Escape into quiet

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back into loneliness. Of all the needs a lonely child has, the one that must be satisfied, if there is going to be hope and a hope of wholeness, is the unshaken need for an unshakable God. The above quotes were from Maya Angelou ~ a wise old soul. These words are very similar to my experience growing up. I don’t remember feeling lonely but I always remembered feeling alone. By nature I have always thrived when I am alone in the quiet. I can think and process thoughts much better than in a room full of activity. So perhaps the child hood experiences were not all without purpose. If I was alone always I am afraid my own company would become boring. As a child music was indeed my refuge. In my room it became my escape. I could pretend I was Diana Ross standing next to the mirror lip syncing to the songs. Or I could sing and meditate on the words of Simon and Garfunkel, “I am a rock, I am an Island… a rock feels no pain and an island never cries.” I never did either. Music was my escape. I could go into my room turn the record player on with the black slick albums and escape as the record would turn and turn as the needle played the songs. Escaping into quiet was my way of creating normal. A quiet normal full of music that ministered to my ‘hurting heart’.