by Sharon O | Mar 7, 2012 | Uncategorized
As I sit in front of the computer screen I pray and ask and wait for the words to write.
My mind is fuzzy these days
there is no clear direction for writing, sharing or encouraging or even guest posting.
I did finish the one guest post and she will receive that soon.
It feels as if this waiting room wants me to quiet down and be very critical of what is written or shared.
My heart feels heavy knowing my dad is dealing with an out of control illness.
He is tired and a bit cranky.
Can’t really blame him for that when breathing is hard and stamina is low.
His fight is slowly coming an end.
There is nothing anyone can really do for him other than pray and be gentle
in our thoughts and ways towards him.
It is harder for me to share what is deep in my heart now that this blog is open to who ever reads it.
It is no longer like a journal book
it is open
exposed
making me feel more vulnerable.
Matters of the heart are private.
Where deep seated feelings are for just a moment or two
grief wants to come alongside me and I push her way
and tell her
not now I cannot be ready for you yet.
My heart remains quiet and my head fuzzy.
I don’t know how it should feel when a loved one is ill.
When my mom in law was ill it was different for me.
I could step back and be an observer making that role a safe one for me.
This is different
I am a daughter.
I cannot be unattached
he is my dad.
What happens next is a mystery for us all
it is out of any one’s control other than God.
I pray He gives us all the comfort we need in this time of waiting and
watching and wondering how the journey will end.
by Sharon O | Mar 5, 2012 | Uncategorized
We found this private beach and walked down the path to see it.
It was quiet
we were alone
we felt His presence.
It was peaceful.
We felt so blessed.
How often does one get a beach all to themselves?
For hours we were the only ones there
we could walk and not be bothered by anything but our thoughts.
It was a wonderful surprise for us to see and experience another day on the Oregon coast.
A beach in Oregon photos by Larry O
Linking up with Laura at The Wellspring on Playdates with God.
http://www.lauraboggess.com/
by Sharon O | Mar 4, 2012 | Uncategorized
Oh a place to relax and just wait for the the ending of the day.
We rejoiced in the beauty.
We appreciated the quiet.
We were ready to rest in the love and protection of God as we left to go home.
The beach is where we can find peace no matter what kind of day or week it has been.
It is always a place to relax.
Another ‘picture’ by Larry O of the Oregon coast.
Linking up with Deidra at Jumping Tandem
http://www.jumptandem.net/
by Sharon O | Mar 1, 2012 | Uncategorized
Quiet days are ahead of us.
That is why I have not posted much this week.
My heart is heavy… perhaps even hurting.
My dad is slowing down and has been pretty sick this last week and we are not sure what this means for the long term.
He is 85.
He is also a restless cowboy living in an assisted living home
which was his choice but not really what he wanted.
When one is ill the choices of control become fewer and present needs begins to dictate the course.
Our mother is needing care and assistance so dad chose to move for her.
Now he is the one more needy.
Isn’t that the way it works sometimes… life often
does strange turn of events.
My heart is quiet and reflective.
I am not anxious or deep into worry.
Just reflecting on many levels of concern.
Reflecting on many years of not knowing this man I call dad.
The quiet is necessary for a heart to search out emotions and feelings and what needs to be said when a life is perhaps drawing to an end.
We never know when our final days come for any of us.
If we get the gift of spoken words, softly shared in
‘intimate moments’
we are very blessed.
Even unspoken words serve a purpose when words are not available.
My heart is quiet.
My sleep restless and at the same time deep and prayerful.
Quiet days are ahead for each of us and each day will bring more change.
Strength is needed for us all to push through to this next stage of ‘waiting’.
My heart remains heavy and full of thoughts reminding myself that we can learn many things from our silence.
The prayer now is that the silence not only teaches us
but also does a deep healing within us.
by Sharon O | Feb 29, 2012 | Uncategorized
As of March 1st Google connect might be having problems with certain blogs.
So in effort to keep the readers that have signed up through Google reader I am letting them know that there is a subscription box available to sign up so the blog goes directly in their email box if they want to continue to be a reader on this blog.
As a common courtesy I just want to let readers know of the potential issues at hand.
I appreciate all your feedback and encouragement always.
