by Sharon O | May 28, 2014 | Uncategorized
This season of life where many are passing away is strange and hard.
The ending of a life is so final
although
we know if they are believers they go to a better place.
But the finality of… ‘it’s over…their journey is finished’…
just makes me want to go to the beach and watch the waves and listen to the silence.
Silence does have a sound, and it is where we heal.
To get away from the noise and the busy lives and center in to what is really important.
This season of life has been both challenging and motivating.
Makes me wonder about
the kind of legacy I would be leaving.
That is something to think about ‘today’.
by Sharon O | May 25, 2014 | Uncategorized
Today is our first grand child’s birthday.
Faith Elizabeth was born eight weeks early.
It was an emergency situation, her mom was in crisis and the baby had to be born immediately.
The doctor told us she might be 3 pounds, and then he headed to the surgery room.
A while later after we had been waiting and praying he came through the doors again and said, “baby is fine but she is 2 pounds 11 oz and will be in Nicu until she is able to go home.”
I immediately cried.
Her first bed was a monitoring station in Neonatal Intensive care nursery where they monitor vitals and oxygen and warmth.
She never got jaundice which was amazing considering how tiny she was in Nicu.
She had Iv’s in her head for just a few days and then after an unsuccessful tube feeding she decided to start eating.
She never had to have oxygen as her lungs were strong and even though she was on monitor’s she never had a breathing problem.
Within a week she was released from one level of Nicu to the other not so critical Nicu.
She was like a little bird. So tiny and so fragile.
Yet also so very alert and precious.
On May 24, 15 years ago we became grandparents for the first time.
We have watched her grow into and become a beautiful, amazing young lady.
Ready for the world and ready for dreams and hopes and aspirations of life outside of highschool.
I often ask her, “what do you want to be when you grow up and become an adult?”
I am choosing to not show her ‘face’ as she is sensitive with her privacy and so am I.
Faith Elizabeth … we love you.
We pray for you… and we will always … always be here for you no matter what or where life takes you.
You have blessed us beyond our wildest imaginations.
You are beautiful. Smart. Funny. Kind and caring. Oh and very social.
You love God and your grandma. :o)
You are very close to your mom and your family.
We are SO blessed to have you be our first born grand child.
by Sharon O | May 20, 2014 | Uncategorized
In the series on the basket of words we have been learning about many ‘new’ words and discovering the role they play in a recovery process for someone.
We began with the word courage, then willingness, trust, tenderness, power, balance, change, rest, healing, compassion and play.
Now our twelfth word will be humor.
I know it seems to be a very strange word when dealing with ‘recovery’ and intense life experiences or memories.
When someone is in the recovery process as time moves on for them healing takes away so many hard and difficult feelings.
When those ‘intense feelings leave’ new ones are replaced within the person who is healing.
As they feel safe they begin to realize the real person tucked away inside the one who was hiding.
When I was in therapy and I learned to breathe and relax,
something changed deep inside my spirit.
People began to tell me I was becoming more funny.
It was natural but was also very hidden.
Dictionary.com said:
it is the expressing or perceiving the amusing or comical.
One quote I found said: purely intellectual manifestation of cleverness and quickness
of apprehension in discovering analogies between things,
with sharp observations or remarks.
Basically the quality of being funny.
Another quote by Constance Rourke said it this way:
(which is a bit easier to understand)
An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man
usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten.
(I don’t know this lady nor do I know the other person I quoted just liked what they had to say on the subject)
For the person in the process of healing humor can help
in many ways and on many levels.
It has been discovered through research that when we laugh we actually change our chemistry on the cellular level.
It also has been discovered that if cancer patients learn to laugh they sometimes can transform or reduce their ‘cancer cells’ allowing them to heal faster and stronger.
Stress is lightened and we are more healthy when we laugh.
In our growing up years we didn’t laugh very often as there was very little to laugh about.
Therapy opened up that door for me and as I walked into the room
‘of humor’ I realized it was freeing.
To look at life in a not so serious way and see it differently is both challenging and good.
Humor is healing to the soul and also ministers to those around us.
On many occasions I have had people say to me,
“Oh I miss your humor. you always make us laugh.”
Even though it still doesn’t feel natural to me,
I think that it is a very wonderful compliment.
So I challenge you today.
Find a funny movie, a book or a delightful walk and discover humor.
You won’t be sorry, I promise.
by Sharon O | May 18, 2014 | Uncategorized
The Lord is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation;
This is my God, and I will praise Him;
My father’s God, and I will extol him.
Exodus 15:1-3
For the new ‘Sunday community’.
by Sharon O | May 14, 2014 | Uncategorized
As we once more review the series called basket of words.
We have had the opportunity to learn the meaning of courage, willingness, trust, tenderness, power, balance, change, rest, healing, and compassion.
Now our eleventh word will be: Play
It seems like a strange word to talk about but for someone in recovery from childhood trauma it is critical to be able to lighten up and play and perhaps for the first time not be under such a heavy emotional spirit.
Dictionary.com says: play is a general word for any form of activity, amusement, often undirected random or spontaneous fun.
as opposed to seriousness.
childhood should be a time for play
During the summer my husband often volunteers for a group called ‘Royal Family kids camp’.
It is a camp for children who are in the foster care system.
(They are always looking for trained counselors to volunteer.) /www.rfkc.org or http://royalfamilykids.org/
For one week they are transported to an undisclosed location and allowed to play and be the children they were meant to be.
On the first day of camp each child is given a handmade quilt that is theirs to take back home with them as a treasured keepsake.
They schedule activities for them which includes water swim time in a pool along with other assorted group sessions.
Then in the middle of the week they have what they call a group ‘birthday party’.
This is very important as some children in very rough homes do not ever get a personal birthday party.
It is something that all children deserve but don’t always receive.
They have a ‘group’ birthday cake and each one gets to participate.
It is a fun time and also a sad time for this is also the day the children realize soon camp will be over.
It is hard for them to think about going back to where they came from and into a more serious setting.
Play is very hard to learn if someone was never allowed to just be a child when growing up.
Children who have had to live in difficult environments tend to carry with them very heavy spirits and lot’s of responsibility.
It is very sad.
Children need time to run and play carefree without worries or concerns.
For the adult who is in recovery learning to be spontaneous sometimes for the first time is very freeing.
They learn to play, color, swing on a swing, or even laugh out loud and be noisy.
I have seen some who have breathed a huge sigh of relief when they finally let go of the heaviness that surrounded them.
Sometimes when one is facing difficult memories or difficult ‘times’ internally they feel guilty when they play or begin to feel joyful.
It becomes an incongruent confused feeling because they feel like they should always have a serious ‘spirit’ around them.
For the adult in recovery from childhood trauma to relearn and live these simple things takes courage.
I found a quote by Anne Cassidy that fits this perfectly and really explains what I have been trying to explore with you:
(I don’t know who this lady is but I like what she said)
“I have begun to appreciate the generational patterns that ripple out from our lives like stones dropped in water, pulsing outward even after we are gone.
Although we have one childhood, we relive it first through our children’s then through our grandchildren’s eyes.”
That is so true.
I have learned through watching the children I can see hope and innocence and the freedom to be little ones.
Not all children have the chance to live a carefree life.
But it is the best ‘choice for all’ of them.
Agatha Christie says it very well when she said,
“One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood.”
I will add for that very reason, our eleventh word is play.
Childhood should be a time for play.
