by Sharon O | Jun 20, 2020 | Uncategorized
Today is Fathers day, a day to remember our dads and what they mean to us.
It’s always been hard for me since most of my life my dad was not around.
This day, was an empty day on the calendar.
I would walk past the card section of the store and see the assorted cards with warm and fuzzy sayings.
Seemed odd for me since I could not relate to most of them.
Later in my life my dad did become part of ‘our’ life but I still didn’t spend a lot of time with him.
His absence impacted me more than his ‘presence’ and even as he was older in age; it was a different kind of relationship.
I will always miss what I never had or experienced, but I do believe in his own way he loved me.
I always loved him from a distance.
My husband had an amazing dad, who was known as pop or grandpa or grandpa O.
He was there for his six kids and even till the day he died; he was sharing with them and very active in their lives.
We had an adopted grandpa that our kids had, he wasn’t a relative but he was grandpa and he was very present in their lives.
My husband is a very active and present dad to our two grown children and our six grand children.
He is grandpa, he is a prayer warrior over them, he is advisor, he is advocate. He is dad.
Then our son has grown into a wonderful amazing dad to his three sons.
The baton of fatherhood passed down, the responsibility and honor given to him as the generations continue.
Today is Fathers day, a day to remember our dads and what they mean to us.
I will always know in my heart not only did I have a physical earthly dad; I also have a heavenly dad.
My God is a good Father, and His love is forever no matter what I do.
Happy Fathers day to all the dads who so deserve the words.
by Sharon O | Jun 18, 2020 | Uncategorized
It’s hard to imagine the year is half over. Soon it will be July 1st, and heading into the fall season.
We might have a few more days of warmer weather but the rules have changed and the enjoyment is a little stifled.
I don’t like to wear a mask and I really don’t like to go out in public much anymore.
It’s is an angry world right now and I just like our peaceful cozy spot.
Away from chaos and people and worry and oh my, the rules change every day.
I can’t imagine going on a vacation and sight seeing with a mask on.
It is not my option to go to church either with a mask on.
The doctor told my husband it is safe to go out but be aware that a second wave of this pandemic is supposed to arrive.
This is really a weird year for sure.
I miss family, and friends and fellowship with others.
I try not to watch the news since it’s so angry and so full of violence.
It is good to know what is going on but I can’t take the intense anger.
Oh and I am in deep prayer for our police and fire workers.
It is a war and they are not safe anymore.
I cannot imagine doing their job and having to deal with the intense issues surrounding them.
Don’t forget it’s election year too so all that politic stuff is blended into the news too.
I think what is really needed is a fresh reboot of the year.
It’s been hard.
It’s been really heartbreaking on many levels and it’s hard to imagine the year is half over.
They announced there will be no crowds on the fourth of July.
No parades, no rodeos, no fairs, nothing to do but think about this pandemic issue.
I am so ready for a change.
Lord can we just start over and begin again?
by Sharon O | Jun 7, 2020 | Uncategorized
On this day last year I lost my sister. (June 8th 2019) 
She had been ill for a while and had struggled for a long time with breathing and other health issues.
It’s probably good she never got near this covid crisis, she never would have survived it.
She was older than me by about a year and a half, the middle sister with one above her and me below her.
It has been hard to not be able to talk to her.
I used to call pretty often or she would call me.
I can still hear her voice saying, “Hi Shary, how are you?”
For years we were very close and for years as she was growing up she was gone and on the streets.
Survival was her way of coping.
She was not like the average she was herself in a very unique way.
In 2006 my other sister and I and our husbands, detoxed her from an intense alcohol addiction.
That was extremely hard and we were definitely not trained to do it.
We managed with the help from hospice and her great doctors advise.
It was quite miraculous to see her assigned to hospice care dying; then six weeks later be well enough to move into a care setting.
I would never put us through that again it was a rough and intense time.
Perhaps that is what it means to be family? You do the hard because it’s what you do.
She lived in an assisted living care center for many years; which was a safe and good place for her.
The last six months of her life we were not able to see her.
That was really hard for me since we were sisters; but I always prayed for her and always knew she knew I cared.
There was no service and no special ‘remembering.’
She passed away as if she never lived here.
On this day last year I lost my sister and it will always be hard for me to never tell her good bye.
(This is not a recent picture but it does look like her.)
by Sharon O | Jun 2, 2020 | Uncategorized
The greatest of these is love.
This year just keeps getting more crazy.
Intense times are brewing and it feels so out of control.
If I was not a firm believer in the healing working of God I could be pretty discouraged.
So many things are going wrong and we are heading in a wrong direction as a country; but I do believe in the months to come; peace and healing will take place.
This virus is still ravaging our land, and now violence on many levels.
My heart is heavy and my words are few.
There really are no adequate words at this time.
It is like in 1st Corinthians 13 a book in the new testament.
We are watching love disappear:
13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
by Sharon O | May 26, 2020 | Uncategorized
In December 2019 I went to my normal mammogram that usually lasts about 15 minutes.
Mine lasted what seemed to be an hour; then I was lead to the ultrasound room, for another half hour; then my husband and I talked to the radiologist.
He suggested a biopsy.
The biopsy results came back with a positive breast cancer diagnosis.
Looking back on this experience I was walking into an unknown place emotionally and physically.
In that time I came down with a very horrible virus bug that was a cough and breathing and chest issues.
I think the times in the hospital I picked up something.
In urgent care they gave me an inhaler and told me to wait till my surgery was over.
After the lumpectomy I was no longer sick but only using my inhaler sometimes.
In 85 days I had mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy, MRI of both, lumpectomy surgery, and then radiation.
The lumpectomy came back clear and it seems the biopsy removed the cancer.
Sixteen sessions of radiation was just a preventative measure.
It was a very interesting and surreal experience. 
I now have a surgeon, an oncologist, a radiology doctor, my regular doctor and a few others to add to the list.
In 85 days my world changed.
After that the awful covid virus arrived, so I was quarantined because it was safer and because I wanted to be.
Radiation lowers your immune system and I definitely do not want to get a serious illness on top of what I am dealing with.
One of the side effects of radiation is fatigue and I do think I am experiencing that.
It’s hard for me to actually rest. My word for the year is rest. Isn’t that funny?
I will have a mammogram and or ultrasound every six months for at least 5 years.
I started a ‘drug therapy’ they recommended for survivors of breast cancer.
It is still hard for me to actually say, “I am a cancer survivor.”
It is kind of emotional and I wear pink with a new appreciation for the color and meaning now.
My husband got a ribbon tattoo representing his mom and me.
He said he would never get another one but he had to get that one.
This diagnosis is something that is in my chart now, my life and my story.
Looking back on the experience would I change anything?
I don’t think so.
I really liked the radiation team and would spend more time with them as ‘people’ not med techs.
I have tried to not say, “why me” because why not? I am not anyone more special than anyone else.
This experience has taught me more empathy, compassion and joy.
I rang the bell when radiation was over. 
Every day is a gift now. Every day we get a new chance to make a new change of direction and give hope.
