Before we arrived at the care home where mom lives
we had shared about our ‘need’ to have a small service for dad.
Mostly for mom but it would be good for us too.
Dad didn’t want a formal service and it always feels weird and unfinished with out anything.
We decided to ask her if she would feel comfortable with that idea and she agreed.
With all of us down the hall into her bedroom/sitting room we began to share a few words about dad.
In her quiet voice she mentioned that it feels very strange now to not have him around anymore.
He was always holding her hands and keeping her close by him.
It was for him a mixture of love, control and protection so she would remain safe.
We shared a little and laughed a little and asked her if she was sad.
Then we began to sing a few songs.
The ones that dad would know and love and also the ones she would remember.
Tears fell as the voices sang,”I come to the garden” along with “Amazing Grace” then adding “this little light of mine” and “Jesus loves me.” The voices continued with “Jesus loves the little children.”
The only few things missing from the room were a guitar and dad.
The service was short and simple but I do believe she enjoyed it.
It is hard when a loved one passes from us.
We remember so much on so many levels at different times of the day and hour. Grief cannot be rushed or hurried.
It is a process and it takes time.
He created and made this pretty gate but this is not where he is going to be laid to rest.
It was a choice of his and that will be honored.
A service of closure always leads us to a lifetime of remembering.
The good and not so much the bad.
It is pointless to remember bad things about someone now gone.
We had a service and tears were shed.
We closed the door on this chapter of our lives.
Our dad is gone now and we say good bye to a ‘man’ of many talents.
He lead a colorful life and we believe that only he would know the stories that haven’t been told.
Our dad is gone now and we move on one day at a time.
It does feel strange to not have him sitting in the room with us.
We miss him. Remember him and know he is in a better place.