by Sharon O | Sep 24, 2011 | Uncategorized
The other day as I was reading a blog
there was a line of words that stood out for me.
“Love that isn’t afraid to speak truth,
love that loves me enough to risk the necessary words.”
Someone who loves me enough
to risk the necessary words
someone who cares enough
to love and confront and walk alongside.
To risk means:
exposure to the chance of injury (in this case ’emotional’) or loss;
to venture upon;
to take the chance; another way to think about it:
lay on the line, put on the line,
a person considered with respect; vulnerability
At some point in our lives each of us will have to risk something
in order to keep our most intimate relationships healthy.
It might be a family member or it might be a good friend
but we may have to take a risk
in order for that relationship to go to a deeper level.
To risk is hard.
It often brings out the uncomfortable moments in a relationship.
It is very similar to saying,
“I love you enough to not let you stay this way.”
When I was in counseling my counselor would often say to me,
“I know this is hard for you to hear
but I am telling you because I care.”
It is in our ‘caring’ where risk plays a role.
Truth telling is always risky.
It seems to me that if we care deeply and love honestly
the truth will be a door that can open the opportunity
for the words that need to be spoken
and prayerfully the heart and ears
that need to listen
will hear.
by Sharon O | Sep 21, 2011 | Uncategorized
I read this on someone’s face book page and
I decided it was such a good comment that it was going into my blog as a starting point for a post. Throughout the years when growing up attachments were very important to me.
Perhaps because of the way we were raised as children
or perhaps it was just my personality.
In our address book there are names that we have known for years.
My famous tease is:
“Once you have met me I am hard to get rid of.”
Some of our friends even go back to elementary school years.
These friends have been treasures to me.
They have been great encouragement and great prayer partners.
Sometimes in church my mind will move into a direction of,
“oh I want to meet someone new and build a good friendship”
then the reality comes to me.
If time allowed it the friends who have walked with us
through good and bad are only a phone call away.
If you think of it even Jesus only had twelve
who he chose to share his ‘life’s most intimate journey with.
Why do we expect ourselves to have more than that?
The friends who have been with us through those hard places in our lives or the good times and perhaps even the funny times they are the ones we hold dear to our hearts.
We have made memories with them.
Age has slowed me down and as that has happened the desire of my heart has been to have real friends.
Authentic friendships that demand nothing other than to be real.
There is no time for acquaintances who need maintained like a car in a body shop.
We all have met those kind of people
they are high maintenance they pull the life out of you any time they can.
When I have a need to share with someone and that someone is my husband
plus a good friend it is way more beneficial
to share with someone who values me and who listens and who
really sincerely cares about life as I experience it.
That is what it means to be real.
Real friendships stay real and whole and true
no matter how much time goes between visits.
Years can go by and one lunch visit makes it feel like nothing ever changed.
When one of my ‘good friends from junior high’ became very ill,
I prayed and prayed for her.
My tears were so deep and heavy wanting her to survive and live.
She is healthy now and doing very well but it surprised me how deeply I cared for her.
Real friends are gifts we can give ourselves.
Have you given yourself any lately?
by Sharon O | Sep 16, 2011 | Uncategorized
As I have matured and grown older the ability and desire
to ‘please others’ has moved away from me.
Pleasing others is not necessarily the best goal
for others may want or expect things that are not good or positive for us.
We need discernment and wisdom to make good choices.
Pleasing others is different than caring for others
the way I see it
pleasing others is for them
caring for others is for ‘us’ together.
I am not sure what a ‘free self’ is as stated in the above note
but what I am sure of
if we please others and lose ourselves in the process
then we have become the losers in the end.
Learning to be true to oneself is the best gift we can give
to
our hearts
our spirits
and our loved ones.
We do not live our lives alone.
We can love others and give to them with a deep compassion and faith
but within that process
we also need to realize that our freedom comes
when we can say no
this isn’t good for me or to say
I need rest today.
When life gets so busy and we give and give and give
and not listen to our hearts need
then it becomes time for rest
and reclaiming oneself.
Even Jesus pulled away from the crowds and
took time for himself to rest and find strength.
When the crowds pushed at him and demanded of him
he knew his need for quiet and restoration through prayer.
I pray this weeks writings have challenged and given us
something to think about.
Life is about choices.
May we all learn to make good and positive ones
so that we can love and live in a more free and healthy way.
Perhaps then we can claim our identity as a free self.
by Sharon O | Sep 15, 2011 | Uncategorized
I wish sometimes I could have met Mother Theresa.
Not to worship her or anything like that but
to thank her for her gentleness
and to thank her for her kindness
and to thank her for her caring spirit.
How does one who lived in poverty and a life of giving and giving
always have such wisdom for us to live by
that is applicable even today in our ‘world’ so different from hers.
How many times have we grumbled at our children
or our spouses
and then ended up in a public setting as friendly as ever and always approachable to anyone who needed us.
This is definitely something to be challenged by
and even to think about.
by Sharon O | Sep 13, 2011 | Uncategorized
I have never met Mother Theresa and never studied her life either
but she always had words of wisdom to share within the midst of her poverty and life giving mantra.
If we could only grasp just a few of these small bits of encouragement.
I think we would learn new ways to be and do and share and live with others.
Just a little …
Something to think about today
by Sharon O | Sep 13, 2011 | Uncategorized
Our trip to the beach was wonderful.
The children were so good and grandma and grandpa just relaxed and let the parents do the care taking.
We are hoping to make this a new tradition.
The beach is always so inviting.
I love it and could actually live nearby if possible.
Two days it was so foggy one could stand on the sand and hear the ocean but not see it.
It was a strange experience to be fogged in so thick that day.
The next day it was warm with exceptionally nice weather around 70 degrees then the day after that it was cool 65 with a brisk wind and one needed a sweater to be comfortable.
The beach weather changes by the day and sometimes even by the hour.
There were two weddings.
We were able to see one bride and groom on the beach taking pictures and enjoying the best day out.
I could not imagine getting married at the crosses where I so love.
Their ‘place for committment’ was high above the cliffs and high above the surf where the crosses stand against the open sky and ocean.
How fun… but oh I kept thinking of that beautiful white wedding dress dragging in the sand as they walked and posed for pictures.
We had a great time with family and next year it will be even better.
A tradition for us all we hope.
Beach time with kids and families.
by Sharon O | Sep 8, 2011 | Uncategorized
This weekend we are going away for three days with the grand children.
I can’t wait.
It should be fun and perhaps the beginning of a new tradition.
Not only will we have Thanksgiving and Christmas to create memories with them maybe we can have a few days in the summer to always look back on.
I want our grand children to remember us as fun and youthful and refreshing to be around.
Yes we do make them mind but when the parents are around it is their job to discipline it is our job to create fun and not get in the way of the parents who are trying to do their job.
The beach is always a fun place for kids.
They can play and dig and run and skip and just enjoy being outside.
It is a place to relax and kick back away from life’s struggles and worries.
It is refreshing to hear the waves roaring and feel the wind blowing.
The forecast is supposed to be about 70 degrees.
We are getting away and I am ready for some sand and some moments spent together as a family.
Do you have special memories with your grandparents?
Were they fun and something you wish you could go back and do them again?
I pray that today you can remember some of those times and even maybe do some writing or talking about them with someone close to you.
A time away from life’s chores and duties and responsibilities is good for all of us.
This weekend we are taking the time to get away to have fun relax and make new memories.
(the top picture is of Faith when she was very small about age three with grandpa. The others were Faith this summer and her sisters having fun. Our son and his son Samuel when he was about age two and the crosses are on the top of a hill overlooking the beach where we go…it is my favorite place)
by Sharon O | Aug 31, 2011 | Uncategorized
Have you ever had a life altering experience?
Something that took place at one point in your lifetime
that forever changed you and forever changed the direction you were perhaps going?
Altered means: to change or make different
: to adjust
Life changes will happen but sometimes those life changes
change us immediately and there is no choice.
The day you graduate from high school is the day you become more of an adult.
The day you graduate from college is the day your dreams begin.
The wedding day creates for you a life altering experience
you no longer think of yourself only
you learn to think of another.
The day your new baby is born
forever you become a ‘parent’.
Another life altering experience.
Mary’s life was altered the moment the angel told her
“you will be with child and you will be the mother of the Son of God.”
It was an especially difficult altering experience for her
to be with child and not be married would mean she could have been stoned.
All of us have life altering experiences that happen to us.
The key for us is the process we apply when dealing with the new ‘experience.’
It is all about our attitude.
Mary accepted what the angel said with a willing heart and an open spirit.
It is all about our ability to cope.
Mary went to her cousin Elizabeths house for enouragement.
It is within the midst of our life change where we must make a choice.
I watched a special on September 11th last night and it brought to mind all the ‘life altering’ situations of everyone who were involved in that tragedy. Not one person got up that morning including the President of the United States and thought about the twin towers crashing down or planes attacking or thousands dying.
It wasn’t something anyone could even think about but for those who were there it was a definate life altering experience.
President Bush was telling the stories of how he felt during the horrible tragedy and he said,
“One day this will be looked upon and remembered just as the Pearl Harbor attack and other unfortunate moments in our history. But for us for the ones who were there and who saw the horrific evil and devastation we will be changed forever.“
How many of those survivors came away with a new appreciation for life?
They had no choice but to move forward from the life altering experience.
Loved ones were lost forever.
Goodbyes were never said.
The lesson for me in all this is to remember
when not if a life changing event takes place
the question to ask myself is this:
will this experience make me a better or a bitter person?
Am I going to allow this to harden my heart or soften it?
What moment in time changed you forever?
Do you remember how you responded to it?
Just a question for all of us to think about.
by Sharon O | Aug 29, 2011 | Uncategorized
by Sharon O | Aug 25, 2011 | Uncategorized
One night as I was getting ready for bed I kept getting a series of words forming in my head.
When this happens it is best for me to sit down and be quiet and listen.
With pen and paper I wrote it down and wondered what needs to be done with these words.
That night I posted it on facebook as a bit of encouragement and hope.
This is what it said:
We do not wake up without the will of God giving us breath.
We do not go to bed without the touch of God to give us strength to lay down.
We rest in Him.
We move in Him.
We serve others ~ Because of Him.
(I added today)
It would not happen on our own.
He is life and He determines when life ends.
What we do with the life He gives us
Is a direct result of our relationship to Him.
Some will stay secluded in their own lives
others will reach out and give till it is no longer possible to give.
I have pondered this thought for days now.
He gives us breath and He has the power to remove it.
Just like that.
He doesn’t have to explain himself to us for HE is God.
That does not mean we live in fear but it is for us to recognize that
we are not in control of our own destiny.
To ponder means:
to think about, contemplate, consider, review, reflect on, mull over, meditate on, muse on, deliberate about, dwell on, puzzle over and turn over in ones mind.
So in the process of and context of pondering the words I received,
it would mean that I have spent time on them.
Allowing them to roll over and over like laundry in a warm dryer
tumbling and twisting till I finally GET IT.
Often times He pursues me till I do get it.
God is the one who holds the power.
He created life with a word.
He created breath with a word.
He can take it away… with His word too.
He doesn’t have to explain himself to us.
Although if we know the word He often does explain himself.
We just have to be receptive to receive it.
The thing we need to do in all of this is to realize that we are not in control.
We never have been and we never will be.
Kind of a hard fact for those of us who like to be ‘in control.’
If we can grasp… I mean firmly grasp that God is in control and wants the very best for us
then the process was worth it.
Do you get it yet?
