by Sharon O | Sep 1, 2017 | Uncategorized
[“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest for your souls.”] Matthew 11:28
[“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”] Psalm 56:8
Have you ever been in a place in your life where a deep heaviness followed you around and the sense of sorrow was real and not able to shake off no matter what you did?
Yeah me too.
In those times I have to remind myself that within the process of grief there is a learning to let go.
A few years ago my husband and I experienced a series of deaths of people of both family and friends.
We lost my parents within a year of each other, we lost our spiritual ‘parents’ within the same time frame, in the same time frame we lost an old cat and then an old dog, then our other good friends were killed in a horrible crash, then another good friend died of cancer.
A few years before that we lost my husbands parents too.
It was a lot of grief to process on many different levels.
When you think of grief and letting go it’s hard. It impacts you deeply.
You lose a part of your life story.
When I think of those who passed away sometimes memories fade.
The power of the story changes when those we cared for are gone.
In the process of saying good bye there comes a realization that in this life, we never will see that person again.
If we are believers we know we will, but we miss them in the here and now time.
In my last counseling session before I did closure on that too, he said to me, “do you realize how much loss you have had in less than four years?” It was hard to think of each passing as a loss.
Each one held different places in our hearts and each impacted us deeply, even the animals.
My parents ‘closure’ was a hard one for me as each of them had a different story and impact on my life.
I did not let go of the ‘story’ but I did let go of the pain that surrounded it.
To disregard the ‘chapters’ that affected my life would be wrong, but I don’t have to dwell on them or stay seated in that place emotionally.
The other hard closure was letting my counselor go.
He was the one person who really knew me and understood how my emotional ‘world worked’.
But in saying that I knew it was time to say goodbye.
I was in his office for many years and the tools he had taught me to find safety in my feelings worked within the context of trauma and death. I was stronger and more able to handle the crisis without him.
Did I feel sad when I drove away? oh yes. Did I want to go back into the room ‘just one more time?’
Oh yes. But the one thing he always told me, it was his job to work himself out of a job.
Learning to let go is just another way of saying, that this time in my life will always have deep meaning to me and I will never forget the moments treasured in memory about them.
Is there something in your life, or someone that you are learning to let go?
Grief and letting go is a process we all must grow through at some point in time.
The main thing I learned in therapy was, the only way out is through
by Sharon O | Aug 31, 2017 | Uncategorized
I read something the other day and it said:
“Never dismiss your gut instinct, if something deep inside you says something is not right, learn to trust that.”
Have you ever met someone or been in a situation that seemed to unsettle your peace?
Yeah it is your ‘gut’ instinct that is a true lesson to listen to.
Sometimes our heart ‘can move’ us in a selfish way but for most of us our ‘gut’ instinct is there to protect us.
I tend to have high discernment and as we have been married throughout the years my husband has learned to trust my reaction to something or someone.
It’s pretty immediate for me. “I don’t like this, or I don’t trust this.”
We bought a couch one time from someone and as we were driving down the road my husband said, “we are not keeping it right?” I could not put it in my house there was something odd or strange about the person and item.
We gave it away to someone who had a bonus room and I remained in peace.
I think we often disregard our hearts cry. We minimize it or make excuses.
It isn’t easy for me to do that as the discernment is there for a reason and if I ignore it my spirit remains unsettled and I don’t sleep well or feel in peace.
As we learn to trust our heart I think it’s very spiritual, as the bible used the word heart 956 times.
[I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.] Psalm 16:7
[Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also dwells secure.] Psalm 16:9
I think as we think on the words above and understand that we must listen to our heart’s churning; we gain peace and an internal calm that is both refreshing and freeing to our every day living.
As we learn to tune into what makes our spirit at rest we find a relaxed way of living.
When I know I am walking and living in the right way I remain ready to say these words.
[Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.] Psalm 19:14
by Sharon O | Aug 24, 2017 | Uncategorized
(This was hand written a week ago and now typed into this setting)
When I continue to think about the art of listening it moves me into the realm of how we pay attention.
Often I will say something to my husband and there will be no response, then I will say to him, “did you hear what I said?” and he will acknowledge that he wasn’t listening.
I could tell because of the lack of response.
Sometimes the noise around us is too loud for us to hear. Other times we just are not tuned into it.
I do not do well when the air noise is loud and there is too much clutter to sift out.
My personality does best in calm and peaceful environments.
How are we supposed to react when the noise is harsh like the current political climate?
For me, my choice is to turn it off.
My husband and I are at the beach and the silence is amazing.
Today I choose to listen to the waves, allow myself to feel the wind in my hair.
Refresh my spirit as I breathe in the beach air and the freshness.
I actually came down to do some writing but I think there was another master plan happening.
The camp has no electricity so I cannot plug in. My computer will not work, my cell phone is dead.
So plan b for the day is to respond with a joy and delight that change has forced me to unplug.
I will walk on the sand, and feel the softness as my feet sink into it.
I will slow my pace and breathe.
I will rejoice in this inconvenience for it forces me to be more in the present.
The beach and it’s beauty.
The waves always calm my spirit and I will return revived and refreshed.
I didn’t bring my camera so even that is not a choice for me.
I will just experience it as it is, in the present and remember it as a memory.
Sometimes a change of plan is good for us.
We can learn to be flexible and open to some new experiences.
How do you handle life when it throws you a curve?
Do you react and respond in a good and positive way?
One of the hardest things I think we all have to work on is letting go of our agendas.
Sometimes it is the laying aside our plans when we get really blessed.
by Sharon O | Aug 10, 2017 | Uncategorized
When we talk about the gift of listening.
It brings awareness to me the power of being quiet and actually taking the time to listen to someone.
To listen to their words, to watch their body language, what they are not saying, while they are sharing.
Matters of the heart are to be treated in a tender, fragile way.
How often have you felt ‘safe’ enough to share places inside your ‘spirit’?
I just spent time with my best friend and as she talked and shared I wanted to truly listen.
I wanted to remember her voice, her ways of expressing herself, the gift of ‘being herself’.
It is not something we want to take for granted or miss an opportunity for connection.
The definition of listen is to pay attention; to hear something with thoughtful attention; to be alert.
When I was in counseling the words I said were heard on many levels.
He listened to what I said, and what I was not saying.
Both are necessary and both are real when one is talking about conversation.
It is a skill. An art. To listen with out thinking of what ‘you are saying’ next.
I remember one time my little grandson was talking to his grandpa and at one point he said,
“grandpa are you Yistening” to me? (he didn’t say the L sound in the word.)
It was a valid question as we all want to be heard. To be valued. To be important enough for someone to hear us.
The real test of a relationship is how easy it is for us to hear. How much do we desire ‘the connection.’
How important it is for us to spend the time to listen to one another.
The word listen is in the bible 397 times, that is a significant amount of warnings.
[They would not listen but were stubborn, as their ancestors had been, who did not believe in the Lord their God.]
11 Kings 17:14
Hardness of heart will make us NOT want to listen.
[“See, I waited for your words, I listened for your wise sayings, while you searched out what to say.”] Job 32:11
[“If you have understanding, hear this; listen to what I say.”] Job 34:16
Do you see the pattern? I WAITED, I leaned in and paused with you while you gathered your thoughts.
[If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.
But truly God has listened; he has given heed to the words of my prayer.] Psalm 66:18,19
[For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. O that today you would listen to his voice!] Psalm 95:7
How about this example?
[She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying.] Luke 10:39
I am often reminded of the Mary story, as her heart was set on listening to every word of Jesus.
Nothing was more important to her. No job was more valued than to listen and lean in.
What a challenge for us. To truly listen with our mind, our heart and our body language.
What about these words?
26 [‘Go to this people and say, You will indeed listen, but never understand,
and you will indeed look, but never perceive.
27 For this people’s heart has grown dull, and their ears are hard of hearing, and they have shut their eyes;
so that they might not look with their eyes, and listen with their ears, and understand with their heart and turn —
and I would heal them.’] Acts 28:26-28
Good words to think on, in this noisy world that we live in. May we choose to listen and not be hardened.
May we see and not always judge, may we give attention to, what is the most important.
To learn the gift of listening.
by Sharon O | Jul 31, 2017 | Uncategorized
DEAR GRACE,
When I was asked if I would like to write a letter to the women of the church, I had to pause and reflect on what words I would say. I am a senior who has slowly learned to use my voice and I wondered if I did, what would it look like for me to speak to many ages in a room?
Over the last 40 days, I have participated in an online Facebook group that has been reading and studying a book called Whispers of Rest, by Bonnie Gray, 40 Days of God’s Love to Revitalize Your Soul. I think what I would want to share with the ladies, based on what I have read recently in this challenging book, is this:
YOU ARE THE BELOVED OF GOD.
You have a gift and you are a delight. “You will be named my delight, for the Lord delights in you.” (Isaiah 62:4)
If you are a young mom with little ones who demand and tire you, until you have no more strength left:
HE delights in you. He calls you in a unique and personal way. Being a mom of little ones is very important.
It is truly a calling; for you are raising future big people who will need to know how to manage life, faith and responsibilities.
If you are a leader in the children’s or youth department, consider yourself ‘called’ to let your light shine.
You have a light that should not be covered or hidden. You are important and needed.
Remember the little song, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine?” Let it shine and do not hide it.
Your voice will come as you stretch yourself in ways you never thought possible. Embrace your calling and giftedness and thank the God who gave it to you. Not everyone can do what YOU do.
Some of you love to encourage through making meals, writing notes, or even taking seniors to their appointments. Use your gift of encouragement in whatever way you find possible. Find something positive to say and speak out and encourage others with words of affirmation. If you can write a note and send it in the mail, do it!
You can easily find envelopes at the dollar store, along with paper and pens. Hand-written notes are always good.
Don’t feel you are not needed because of age. Embrace your age and share your matters of heart with others.
Our experiences cannot be just for us; when we tell our stories, we allow those who have not walked our road to hear and know and see how God has provided.
We just had a panel of four wonderful ladies who shared their stories and opened up their chapters for all to hear. It takes courage to do that – and not everyone’s story is beautiful.
But, everyone’s story is a testimony that we are the beloved.
To this virtual room of women, I challenge you:
USE YOUR VOICE, YOUR GIFTS AND YOUR CALLING.
EMBRACE THEM AND DON’T BE AFRAID TO MOVE OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
THERE IS BLESSING IN TAKING THE RISK
by Sharon O | Jul 22, 2017 | Uncategorized
[The Lord is with you. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love.] Zephaniah 3:17
Have you ever held a baby or small child who was crying, upset or very unsettled?
I have and have become aware of the fact that if I hold them close and whisper softly to them they would settle down and slowly I would feel the resistance leave as they lean into my shoulder and stop the fight.
I think this word picture could be the same for us and our relationship with Jesus.
“He will quiet you with his love.” I see this as a choice, HE WILL, because He wants to love deeply.
I had never thought of quiet love till Bonnie Gray challenged us in the book to think of it.
My personality gravitates more to quiet, peaceful people, I find it very disturbing to my spirit when people are loud and rude and non relational.
It probably goes back to some childhood issues; but really a quiet love is so much more relational and allows the freedom of growth and safety.
Learning to enjoy a quiet love is spiritual.
I often have no sound in our home, the quiet ministers to me and allows me space, like Bonnies first book, taught us about white space, in her book Finding spiritual whitespace.
It is freeing.
Many people are de-cluttering their homes and finding the process very healing and refreshing.
Removing things that have little meaning and that are taking up space that could be more useful.
In our retirement times I have chosen to have quiet interactions, walks without a lot of talking, driving with no sound on, just a quiet togetherness.
It is peaceful and surprisingly easy to do and as you find it to be a part of your every day.
We have so much that interrupts us, we must learn to choose a quiet love.
It is intentional and takes effort but it is so worth it when we make that choice.
by Sharon O | Jul 20, 2017 | Uncategorized
In Bonnie Gray’s book Whispers of rest, she shares with us the importance of slowing down and forcing ourselves to rest, to breathe, (which happens to be my word of the year).
Life is busy and we can get so caught up in things that must be done we forget the healing power of rest.
[Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.] Deuteronomy 33:12
The word picture I get when I read this; is a parent carrying a child.
Remember when your little ones were small and they cuddled up to you and laid their heads on your shoulder and fell asleep in safety? Yeah that is the picture that I get.
[The beloved of the Lord rests in safety— the High God surrounds him all day long— the beloved rests between his shoulders.] Deuteronomy 33:12
[and you will have confidence because there is hope; you will be protected and take your rest in safety.] Job 11:18
[I will both lie down and sleep in peace; for you alone, O Lord, make me lie down in safety.] Psalm 4:8
Allowing ourselves time to rest and restore our weary spirits is vital to our health.
[And I say, “O that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest;] Psalm 55:6
[He said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”] Exodus 33:14
[Return, O my soul, to your rest, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.] Psalm 116:7
[Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.] Matthew 11:27-29
[so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God.] Ist Corinthians 2:5
Are we getting the picture of rest?
Have you ever been so tired that your spirit aches and your fatigue is so over bearing you cannot think?
We must learn to rest. It is allowing ourselves the ability to stop and renew before pressing on.
Bonnie’s book Whispers of rest has challenged me to slow down, and listen to what my spirit needs.
Can I challenge you to do the same?
by Sharon O | Jul 14, 2017 | Uncategorized
Jesus said for us to abide in His love.
What does that mean for us?
To remain steadfast and continue in faith; to wait for and accept; to reside or continue in a condition; attitude or relationship.
To abide in his love is to hold tight to what He told us.
To stay firm in relationship with Him.
When I was a teen there was a time in my life when I had a prayer answered in a very powerful and mighty way.
It made me solid in my belief. It fortified my faith. It strengthened my knowing and desire to know more.
After that experience I knew that nothing would ever remove me from HIS love; for He heard the cry of my heart.
He answered the plea of a young teen, it was actually more of a challenge.
Show me WHO you are, then I will believe. He heard and answered.
Was it deserved by me? No.
That didn’t matter to the God who heard my prayer.
HE knew I needed something concrete and solid so I could remain in his love and accept it.
It is easier for us to accept something from someone when we know they are sincere in their intentions.
Learning to abide is a life choice. It is where we choose to reside and live.
Just as we have chosen physical homes where we find comfort and safety, we can find that in God’s love too.
[O Lord, I love the house in which you dwell, and the place where your glory abides] Psalm 26:8
[You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty] Psalm 91:1
[My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.] Isaiah 32:18
[As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.] John 15:9
Learning to abide is a life choice, a decision from our heart, and a very peaceful truth.
by Sharon O | Jul 13, 2017 | Uncategorized
[Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.] Psalm 37:4
[He brought me out into a broad place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.] Psalm 18:19
[Commit your cause to the Lord; let him deliver— let him rescue the one in whom he delights!] Psalm 22:8
It is clear to me and I hope to you that God loves us with a powerful love.
I looked up the meaning of delight for reference and this is what I found.
A high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture: to be pleased.
Isn’t it amazing that we give God delight?
He delights in you.
Have you ever watched a beautiful moment and had that ‘wonderful’ feeling?
I think we all have. We delighted in the person, or situation because it was good.
It left us with a warm wonderful feeling.
In Bonnie’s book Whispers of rest, she challenges us to accept and believe and begin to process how delightful we are in the eyes of God.
It’s not an easy assignment especially if one has had a struggle with esteem or broken images of ourselves.
Not many of us were told when we were growing up we are delightful to someone.
It is not a common word to use, yet God did.
Why did God use it? because it gives value.
When I turned fifty I purchased diamond ear rings for myself.
I still find delight in them for they meant something special to me.
Before that I was given a diamond band by my husband and it also gives me delight when I think of him processing how he was going to purchase it. How he involved our daughter in the secret to give me a perfect fit.
When I turned sixty I purchased a diamond vintage ring and band for myself to symbolize sixty years.
It still gives me a feeling of delight for it was special and meaningful.
We are special and meaningful to God. The God who loves us with a deep and intimate heart.
He says to us over and over:
[I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.] Jeremiah 31:3
Jesus said: [As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.] John 15:9
Can we begin to learn to accept how delightful we are?
It really is a heart choice. Words of affirmation are building blocks to healing.
Are we ready to accept them?
by Sharon O | Jul 12, 2017 | Uncategorized
“You are my beloved…in you I take delight.” Mark 1:11
In Bonnie’s book, whispers of rest, she gives us a challenge to believe that we are the beloved of God.
I looked up the definition of that word so I would understand what I was grasping.
There is great depth to this simple word.
It is Beloved: greatly loved, cherished and precious, dear to the heart.
You are… that is identity. Who you are. YOU are loved.
Then the rest of the verse says “I”… that means who is saying it, that would be God for it’s his word.
In you, I take delight. The father says that to us.
Did you ever feel that or experience that growing up? I didn’t.
The reference verse is this:
[At this time, Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan.
The moment he came out of the water, he saw the sky split open and God’s Spirit, looking like a dove, come down on him. Along with the Spirit, a voice: “You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life.”]
Mark 1:9-11
Read it again.
“You. Are. Chosen and marked. by my love.”
We can allow ourselves to grasp this for ourselves even though it was meant for Jesus.
Another version says:
[And a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.”]
Have you ever felt the feeling of pleasing someone in a deep meaningful way or felt like that for your children?
That is what this is saying. I take delight in you, I am pleased with you. I Love you with a deep love.
It is powerful.
I pray that as we continue to explore some of these word choices we begin to get a grip of God’s deep love for us.
