Remembering a sister

Remembering a sister.
June 8th, 2019 my sister passed away.
She was the middle sister, and she had many strikes against her from day one.
When I heard about her death I could not let myself feel it.
We had just moved to a new home leaving our old one after 35 plus years.
We finalized the paper work in April and it was a lot of adjusting to a new place and new neighbors.
She passed away in June and life changed forever.
The year ended with a diagnosis of breast cancer for me, which led to surgery and radiation.
Still not really processing all the stress and changes that stirred within me.
Then quarantine arrived and changes took place again.
There was no closure between us when she died.
It was a difficult time of her sickness and the ability to visit with her wasn’t possible.
We had some really good memories throughout the years and I will hold on to those in my heart.
I know we helped her stay alive much longer than she should have..
She was on hospice in 2006 for the first time and she was very near death.
It was a rough season for us, my husband and I and my other sister and her husband worked around the clock.
Keeping her alive.
When you work with an alcoholic the only thing on their minds is ‘where is my drink?’
It did not matter if she shouldn’t have it, in fact part of her ‘prescription’ was a glass of alcohol.
It is not a good thing to totally take away the ‘drug’ choice when working with an addict.
It has to be monitored and carefully given especially in the amount that she was consuming.
She was able to live in an assisted living center and it helped her to stay stable, although she would often find someone to give her a bottle sometimes.
I’m not exactly sure what she died of, I am guessing her liver finally gave up.
She had Copd from years of smoking, she had serious health issues but still managed to defy death many times.’
I used to tease her about the ever ready battery she plugged into at night.
She had a life that was wild and crazy and she ‘danced’ to her own drumbeat throughout out the years.
Never did she fit into the ‘normal’ way, she tried, her husband tried with her.
But in the end her ‘wild’ ways won.
Today I remember a sister who was just little over a year older than me.
I will remember good times and her laughter and her humor and allow myself to grieve.
Who she was as a sister, and friend.