by Sharon O | Jun 17, 2015 | Uncategorized
Today is the one year anniversary of my mother’s passing.
It seems very strange to not have parents.
It is not that I was very close to either one of them, but they were still ‘my parents’.
The last time I left my dad’s hospital room it felt to me, like I would never see him again this side of heaven.
I was in peace with that thought.
I didn’t say good bye as he was resting, but I do know he knew I was there and I also know he cared for me in the best way he knew how.
A few days later I got the call that he was gone and his spirit moved to a more simpler and wonderful place.
The same thing happened with my mom, the last day I saw her.
I left knowing she was on the way to another place that would bring healing to her.
As I looked around the room and allowed the visual of her tiny frame of body, wrapped up in a blanket of love, I knew she would be gone soon.
In the early morning hour when the phone rang, it was the call telling me she had passed away.
My grandparents have been gone a long time now, but even that is a great loss.
To have generations missing and gone is sad.
I have often thought about those days of our childhood when our mom was raising three little girls alone.
Our dad left when we were little and when he did it was hard for us.
I have very little good memories of growing up, as it was a crazy and sometimes confusing time of life.
The constant things were a clean house, rules and hidden emotions.
The non constant were hugs and emotional talking.
Not one time do I remember being asked, “how are you?”
Not one time do I remember being told,
“you are valuable in this family.”
She didn’t know how to do that.
I am not bashing her or blaming her.
I am just saying she didn’t know how to give what she didn’t ever learn herself, and you can’t give what you don’t know.
As my maturity has come and through therapy, I have learned the ways we are raised and taught, becomes critical in our thinking and processing as adults.
In our home of origin life was not easy.
When our dad left we were all struggling with big emotional holes and no one was there to fill them.
It was like we all knew things were different but we were not allowed to talk about it.
What an unfair thing to do to a child.
The emotional damage of non verbal expression is hard to explain.
I am positive we never processed our dad’s leaving.
I am also positive we were instructed to ‘let it go’ and be good.
Today is the one year anniversary of my mother’s passing.
Our parents are gone now. It is a quiet and strange feeling to be an adult orphan
Mothers day and Fathers day are just Hallmark card moments for others to share in.
I no longer stand long at the card aisle wondering what to pick out and send.
Our parents are gone now.
by Sharon O | Jun 13, 2015 | Uncategorized
The word for the day is world.
At first I couldn’t think of what I would write about, then I had two thoughts come forward.
The song, “He’s got the whole world, in his hands…”
Then I thought of the blog world.
When I first started to write I was pretty clueless how it all worked together me writing and others reading or me reading others writing.
One day I started a search and ended up visiting a few ‘blog sights’.
Then I read more and then I added a few comments and soon the blog authors and I were friends.
Even though we had never met, we were knitted together by a blog world of people.
Yes safe, wonderful caring people.
I know it sounds strange to be a friend to someone you have never met in person.
Again it pulls itself back to the authentic real me.
I had to ask the question, could I really be a friend to someone I might not ever meet?
Some are living in spaces I will most likely never travel to.
But God can make us friends and we are drawn together by other friends who know each other in mutual friendships.
It is a circle of wonderful people who fit together with a common goal, he’s got the whole world in his hands because he is almighty.
We can have authentic real relationships, because we are on common ground with each other.
Some may ask, ‘is it risky or dangerous’ to be friends with someone you never met?
I say, no, because I trust in the process and do believe if we ever met we would be best of friends.
He has the whole world in his hands, that means everyone.
In my little den which is a very small world, I open the screen to miles of friendships.
Two are in England, One is in New Zealand, many are all around the United States.
The word for the day is world.
I opened my life and took a risk to open up to the world.
In doing that, I found abundance of wise and wonderful people.
by Sharon O | Jun 9, 2015 | Uncategorized
To go along with our ‘authentic grace’ topic.
I just read this wonderful blog by someone whom I respect, admire and hope to meet some day.
It ministered to my heart, soul and spirit and left me with a few tears.
If we all could be real and honest and authentic.
We can go so much further and so deeper in relationships.
It starts with taking a risk.
http://jenniferdukeslee.com/tellhisstory-the-first-step-to-authentic-friendship/
I pray you take a risk today. click onto the link above.
by Sharon O | Jun 8, 2015 | Uncategorized
Our church is starting a new idea for women.
It is challenging us to think about as women, how do we present ourselves to others.
The thought around this ‘concept is this’, when we visit with others do we hide our ‘real selves’ and present to them our ‘best selves’, or are we able to be real with them right from the start.
We hide for many reasons.
We feel shame because of what was done to us in our early years?
We feel inadequate or not worthy?
We feel less than authentic and loved because of what was told to us as we were growing up.
The challenge sounds wonderful and hard, for to be real is actually to be very transparent
and for some of us that means our ‘hurt and pain’ must be shared.
It is easy for us to give grace to some but very difficult to give to ourselves.
To be authentic is very important when it comes to relationships.
Dictionary.com says authentic means nothing false or copied, as in original, genuine or real, it says it is trustworthy and reliable.
Then I looked up grace to see what the dictionary would say about that, it said it is elegance, pleasing or attractive, beauty or favor, mercy or pardon.
It said it is also an allowance of time between when something is due, as in a thirty day grace period.
That time is not counted until it is late, I understand this concept because of bill paying experience.
Authentic grace.
Most of those who know me would tell you I am authentic.
My feelings are real and to the point, as much as possible without hurting someone.
If you are a friend of mine and you have done me no wrong, I will be faithful to you to the end of our friendship or lives which ever comes first for us.
There are some people who have been in my life since we were in junior high, we are close friends because we care for each other in a mutual way, we pray for and hope for the best for each other.
There is no agenda of ‘me or I’ it is about us, as friends in a very special friendship.
I value that greatly.
We all need at least one or two people who we can call our genuine authentic friend.
There is a risk to being real. There is also strength in being honest.
Sometimes being real and honest can also be hurtful.
That is where discernment comes into the story.
Relationships that are filled with authentic grace are the most ‘healthy’ kind.
In my home growing up the lessons we learned were not relational.
In fact it was not even safe to share what was really going on inside your heart.
The best thing to do was be quiet and follow the rules.
For me now, as I am sixty and finally at a mature ‘space’.
Authentic grace means I can be real with you and you with me
and if we don’t agree, we can learn to give grace to each other and agree to disagree.
It is kind of like that allowance of time we call a grace period.
Where nothing is required of you, other than to be yourself.
Relationships are like that in many ways.
They must be authentic and real and trustworthy and reliable.
Very much like the love we receive from our Lord when he tells us,
“I have loved you with an ever lasting love.”
Authentic and real, full of life giving hope.
Authentic grace… I pray it is something you have found.
by Sharon O | Jun 5, 2015 | Uncategorized
The rule is to write for five minutes and don’t over think or over do your writing.
Have fun, think fast, and then publish.
The word for the day is ‘Gift’.
We often think of gift as something we open as in a present during a special event.
But what I want to write about is another type of gift.
The gift of our time.
The gift of friendship and of people who we have learned to care for.
I have a friend who is very special to me.
She recently moved away and the only time we can spend now is on the phone without a four hour drive to visit in person.
When she calls me I know it’s going to be a long ‘two hour’ chat.
We talk about life and lessons we have learned, and our hopes and dreams for our grand children or our grown children.
We share prayer requests and we share matters of the heart with each other.
That is a gift.
We open our lives to each other and she knows me and I know her and we are happy in the friendship.
Gift giving doesn’t have to be hard, it just has to be genuine.
Authentic and real, without a catch and without a agenda.
When we give something to someone we give with a hope that it would make them happy.
God gave us a gift wrapped up in his Son.
For God so loved the world that he gave a gift for a life time.
Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift. 2 Corinthians 9:15
The bible shares the word gift 158 times.
It might be good for us to some day look them all up and then realize what a gift he has given to us.
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” John 4:10
