MY BLOG WRITING FOR OUR CHURCH:
When we choose to take the next adventure, it can come with unexpected terrain.
Sharon Osterhoudt writes for the blog again with a deep and personal account of how she navigated an adventure where the Lord became her surgeon – the One to work over her and remove her “tangled and twisted old wounds”.
You all just need to stop by the blog and finish the story. It will leave you reaching for the hope only Jesus can give.
In the 1980’s this song came out and it has always been a part of my journey.
“You are my hiding place, you always heal my heart with songs of deliverance whenever I am afraid, I will trust in you,let the weak say I am strong in the strength of the Lord.” (psalm 37:2)
when I was asked to write about my life with the Lord as an adventure.
I was not sure what to say. so I prayed and ‘you are my hiding place’ came to me.
My husband and I often like to take a drive with no idea where we might end up.
It’s a bit unsettling for me as I like to know the end result, he likes the adventure of not knowing.
In my early thirties and forties, I went through a very rough stage with health issues.
The doctors were unsure of why I was very ill, they thought it might be lupus, as I had a positive reading for a connective tissue disease. They said it could be an auto immune disorder or chronic fatigue, they just didn’t know.
At that time we had our two children and also I did full time day care.
When I look back now it amazes me how much was going on.
The adventure/journey began when Jesus alongside the Holy Spirit showed up in a dream, a very intense one.
He told me I would go through an emotional ‘surgery’ guided by the Spirit and I would be healed when it was over.
It scared me. You know those kind of dreams that seem very real?
In this ‘vision’ I saw (The Lord) working over me slowly removing tangled and twisted old wounds;
and as He did the surgery, He would sing over me.
[The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.] Zephaniah 3:17
It was a tear filled heart searching intensifying series of songs.
As I began to slowly heal; the Spirit showed me I had to not only deal with the physical issues but my emotional issues too.
Depression and pain, followed me like a crutch on each side walking with me as I took each step.
When memories of childhood flooded my daily walk often times I would sing, “you are my hiding place, you always fill my heart with songs of deliverance.” It was gentle and healing to my heart.
I needed the assurance that throughout the years of working with a skilled therapist and with the guiding of the Holy Spirit; I would remain protected and safe.
Any time trauma comes to the surface it is stored not only in memory but also within cells.
So my body was remembering what my mind tried to hide but couldn’t forget.
As the uncovering took place God continued to work with me and strengthen me, taking away old ‘lies and replacing them’ with words of truth and affirmation.
Memories flooded me, and truth exposed the ugliness and as we walked through the hard places it was very much like a back packing adventure.
The journey would be rough, I would say, “I can’t do this” and the Spirit would encourage me, and whisper;
‘YES you can, I am guiding you.’
During this time I was lead to read a little book called, “Hinds feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard.
It touched me in such a deep and profound way I knew it was meant for me.
It took years to heal both physically and emotionally.
It took trust to form for myself towards my counselor, and for me to understand the ‘little girl’ who had a hurt heart, and it was up to me, the adult to change/heal her story.
The journey took a long time but it was worth each and every step along the way.
I also learned and came to understand, it was never ‘the little girls fault’.
The journey of healing was from the inside out and I was healed on every level.
The connective tissue disease not only went into remission but was not visible through any test.
I know without a shadow of doubt, God healed me.
It has been a journey filled with hope, healing, truth telling and powerful love.