A new dance to learn

by Sharon O | Apr 12, 2010 | Uncategorized

Our family is going through a really difficult time these days.
The process of watching a loved one die is a heavy weight on ones heart.
Mom wanted some Chinese food the other evening for dinner.
A brother in law said,”We can go get it and bring it to you”, her reply, “No I want to go to the restaurant.” So with great effort she got herself up and moved with her walker and went out to the car then to the restaurant.
How does one say no when Hope is still present in the heart of the one who is ill.
She wanted to go out. She wanted to be normal and sit in a restaurant chair without oxygen and eat her food just as she did many months ago. Only this time she ate a small amount of food and drank her tea and just enjoyed a little bit of normal life into her heart. Dad was cute as I heard him say, “Well ma we have lots of leftovers for us to eat later”. She agreed with him. I really thought it a sweet moment. The two of them sitting side by side sharing a meal together just like the old times.
The process of death is a heart wrenching one.
I called it the dance of death when my sister was dying. For one never knows the moves that are necessary for adapting and change as the progression of illness moves forward. It tugs at ones heart and occasionally grief rises to the surface and tears fall. Deep grief is layered between things to do and things to take care of and must wait till later.
For now tasks take away the full impact of a loved one leaving.
The moments of talking heart to heart are precious and worth taking notes recorded in journals to keep for a later time.
When a death is pending one can say goodbyes unlike a sudden death when the survivors are unprepared for the news. A pending death is month by month …week by week… hour by hour … eventually… minute by minute.
The process of care taking is exhausting at times yet in these unknown days ahead it is also a gift. The measure of giving and giving more and worrying and praying and trying not to worry. It is all apart of the dance. Steps altered and rearranged by a body deteriorating and movements jilted by life’s ending journey.
Only one who has gone through the process can relate to the soul that is trying to say goodbye in many ways throughout the day.

We have hope in God and know the result of a loved one passing who loves the Lord is peaceful. For our home is not here if we love Jesus.
Our home is found in another beautiful resting place.
The impact is still extremely difficult. Prayers are continually needed for those waiting and watching and wondering what is it going to be like for the loved one to be gone.
For now… we join in the times of sharing and we count our blessings that it is has been a gentle experience.
Our family is still intact with ma and pa sitting together not knowing how their love story will end.
There is a new dance to learn as we process the final journey home.

He doesn’t give up

by Sharon O | Apr 8, 2010 | Uncategorized

Luke 22:32-62
“Simon, Simon, Satan asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.” Peter said, “Lord, I am ready to go to prison with you, even to die with you.” But Jesus said, “Peter, let me tell you something. Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.”

Then Jesus moves on into more instructions and teachings to the crowds.
I wondered what Simon felt like after he was told that.
Did he just stand there shocked after hearing that?
Did he question Jesus?
Did get mad… what was his reaction?
It doesn’t look like his thoughts are recorded.
We can only guess.
What would I think?

If Jesus said to me… You think you are faithful and you love me
with everything inside you…but I know your heart
and I know you will fail a powerful test very soon.
What would I feel? What would I say to him?

Then to hear Jesus say “I have pleaded for your faith to be strong.”It’s a concept that cannot be fully grasped. Jesus pleading for Simon’s faith and our faith so we can be strong enough to withstand the attacks of the enemy.
Intercessory prayer for us from Jesus to the Father.

Satan wanted to take them down and Jesus said he pleaded… that is more than just prayer… it is an earnest prayer an intense powerful presentation of hope.
It also seems to be a prophecy of what was to come for Simon after the denial.

As we read further into the chapter it gives us the full report of how he did indeed deny Jesus.
vs 61. At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter.
vs 62. And Peter left the courtyard weeping bitterly.

He realized that Jesus knew or heard or saw the denial.
Can you even imagine looking across the courtyard after saying, “NO I don’t know him” and then there is Jesus. Looking at you.
Simon was caught.
In the moment of denial when the pressure was on him. He rejected the one whom he passionately said he loved.
Your heart would hurt just as his did.

Simon wept bitterly because of a grief deep within him.
Lord, how could I do what I said I would not do?
I am sorry Lord. Forgive me… I don’t know my own heart.
I can’t believe I did what you said.

This was the repentance Jesus spoke of in the beginning.
Repenting and turning back to him so that Simon could be strength for the brothers later on.

When I read this it shows me how unstable we all are in our walk with God.
We may say…Lord I would die for you. But in reality would we?
One would hope so. But if the one who walked with him, talked with him, shared with him, ate with him, had a real friendship with him, could deny him not once but three times.
How can we be so confident in our own hearts?

I pray this to be a lesson for each of us.
That although we can fail the Lord miserably just as Simon did. He gives us a second chance. Later on he is given a powerful new name Peter and Jesus reinstates him into a position of leadership.

John 21:15-20
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him,”Follow me!”

I pray that this brings encouragement.
Jesus does not give up on us even when we commit the most evil sin.
For Simon to deny him and then for Jesus to return to him and say… “Please take care of those left behind. I am entrusting you with a responsibility. Take care of the ones whom I love.”
It shows me, Love, Acceptance and forgiveness.
How thankful are we as people to serve a God who doesn’t give up on us.

Life’s moments

by Sharon O | Apr 8, 2010 | Uncategorized

Sometimes life’s moments come in and interrupts our day.

We get out the calendar and focus on our ‘to do’ lists for the week.
Planning menus and shopping trips, work days and play days, what we need to prepare to get it all done.

Then a child will get sick. Or we get sick. Or the dog gets sick.
Or the car won’t start.
Or …. you fill in the blank.
We all have had those times of frustrations and disrupting moments.

Interruptions can rearrange our agenda and goals.
My question for us is how flexible are we?

If I have a plan … and another need ‘is more pressing’.
Do I grasp it with enthusiasm and an earnest desire to do what needs to be done?
Or do I grumble and complain and gripe
and have a bad attitude?
I have to admit I am sure I have done both.

Jesus was interrupted.
Throughout the New Testament he always had others rearrange his day. People with needs would come to him for healing and for teaching.
He accepted the interruptions as a time for ministry.
He healed others when it was not convenient or acceptable in the laws of the people.
He performed miracles when others could not provide.
It was all for a purpose.
When he took the fish and bread and made so much that there were buckets of left overs. He was glorifying the Father.
Everything He did… gave glory to the Father.

So for us… how does that move into our lives?
Can we examine our hearts and ask how well we receive interruptions.
It is not about me. It is about who I serve.
It is not about my selfish need to get MY things done first.
It is about my friend who is hurting and needs time to talk.
It is not about my selfish need to have quiet time alone.
It is about the child who wants to come see grandma and have quality time together.

I pray this writing challenges us all to be more ready for interruptions.
For it might be ‘that’ phone call…that is life giving to a soul,
or that smile, or that note in the mail, or that email.
It is taking time for others.
It is taking time for God.
It is Praying without ceasing for the endless needs around us.
Lord may we be people who are willing to be rearranged for your purpose
so that we might be able to serve others with a cheerful heart.

Why are you crying?

by Sharon O | Apr 5, 2010 | Uncategorized

Luke 20:11
Mary was standing outside the tomb crying, as she wept, she stooped to look in. She saw two white-robed angels, one sitting at the head and the other at the foot of the place where the body of Jesus had been lying. “Dear woman, why are you crying?” The angels asked her.
“Because they have taken away my Lord.” she replied. “And I don’t know where they have put him.” She turned to leave and saw someone standing there. It was Jesus but she didn’t recognize him. “Dear woman, why are you crying?” Jesus asked her. “Who are you looking for?”
She thought he was the gardener,”Sir,” she said,”If you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go get him.”

“MARY!” JESUS SAID.
She turned to him and cried out. “Rabboni!” (which is Hebrew for “Teacher”.)

“Don’t cling to me,” Jesus said. “For I haven’t yet ascended to the Father. But go find my brothers and tell them. I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.”
—————————–
WOW… can you even imagine?
Jesus. Saying your name.
He knew her, but she only recognized him after he said her name.
It is relationship.
It is a deep knowing.
Mary… I know you…and you know me.

She was grieving. She experienced his death. A terrible death on the cross.
Her tears wet, dripping down her face from a heart that was broken.
She was hopeless when she looked inside. For he was gone.

Then she saw them.
The two angels who spoke her language and she understood them.
Then she saw Jesus.
What a moment.
What a wonderful experience.
What a glorious reunion.

Go tell… my brothers so they will know too. Jesus said.
I am going to my Father.
He didn’t leave me or forsake me.
I am going to My God and Your God.

Easter is here.