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A place of healing

by | Apr 13, 2011 | Uncategorized

Following the last blog:
What if those who have offended us won’t move towards us into a place of healing.
Then what do we do?
On Sunday our pastor said, “Offense means in the biblical text: skandal (that was the spelling he had on the screen) ~ to stumble or to snare as in a trap.” (showing us the example of a large mouse trap)
Dictionary.com said offense is: a violation, a transgression, the feeling of resentful displeasure, the act of attacking, to trespass against.
He said, “When an offense is allowed to grow and entangle itself around something it strangles the life out of relationships.”
The offender begins to poison any attempt at ‘reconciliation’ or healing from anyone especially the one offended. They wall themselves off  as the offense is stirred and churned over and over until the words harbor expectations that cannot ever be met.
The offender will demand peace without wanting to realize they must do something in order for the peace to take place.
The offender brushes off all responsibility to the offended one and demand that they calm the storm or calm the chaos between them. People who are offenders are critical and have great difficulty thinking in a different way. Critical people are offended by other peoples happiness; they struggle with it because they cannot seem to be that way themselves. Critical people are unapproachable. They recoil when asked to ‘accept responsibility.’ They get angry and defensive when asked to deal with the hurt they caused. Most often they push the closest people near them away and demand space from them. Offenders who are critical feed off of unresolved hatred or unresolved issues. They delight in seeing the other person suffer almost as if  it is a pay back towards them. They generally do anything they can to not apologize as they justify the ‘fault is not theirs to deal with.’
Pastor said ‘what kind of person do you want to be and what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?’
What will happen in the midst of a place of healing between the those who are involved matters more than what has happened between them.
Jesus did not ever minimize the hurting people he maximized the healing they could receive.
In a place of healing the hurt is dealt with in an honest real way so that healing and restoration can begin to take place.
The legacy you choose to leave behind is directly related to the openness of heart you express towards another.
Is your heart open to maximize the healing today and be kind to someone who hurt you?
Would you be able to walk away and let it go if they chose to never be responsible?
It is something to think about as we continue to explore this topic of hurt.

Move in Us God

by | Apr 11, 2011 | Uncategorized

Our pastor continued his teaching on the ‘hurt’ topic today.
It was powerful as it always is, leaving one with much to process and think about when heading home.
Last week he said: our hurts are the darkness of our hearts where we feel overwhelmed, and full of grief.
In order to heal we need to re-define what happened in the midst of the hurt. What happened in the midst of the pain or the trauma or the deep grief. We have to understand what took place in order to move forward out of the darkness.
We need to realize the greater purpose for the hurt and pain so we can put it in a proper context for healing.
Such as someday we can walk alongside someone who has experienced the same kind of hurt and pain we have. We can be an important teacher and guide for them as they walk through and experience the darkness of their heart in the same way we did ours. The wounded-ness of soul. The broken heart ache. The intense pain and sorrow. We all have experienced it at some point in time.
In order for healing to take place we need to learn to say, “I am not a victim, I am an over comer.”
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He then moved into the second part of the teaching today and talked to us about dealing with our offenses.
In the way we were offended often times we see life through the lens of the grudge or the anger or the deep resentment surrounding the offense. Our filter is like a pair of sunglasses and every thing we look at or experience is based on the distorted view of the lens we are looking through.
Life is not seen clearly.
It is distorted…blurred and…cloudy.
We learn to not handle our hurts ~ we allow them to handle us.
He wanted us to realize hurt people offend easily.
Have you ever met someone who is hyper sensitive and it becomes very clear that no matter what you say or do it becomes distorted or viewed way different then what you had intended?
Hurt people can’t do relationships in a healthy way.
They perceive life as an offense put upon them so that every relationship is sabotaged. Offended people learn to hurt others and learn to do it well. Offended people push others away and rarely allow anyone close to them.
Pastor said, “We must move away from our offenses and learn to let them go.”
The more we hold onto our offense our hearts becomes hardened and walled off from authentic feelings.
The longer we stay the offended hurt wounded person the longer we push… healing… away.
The goal must be to heal the offenses ~ acknowledge the pain ~ let it go and then let healing begin.
Lord God move in us so that we are not the ‘offended one’. So that we are not the ‘hyper sensitive judgemental person.’ So that we are not the hurt wounded person stuck in that position.
Move in the places of our heart and show us
those who have offended against us and then help us to move forward to a place of healing towards them.

Lifes challenges

by | Apr 6, 2011 | Uncategorized

I can’t believe I am so behind in the blog writing.
My goal has always been to write three times a week but lately it just hasn’t happened.
A season of dry ideas or thoughts?
Last week another bug that had me down for a few days. It was so nice to just rest and rest more and do nothing. Even surprised myself by going to bed and really resting without tv or music in the background.
It was very restful.
Life seems to be throwing curve balls as each day begins or maybe each month.
Someone said: “Adversity re-defines ones character.”
If that is true then our characters have really been re-defined this year.
In three months my husband had rotater cuff surgery on his shoulder, then he reacted badly to something they gave him in the hospital and he had a severe rash that was more like a second degree burn leaving his skin peeling all over his back, arms, face shoulders this situation involved two visits to the emergency room then recently he has a surgery for skin cancer. In the process of all this he is still doing physical therapy for his shoulder surgery.
It is only April and so much has taken place.
Do I need to explain why we both feel tired?
God will keep protecting us. Life will go on.
But I do pray for a small break in the crisis department. 
Thank you for your patience as I slowly move back into the writing it has been a bit challenging lately.
How has your life been?

Trust His Heart

by | Apr 1, 2011 | Uncategorized


This is a beautiful song I thought I would share. I am down with a bug and not able to write today. Perhaps tomorrow I could come up with a writing. Enjoy these words by Babbie Mason.