What about this thing called love

by Sharon O | Jul 26, 2012 | Uncategorized

I don’t want to keep bringing up a terrible topic as the ‘mass’ shooting in Colorado but something has been bothering me and I wanted to share it with my readers.
The other day our grand daughters were over and we were outside talking and the little ones who are eight year old twins went into the house with grandpa.
The oldest who is thirteen was sitting out there in the quiet with me.
We talked about the ‘shooting’ I don’t remember if she brought it up or I did.
Usually I don’t bring up things that are disturbing to children that is just my nature.
They should be children not worrying about life or death issues.
She is old enough to hear the news and see media somewhere so it was important for me to give her an opinion and I wanted to see if she was afraid.
She did say it scared her to go to a movie theater again.
We talked briefly about the ‘guy’ and how very disturbed mentally he was and how the media was portraying him.
My grand daughter Faith Elizabeth said to me, “but don’t you have to forgive him?”
I was silent.
My first reaction was ‘NO’ 
I don’t and neither does anyone else.
Then she said, “What would God do?”
Now that was a deep question for a thirteen year old to ask.  
Again I sat there in silence because I truly had no words to give her.
There are rules that God has set out for us.
The ten commandments have in them ‘thou shalt not kill’.
Does God forgive this type of thing?
My first reaction… is perhaps my own wish or prayer.
No.
In saying that I am moved to a decision then 
that begins another topic.
Is there anything according to God unforgivable?
What about my hardness of heart towards an offender who kills, injures or abuses?
Is that unforgivable?
Driving home tonight I heard on the radio a version of 1 Corinthians 13 from the message.
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 
If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. 
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. 
So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Question: how are we supposed to act towards this type of violence?
She challenged me to think 
which is why this is called ‘something to think about’.
My goal always was and has been to leave the reader with a need to think.
What ARE we supposed to do or say when it comes to these types of issues?
My grand daughter wanted an answer and 
I honestly could not give her one.

On our knees

by Sharon O | Jul 23, 2012 | Uncategorized

We watch the shows of hostages and know that it is just a show and
the good guy wins and the bad guy doesn’t.
We want justice.
We want to know at the end of the show it will be safe and happy for everyone.
This last week we all heard and saw and realized
what should have been safe…wasn’t.
A crazy man entered a movie theater and  horrible things happened.
I cannot imagine
the horror and
the fear and
the sorrow
as the evening progressed into a series of rounds over and over by a crazy man.
At first I was sick when I  heard the news.
My stomach stayed in a knot and almost nauseated for several days.
Deep sadness followed me mixed with tears.
My husband had to turn the TV off I was so moved by the terrible truth of what I heard.
I watched and felt the intensity of the moments.
Then I moved into anger that little children
were in the theater when they should have been home sleeping in safe beds surrounded by dolls and teddy bears and warm comforters.
I was angered that our society will stand in long lines and pay large prices
for something that is violent.
In the name of entertainment.
Do little children really need to be at a midnight theater who shows a larger than life violent movie?
In the name of entertainment.
I was saddened that innocent people
randomly chose to go to a move that night and died because of that decision.
Movies are pretend.
This was not pretend.
Our lives remain changed just as they did when we heard about the 9/11 violence.
Any crowd can be the next bad one.
Any man or woman could be the wrong one.
We cannot live in fear.
We can live with values and choices.
We can refuse to pay for a violent movie.
We can refuse to go to a midnight showing.
We can voice a no violence tolerance and close out all wickedness.
IF we don’t pay the movie makers
they have no audience.
We want justice for the wrong that was done.
We want the good guy to win and the bad guy to be put away forever.
We really need to return to our knees a little longer these days
for the families who were broken by the choice
of one very sick man who didn’t care for anyone but himself.

Searching and waiting

by Sharon O | Jul 17, 2012 | Uncategorized

I was talking and sharing with my husband the other day about my blog.
This blog that was birthed through prayer and through a deep searching of my heart.
At the time I began this in Two thousand and ten
there was a deep grief that settled around my world.
Actually between my husbands mother being ill with cancer and relationships changing in our circle of friends.
Both my husband and I walked in a fog for months.
Grief followed me wherever I went.
I am not sure I could count how many times church became a place for tears.
Like a shadow reflecting off my bent spirit
I couldn’t get the grief to move away.
In the Two thousand and ten blog book some of the deepest writings took place.
God was making me move deeper into a place of searching and thinking and it was hard but also very good.
I remember every time I wanted to write the struggle between truth and confusion took place.
I would sit at the table with my bible open with my notebook and pen and paper and write prayers out.
What shall I do with this blog today
was my prayer before it began.
Each time God gave me words.
Each time He showed me the topic and the places to look and to research.
Each day I carved out specific time to listen and to lean into the one who was teaching me.

I miss that these days. 
I don’t miss the grief but I do miss the deep 
time searching journey every blog post took me on.
It is almost like familiarity has done a not so good thing.
Now I write and share pictures.
I do assorted posts then I publish.
There is very little agonizing over each word or concept.
Is it wrong or a bad sign when writers get too comfortable with their writing journey?
I am searching this week.
I am also waiting to hear for a new direction.
Not to change this blog that would not take place
it is too much a part of who I am.
It is a very important part of my identity right now.
This waiting room is a place for me to listen and to hear
what the spirit wants me to share.
If you are a friend of mine can you pray with me for a deep direction for this blog journey.
More than anything my desire is to be a place of ministry and also a place of hope.