The self talk that almost stopped me in the beginning was the negative process of words.
I didn’t have enough belief in myself to think that I could actually write something, that would have impact on someone who was reading.
Growing up in a home that was not encouraging it was really hard for me to pull up, “you got this” even after all those years.
Not only was it hard to write the words; the scariest part was to even imagine someone reading them.
My counselor was paid to read and reflect with me.
That is so much different than someone ‘reading’ because they want to.
One of the scariest things I have ever done was to open the blog to the general public or audience of who I didn’t even know.
My mind was full of ‘what if’s .
What if it wasn’t good enough, what if I embarrassed myself, what if I failed miserably, what if someone chooses to steal my words?
So much that could discourage a young writer and I had to make the decision to not listen, to the what if fears, for it could smother all creativity and was that the purpose?
No the purpose was to share from my heart and to follow the leading of what God had began.
Philipians 1:6
[being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.]
I had to trust in this process and continue on just as anyone who wants to be better.
If you want to learn how to hike, you buy good shoes, good socks, you create a path and you move forward.
Every step is a direct result of wanting new results and new hopes for yourself.
We don’t challenge ourselves when we stop. We challenge ourselves when we move past the fears.
Occasionally I would receive a good word from someone and even though it was hard to receive, it was a building block of belief for me.
In order to do what God had pressed within me through the power of suggestion, I had to write on a regular schedule and I had to not worry.
The journey continues and hopefully will continue as time allows. The story is not finished till the words are all shared. (path photo from Laurie H in west linn) .