The question has often come into my mind…
why do I write and why is it so important for me?
As a young person I always had a paper and pen with me.
For note taking or for doodling and even drawing if I felt a ‘picture was forming’.
It is who I am.
If someone were to say something about me after I am gone someday I hope they would say: She had faith in God, She loved her family, and she wrote many things to think about.
Is it a need to be remembered in a specific way?
Is it a way to put feelings not shared into a form for sharing?
These are questions I have no answers for but what I do know;
I need to write.
As a child raised in a ‘home’ who never really talked to each other in a deep and meaningful way. I think I learned to write within the safe net of my journal book as a way of releasing what was stored in my mind.
No one would read it.
I could not get into trouble from my written word or my pictures drawn.
I learned to put them away into locked boxes
where I was the only one who knew
where the key was kept.
It was safety.
It was a way for me to pull out feelings…
especially once I entered into counseling.
I have journals full of memories stored written between lines of blue.
They all tell a story of who I was… who I have been…
who I am becoming.
Revealing within me as the handwork of God healed my heart.
Now instead of paper and pen I type on a keyboard with black and white keys.
I miss sometimes the paper and pen and black and white images of sketches formed.
But I also like the comfort of sitting in this den and creating a ‘written’ message and imagery.
As I have said before it is a type of legacy for those around me.
There are no rules on this blog other than to be truthful, inspiring and encouraging.
When something is on my heart to write I can’t discount it or dismiss it.
For the goal of this blog is not for an audience of many but for the purpose of giving glory to God. For it was HIM who brought me into this place and it will be HIM who will remove me when the time comes.
To be transparent and open and vulnerable has been a very hard lesson for me to learn in this process. It is not a comfortable place for me. It is learning daily how to be
authentic and real.
For if we cannot be real with ourselves and with others
we lose what really matters in relationships.
It is more difficult to be open and transparent and vulnerable when those thoughts go against everything I was taught growing up.
I was taught to hide and not ask ‘real’ questions.
I was always the quiet one in the background humming to the tune only I could hear. It was safety for me. Stay in your own space in your own room and you will be out of any ones way.
In this new process of writing I have learned to bare my soul.
God whispered to me in quiet words one day saying… “If you write others will be blessed. If you write I will bless you and pour into you the words for the right day the right moment and the right season. If you listen with all your heart.”
If this focus is ever lost the blog site will be ended.
This blog is a journal for God.
This blog is about the ONE who saved me and keeps me growing through the process of Faith.
He created me for a purpose. If that purpose is to share a gift HE gave then it is something that must be done.
The words on this blog might not be perfect or grammatically correct but they are from my heart.
As my fingers tap across the key board like a dancer stepping across and onto the stage.
My hope is that the reader can be challenged into a ‘quiet place’ for reflection.
I pray that each reader will experience the love of God all throughout this writing blog.
I also pray that when they move away and close their computer they will find themselves in a deeper and better place and closer to HIM because of this blog.
For that is the reason it is called…
something to think about.
