There was silence

I don’t think we should be too hard on Peter.
He was just as we would be. So excited to do ministry and so sure we would not fail.
Yeah. how long did that last?
Have you ever lost someone you loved?
Do you remember the next day? the following 24-48 hours after you realize, they are gone?
There is an intense emptiness as thick air follows your every move.
You feel hallow and alone as you relive the last few hours.
You wish it was a bad dream and you would snap out of the fog and it would all be fine.
You begin to realize, you won’t ever see them sit in that favorite chair again, or enjoy a cup of tea with them or watch them as they talk to you as they had done so many times.
You struggle to remember their voice, the way they walk, the way they say ‘good morning’ or good night.
How was their face, their hair, the inflection of their voice?
You ask yourself, will I remember as time passes?
After Jesus death on the cross the disciples had no idea where he went, some of them ran and hid for fear of their own lives.
I would imagine a few watched the whole thing, we aren’t really told.
Some could have been watching from a distance, crying as they witnessed him being brutally tortured and beaten.  
Where was Peter? Was he off in the distance watching with deeply rooted guilt?
And Judas?
Matthew 27:3-5 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 
“I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” 
“What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”
So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. 
Then he went away and hanged himself.
How sad. His own guilt so heavy laden across his heart.
He didn’t receive forgiveness. He didn’t receive kindness.
And as we are thinking about all of these people who walked with Jesus, I often wonder about Mary.
Her heart was broken as she watched, her son, carrying his cross.
I have seen movies where she was weeping and crying.
I can’t begin to imagine her sorrow.
Her love was deep, and anointed and chosen and broken.
These are just some thoughts on this day that heaven was quiet.
There was silence and a deep sense of sorrow.
The day after Jesus died.