I went to visit my parents this weekend.
Dad is stable but definitely not well.
Mom is reviving a bit.
It is strange and sad and surreal to see your parents old and needing care.
I often wonder
what will happen to me when I am that age.
Will there be foster homes who are good and take good care of seniors.
They say the new 60 is 40 and will we get younger as we age and eventually be
out of our minds before our bodies leave?
Or out of our bodies before our minds leave?
Which is worse?
To know… your legs don’t work…
Your hands don’t work.
Your ability to feed yourself is gone or even go to the restroom alone is gone.
Which is worse?
To have your mind able and your body not so strong?
Or your body able and your mind not remembering what should be?
Growing old is hard.
It is painful.
It is a walk of quiet words and gentle reminders from those who do the caring.
It is a giving when you want to not give any more.
From the care givers…
It is anger not shared… or sometimes shared when it shouldn’t be.
It is a gentle reminder that we all need compassion and caring and
patience and kindness.
When our real feelings are to scream and say, “do you not hear me?”
It is a gentle reminder for us.
That we all will be in this place someday.
And when we get there we can only hope and only pray that someone
will care enough
to speak for us when we are not able to speak for ourselves.
That there will be someone stronger in mind and spirit than our ‘situation’ and who will not be afraid to say
this is not working.
This needs to change.
I wonder… when the time comes will someone have a voice when I don’t?
It is a reasonable question.