We quiet our hearts

by Sharon O | Apr 3, 2012 | Uncategorized

This is the week we quiet our hearts and
think about the Easter story.
It seems so hard for me at times
to really grasp all that Jesus had to take on.
God in his desire to save the people who he loves had to find a way
for us to to find redemption, forgiveness and most of all salvation.
When I think of Palm Sunday and the people welcoming Jesus
as they sang songs of praise and adoration
“hosanna blessed is he who comes” waving branches in a welcome way
I wonder what it felt like for him.
As Jesus rode on the donkey in a slow moving procession
were there deep concerns on his heart 
knowing full well
no one understood the moments that were to unfold in the days to come.
The people who were so excited to see him
had no clue how the story would change for them in just a short amount of time.
It also makes me think of the contrast
of Mary his mother who also rode on a donkey with deep concerns upon on her heart.
There were no welcome signs for her or people singing songs of excitement anticipating the birth of the baby to come.
No one understood the prophecy of that event either.
Because of his deep love for us
God had to find a way and
that way became Jesus.
I wonder what it would feel like
to know in ones heart that soon it would be over.
That the the journey you began would soon end and
the preparation of all that you had laid out
along with teachings, instructing and
let us not forget the miracles.
They were all a part of the story. John 3:16-17

His Story… a story of Love.
I wonder what it felt like for him as he laid his head down at night to rest
knowing in his heart
the count down would begin in the heavens.
The orchestrated players would do what was intended and
all the events would unfold into the miraculous.
A story of love would begin in a horrible way.
This is the week we quiet our hearts and
remember Sunday is coming.

How He Loves – David Crowder Band

by Sharon O | Apr 1, 2012 | Uncategorized

Guest Post shared with you

by Sharon O | Mar 29, 2012 | Uncategorized

This is my guest post that was posted on the Sacred Mundane blog :
I hope you enjoy it and perhaps give Kari a thank you for having me on her blog.

• Sacred Mundane » karipatterson.com

  kari@karipatterson.com

I was first introduced to reader Sharon via her “faithsgramma” email. I asked her to share what it’s like to embrace the Sacred Mundane as a grandparent. Enjoy her words today on being a godly “grand.”
—-
The day I became a grandmother my heart was a mixture of deep prayer and joy along with love on a level I never thought possible.
The call came telling me our daughter was in premature labor 7 weeks early, that life or death issues determined the baby needed to be born too soon for the safety of both of them. It was scary and gut-wrenching.
All I could do was pray.
Faith Elizabeth arrived weighing 2 pounds 11 ounces. She was a precious beautiful miracle baby. I remember standing over her neonatal bed thinking to myself, this is a sacred, holy moment.
On this day a grandma, a mom and a new baby, three generations huddle close to each other celebrating life and every breath.

{… he commanded our fathers so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commandments.} Psalm 78:6, 7

As I watched that tiny little baby sleep surrounded by IV tubes and buzzers I determined in my mind this grandma would share with her ways of God and the words of his truth any opportunity I could.

[These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.] Deut 6: 6, 7

Because she was a strong, healthy little baby Faith was released to go home early weighing only 3 lbs. 9 oz at 4 weeks. When our daughter had to return to work I made the choice to quit my job and stay home with Faith so she could get a good start in a protected environment.
Life as a stay at home grandma is not too different than a stay at home mom.
At times it was a bit boring, doing laundry and washing bottles, the day-to-day things that surround the care of a little baby.
It was in those moments I would continue to believe in this sacred duty. Every time I picked that tiny bundle up and held her close to me I was making memories and creating a safe place that only a grandma could do. It didn’t matter if fatigue was near or frustration walking close, what mattered was the attitude of my heart to be the spiritual grandma who told stories of Jesus and the faithfulness of our God who kept her tiny heartbeat strong.
I stayed home with her till she was age three and as time passed she has grown into a beautiful 12 year old. We have five other grandchildren now, and at times watching them is not always easy or exciting but the calling on my heart is to be a grandma who shares the love of God to each and every one of them.
I want them to know without a shadow of a doubt God is near and he loves them. I am honored to be their grandma, and pray they will love and serve God faithfully.
I am a grandmother embracing the Sacred Mundane. 

When an illness takes over

by Sharon O | Mar 27, 2012 | Uncategorized

We went back up to visit my dad this weekend for
the second time in two weeks.
It is important to go as often as we can allow ourselves to drive the distance.
He looked tired and we knew the drug he had been given opens up the airways and allows for air to flow adding color to his face. 
His moods were shifting from intense grumpiness to a smile and small conversation.
It is not often relational or even ‘real’ heart to heart talking
but it is listening to his voice and sensing his presence in the room
that makes the trip worth it for me.
A few days earlier he had a cortisone drip along with an infusion session to fight against the leukemia process.
It helps him for a small season of time but within that process of helping he is given a false sense of energy and stamina and feels like he can do more than he is able.
At one point in our visit he stood up and walked across the room.
We were startled to see him do this as he has not been able to walk that strong for weeks.
It is a false sense of strength for him and he becomes wired emotionally and later physically pulled into a direction of deep fatigue as the drug works itself out of his system.
Cancer is such an evil force.
Our pastor was talking yesterday about the fight between the light and the dark and the spiritual battle we all must deal with.
As I listened to him I saw my dad in a different kind of war of his own.
I could visualize each army of fighter cells armed with weapons of warfare to take him down physically.
It is a force he cannot always reckon with.
His energy is very low and when the prednisone drug is not in his system his breathing is very labored and his stamina very weak.
He agreed to exchange his walker for a motorized wheelchair which helps him move without using too much air.
His normal self is leaving and he is emotionally fighting the process.
It is always hard to give up and give in to the the many changes one must make when an illness takes over.
The process of dying is so hard on all involved.
I have often said it is like the experience of labor and delivery only one is coming into the world and in the dying process one is leaving.
We don’t know when dad will leave us.
We had a good visit and we purposely didn’t stay long as his stamina is low and each visit requires him to push himself.
He does not have the air strength to keep conversation flowing so he listens more than talks.
When we said we were leaving he stood up to say goodbye to us.
When I hugged him I wondered to myself if it would be our last and even wondered how would I remember him. The delicate journey between a father and a daughter is both frustrating and fragile.
When an illness takes over the family dynamics change and life is different for a season.
The grown ‘children’ become the caretakers and as difficult as it is
one would hope and pray that memories stay good and words stay kind.
When an illness takes over and final goodbyes are said
we pray for no regrets and no bad feelings left in our hearts
when a father and daughter says goodbye for the last time.

Be kind

by Sharon O | Mar 22, 2012 | Uncategorized

The reason I posted the last message was to remind us
that often times when stress or tension happens we will react sometimes in a way that is not ‘our normal’ behavior.
Especially if we are tired or we are having a bad ‘internal’ day.
When I saw that little quote it seemed like a good idea to remind us all to be careful and compassionate to those who we are close to.
How many times have we had a ‘moment’ with kids in the car or our spouse and then when we walk into church or another public place we act ‘as if nothing was going on’ 5 minutes earlier.
Someone could say, “Hey how you doing?” and instead of saying
“well not so good” we usually do the polite thing and say we are fine.
Fine is not an answer.
Fine is keeping the truth away.
Fine is perhaps pretending.
Let us remember to hold close those who we care for and be kind to each other.
We don’t realize how important it is for time is a gift for us and
we don’t know when it will be taken away.
I am not saying this for any reason other than as a reminder.
Your loved ones are more important then ‘the neighbors next door or who you work with’.
REMEMBER:
Kindness begins at home.
Ephesians 4:32 
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 
Today’s New International Version

Concentrated effort

by Sharon O | Mar 19, 2012 | Uncategorized

The three of us walked into the room and saw him sitting there
resting in his chair with oxygen tubes pumping much needed air into lungs that can’t do their job anymore.
He looked up at me and said, “you’re looking good girl”.
I said back to him, “you are looking good too”.
Thinking that he didn’t look as sick as he really was.
(later my husband said his eyes lit up when I walked into the room)
I stood by his chair for a few minutes then decided to sit on a 4 wheeled walker with hand held brakes that had a height that made me sit with my toes barely touching the floor.
He reached over and made sure the brakes were down so I wouldn’t slip off.
A gesture of kindness I appreciated even from his weakened condition.
At first there were four of us chatting
attempting to get beyond ‘the how are you feeling’ questions.
Then with concentrated effort his jokes began and we chuckled at a few of his choice words.
Humor is always his way of making a moment happen without getting near ‘matters of the heart’.
Relationships are hard for him.
Matters of the heart not easy or normal.
They are mostly caught through a glimpse of his brown eyes and
words
not spoken
or through the moments of silence between those who are sitting in the room with him
along with the muted western tv show on a mid sized screen.
It is the way he is while he waits for this season of life to be over.
We knew he would be tired before we arrived as he had a long morning visiting others.
Fatigue is an enemy when one is very sick.
A failing body doesn’t always give room for moments of grace.
I watched him as he visited with us.
His eyes showing the strain of life leaving and the wrinkles on his face seemed deeper.
His aging hands rested near his chair or lap seemed like they wanted something to do
but could no longer do it.
He drank his container of ensure slowly and
we noticed his legs once filled out now rest in loosely fitted jeans.
His arms showing days of not eating well and his hands are thinning and bruised.
Leukemia and old age are not good combinations for someone who is trying to hold on.
Copd does not help either as the lungs cannot distribute air that should be clean and clear.
The inhaler is just a small help these days.
The oxygen is a comfort and blessing turned up to a higher dose.
His voice now a ‘laryngitis whisper’
sometimes even hard to hear from a good ears perspective.
He concentrated on every word pausing at times to gather strength
or thought.
I will remember it as sweet and endearing time.
When we left I saw his eyes tired and weary.
As I was hugging him and the warmth of his sweater I thought to myself he needed a new shirt on.
Isn’t it funny what we think when we are in the presence of someone very ill.
It took concentrated effort for him to say goodbye.
He was tired and our leaving would bring a time of rest for him at least for a short time without interruption.
It was a good visit with this man we call dad.