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When I think of belonging…
I think of a decision that had to have taken place in order to belong to someone or something.
Such as when one chooses to get married to the ‘one’ special person or one chooses to have a baby. It is a decision that says you belong to me and I care. says belonging means a secure relationship.
When we belong to something we are giving ourselves to that commitment whether it is a family or a group. I read in a study book one time: Belonging will cost us something. We can be a private person wanting to belong but never letting anyone in to see what’s really happening inside or we can be a public person sharing with others our real selves. Being public empowers us to move beyond just showing up (in the relationship or group) it frees us to participate in the act of sharing our hearts our hurts our pains or our dreams. It is a willingness to divulge the most personal issues bringing intimacy and transparency into the relationship or group. There is a cost for us to belong. It is a sacrifice and takes effort to make it important.
When one belongs they are always mindful of ways to be together and enjoy life together within a safe secure relationship.
In a marriage situation it is having the freedom to say, ‘today I feel sad … or scared… or bored’ and knowing it is safe to say that.
In a secure relationship there is no threat.
Understanding and trust takes place when the ‘transparency of our heart can heard.’
It builds the relationship into a secure one.
Do you have good friends whom you ‘belong’ to in relationship?
We connect when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
We connect when we allow ourselves to be real.
We connect when someone says to us, “how are you today?”
and we feel we can say how we are back to them honestly.
We connect when we choose to be in relationship with someone.
It should not be a light hearted decision.
When we have the desire to commit to the relationship or group we can connect on a deeper level and on a prayerful level. God does not want us to stay on the surface.
He is always digging deeper into our hearts condition and pressing in on us to become more intimate and open.
I have learned through this last year that feeling secure is important to one’s journey.
When my husband’s mother was in her dying process often times I would walk into the room and I would have tears in my eyes. In that room it was safe to feel what I felt in the moment which was so unlike the way it was for me growing up.
To cry was never something I could do or feel.
It was hidden under covers in the night so it would not be heard.
For the lesson was told “if you are going to cry I will give you something to cry about.”
So the logical choice would be to hide.
I do not hide anymore.
This last year has brought many different hurtful things in my life and if the tears could not come then sickness would.
For the body must let go in some way.
Choosing to belong is saying: I believe in you, I will walk with you, I will support you and you are safe. When a relationship hurts us we often go running to the one’s who didn’t hurt us for they are safety and security and validation for that particular time in our lives.
Isn’t it awesome that we always have a secure place with our Lord?
If we were to look really hard we would see Him reaching out waiting for us to run into his safe loving arms as a father would wait for his children.
We will always belong to him if we have chosen to follow him.
Lord help us to feel secure as we rest in the knowing we belong to you.