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Sharing some feelings

by | Jan 14, 2012 | Uncategorized

I did it.
I opened my blog to more than ‘who’ I choose.
It is against my grain and personality.
Fear grips me and I feel exposed like ‘someone’ peeking into my life and not asking my permission first.
Most blogs are written so they can be read by anyone.
I am by nature a very private person
but I have been told by more than one or two
that my blog would minister to and help others but
in order for that to happen
the suggestion was for me to open it up.
They can’t be blessed if they never have an opportunity to read it.
In this process it makes me feel vulnerable and watched.
Kind of like someone reading my diary or journal when they didn’t ask first.
I know it IS MORE about ME
than anyone else.
I feel exposed
maybe I will feel ok with the concept in time maybe not.
My husband said to me, “If you wrote a book and sold it
you would never know who purchased and read it
so why are you worried about your blog”
I don’t think I am worried
just feeling vulnerable.
from dictionary.com
vulnerable/vulnerability 
1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
2. open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery. 
3. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend: a vulnerable bridge.
Perhaps it all boils down to actually opening oneself up for others to see
just who you really are.
It is for me “something to think about”

Word of the Year

by | Jan 10, 2012 | Uncategorized

INTENTIONAL
To Be intentional in all things.

To cultivate and move deeper into an attitude of gratitude.

This year I want to become more intentional about many things in life.
Intentional means to choose on purpose.
Making a concerted effort to be intentional about something and knowing the reason why. 
Having a strong sense of purpose toward a goal.
I want to be more intentional about our family, and those we love.
Life is short.
If we lose the opportunity to say ‘we love them’ or ‘we appreciate them’ or ‘we are praying for them’ it is a tragic loss.
I want to be more intentional about our friends.
Spending more time with them and cultivating the deep friendships we have making them better and stronger.
I want to be more intentional about sending notes or cards in the mail.
Everyone wants to be remembered.
Everyone wants to know they matter and they are being prayed for.
Encouragement is a gift we can give to others.
It cost very little and it is easy.
A quickly written ~ “I’m thinking of you” note.  
A quickly written ~ “I’m praying for you” note.
We have lost the art of handwriting these days.
Everything is on the computer or texts on a phone very seldom do we talk to each other.
Voice inflection tells everything.
Be purposeful to call someone and just chat for a while.
It is good to make personal contact when it happens everyone is blessed.
This year I am purposing in my heart to be more intentional in all the details of my life.
Beginning with relationships.

I wonder more and more, if the first thing should be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but you truly love them.
– Henri J.M. Nouwen –

Let us not forget

by | Jan 9, 2012 | Uncategorized

Moving into my word for the year this picture is a symbol for me.
We cannot do life alone.
We cannot isolate ourselves.
We cannot think we are an island not needing anyones help or encouragement.
Because we have twin grand daughters this picture is meaningful for me.
I saw them as tiny little individuals laying next to each other needing each other for lifes’ hope
life’s richness and life’s heartbeat.
God created us to need others.
Let us not forget that.
Is there someone you need to call today
or write a note to or go visit?

Word of the year

by | Jan 5, 2012 | Uncategorized

There is a challenge within the blog community to pick one word at the start of every year.
That word would become the message truth or symbol of the months to follow.
Two years ago the word chosen was grief.
My husband’s mother was dying of cancer and we had many roads to travel within that diagnosis.
Deep sadness followed both of us throughout the months of days and nights and within that process the Lord taught us what it would feel like to let someone go.
Tears are not wrong or bad (against all that I was ever taught as a child) they can be messengers to teach us more about ourselves.
Through the process of grief we learned that we had no control over mom’s disease and her illness was harder on my husband than myself for he would take her to doctor appointments or sit with her as she dealt with her limitations.
I remained the observer.
It was intensely hard to watch and write about the process but I knew it was necessary.
The grief word fulfilled itself that year even after mom passed away. 
We said our good byes but the heart doesn’t heal that fast
deep grief takes time.
We will miss her always.
Then last year after spending time in prayer and listening
I was given rest as our word.
Again it fulfilled itself starting with my husbands shoulder surgery, two trips to the ER, cancer removal, shingles, infections, mumps, allergic bronchitis (didn’t need antibiotics) and finally a liver biopsy.
All these required rest and being patient. 
The process to seek a word is serious for it usually does come true.
So through prayer I am centering in on several words for this new year.

Each one of them have deep meaning for me.
I am not ready to reveal mine but if you had a chance what would your word for the year be?

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