This was my second year without a mother. .
She died two years ago from a terrible condition called Parkinson’s disease.
It takes so much away from the ‘one who is ill.’ She managed it for a few years until it got more than she could handle and my dad was pretty weak.
So they ended up in an assisted living home. It was a big sacrifice for my dad as he was a cowboy who loved to be outside.
He had COPD and couldn’t breathe without oxygen, and then he got congestive heart failure.
So for them to be in a care setting was both safe and good for them.
Although he grumbled about the food, and the ladies who lived there. Most of the time ladies are the one’s who are in these places since they tend to live longer.
Mom progressively got worse and got to the point of needing help in standing, walking, feeding and bathroom duties.
It was very different to see her so dependent on others. She could stand but not for long, she could walk using a wheeled walker with hand brakes, although she would often forget the brakes needed to push down in order to work. She could talk in little whispers, and she sometimes had a very funny personality which was a new ‘experience for us’.
When we were growing up as little ‘kids and older’, she made it very clear to us she didn’t like animals. Didn’t like the hair or the mess.
So when she became older in these care homes, she softened and began to be both fond of and fascinated by the house dogs.
They had two pugs that were slightly round. Very sweet and very friendly.
When I realized the fact that she liked them, I began the process of knowing she was not the same mother I have known.
Parkinson’s took a lot of who she was away, and most of the time she could not process the words she wanted to share.
We would ask her, “do you like the dogs?” and she would say, “yes”.
Not a lot of chatter just a  simple answer to the question.

My husband lost his mom 6 year’s ago. My mom left two years ago, we don’t have our dad’s either.
So Father’s day and Mother’s day are just not the same now, even though we are parents and grand parents.
It is different. Each year brings new and old memories. Our thoughts drift back to years ago when it used to be a big deal
to present the mom’s with pansies and viola’s and geraniums too.
It became a tradition until it wasn’t anymore.