Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in your sight,
Oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14
The unfolding of your words give light:
It gives understanding to the simple. Psalm 119:130
Pleasant words are a honey comb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
Therefore comfort one another with these words.
1 Thessalonians 4:18
Joining Deidra on Jumping tandem and the Sunday community.
Years ago when I entered into a season of therapy.
I was given at some point in time a basket of words.
They are heart shaped and etched into the pottery stone.
The basket is broken.
I don’t remember if it always was that way but for me now
it represents the fragile and broken spirit I had when entering into the season of healing.
In the recovery group we were instructed to pick a word and then write about it in our journal books.
Giving voice to our ‘thoughts’ on paper so the feelings would not stay hidden deep inside ourselves.
For many survivors feelings stay hidden and silenced and the only way out of that season of silence is to move through it.
The only way out is through.
We were told that over and over.
The only way out is through.
You must move from the dark places inside to a lighter ‘healing place’ restoring your spirit and your broken wounded self inside.
A broken leg cannot heal if one keeps walking on it, there must be a time for restoration and calm.
Then after a short time of ‘healing’ physical therapy begins so the bone can learn to to accept the pressure.
Emotional healing is very much the same concept.
Restoring the broken wounded child and moving her into a strong voice of an adult.
A few nights ago in the quiet of our room I woke up with the idea of writing the words as a blog post.
Each week one word would be written and focused on.
Exploring the meaning and the thoughts surrounding that word.
A basket of words representing new life.
Peace ~ delight ~ abundance ~ healing ~ beauty ~ rest ~ humor ~ balance ~ change ~ tenderness ~ play ~ willingness ~ courage ~ compassion ~ forgiveness ~ light ~ trust ~ power ~
A basket of words representing growth and health and empowerment.
When we are broken we don’t see the potential for healing.
We only feel the brokenness deep inside ourselves.
(or we feel nothing at all)
We are not sure what to do with that internal mess so many times those who enter into this journey go in with great resistance and fear because we don’t know or understand what it will look or feel like to put a voice to words.
Our feelings get misunderstood and jumbled and we remain closed off from them because they feel foreign and new to us.
Those who have lived in difficult places or scenes cannot begin to believe when entering a season of healing that it won’t always feel ‘this way’.
A basket of words is a good tool to start when working with someone who is closed off and resistant.
Our group leaders were brilliant and caring and compassionate and wise, they were sensitive and gentle never pushing but always encouraging us to become stronger.
A basket of words is a good beginning
when the door to one’s heart and voice is closed.
The other day my husband was going through youtube and playing some of the old songs he knew I would recognize.
That is why my writings have gone down memory lane.
Stirring thoughts and feelings along with another writing I was already processing.
Isn’t it strange how a song can bring back so much emotion and feelings?
I think maybe that is why in the Psalms David used music to minister to his spirit.
God knew the music would stir and heal our hearts on many levels.
There is one more final writing about this topic.
About words.
About feelings.
About things hidden in our hearts.
One more to finish off this series of thoughts.
The other part about being in my room was kind of a protective one.
I learned early on that feelings and reactions or responses were not often welcomed or encouraged.
We were never allowed to sass back or speak up or say our thoughts or opinions.
So we learned to stuff them.
Hide them.
Not show anyone when we were upset, scared, sad, or confused.
It was not welcomed.
Our feelings were not talked about or talked over.
It was like the sound of silence that Simon and Garfunkel sang about.
I learned that in my room I could go and write and no one would bother me.
No one would read my writing especially if it was hidden.
I knew there were feelings inside but as to how to express them or bring them out was not anything learned.
Remember life teaches us lessons. Both good ones and not so good.
As a grown up now with children and grand children.
I really try… to let them have a voice.
The goal is not ever to teach them to hide or manipulate their feelings.
Children need to feel safe and they need someone to listen.
That does not mean they can be disrespectful or hurtful.
It does mean I will listen and try to hear them.
As a child I learned to stuff my feelings down deep inside.
When I first heard this song of Simon and Garfunkel it gave
me identity.
I am a rock. I am an island.
I stood alone. I felt alone.
God has brought me very far and I am not alone any more.
Now I do cry.
I do feel. I do express thoughts and opinions.
But as a child I didn’t.
I surrounded myself by words and songs and built walls that were hard around my heart.
Simon and Garfunkel’s song resonated with me as a teen.
In sharing it I share a part of my journey.
Expanding on lessons learned.
In my original home I was the youngest and the most quiet.
Often times I would have a pad and pencil with me and I would draw pictures.
Or write stories.
Or listen to songs.
Music was my place of escape.
My room was a place of solitude even though it wasn’t my own room
it often felt like my own.
I would sit on the floor close to the speakers as the old fashioned record player with the turn table would play the 60’s and 70’s vinyl albums or 45’s.
The large stack of square record jackets showed the singers pictures.
Diana Ross and the Supremes, Janis Joplin or the original beach boys music, there was Jan and Dean, Barbara Streisand, original Michael Jackson with the Jackson five, Sonny and Cher, plus so many more.
In fact a lot of those original albums are still in a storage box.
Music was my hiding place.
My imaginary escape where I could go and pretend.
I remember holding my hair brush up as if it was a microphone and I would lip-sync the song in the mirror.
Imagining myself on stage with the lights and the sounds.
Music was a place I could go to and spend hours escaping.
I still enjoy music and as the words wash over my ‘spirit’ many times I find it healing.
To this day our room is a place of refuge.
Even when it is messy or disorganized with things not exactly put away.
It is my/our room not shared by others.
On the river it is quiet.
One can hear birds and the sound of the water splashing as the oars move in and out pushing us along towards new landscape and new experiences.
Sometimes we stop to see a bald eagle perched high into a tree or watch a hawk flying over our heads.
Sometimes we stop to watch deer walking along the waters edge or the ducks and geese swimming not far from us.
I love this time and season when we can get away and sit in the middle of nature.
It is peaceful.
It is calming deep into our spirits.
It allows us to slow down and build friendships as we are not alone on this journey.
Kind of like life.
We are never alone unless we choose to be.
We need each other for companionship, friendship and prayer.
On the river it is quiet.
And we learn many lessons inside a canoe as we head in the same direction with the same goal in mind.
Kind of like life.
Joining Still Saturday and the Sunday community.
(picture is of a canoe trip we took near Sun River, Oregon)
I read this quote the other day and it spoke to me.
Let me try to interpret what I think it is saying.
“Let us, then, labor for an inward stillness-
labor means work. so we work and center in on purpose.
an inward stillness and an upward healing,
meaning I quiet myself internally and then I reach up to receive.
that perfect silence where the lips and heart are still,
again I quiet myself and move away from noise.
and we no longer entertain our own imperfect thoughts,
I do not try to fill in the blanks or figure it out.
and vain options,
non helpful or non productive that have no purpose.
but God alone speaks to us,
we know his voice and we listen.
and we wait in singleness of heart,
a heart attitude that is not divided.
that we may know His will,
we listen and become sure
and in the silence of our spirits,
again being quiet
that we may do His will and do that only.
which speaks relationship and focus.
Let us then labor for an inward stillness – an inward stillness and an upward healing,
that perfect silence where the lips and heart are still, and we no longer entertain our own imperfect thoughts, and vain options, but God alone speaks to us, and we wait in singleness of heart, that we may know His will, and in the silence of our spirits, that we may do His will and do that only.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Reminding me of the verse:
Psalm 46:10
Be Still and Know that I am God.
The outside is quiet. Peaceful. White. Silent and still.
Internally breathing in the coolness of the air.
It is a slowing down. A calm place.
The gloves and socks keeping one warm.
Listening to the crunching of boots in the cold snow.
The wind whipping across cheeks. Shocking but refreshing.
A pace that is slow and deliberate.
Peaceful even for a few days.
It is good to enjoy the beauty around us.
We watch children playing without a care of warmth or safety.
Then we return to our warm home.
Dinner was cooked and coffee was hot and it was amazing and refreshing to go on a cold crisp winter walk.
Simplicity
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