 |
| God’s light |
God’s light…
and wonderful beauty is all around us.
 |
| If we choose |
If we choose…
to see and observe and pay attention.
Remember…
We are SO blessed.
Joining Deidra on jumping tandem with the Sunday community.
(photo one by Margo of Yamhill, Or)
(photo two by Rosi of Dundee, Or)
My new word of the year has brought a challenge to me already.
Not expecting it.
I settled into the word ‘Quiet‘… believing it would teach me a great lesson.
Then my computer went down.
I said in a calm voice to myself, “This is not what I expected”.
It is not hard for me to turn the television off or the radio and sit in our home in silence.
It is peaceful to not have noise.
The challenge was adjusting to no computer which in turn meant no writing which in turn meant no interaction with others or online communication.
It was hard.
Did I say it was hard? yes …
I did what I could to remain patient and listen to the message of waiting and being still and finding new things to do with my time.
Exercise was a first start. I began to do that slowly.
Cleaning was another start.
The den was a disaster and in order for a computer repairman to come into our ‘home’ the room had to be straightened up and put into order.
I wondered as I was cleaning if I do that with the Lord.
“I will spend time when my heart is right then you can see me in my ‘best’.”
As if he doesn’t already sees the condition of our brokenness?
The word of the year has brought me a first test.
Quiet can mean many things.
As the year continues I will remain in a quiet mode and continue
to be still and know that HE is God.
The lesson is to listen… within the stillness for the message
then allow the message to teach us what our heart needs.
I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
Sisters ~
Visiting parents who are aging and needing help.
We support each other.
Our tears represent words unspoken between us saying,
“I understand. It is sad”
Our journey is not over.
It is actually in the middle phase of decision making and choices.
Mother is 81 and dad is almost 86.
Both in ill health.
One remembers. One does not.
Neither one of them very strong.
Our journey is not over till we say good bye to them.
Sisters ~ supporting each other in ways only sisters can.
Till the time comes for us to walk another road ‘as sisters’
as a new journey will begin for us.
Joining Diedra on jumping tandem with the Sunday community.
A question that has been brewing for a season now.
In my mind and in my heart.
Many of us who are in the sandwich generation between grand children and senior parents are torn between the care of both.
Senior parents add a dimension of life we are not yet familiar with.
We struggle with what was years ago and what is right now.
Memories dim and parents don’t often remember the child they once loved and cared for.
Memories dim and parents don’t often see or are not aware of the depth of care the child is giving to them now in their aged years.
For some of us it is hard to see the parent who was once strong and able become frail and unable.
What do we do in these situations and how are we supposed to feel?
Sometimes it would seem right to feel ‘resentment’ or ‘guilt’ depending on which side the care taking we are sitting on.
Why is it when we are almost retired and anxiously waiting to do something fun for ourselves finally. We become strapped into a care giving role again.
That is they way life is I guess.
When we are young parents we care for our children and we give up our ‘fun days’ for the sake of their needs.
When we are mid parent ages with teenagers we can leave and often do but not without worry or concern and strings attached to rules given and strictly enforced.
When we are mid aged caregivers we reach beyond our days and care for the senior parents who no longer can care for themselves.
Even if they live in assisted living homes they still need monitored and watched and observed and listened to and helped throughout a long day.
The path between ability and disability is shortened often by a diagnosis of cancer or dementia or age related diseases.
For a season now I have often wondered how it feels to be the child caring for a parent when the roles reverse themselves.
I watch my sister feed our mother and noticed how comical yet so sad it was as age and it’s issues bring change for both of them.
I watch my husband and his dad who is 90 and the way the son makes sure the fathers coat is buttoned or the hat is on correctly to warm a balding head.
It is all about caring and giving and role reversals and change.
The parent with little children is not free to do what they want anytime they want and the child with aging parents isn’t all that different either.
A free day does not mean the phone won’t ring and a fall doesn’t happen or a new need arises.
Time is not always kind to us and one day the reality of their passing will be here.
That day will come with mixed emotions when it ends for all of us.
Freedom doesn’t happen without a cost.
We give of ourselves.
We go out of our way and we give up some things because it is the right thing to do.
Never knowing when the role will end.
Never knowing when the phone call will happen to say it is over for them and for us.
Then it seems not too long after that as the years move forward the role reversal will begin again and we will become the senior parent and our children will become the caretakers giving up their time so that we can be comfortable and loved.
When the roles reverse themselves the only thing we can do is remember life is fragile and soon all we will have is memories.
Simplicity
my blog button
