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[“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest for your souls.”] Matthew 11:28
[“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”] Psalm 56:8
Have you ever been in a place in your life where a deep heaviness followed you around and the sense of sorrow was real and not able to shake off no matter what you did?
Yeah me too.
In those times I have to remind myself that within the process of grief there is a learning to let go.
A few years ago my husband and I experienced a series of deaths of people of both family and friends.
We lost my parents within a year of each other, we lost our spiritual ‘parents’ within the same time frame, in the same time frame we lost an old cat and then an old dog, then our other good friends were killed in a horrible crash, then another good friend died of cancer.
A few years before that we lost my husbands parents too.
It was a lot of grief to process on many different levels.
When you think of grief and letting go it’s hard. It impacts you deeply.
You lose a part of your life story.
When I think of those who passed away sometimes memories fade.
The power of the story changes when those we cared for are gone.
In the process of saying good bye there comes a realization that in this life, we never will see that person again.
If we are believers we know we will, but we miss them in the here and now time.
In my last counseling session before I did closure on that too, he said to me, “do you realize how much loss you have had in less than four years?” It was hard to think of each passing as a loss.
Each one held different places in our hearts and each impacted us deeply, even the animals.
My parents ‘closure’ was a hard one for me as each of them had a different story and impact on my life.
I did not let go of the ‘story’ but I did let go of the pain that surrounded it.
To disregard the ‘chapters’ that affected my life would be wrong, but I don’t have to dwell on them or stay seated in that place emotionally.
The other hard closure was letting my counselor go.
He was the one person who really knew me and understood how my emotional ‘world worked’.
But in saying that I knew it was time to say goodbye.
I was in his office for many years and the tools he had taught me to find safety in my feelings worked within the context of trauma and death. I was stronger and more able to handle the crisis without him.
Did I feel sad when I drove away? oh yes. Did I want to go back into the room ‘just one more time?’
Oh yes. But the one thing he always told me, it was his job to work himself out of a job.
Learning to let go is just another way of saying, that this time in my life will always have deep meaning to me and I will never forget the moments treasured in memory about them.
Is there something in your life, or someone that you are learning to let go?
Grief and letting go is a process we all must grow through at some point in time.
The main thing I learned in therapy was, the only way out is through