Listen to the little ones

by Sharon O | Jun 25, 2011 | Uncategorized

I hope my last blog was not too intense.
My husband said to me after reading it,
“wow… you must have been mad.”
Well… yes I was…
and still feel angry that children so often have little choice as to what their lives will include or be involved in.
Big people make decisions and little people have to abide by them no matter if they like it or not.
As a child advocate I feel it is important to see the world through the eyes of the children.
As a grandma I get to see this many times as I watch and observe the mixed bag of feelings of the little ones. Often times I can give a different opinion because I am grandma, and a voice of experience. I am not a tired parent I am grandma with a ‘different point of view.’
When I was little and growing up I remember feeling
like ‘I had no voice.’ I really didn’t. None of us did.
We moved many times and we had no choice.
You just followed and did as you were told.
We changed schools many times and learned to adapt in order to survive.
Life is not fair for the little ones.
Perhaps that is why Jesus made such a strong opinion about them.
He was a child advocate.
He used them as an example because he knew they believed without question.
Sometimes as an adult it would be good for us to put down our adult ‘world’ and try to see the world through their eyes.
When I have a toddler around I get on the floor and try to see their worldview as a little one always looking up.
It is very different than looking down.
Try it sometime you will be amazed.
It is a perspective of smallness of lack of ability and of needing help.
I am short and often times I have to ask for help when trying to reach tall things.
Little ones are not that different.
They need our help. They need our guidance.
They need our time to listen and understand their point of view.
They don’t always ask in a way that we think is appropriate.
They just want us to be available.
I am not saying give them their way always.
That would be wrong and would not teach responsibility or obedience.
But I am saying we need to think of the children.
Next time when you are out in a public store look at ‘the faces’
listen to the dialogue around them and look in their eyes.
Learn to put yourself in their place and ask yourself how you would feel.
Take time to listen to the precious ones.

I think it is very important to play and let them know they are very important to us.
As adults we don’t do that often enough. Let the child run and express joy.
Perhaps we can learn something from them in the process.
(picture is of Faith at age 3 running freely as a child in our favorite place ~ the beach)

Upsetting show

by Sharon O | Jun 21, 2011 | Uncategorized

Following on the topic of children.
I am a child advocate and I have been very upset and angry at a show that TLC has on its station.
Maybe I have said this before but little children and especially little babies should be just that.
They have innocence no one has the right to remove.
They are precious and they should be protected.
They are not beauty queens and they should not forced to be.
They are not competitors either.
They are not puppet’s to fulfill some mother’s unfilled need to be a winner at any cost.
I have never watched the show in it’s entirety because I dislike it so much.
I have seen previews and that was enough for me to form an opinion.
I think it should be illegal. Just as it is illegal to exploit children in other instances why shouldn’t this show be illegal? They are forcing little girls, to dress up like Vegas girls and show off and dance and it just makes my stomach turn. What are these parents thinking and especially what are they trying to prove? It is incredibly sad to me that the parents have agreed to do this in return for money.
The previews have shown little ones screaming and crying because the dresses are itchy and they don’t want makeup on and they are tired and they are children who just want to play and be little.
I think the mom’s should STOP.
I think the producers should STOP.
I think the station is wrong to promote this type of show.
Who is protecting the children?
Never would I force a child to do anything against their will.
Oh I have made them realize it is bedtime when they are not minding and way too tired to make a good choice for themselves.
I don’t force them to eat… I negotiate. Let’s count… if you eat two to four bites then you can get down. Children can have a voice and they do tell us if we listen when they feel safe or not.
This show is wrong.
It is never ever ok to have these kinds of shows that devalue the life of a little child.
It is sickening to make these little precious ones prance around stage as if they are 35.
Today I just wanted to share my opinion however strong it is.
I was going to post a picture of the show but the whole concept makes my stomach turn.
I can’t do it. 
If you don’t know the show just imagine…
what toddlers and tiaras would look like.

A first for us

by Sharon O | Jun 18, 2011 | Uncategorized

This week was a first for us.
I went to our first grand daughter and our first grand child’s sixth grade graduation.
She is tiny in size in comparison to a lot of her friends.
She is very smart, and very beautiful of course I am grandma and I would say that. But she is very beautiful and I feel very honored to be her grandma.
She changed my life forever.
I remember when she was born. It will be something never forgotten it is etched in my heart as a wonderful tender memory.
She arrived 6 weeks early weighing only 2 pounds 11oz, that night a tiny miracle stole my heart. 
She was so wonderful and so perfect. I worried. I prayed. I cried.
I marveled at her beauty. I was amazed at how healthy she was.
She had iv’s for a few days in her head, she had no oxygen and took no time to learn how to drink a bottle. Normally preemies struggle with that and she caught on very quickly.
She was released to go home when she was 3 weeks old after graduating from nicu weighing 3 pounds 9 oz.
Did this grandma worry? YES and I prayed intensely for her to be strong.
I will always pray and be her advocate.

                   

It was an emergency and when she and her mommy were in a crisis God’s angels protected them and I have told her they have always had a hand on her life because she is very special and God has a very special plan for her.
A few weeks ago we celebrated her 12th birthday and I cannot believe she is going into 7th grade now. Time keeps moving forward and the children grow and grandma watches with sadness mixed with tender memories.
I hope and pray she will always know how much this grandma loves her.
She was a first for us. She made us grand parents.
The job is an honor and privilege. Thank you Faith Elizabeth.
We love you always.
(picture on blanket was at age 5months weighing 8 pds 5oz)

An advocate and a place of refuge

by Sharon O | Jun 10, 2011 | Uncategorized

Our Pastor taught on Nehemiah this last Sunday.
I have to admit it is not a book I readily rush to in the old Testament. Not sure why I love the stories of the old prophets and teachers in some ways it is more interesting than the new Testament.
My favorite part would be the Psalms.
One year when our children were younger I did an in depth study on Israel and the Minor Prophets and it was the BEST Bible study I ever experienced. I learned more in that year than I did my whole ‘life’ as a Christian.
In Nehemiah God teaches about the concept of advocate ~ anytime there is an injustice there needs to be an advocate in place to protect the one or ones ‘in crisis’. 
Advocate means: one that defends or maintains a cause or proposal of safety. Or one that supports or promotes the interest of another.
Pastor said: to be a person of refuge is about collaboration.(which basically means the act of working together on a joint project.)
Also a to be a person of refuge is to be in close proximity. (One has to be close to walk alongside someone else. It can’t be done through distance or miles.)
Pastor also said: to be a person of refuge is about filling in the gaps and helping one to rebuild what was perhaps broken or unsafe.
Pastor also said: to be a person of refuge is to be a person of courage when perhaps the one ‘being helped’ is not that strong.
Pastor also said: to be a person of refuge for another is about a lifestyle of open hands and open hearts.
To be an advocate for someone is to put your own opinions on the sidelines and to think solely of the one you are advocating for.
It is a place of strength and purpose and I suppose a place of power and control in some sense.
I have a sister who I have to do all business and social services calls for. I have to pay her bills and keep her in line with appointments and assessments. I can say I am her advocate. I am her voice and I help her to stay safe and in a controlled environment.
My husband is becoming his dad’s advocate. Speaking for him when he sometimes cannot.
Who in your life are you advocating for?
A child ~ A grand child ~ A coworker ~ Someone elderly ~
Someone at your church or volunteer position?
Are you opening your hand and heart to help one another?
It is a challenge for us all to look beyond our ‘self’ and see and experience those who ‘need’ someone to come alongside them.
Following up from the last writing Jesus was an advocate for women.
He gave value and voice to them and walked alongside them
as they learned they had purpose.
I think it is a challenge for us all.
Are you a place of refuge and advocate to anyone today?
If you are not…I challenge you to ask yourself why.
Perhaps there is someone who needs you to be their advocate and place of refuge.
Just a little ‘something to think about.’