Four Feet Eleven

by Sharon O | Sep 19, 2012 | Uncategorized

Continuing with with writing a letter to your teenage self:

As you grew confident in the church ‘youth singing group’ you would sing this song during most every concert.
They thought because you were 4 feet 10 and weighed under 90 pounds you fit the song very well.
The audiences loved your energy and your ability to entertain them.
You toured with the group about two years singing at assorted churches, youth events and even prisons.
You didn’t mind doing solo’s and even did a few duets.
You found purpose and a reason to get up in the morning when you found your voice.
You became engaged to be married during your senior year and you soon found out the wedding plans were not really your own. 
You relinquished the task to your mother and grandmother.
Your grandmother handmade your dress and you planned on keeping it for years as it was a keepsake.
At age 18 you were planning a high school graduation and also a wedding.
The colors would be fall colors, yes, you would have avocado green, fall oranges and yellows with a touch of white in your wedding.
The guys would wear yellow tuxedos and the girls would have dresses using the fall colors .
The flowers were fall mums and some roses mixed with greens.
You created your wedding announcement, thank you notes and rolled up scroll to hand out to the guests in your graphic arts class your senior year. 
You not only received all of them without cost you also received dual and triple A’s on your report card.
You were responsible for paying for your wedding so you had to make good inexpensive choices.
A family friend took your pictures and your ‘new’ mother in law made the cake.
At age 18 you stood between girlhood and womanhood.
Somewhere in the middle your childhood left.
You would find yourself soon walking down an aisle to a new and different life and another move.
As Karen and Richard Carpenter would sing, “we have only just begun”.
You would leave your old life to begin a new one 
only this time it would be a choice of the heart instead of a choice made by others.

“Bridge over Troubled Water” Simon & Garfunkel

by Sharon O | Sep 18, 2012 | Uncategorized

Continuing on with writing to your teenage self:

As your teen years continued you moved from your first year of high school into your second.
Somewhere in this time frame your mother was remarried and you knew you were mostly in the way.
With someone new in the home you also learned to lock doors.
You learned to be hypervigilent to not go home alone if someone else was there.
You learned to be cautious with all relationships.
You dated some but none seemed a good match for you and of course how would you know at such an early age. 
You began to go to church and you found God in a solid miraculous way.
You sang in the church singing group and you took first and state in speech competitions in the serious interpretation and poetry category. 
You also remember there was no one in the audience to watch you 
receive your reward telling you that you did a great job.
Church became your main ‘out of the home’ experience aside from school.
Church also was what you got grounded from.
There was a prayer room above the upstairs in the church and you would sit there for hours sometimes after school just waiting alone in the quiet.
One of your good friends had cystic fibrosis and you knew she prayed for you always.
Her faith was strong and you didn’t fully understand it.
You had some very serious ups and downs in this time frame of life.
There was also a motorcycle accident which injured your knee in a serious way.
You listened to Janis Joplin and related to her type of escapism through music. 
Music was very important to you.
It helped you manage what you felt inside.
Even if the feelings were very numb a song sometimes would give them life.
Somewhere in your sophomore year you met the man you would eventually marry.
But neither one of you knew that at the time.
You continued in your art and your speech classes and still didn’t academically improve.
Those who knew you said you were funny, serious, and easy to know.
You were faithful to those who were faithful to you. 
You were still always very concerned about your sister.

I Am a Rock – Simon & Garfunkel Lyrics

by Sharon O | Sep 18, 2012 | Uncategorized

Continuing on the topic of writing to your teenage self.
I have been going back in time…
like a time warp of some kind whirling back and back and further back as if I am in ‘the twilight zone’.
I sort of see her … now what would I say to her?
Looking at her… eyes and standing beside her.
At age 14 you have been through many things.
Most of them difficult and yet you navigated through them.
You have moved many times.
You have gone to many different schools.
You learned to not attach because if you did you might not be there in six months.
Your junior high years were chaotic.
You learned to pull in and tightly wrap an imaginary ‘bubble’ around you. 
Personal space was important to you.
Time alone was your place of refuge.
There were two different high schools in your freshman year.
This time it was different the last school was the one you finally stayed in till you graduated.
Your sophomore year you were searching and struggling and this is the kind of song you would surround yourself immersed into the music sitting on the floor in your bedroom leaning against the bed. 
Your place of refuge.
Your safety zone with the door shut.
Yes you would be alone a lot.
You felt safest alone.
With one sister married and the other a runaway on the streets you were left to pick up the pieces of responsibility.
The mother required that of you.
You always did what was expected of you and rarely did you say anything about it.
There really wasn’t any choice.
Your best friend was Joyce and she came to stay with you a lot when the adults were gone.
Your other best friend was Cindy. She knew you in junior high.
You could be good friends with those who cared and you knew who didn’t.
You excelled in art as you drew pictures of black and white trees.
You loved Choir and hated PE.
You were not much of a student academically and you kept the ‘world’ away from you. 
You were quiet, responsible, funny and very serious.
You were a rock not ready to be opened.
   

Blue Skies from Joel

by Sharon O | Sep 17, 2012 | Uncategorized

This morning, I went for a run. Unlike usual, it felt great!
The crisp autumn air combined with the warmth of the sun on my face brought unescapable joy -even though life has me traveling through dark valleys. I find that it is so easy to get down when that is the direction I keep looking. But the key to climbing out of the dumps is looking in the direction you want to climb – up.
When I got home, I went to the backyard and crawled in my hammock perched underneath a vibrant red Japanese maple – and all I could see were blue skies. In Portland, I know the clouds are certainly coming. But learn a lesson from the trees – they never stop reaching for the light. We need to remember that just beyond the comparably thin layer of clouds, there are infinite blue skies. And like the trees, we need to keep reaching…even on the cloudy days.
So today, I encourage you to stop, look up, and take a deep breath.
There are blue skies.
And remember the lesson of the trees and never stop reaching