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Quiet days are ahead of us.
That is why I have not posted much this week.
My heart is heavy… perhaps even hurting.
My dad is slowing down and has been pretty sick this last week and we are not sure what this means for the long term.
He is 85.
He is also a restless cowboy living in an assisted living home
which was his choice but not really what he wanted.
When one is ill the choices of control become fewer and present needs begins to dictate the course.
Our mother is needing care and assistance so dad chose to move for her.
Now he is the one more needy.
Isn’t that the way it works sometimes… life often
does strange turn of events.
My heart is quiet and reflective.
I am not anxious or deep into worry.
Just reflecting on many levels of concern.
Reflecting on many years of not knowing this man I call dad.
The quiet is necessary for a heart to search out emotions and feelings and what needs to be said when a life is perhaps drawing to an end.
We never know when our final days come for any of us.
If we get the gift of spoken words, softly shared in
‘intimate moments’
we are very blessed.
Even unspoken words serve a purpose when words are not available.
My heart is quiet.
My sleep restless and at the same time deep and prayerful.
Quiet days are ahead for each of us and each day will bring more change.
Strength is needed for us all to push through to this next stage of ‘waiting’.
My heart remains heavy and full of thoughts reminding myself that we can learn many things from our silence.
The prayer now is that the silence not only teaches us
but also does a deep healing within us.