by Sharon O | Feb 14, 2010 | Uncategorized
Have you ever read the book of Job?
The other day I was reading some of it. The part that really became fascinating was the conversations between God and Job.
Now the very thought of even having a conversation with God, is an idea that doesn’t come naturally to me. I mean God, was talking to Job in the midst of a whirlwind. So it was the sound of whooshing air yet Job knew it was words? It said ‘The Lord answered Job from the whirlwind’.
I challenge you to read chapters 38, 39, 40, 41 and 42. It is awesome. I was reading it with great interest, and the most fascinating part was God’s challenge.
Several times in the passages God said to Job; “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.” He says this at least two times.
Wow, CAN you imagine? God saying… “Brace yourself…. I am going to be talking to you and YOU must answer me.” Then He continues, chapter 40 vs 1 “Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”
At one point Job answers him, chapter 40 vs 1-6. He becomes humbled. He realizes, HE should not be saying a word to God, other than humble words.
“I am nothing – how could I ever find the answers? I will cover my mouth with my hand. I have said too much already I have nothing more to say”.
Again I am in awe, that God would challenge Job, and gently Bless him back into the relationship again.
Isn’t it an awesome example for us to see God’s power, and His desire for relationship with us. He says later in chapter 42, when He is talking to a friend of Job’s…”My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer on your behalf. I will not treat you as you deserve, for you have not spoken accurately about me, as my servant Job has.” vs 10 When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact the Lord gave him twice as much as before. At the end it said ‘Job lived 140 years after that, living to see four generations of his children and grandchildren. Then he died, an old man who lived a long, full life.’
The prayers of a good friend is a gift we all need.
Today I spent time with my best friend, we shared from our hearts. It was good. A time for us to be reconnected, as sisters in the Lord and as good friends. When I ask her to pray for me I know she does. I don’t question it, I just know. It is important for her.
This reading in Job was powerful for me.
It spoke to me of relationship, of discipline, of love, of restoration and of humility.
After all that, a long full life.
What more could we ask for?
I challenge you today, to read the book of Job.
It is a good reminder of God’s power, love and desire to do good things for us.
by Sharon O | Feb 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
Today is my sister Mary’s birthday.
It is a miracle we thought would never happen.
In 2006, She was put on hospice with the diagnosis of death pending.
She was wheelchair bound, as she slumped over in the chair, with her 90 pound starving frame. One really won’t understand it all, without the pictures. They paint a picture of our reality in ways, that words can never do.
Her husband died before she did on July 26th, 2006. He was her caregiver.
It was a sad and horrible day for us all. Unexpected. Shocking. Numbing.
My sister who was dying just became a widow.
We brought her home in the quiet silence of the car, each of us in our own thoughts. She slept.
Soon our family room became a resting place for the dying.
Instead, she lived.
Her desire to live was stronger, than the force within her, to die.
Even though we helped save a life.
It was a journey none of us would ever want to repeat.
She was drowning in the sea of alcoholism, and like life guards, we jumped in and saved her.
It was hard, it was really hard. I don’t know how to swim, so it was very exhausting for me especially. We gave round the clock care. I slept by her bed on a cot for 6 weeks. Giving medications, every two hours, and spoon feeding her bites of mild foods.
Detoxing the demons out of her daily.
It was an incredibly hard experience, yet in the midst of the difficulty, we had some comedy relief.
Remembering the middle of the night, when I was SO exhausted to take her outside to smoke. I gave her one that was unlit, as she laid in her bed. She smoked it for 4 days. The same cigarette. Not ever realizing, it was never lit. I just leaned over her hospital bed with a dish, and said ‘dump your ashes’, and she did. There were none, but she didn’t know or care. She wanted her cigarette. I would watch her inhale and exhale pretend smoke. Feeling relieved I did not have to go out in the dark of the night.
The hospice team said it was a great idea. We have all laughed at the image of her, in bed smoking the unlit cigarette. I was just very tired and smoking was not important to me.
In 6 weeks, we brought her down from a massive amount of straight vodka, to two small doses, prescribed. You can’t totally remove all alcohol it has to be removed slowly. Her doctor was marvelous and knew what he was doing. He believed in the process, and helped us through many difficult moments. The hospice team extremely helpful, and most of all the Chaplain.
Almost four years later, she is alcohol free. Healthy. Living in an assisted living home, and thriving. She weighs 156 pounds and her brain is coming back.
It is a story of love, sacrifice, hope and sister hood. It is a story of family.
Our family.
A journey of life, death, and life again.
It is a story of sisters.
So today I wish my sister a Happy 57th Birthday.
In fact I tease her now; saying to her, “you better take classes on how to take care of the elderly. You will probably be taking care of ME some day.”
If you would have asked me, could I ever do all that? I would have said NO WAY. I am not a caregiver.
God brings to each one of us different seasons of our lives.
If we are not prepared, He will give us the strength, the patience and the willing heart. To do what needs to be done, for that season.
We brought my sister home to die, in a safe place so she would not be alone. We had no idea what we were doing, but God was with us through the process.
I am thankful that my sister chose life. This story is about her journey.
Her desire to better herself. I am thankful that she can enjoy her grand children now. Be healthy for her children, and even be healthy for us. I am thankful that I can say to her “Happy Birthday.”
It is a story of sisters.
by Sharon O | Feb 10, 2010 | Uncategorized
Psalm 139: 23-24 (the message)
Investigate my life, O God, find everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a picture of what I am about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong – then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Another version:
Psalm 139: 23-24
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the everlasting path.
———
Each of these versions speak of searching, knowing, testing and guiding.
The choice is ours every morning when we wake up.
We can ask God to show us what we need to correct.
What we need to improve on.
Even what we need to do, to become more trusting.
In order for me personally to say to God, please show me what needs to be changed.
I have to trust Him and be willing to listen.
I have to allow Him to examine my heart.
I have to be willing for Him to test me.
What if that test causes me pain?
Am I willing to have that pain, so that I can be given a stronger character through it?
I don’t believe we are given circumstances that we cannot handle.
We might not feel like we want to, or feel able, but HE knows our heart, because we have asked Him. He knows our intentions, because we have given Him permission, to get a picture of who we really are.
As age has come upon me, one thing that has been affected is my night driving. The weather makes me anxious, the darkness makes me anxious. My vision is not as good, and that makes me anxious. What has helped in this process is praying. As I am driving, no not with my eyes shut, I am praying for a calm heart, and for Him to remove my anxious thoughts.
If we ask Him, we must be willing to allow Him to lead and guide.
It is trust.
I pray that as we grow in our Christian walk, from our hearts cry, we will be willing to say.
Search me oh God.
See if there is any wrong way in me and remove it.
Make it SO clear to me that I will want it away; and not offend you.
Help me Lord, to have an open teachable heart, so you can guide me.
Psalm 143:8
Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.
by Sharon O | Feb 9, 2010 | Uncategorized
Sunday when we were in church, the worship leader played a song.
It ministered to my heart, and I felt a longing to share more about what the Lord was showing me through it.
The chorus:
At the cross you beckon me,
Draw me gently to my knees,
And I’m lost for words, and so lost in love
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrender
The song has been playing in my head since I heard it.
I wondered what the word beckon meant.
you beckon me.
Dictionary.com said: to wave and/or nod to somebody with the intention to make the person come closer.
God beckons us, waves to us, ‘come here, come be with me’. Draw near to me.
His intention for us is to draw near and come closer.
I visualized the scene in the movie, at the foot of the cross where Mary and the ladies were sobbing and grieving. Remember the scene; can you go there with me? How the reality of His death, brought the reality of His Life to them. They were drawn near because of their love. He draws near to us, because of His love.
It is an awesome thought.
Have you ever been somewhere, maybe in a store or after a church service, and you see someone you know, and you wave to them to get their attention. As if to say, come here, I want to talk to you.
That is what this is saying; to wave/nod with the ‘intention’ to make the person come closer.
He is saying to us, “please come, I want to share with you”.
Draw me gently, closer to the one who is asking.
I wondered, in this context what did draw mean?
Dictionary.com said: to drag or pull
So He is beckoning us to come near, pulling our hearts, toward a new experience with Him, to fall on our knees in humble praise. Moving our hearts into a new reality, just as the women at the foot of the cross were moved.
I am lost for words…I think when we SEE Jesus, we have no words, only worship.
I am lost in love…that means focused. Nothing around me can distract me.
God is asking for relationship.
He is calling to us, waving to us, saying to us, “remember me?”
Just as we would do towards a friend who we really want to talk to.
It is an awesome thought to realize, the God of the universe cares enough for us, to ask us to draw near. He desires us to make the move, drawing us gently, not forcing us, but gently drawing us to our knees.
It is not accidental. Come near, He is waving us purposely to come close. Do you grasp it yet? It is relationship.
How blessed are we as people. To have a God who cares for us so deeply, to desire a relationship with us. (remember the hymn ‘what a friend we have in Jesus?)
He promises, if we draw near to Him, HE will draw near to us.
James 4: Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
The other part of the song.
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrender.
That means, He breaks our sinful nature softly ‘not in an abrupt’ way.
Sweetly broken, gives me a word picture of how someone would hold a baby. Sweetly nurturing.
We are broken in a gentle loving way. As we surrender our lives to Him, ‘wholly surrender’ that means ‘whole’, all parts of our our lives.
Only through the cross, and only through the Lord and His love can we do this.
Psalm 63:2,3,4
I have seen you in the sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
Psalm 108:1
My heart is confident in you, Oh God; no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart!
I pray, that as we walk with the Lord, when he beckons us to come near, we will rush to His side, to spend time with Him.
Just as the women at the cross cried over the reality of His death, may we cry over the reality of the Life He gives to us?
This is my challenge today.
by Sharon O | Feb 7, 2010 | Uncategorized
It was in the middle of the morning. I was watching my niece’s baby, Lily. She is just barely 5 months old, very cute and sweet. She reminds me of a little teddy bear, only a bit busier. I had put a short sleeved shirt on her, the house was cool that day. Not sure why. Usually she moves her arms around in a very busy way, and is so happy to be playing. This day she held her hands together, or her arms across her chest, over each other. Sitting still and seeming to be unhappy. I noticed the chill in the air, and realized she might be cold. The dryer had clothes drying and some of her clothes, were in that load. I pulled them out and put on her a warm shirt with warm pants, changed her diaper and she was content. I moved that illustration to a heart issue. If our hearts are cold, we are less receptive to what is around us. We cross our arms around us, rather than reach out. We hold our hands, rather than the hands of others. It was a powerful illustration for me. She could not say to me; I am cold, yet she could tell me in other ways. Her level of comfort was in distress. How does our heart tell us we are in distress? We lose sleep. We grieve. We argue with others, or become impatient. We frustrate easily, over silly things. We become less friendly or nice to be around. When our hearts are in distress, our whole mannerism is off. Our character is off. We become less focused and free. Less enjoyable to be around. I thought this illustration was powerful. God often allows us to ‘feel’ something in order for us to attend to it. We may try to do works, to make us feel better, or we may try duties or chores, to make us feel better. Just as I attended to Lily’s physical needs, I could not take care of her immediate need. Until I realized what it was, she was cold. I found it amazing as soon as I put warm clothes on her, changed her diaper and put her to bed with two blankets, she slept for two hours. She was comfortable and no longer cold. Her distress level was minimized. It was an easy fix. I just had to pay attention to the need. Can we move this closer, as an example for our lives? How do we know when our heart is hurting or in distress? Wouldn’t it be good to pay attention, and realize, when we close off instead of reach out? Can we ask God to nudge us, when we begin to close off our feelings for others? Can we ask Him to show us, when we hold onto ourselves, instead of those around us? Just as Lily held her own hands, we hold our own. Maybe instead we should reach out for the hand of the ‘Saviour’, who brings order into our world. Then allow HIM to show us what is wrong in our heart. So the challenge today is, ‘what are you feeling?’ Is there something you are trying to push away? Wouldn’t it be easier to just ‘pull out of the dryer’ a warm shirt, acknowledge the distress, and start our day over? God wants us to pay attention to the needs of our hearts, and the hearts of those around us. If I had not paid attention to Lily’s body language, she might have been a sad, discomforted baby all day. I pray that as our eyes open, we listen to the needs of our hearts, and ask God to show us the heart needs of others. We might become truly blessed by what we experience, as we listen.
