by Sharon O | Sep 7, 2013 | Uncategorized
My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him.
My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him;
for my hope and expectation are from Him.
I must calm down and turn to God; He is my only hope.
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
Patiently wait for God alone, my soul!
For He is the one who gives me confidence.
I find rest in God; only He gives me hope.
Silence
A quiet gentle place.
Stillness and peaceful.
Anticipation of rest and slowing down for my soul.
It doesn’t matter what version I read of this verse
the same promise is repeated over and over for me.
I have great assurance that I am not alone.
{do not know whose picture this is I found it on pinterest and it spoke to my heart so deeply I wanted to share it. If it belongs to anyone reading this I hope I have permission to use it.}
by Sharon O | Sep 7, 2013 | Uncategorized
Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her.
I remember how she used to sit at the top of the stairs and meow loudly looking for me.
I would say ‘Smudgie’ and head up stairs and she would run to the computer chair and wait for me.
It is very empty without her presence.
There is something about a purring warm fuzzy body next to me
as I write.
She would nudge me… and want to be petted.
She liked her treats. Just because. I didn’t worry about her weight.
The couch was a favorite place for her to sit and rest.
She loved to be right where we were sitting.
When we moved the couch out she stayed upstairs most of the time.
I missed her way before she was even gone.
My little one said to me “Smudge is in kitty heaven and she will be alright and happy.”
Yes she will be.
I am just remembering those sweet times.
Sixteen years is a long time and I wasn’t really ready to say goodbye but I did know we had no choice.
It was the right thing to do.
It doesn’t make it any easier especially when I am
remembering some moments at the end of the week.
by Sharon O | Sep 5, 2013 | Uncategorized
by Sharon O | Sep 4, 2013 | Uncategorized
Today I said good bye to my buddy.
She was my computer chair warmer.
I had to sit next to her as she wouldn’t really move if it was time for me to write.
We would share the chair.
She would purr and purr and then put her paw on my leg wanting to be petted.
She would lay her head against my ribs and just sit… with me.
She would be so patient… until it was time for me leave then she could stretch out and take the full warm chair for her sleep.
Her name was Smudge. A tortoise shell calico and her age was 16. 1997-2013
She weighed 10 pounds 6 oz today. A small old lady.
She was very loved and will be deeply missed.
When I couldn’t find her I would look on the computer chair, or the dining room chair or when we had a couch she would be on the corner of the top of the couch.
She was never outside.
Years ago I worked at an aviation company and one of the ladies there had a new batch of kittens.
I told my husband about them and about the picture she showed me.
He sort of ignored me.
I already had a large black kitty who was about age one at the time and two dogs.
He just didn’t think I would bring another one in the home.
SO he said, “you don’t need another cat”.
Really? She came home with me the next day.
She was the size of a tea cup and when he held her in his lap.
He named her Smudge.
She was as I have always said ‘MY perfect child.’
She never did anything wrong. Even in her senior years she would sometimes get sick on the floor but nothing overly terrible.
The vet said she had congestive heart failure and maybe a tumor and there was nothing he could recommend for her other than to let her pass away in peace.
He said no antibiotics would work as she was very sick.
So they gave her a calming shot and she quickly laid down on the table.
I petted her and he gave her the last ‘sleeping shot’.
It was peaceful. Incredibly hard. I petted her and cried.
I knew I had to say goodbye. Touching her for the last time.
She is peaceful now.
The house is quiet. I am deeply saddened.
It is a deep loss for me.
Good bye miss Smudge may you always know we loved you.
by Sharon O | Aug 28, 2013 | Uncategorized
If someone would have told me my heart would expand
to love more than my two children
I am not sure I would have believed them
But when those two children had three children of their own
my heart was filled to over flowing love and joy and wonderment and adoration and praise.
We started our life as grandparents with one
then one became three
then three became six and
now we are so incredibly blessed to know and love each one of them.
Each are different. Each are individual. Each are unique.
Even the twins are very different from each other.
If someone would have told us that having each one of these precious little people would add to our family in ways that we could ever imagine.
Would I have believed them? 
Would I have believed them if they told me my daughter would have three daughters
and two would be identical twins?
OR my son would have three sons?
If someone would have told me that being a grandparent is the most precious, most rewarding, most exhausting, most challenging and the most reason to pray.
Would I have believed them?
by Sharon O | Aug 20, 2013 | Uncategorized
I went to visit my parents this weekend.
Dad is stable but definitely not well.
Mom is reviving a bit.
It is strange and sad and surreal to see your parents old and needing care.
I often wonder
what will happen to me when I am that age.
Will there be foster homes who are good and take good care of seniors.
They say the new 60 is 40 and will we get younger as we age and eventually be
out of our minds before our bodies leave?
Or out of our bodies before our minds leave?
Which is worse?
To know… your legs don’t work…
Your hands don’t work.
Your ability to feed yourself is gone or even go to the restroom alone is gone.
Which is worse?
To have your mind able and your body not so strong?
Or your body able and your mind not remembering what should be?
Growing old is hard.
It is painful.
It is a walk of quiet words and gentle reminders from those who do the caring.
It is a giving when you want to not give any more.
From the care givers…
It is anger not shared… or sometimes shared when it shouldn’t be.
It is a gentle reminder that we all need compassion and caring and
patience and kindness.
When our real feelings are to scream and say, “do you not hear me?”
It is a gentle reminder for us.
That we all will be in this place someday.
And when we get there we can only hope and only pray that someone
will care enough
to speak for us when we are not able to speak for ourselves.
That there will be someone stronger in mind and spirit than our ‘situation’ and who will not be afraid to say
this is not working.
This needs to change.
I wonder… when the time comes will someone have a voice when I don’t?
It is a reasonable question.
by Sharon O | Aug 11, 2013 | Uncategorized
At about the same time Jesus left the house and sat on the beach.
In no time at all a crowd gathered along the shoreline, forcing him to get into a boat.
Using the boat as a pulpit, he addressed his congregation, telling stories.
Joining Deidra on jumping tandem and the Sunday Community.
by Sharon O | Aug 9, 2013 | Uncategorized
The word for this Friday’s five minute challenge is Lonely.
You write for five minutes with no editing and no revisions.
As I walked into the lobby I noticed the men and women just sitting.
Some were in a chair or love seat waiting… as if in anticipation
of a visitor coming.
There were others who leaned around a piano played by wrinkled hands
and memories that are blurred of songs and of notes that were easy so long ago.
The keys playing
some in tune and some not.
In a loud force as if to say by golly ‘I am here and I can do it again’.
If I stop and look at the faces I see a desperate loneliness.
It is an empty space.
Where hollowed eyes and empty souls sit and wait.
We are uncomfortable when we think of what they are waiting for.
The home is not filled often unless those from the outside choose to come inside
to visit.
I see this in a care home where my sister lives.
I also see it the care home where my parents live.
We will all face this kind of loneliness someday
where months and days run together
and doctor appointments will tell us when it’s time to go out of the doors.
It is a different kind of loneliness.
A heart and soul kind.
Where aging souls sit in reclined chairs and stare at televisions
set on one channel.
Lonely.
It is a quiet and hard place to deal with.
Even when we are together we can feel the lonely.
by Sharon O | Aug 8, 2013 | Uncategorized
The last few months have been rather busy with grand children and other assorted things.
At one point in time when it was really quiet… and calm
I felt a nudge from the Lord.
Now I am not saying I had a ‘real’ audible conversation with the Lord but it is a knowing…an internal conviction.
Ever had one of those?
The conversation went a bit like this.
“Do you remember when you received the word Quiet for the word of the year?”
I said, “Yes.”
“Well sometime the meaning of Quiet is not so obvious.
You were anticipating solitude. Silence.
Moments where you just take in the goodness and beauty in a complete peaceful space.”
“Yeah that was the idea. You know. Be still and know that I am God.”
There was silence.
Then the revelation came to me.
Sometimes Quiet is also keeping your mouth and your opinions closed.
Saying nothing when you really want to say something.
Making an opinion when it is not needed or wanted.
Quiet… Be STILL… and know…
That I am God.
It was as if He was telling me:
I can take care of those moments where you want to take over the control. You have the drive inside you to make things change and move in a direction of your choice.
Be Still… means to do nothing.
Quiet… is not just a moment of silent meditation and studying of the word.
Quiet can be a form of worship.
It is in the process of saying nothing where you will learn and allow me to teach you.
The other meaning of Quiet.
It is then that you will have a teachable moment.
by Sharon O | Aug 6, 2013 | Uncategorized
I am not sure what to think about the statistics on this blog.
It is extremely confusing.
One week it will tell me 18,000 readers from Germany read it.
Really?
The next week it will say 12… I really don’t care it is just not something I worry about or care to lose sleep over. I just don’t understand how they ‘record it’ in blog land.
Then it shows I had 57 readers and now I have 28… if it is not interesting that is OK.
I am not always ready or in a space where I can write something.
A few years ago when I started this blog my heart was full of many things to share.
Perhaps the sharing is not as deep or not as often but it is a goal to write at least a few times a week.
Will try a lot harder to do that and to be more disciplined in finding topics and words that flow in a good way for the readers out there who do like this place.
Some have shared with me they appreciate it.
That is good and I am thankful for their faithfulness.
Here are a few new things I can share.
My parents are settling into their foster home and doing well for now.
All of our children and grand children are healthy and doing well.
I am becoming more clear about what I need to do with all the stuff in the den, spare room and even our master bedroom.
There are many items that need to be purged and taken away.
It is something only I can do for when we choose for ourselves and do the hard work we become empowered by our new ‘clarity of heart and mind’.
So the fall goal is to purge and clean and donate all usable items to a good cause.
I am not a hoarder but there is stuff I have have had stored and in boxes and when it is not remembered or needed it is time to move it out.
Do you have something you have been needing to do and have been putting it off?
Let us encourage and stir each other to press on and purge the things that weigh us down.
Let us roll up our sleeves and get busy.
