with.
We struggle with what was years ago and what is right now.
Memories dim and parents don’t often remember the child they once loved and cared for.
Memories dim and parents don’t often see or are not aware of the depth of care the child is giving to them now in their aged years.
For some of us it is hard to see the parent who was once strong and able become frail and unable.
What do we do in these situations and how are we supposed to feel?
Sometimes it would seem right to feel ‘resentment’ or ‘guilt’ depending on which side the care taking we are sitting on.
Why is it when we are almost retired and anxiously waiting to do something fun for ourselves finally. We become strapped into a care giving role again.
That is they way life is I guess.
When we are young parents we care for our children and we give up our ‘fun days’ for the sake of their needs.
When we are mid parent ages with teenagers we can leave and often do but not without worry or concern and strings attached to rules given and strictly enforced.
When we are mid aged caregivers we reach beyond our days and care for the senior parents who no longer can care for themselves.
Even if they live in assisted living homes they still need monitored and watched and observed and listened to and helped throughout a long day.
The path between ability and disability is shortened often by a diagnosis of cancer or dementia or age related diseases.
For a season now I have often wondered how it feels to be the child caring for a parent when the roles reverse themselves.
I watch my sister feed our mother and noticed how comical yet so sad it was as age and it’s issues bring change for both of them.
I watch my husband and his dad who is 90 and the way the son makes sure the fathers coat is buttoned or the hat is on correctly to warm a balding head.
It is all about caring and giving and role reversals and change.
The parent with little children is not free to do what they want anytime they want and the child with aging parents isn’t all that different either.
A free day does not mean the phone won’t ring and a fall doesn’t happen or a new need arises.
Time is not always kind to us and one day the reality of their passing will be here.
That day will come with mixed emotions when it ends for all of us.
Freedom doesn’t happen without a cost.
We give of ourselves.
We go out of our way and we give up some things because it is the right thing to do.
Never knowing when the role will end.
Never knowing when the phone call will happen to say it is over for them and for us.
Then it seems not too long after that as the years move forward the role reversal will begin again and we will become the senior parent and our children will become the caretakers giving up their time so that we can be comfortable and loved.
When the roles reverse themselves the only thing we can do is remember life is fragile and soon all we will have is memories.
I am not sure where this originally came from but it is powerful and needs to be shared.
We all have the capacity within us to rescue someone’s heart with a hug or a slight touch or a smile.
We all have the capacity to look beyond ourselves for a moment.
I love this picture because it is beautiful and because our daughter had twins. Let us not forget to embrace those whom we love.
joining Deidra on jumping tandem with the sunday community.
The buzz of the alarm rudely awakens me from warm slumber wrapped within flannel sheets.
I stretch and wake and want to sleep more as my body moves towards a hot shower.
The steam wakes my spirit and senses and alerts my brain that this is morning.
I fumble through folded jeans and hanging shirts for the right comfort wear and the hair dryer warms me as the day begins.
Quiet follows me as I make my way downstairs.
It is peaceful and dark and silent.
The world is not awake.
Rumbling noises comes from the coffee pot and my smudge cat lets me know her dish needs attention.
Within this quiet thoughts roam around and present themselves.
They throw words at me demanding paper and pen and time for expression.
This quiet is necessary.
The only disturbance is the hum of the refrigerator and a car or two outside.
It is quiet as I wait for a little one to arrive and a new day to begin.
The darkness and the waiting is good.
I am learning to love the quiet.
Throughout my day it follows me.
No television or radio can teach me what quiet teaches.
It is in the stillness we find peace within ourselves.
Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God.
Isaiah 32:18
My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwelling, and in quiet resting places. I am learning to love the quiet.
This is so wonderful… I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Gloria…
mine eyes have seen the glory of the Lord.
He stands above the rulers of this world.
He is a glorious Lord.
And worthy of our praise.
One Word 2018 Simplify/2019 Simplify/2020 Rest, 2021/Comfort
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my 2017 picture
Philipians 4:13
I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ==================== Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." Courage is not the absence of fear but it's taking action in the midst of it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.
It's your heart, not the dictionary that gives meaning to your words. Matthew 12:34 (msg) version.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Below you will find a few of my favorite websites or blogs. They have given me encouragement and challenged me on this journey.
Ann Voskamp's blog A holy Experience This image of a bleeding heart represents a journey of healing from brokenness to wholeness. Some of my favorite books: One thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
Married over 46 years and entered into my 65th year of life.
I am a mother of two and grandmother of six and mom to two very spoiled kitties. I love to worship and encourage and of course write whenever I can find a topic or subject to share about.
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Thank you for visiting my blog.
I hope you find it encouraging and that it gives you
'Something to think about'. The vision for this is to challenge the reader into a new and different way of thinking. I appreciate and always value your comments. Having others walk alongside and join in the sharing is part of the process.
Thank you for joining me... on this journey. As we get encouraged ~ Lord help us to encourage others. "And the day came when the risk to remain a tight bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin my blog button The crosses are found on a beach at Winema Christian Camp on the Oregon coast.. a place to relax and find God in the process. My favorite place ....to rest and restore my spirit.
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